How to teach your child good manners

Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She’s also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the The Verywell Mind Podcast.

How to teach your child good manners

Adam Hester / Photodisc / Getty Images

A well-mannered child will stand out in today’s world for all the right reasons. Saying, “Please” and “thank you,” and using good table manners will get your child noticed by teachers and other parents.

Teaching good manners can seem a little tricky, however. It can be hard to convince a child to follow basic manners when his peers at school might not be doing so.

Help your child master basic manners with these discipline strategies:

1. Praise Your Child’s Use of Manners

Praise your child whenever you catch him using good manners. For young children, this may mean saying, “Great job remembering to say ‘thank you.'”

Praise older kids for putting their phone away when they’re at the dinner table or for shaking hands when greeting a new person.

If you’ve got a younger child, provide praise right away. Say, “You did a nice job thanking Grandma for that gift.”

Don’t embarrass a teen by praising him in front of other people. Instead, have a private conversation about how you appreciate that he behaved politely toward guests at a family gathering or give him positive feedback on how he handled an interaction with a store clerk.

2. Model Polite Behavior

The best way to teach your child any new skill is to be a good role model. When your child sees you speaking politely to others and using your manners, he’ll pick up on that.

Pay attention to how you interact with your spouse or close family members. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget to use manners with the people you feel most comfortable with.

Send thank you notes, ask for things politely, and show appreciation when people are kind. Whether you’re in line at the grocery store or you’re calling your doctor’s office, your kids are paying attention to your behavior.

And be careful about how you handle situations when you’re upset. If you’re angry with someone, do you tend to raise your voice? Do you use harsh words when you think someone has treated you unfairly? Your message about the importance of using manners won’t be heard if you don’t model how to behave politely and respectfully.

3. Role-Play Tricky Situations

Role-playing gives kids an opportunity to practice their skills. It can be a helpful strategy when you’re entering into a new situation or when you’re facing some complicated circumstances.

If your 5-year-old has invited friends to his birthday party, role-play how to use manners while opening presents. Help him practice how to thank people for his gift and how to respond if he opens a gift that he doesn’t particularly like.

Sit down with your child and say, “What would you do if…” and then see what he has to say. Pretend to be a friend or another adult and see how your child responds to specific situations. Then, provide feedback and help your child discover how to behave politely and respectfully in various scenarios.

4. Provide a Brief Explanation

Avoid lecturing or telling long-winded tales. Instead, simply state the reason why a specific behavior may not be appreciated.

Kids are more likely to remember their manners and specific etiquette rules when you provide a brief explanation about why a particular behavior is considered impolite or rude.

If your child is chewing with his mouth open, say, “People don’t want to see the food in your mouth when they’re trying to eat.” If you make a big deal about it, you may inadvertently encourage the behavior to continue.

But, if you can just state the reason in a calm and matter-of-fact manner, it can serve as a reminder for your child about why other people may not appreciate what he’s doing.

5. Keep Your Expectations Age-Appropriate

Make sure that your expectations are appropriate to your child’s age and developmental level. You can start working with a toddler on the basics of saying “please,” “thank you,” and “sorry.”

By the time your child’s a teenager, you should be focusing on advanced skills like phone etiquette and more complex communication skills.

Sometimes it’s helpful to really focus on one area at a time—like basic table manners—before moving onto other skills. If you give your child too much to learn at once he may become overwhelmed. It’s common too for previous skills to be revisited from time to time to make sure your child is remembering to use them.

A few years ago, my family was invited to dinner. As we sat down, my daughter, Campbell, and my son, Jackson (then 3 and 6), placed their napkins in their laps. Yes, I thought. Well done. Then the salmon arrived. “Eeeeww,” Jackson muttered as a piece of fish was placed in front of him. When I shot him my Mommy Death-Ray Eyes, he took a bite, but after two chews, he opened his mouth and just let the salmon plop onto his plate. I apologized endlessly to our friends, who were quite nice about it. Like many parents, my husband and I had been teaching our kids table manners forever. But we never guessed that we’d need to explain that “eeeeww,” while not acceptable at home, is quadruple-y unacceptable among company. “It’s a progression,” says Daniel Post Senning, of the Emily Post Institute. “You can’t just lay out the rules once and then expect that to be the end of it.”

