How to treat a girl the way she should be treated

This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist, Author, and TV/radio host based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli is currently in private practice and specializes in individual and couples’ relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. As an author, she received a Next Generation Indie Book Award for her book “Thriving with ADHD: A Workbook for Kids” and also wrote “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband”. Kelli was a host on LA Talk Radio, a relationship expert for The Examiner, and speaks globally. You can also see her work on YouTube:, Instagram @kellimillertherapy, and her website: She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

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In our society, women and girls are often treated with disrespect. This is due, in part, to men and boys not fully understanding how to show them the respect they deserve. Any time you interact with people, including girls, you should strive to be as respectful as possible. Learn to respect the bodies, emotions, and opinions of girls, and to speak to them in a way that shows you care about their thoughts and feelings.

How to treat a girl the way she should be treated

There are certain things a father can’t teach his daughter. I’m speaking from experience here.

I know I can’t teach her about making friends with other girls, because there are subtleties there that I can’t pretend to understand. I can’t teach her about her body with any great authority, because I lack firsthand experience. And I can’t teach her about what it means to be a girl in modern society, because I simply don’t know.

But I’m OK with that. As a man, I know I can’t be the ideal teacher for EVERY lesson my daughter needs to learn, which is one of many reasons why I’m glad my daughter has so many kick-ass women in her life.

For every topic I’m completely ignorant about, she has mothers, aunts, grandmas, teachers, family members, friends, and role models that can teach and guide her so much better than I ever could’ve attempted.

So, what can a dad teach his daughter?

Lots of stuff. Love, empathy, reading, writing, how to drive, the name and superpowers of all the X-Men since 1963.

Dads make amazing teachers, but one thing I’m never going to worry about teaching my daughter is how to be a lady. Because how the hell could a man ever teach that?

Amazingly, there are dads out there who try. They fuss over what their daughters are wearing. They warn their daughters not to “distract” boys. They impart to their daughters their very MALE perspective on what it means for a woman to be “proper.” (In the most extreme cases, there are even fathers who insist that their daughters pledge their “purity” to them, as if that’s not the creepiest thing in the world.)

Men should NEVER tell a woman what it means to be a woman.

Because… well, just say that last sentence aloud and hear how insane it sounds. When men participate in trying to come up with the cultural definition of “womanhood,” that’s how you end up with a Congress full of old white dudes voting about what women can legally do with their own bodies.

That’s taxation without representation. And, if you know your history, you know that always leads to a revolution.

So, I will NEVER criticize my daughter for not being lady-like or ask her to act more feminine, because how the hell do I even know what those words mean?

Here’s what I can teach my daughter — I can teach her how she should expect to be treated by men.

There are many ways men can do this.

One of the most popular is one of my least favorite — the father-daughter dance.

I’m not a fan of this institution. Sure, they can be innocent fun and I’m all about dads spending one-on-one time with their daughters, but I think the dances themselves send a strange message.

For the most part, these dances are designed to resemble romantic high school dances and it’s a tradition for dads to take their daughters out on a “date” beforehand.

The dad will get his girl a corsage, they’ll go have dinner. It’s very cute, perfect Facebook photo fodder, but it’s a bizarre teaching tool.

Do fathers really think that role-playing dates with their daughters is an ideal way to show them what a functional relationship looks like? It will always be artificial and weird and strangely reinforce the father as a romantic ideal (which isn’t particularly healthy for the dad or the daughter).

My daughter isn’t going to learn how a man should respect her by me pretending that I’m taking her to prom.

My daughter CAN learn something about how men should treat women, however, by watching how I interact, on a daily basis, with the opposite sex, including her mom.

It’s classic modeling behavior. Role-playing will never be a better educational tool than real-world experience.

If my daughter is going to learn how men should treat women, it only makes sense that she’s going to learn that by observing me. I’m the primary man in her life (at the moment). The guy she’s stuck with until she’s old enough to ditch me.

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She’s going to learn how men treat women in a romantic relationship by observing how I treat my wife every day. That’s going to give her a complex look at the realities of an actual loving relationship (not some fake date at a community center).

And it doesn’t just stop with my wife. Her view of how men interact with women is going to be informed by ALL of my interactions with women.

The way I treat my mother, her school-friends, my co-workers, retail clerks, random women I meet in the street — THAT is how a dad shows his daughter what respect for women looks like.

So, the pressure is on me, because I KNOW she’s always watching. It’s a 24/7 teaching job for me.

I can’t teach her about her period as well as her mom might, but I can teach her a hell of a lot from my own behavior — by not mansplaining, by not getting all male-gazey, by not being weird about deferring to a woman who knows better just because men of my generation weren’t raised to do that.

I can never teach my daughter what it means to be a woman, but I can teach her what she should expect from men, in terms of basic respect, by letting her watch me try to walk the walk every day of my life.

THAT is what a dad can do.

Will I screw up? Hell yeah, I will. But, hopefully, in the end, the effort will be worth it, and my daughter will go out into the world, expecting (no, DEMANDING) an impossibly high standard of mutual respect from every man she meets. It’s what she deserves.

Want to create an amazing relationship with a woman and receive the same kind of love you’re giving in return? Here are 10 ways every man should treat a woman.

Pay Attention to Her

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Pay Attention to Her

Sometimes it’s the little things a man says and does that mean that most. Pay attention to what she’s doing, big and small. Usually, when a woman is switching things up, she’s trying to get your attention. Show her that you notice. Don’t be afraid to compliment that change either. It makes her feel good.

Communicate With Her

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Communicate With Her

Communication is everything in a relationship, especially for a woman. When something’s bothering you, it’s easy to shut down, think that she should just get it or believe that the issue will resolve itself. But sometimes it takes a certain level of honesty to resolve the issue and get the relationship where it needs to be. Make sure you’re actively listening when she’s sharing something with you and that you’re respectfully communicating when you feel like the respect isn’t mutual.

Respect Her

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Respect Her

A woman should always be treated with respect. Under no circumstances should arguments escalate to a point where you’re attacking and bringing her down. These acts of disrespect lack respect and can easily turn into emotional and physical abuse. No matter where an argument takes you, you should practice self-control and openly communicate what’s bothering you. Give her the same respect you’d want in the relationship. If you’re doing anything that compromises that, there’s a problem.

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Treat people the way you want to be treated is if you pick on someone they are going to pick on you back. For example you just randomly and start calling them names and hitting them, you should know better they are going to pick on you back and may start a fight for being so mean.

Treat people the way you want to be treated is important because you may not have any friends for being mean. If you don’t have any friends you going to be lonely for the rest of your life with a bad attitude and being mean.

Example for the treat people the way you want to be treated is you become a bully. Becoming a bully is not nice it’s very mean, cruel, and not cute. Another example is when someone is saying I feel like fighting and they came up to a random person and said I don’t know why because I been so so nice to you. The girl was bullied for a while and then they started fighting. So the girl was not treating the person the way she wants to be treated.

Example of a time when someone was treated nice when a girl was new at school and lonely because she didn’t know any one there. A nice girl came up to her and said that you can hang out with me since you don’t know any one yet. The girl made friends and she wasn’t lonely anymore.

In conclusion, treat people the way you want to be treated is very important because it’s better to be nice than mean. Example one day I was mean and I was lonely so I started to be nice because I thought to myself and said I don’t have any friends because I’m not treating people the way they want to be treated.


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A woman is a human being just like a man is. And therefore, we have to treat them well. Women are responsible for giving birth to children and this is why the men are here on Earth. And since a woman is a human being, she deserves to be treated with respect, admiration and kindness. There are women in this world that are mean and nasty as well. Mean and nasty people exist in both men and women.

However, that does not give a man the right to abuse the woman and to treat her like she is an object. There are many ways that a man can treat a woman well without being too nice. Being nice is a great thing. The focus of this article is not going to be how to get a woman to go out on a date and start a committed relationship with you. But this article will focus on the many ways you can treat a woman well and treat her in the way that she deserves to be treated. So here are ten ways that a man can treat a woman properly:

How to treat a girl the way she should be treated

Here is a woman wearing a pearl necklace and it looks like she is in the middle of meditating.

These First Two Reasons Are Very Important to Remember

1. First of all, a woman is a human being just like you are

Just remember that a woman has her flaws just like you do. A woman is not perfect and that imperfection is all a part of being human. This first reason should be obvious.

2. Do not treat her as an object

Too many men once they meet a woman will focus on what they can do to get her to get into bed with them. Such advances show no class and that shows that you are not treating a woman as a human being but that in this instance, you are treating her as an object to be taken advantage of. There are too many movies these days that have sex scenes in them and sex is big part of many people’s lives. But if your only goal in life is to have sex with a woman, that is an unhealthy obsession with the human body and this is not healthy in the long term. An obsession with sex will end up causing you major health problems in the future and it may even lead to death. So do not take these risks and gamble with your life. Are you still not convinced of the dangers of unprotected sex? This next part is intended to be humorous as well as good advice. For those of you that are heavy metal fans, listen to the song Sexecution by the band Annihilator. Also, as an important side note, it is estimated that 1 out of every 4 teenage girls in the United States have at least one sexually transmitted disease!