Exasperating? Sure. But well worth it. “Good manners are social skills that help your kid succeed in class, with friends, with future employers. They give him the confidence to navigate his world,” says Post Senning. So here, an indigestion-saving guide on what to teach when and how to fix bad behavior — no nagging required. Then, try our Manners Bootcamp, a five-day table manners makeover plan to tame the wildest of your beasts!В

Ages 3 to 5

Add On Rules
You should teach table manners to kids under age 3 — especially how to say “please” and “thank you.” “If you don’t, you’re going to have to unteach bad behavior later on,” says Donna Jones, author of Taming Your Family Zoo: Six Weeks to Raising a Well-Mannered Child. But once your kid hits preschool, his attention span expands and he’s better at following directions. So add on new table rules!

What to Teach

  1. To sit at the table — really sit, no wiggling or wandering around — for about 15 to 30 minutes.
  2. To wait until everyone is seated to start eating. Simple as that.
  3. How to use a napkin. First, show your kid how to place it in her lap when she sits down. Next, show her how to use it — ahem, not her sleeve — to wipe her mouth and replace it on her lap. “Once you’ve explained the basics, just say ‘napkin’ — your kids will know what to do without things getting negative,” says Jones.
  4. How to chew with his mouth closed. “Take a bite of food and chew with a wide-open mouth so your kid sees all the mashed-up food. Ask, ‘Is this grossing you out? That’s why we chew with our mouth closed.’ It explains the rules in a light, fun way,” says Jones.
  5. The polite way to ask for food: “Please pass the potatoes” rather than “I want more potatoes.”
  6. Not to make comments like “Yuck!” Preschoolers often don’t understand the concept of hurt feelings — so just tell your child it’s not nice to say bad things about the food. Have her say: “I don’t really care for this.”

What You Can’t Expect

  • “To have a neat eater,” laughs Post Senning.
  • For kids to remember their manners. You’re going to have to remind and re-remind your preschooler constantly. “We came up with a signal so I’d avoid bugging my daughter about chewing with her mouth open. I’d put my finger up to my lips and she’d correct her behavior,” says Jones.

Ages 6 to 7

Fine-Tune
This is the age when kids learn how their actions affect other people (and vice versa), which can help them understand the whys behind manners.

What To Teach

  1. How to use a knife. By now, kids have developed the fine motor skills necessary to cut their own food. Show them how to gently slice back and forth, rather than stabbing at the chicken.
  2. Why it’s not appropriate to make negative comments about the food. Around first grade, kids really start to get the whole empathy thing — and you can explain how saying “Eeeeww!” can hurt the cook’s feelings, says Jones.
  3. How to dispose of food you don’t like. “The rule is that it goes out the way it went in,” says Post Senning. “So if your kid used his fork to take a bite of asparagus, the asparagus goes quietly back to the plate on the fork.” If the food’s been chewed (major gross-out potential), teach your child to discreetly spit it into his napkin.
  4. To thank the person who prepared the meal.

What You Can’t Expect

  • Perfection. Do, however, seize teachable moments — even if they’re manners your kid might not be quite ready for. For example, if you’re at a fancy wedding reception with different pieces of silver- and tableware, explain what each one is used for. Yes, he may forget, but it’ll help your grade-schooler feel more confident the next time.

Ages 8 to 10

Build Skills
By now your child is flying solo a lot more (going to sleepovers, heading to a neighbor’s house to hang), which makes it an ideal time to talk about how he should behave as a guest — and host.

What To Teach

  1. To be a good host: Offer your guests something to eat and drink and never eat something without first serving it to friends.
  2. Cell phones and video games do not come to the table. Mealtime is a social occasion, and having your face buried in Minecraft does not count as socializing.
  3. How to serve and pass food at the table. Teach things like using the serving spoon — not her own spoon — to dish from a common bowl. Also, if someone asks her to pass the bread, she should hand over the bread basket, not just a single slice.

What You Can’t Expect

  • To master their manners. “There may be some things that take longer to sink in,” says Jones. Just keep at it! “The older kids get, the more motivated they are to behave properly to avoid awkward social situations,” she adds. Don’t expect for the “lessons” to be over, either. Random things are bound to pop up, like how to eat artichokes. Yum!

Shaun Dreisbach, who lives in Essex, VT, is a freelance writer who specializes in parenting, health, and fitness.

How to teach your child good manners

Hero Images / Getty Images

If you’re a parent, grandparent, or teacher, you know the old saying that children are like sponges is true; they tend to soak up everything and every influence around them. Manners need to be taught, shown, and reinforced by parents and other adults who have the authority of them.

Charm Schools and Finishing Schools

Years ago, “finishing schools” were considered essential for all girls and many boys. Although some of them still exist, many parents don’t feel the need to send their children. They’re right, but only if they’re willing to take the time to teach the lessons on social behavior.