Strategies 3-5: Show Politeness, Class, & a Sense of Humor

3. Be polite

Women love men that are polite towards them and that’s one of the best ways that you can really make a good impression on her. Say thank you if you are thankful for something that she does for you. Be a good listener and do not under any circumstances interrupt her when she is speaking! There are few things more annoying to a woman than a man who constantly jumps in when a woman is speaking trying to tell them something. Do not interrupt her because that will show that you are rude.

4. Do not tell her dirty jokes or use dirty humor in your conversations with her

In our enthusiasm to communicate with others and have a good time, some of us will go over the top and use dirty humor to get our point across. But in the company of a woman, this behavior is unacceptable. Using foul language or dirty humor in front of a woman is a major turn off.

5. Have a sense of humor

A woman loves a man that has a sense of humor. Make her laugh by telling her funny stories and funny things that happened to you. You will be a much more pleasant person to be around if you can make a woman laugh.

Strategies 6-9

6. Smile at her and let her know that you enjoy her presence and company

A smile lets a woman know that you appreciate what she is saying and that you are interested in the conversation. A smile also shows that you are a person that enjoys being in the company of other people. Make sure that your smile is genuine and that you really mean to do it.

7. Offer to help her wear her coat or jacket if she is cold

If she is cold, offer to help her wear her jacket or coat. Doing so will show a woman that you care about her.

8. Ask her how she is doing if you sense that she is uncomfortable

If you sense or feel that the woman you are around is uncomfortable, then check on her and make sure that she is okay. Asking a woman if everything is okay with her or how her day is going will show that you really care about her well-being.

9. Do not try to ask her out on a date just after you have met her

Relationships take time to develop and because of that, it is not a good idea to ask a woman out on a date if you have just met her. Take the time to get to know her a bit. Only you know when the right time is to ask her out. But by asking her out on a date just after you have met her, this shows that you are rushing into things and pushing the relationship. If you try to rush into things, they usually do not work out well. Too many people rush into partnerships and they end up getting very badly hurt later on.

How to treat a girl the way she should be treated

Generally, so much emphasis has been placed on how a woman ought to be treated, almost to the extent that many women even forget that men have feelings, needs, emotions and ways they ought to be treated.

Many women even feel that men aren’t an emotional kind, but a research found that men are more emotional than women, but men are better at hiding their emotions. This shows that men also have a way that they should be treated.

This is how to treat your man, ladies:


Do you let your man know he’s important to you? Every man also wants to feel valued by his lady and every woman should treat her man thus. You ought to make him feel that it’s just him and no one else; make him know that he’s your priority and he’s highly cherished.


It’s unfair if you have to wait for your man to climb the mountain tops for you before you appreciate him. Every man wants to feel appreciated; appreciate your man for even the little things he does for you.


He definitely wants to know if you love and care about him, and to be fair to him, he doesn’t just want to be the only one showing all the love and care. Show him too that you also love and care about him; be kind and tender with him.

Your man also wants to be respected; he doesn’t want be treated with contempt and disregard. One way to show your man you value and care about him is by treating him with respect.


Every man loves a good meal and that’s a fact. Spoil your man with lovely dishes. I mean, if you don’t do this for him, who would you do this for?


Be the woman who blows the trumpet of her man; be supportive of him, be his biggest supporter, be there for him even when the chips are down, give him a reason to cheer even when he’s gloomy and be his number one supporter.


Stop being the kind of woman who only puts herself first and her man last. Stop thinking about yourself or putting yourself before what’s most important — your relationship with him. It shouldn’t just be about what you want and how your opinion should be the only one that counts; be selfless and put away every selfish act.


Truth be told; men love spontaneous women. A woman who’s spontaneous would definitely know how to keep her man happy. Learn how to thrill your man in ways he least expect.

9. Don’t be the woman who hurts her man’s feelings. Don’t use insulting words during a quarrel; realise he has feelings too and don’t keep reminding him of his past mistakes.

Every man definitely needs a queen, and when you exhibit these traits mentioned above, you deserve to be a queen.

How to treat a girl the way she should be treated

If you want to know how others treat you, the best starting place is to look at how you treat others.

And if you don’t like the way you’re treated, there’s only one course of action–to change your own behavior, because you can’t change anyone else’s.

Relationships function like a mirror–eventually that change will reflect back onto how you are treated.

Here are nine important principles to remember about how to treat others:

1. Instead of judging people by their past, stand by them and help them build their future. Everyone has a past. Some are a source of pride, and others are best left behind. But whatever their past, people do change and grow, so instead of judging, stand by and support them as they move toward their future. Treat them with respect and make their journey your own.

2. Listen with curiosity, speak with candor, and act with integrity. Listening and curiosity allow relationships to thrive. Speaking your truth allows people to be honest with themselves and with you, and acting with integrity keeps relationships on a high standard. Relationships need curiosity to grow, candor to deepen, and integrity to continue.

3. Treat everyone with kindness–not because they are kindhearted, but because you are. One of the greatest gifts we can give another is kindness. If someone is in need, lend a helping hand. Don’t do it only for the people you like and respect–that’s easy–but also for the ones who drive you crazy and those you don’t even know. True kindness lies in the act of giving without the expectation of getting something in return.

4. Don’t try to make yourself great by making someone else look small. The moment you think you have the right to belittle others because you are better than they are is the moment you prove you have no power. People tend to make others feel how they themselves feel, whether it’s great or small. If you can’t offer help, support, or love, at least do everything in your power not to hurt them or make them feel small. Treat everyone you meet with honor.

5. Remember, everyone has a story. It may be something they’ve gone through in the past or something they’re still dealing with, but remember that behavior doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Everyone has inner battles and issues. Withhold judgment and instead offer the consideration you’d like to receive.

6. We don’t meet people by accident. Every person you meet will have a role in your life, be it big or small. Some will help you grow, some will hurt you, some will inspire you to do better. At the same time, you are playing some role in their lives as well. Know that paths cross for a reason and treat people with significance.

7. The best teachers are those who don’t tell you how to get there but show the way. There is no better joy then helping people see a vision for themselves, seeing them go to levels higher than they ever would have imagined on their own. But that doesn’t mean you have to fix them or enable them; instead, guide them to the source of their own power. Offer them support and motivation as they find their own way and show you what they’re capable of. All you have to do is believe in them.

8. Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up. We like to think of life as a meritocracy, so it’s easy to look down on someone who isn’t as successful or accomplished or well educated as you are. But you have no idea how far that person has already climbed or where they will end up. Time could easily reverse your positions, so be sure you treat everyone with dignity.

9. Appreciate those who have supported you, forgive those who have hurt you, help those who need you. Business is complicated, life is complex, and leadership is difficult. Treat all people–including yourself–with love and compassion, and you can’t go wrong.

Treat people the way you want to be treated and life will instantly get better.

How to treat a girl the way she should be treated

OK first of all. this girl posted the above statement in her "details" and it threw me for whirl!

This is what’s wrong with Women these days (certainly not me!) They strive to feel even the smallest amount of affection from the male chauvinistic pigs that treat them like crap, & call them men/boyfriends/husbands… what have you… When they FINALLY get the attention or affection their “men” have been lacking to show… women indulge themselves in their own little world thinking their relationship will really work and that “these men” are actually coming around when from the start these “men” should have been showing that kind of affection/attention. I don’t think women realize that men are men and they are how they will always be… men don’t change… YOU can’t change them… if they are an ass to you from the beginning then they will forever be an ass… I mean OK if they are sarcastic then fine but there is a line between being an ass to be funny and get and keep your attention or being an ass for no reason… if they start to belittle you in the smallest ways… I PROMISE it will get worse… whether he beats you with words or uses his hands… its will eventually get there…. why women insist on allowing men to treat them like nothing, using and abusing them dumbfounds me… People NEVER stop learning so if you “teach” a GUY he can treat you like crap and keep you in arms reach he will continue to do it.. DUH! Nip it the butt! If he doesn’t like it he can split… The Nice guy always finishes last YES but the above is why… I don’t understand why women don’t go more for the good guy vs the mean one… don’t they see when you get a good one he treats you like the queen of his world not the scum the earth? Don’t they know what it’s like to be truly loved? What do they blame it on? I’ve heard people learn what love is from growing up… um.. maybe… but does that mean if you grew up with hugs and kisses that you will do the same to your kids or that if you grew up seeing your father beat your mother or vice versa that you will do the same? Um… no… you LET people treat you the way they treat you… and love the way you wanna love…

What are your thoughts… and no I’m not a scorned female by any means… just tired of women allowing themselves to be treated this way and then look for sympathy.