If you aren’t sure about what is or isn’t proper, consider looking into charm schools in your area. You might even want to ask if you can go through the program with your child. Not only will you learn something, but it will also be a fun family experience. If they won’t allow parents, you might ask if they offer a similar program for adults so you can reinforce what your children are taught.

Another option if you can’t find an in-person charm school is an online etiquette class. You and your children can sign up and participate in the privacy of your home.

While teaching your children manners, consider what is age appropriate, their ability to follow them, and who they’ll be around. Older family members will expect something completely different from what their peers will respond to. They also need to learn that some of their friends might have bad manners, and it is not okay to follow them.

Manners Tips

Here are some tips to help teach manners to your children:

  • Model manners. If you want your child to have good manners, you must make sure you do as well. This is definitely not an area in which you can get them to do as you say and not as you do. The first step to having a mannerly child is being a mannerly parent.
  • Practice at home. It is unrealistic for your child to just pick up the habit of good manners by telepathy. He or she needs to know what the rules are. Tell your child, put them in writing, and try including them in fun, playtime etiquette activities.
  • Take them out in public. Once you’ve taught and reinforced the manners rules at home, take your children out to casual restaurants, the library, the shopping mall, and other places where they can practice what they’ve learned.
  • Give him or her the words. There are 5 polite words and phrases that should be among the first in every child’s primary vocabulary. These should be used while speaking to babies, toddlers, and children. “Please,” “thank you,” “May I, “Excuse me,” and “No thank you,” should be required.
  • Give your youngster positive reinforcement. Children love praise, especially when it comes from a parent or someone they respect. Very often parents respond only to their children’s undesirable behavior, ignoring their victories and positive actions. This choice may actually have the reverse result. Children want attention any way they can get it, even if that means doing bad things. Encourage them when they are polite.
  • Be patient. It is true that most children are self-centered by nature. Every parent recognizes this very early in the parenting charge, and it’s up to you to turn this around. Teach them the importance of respecting other people’s feelings and needs. As they learn to listen more, speak less, have empathy for others, and humble themselves, their Golden Rule behavior will begin to shine forth.
  • Learn to coach. Many people are finding that they need someone to not only hold them accountable but to listen to their dreams, desires, and goals. Help your child to establish social goals that will better equip him or her for daily interpersonal communication and interaction. It is no secret that people don’t really like to be around others who are rude and obnoxious. No parent wants this for their child. Make a point to sit down and talk with them and listen to areas of struggle they may have when interacting with other people.
  • Teach table manners. Proper etiquette obviously includes table manners, so start teaching your children the basics from a very early age. Use age-appropriate lessons and reward them for following the rules.
  • Correct him or her on the spot. Very young children often times don’t realize what they are doing. For example, if you are speaking with a friend, your child might think it’s okay to interrupt you. Beg your friend’s pardon and let your child know that his or her interruption is inappropriate. Do this for any infraction your child commits. Make sure you use sensitivity in these types of situations. If you have an overly sensitive child, you might want to excuse yourself and speak with him or her privately.
  • Speak well. Speech habits are so important. Often parents may sabotage their children’s speech patterns by using language they don’t want their children to mimic. Again, this is an area in which you need to model the correct behavior. Unless you want your child to speak in a sloppy, slang-ridden way, be well-spoken yourself.
  • Lose the prejudices. Your children are going to model your biases. If you hold strong opinions about a particular group or person, you should not make this a public point. Teach your children to judge a person by their character and not their race, gender, religion, or nationality.

Happy Home and Social Life

Teaching your children manners is good for both their home and social life. They’ll attract friends who enjoy being around positive, well-mannered people. There will be more joy in the home and less strife, which gives everyone in the family a more solid relationship that will carry through to adulthood.

How to teach your child good manners

Modeling behaviors is the best way to teach your child good manners

Every parent dreams of the polite little child who says “please” and “thank you.” After all, your child’s behavior reflects on you. Manners come easily to some children while others struggle. Understanding the basis of good manners will help you teach your child good manners. Good manners, after all, are necessary for people to live together in this world. Gracious manners reflect a loving and considerate personality.

1. Expect respect

Believe it or not, you begin to teach your child good manners at birth, but you don’t call them that. The root of good manners is respect for another person; and the root of respect is sensitivity. Sensitivity is one of the most valuable qualities you can instill into your child — and it begins in infancy. The sensitive infant will naturally become the respectful child who, because he cares for another’s feelings, will naturally become a well-mannered person. His politeness will be more creative and more heartfelt than anything he could have learned from a book of etiquette. In recent years it has become socially correct to teach children to be “assertive.” Being assertive is healthy as long as it doesn’t override politeness and good manners.

How to teach your child good manners

2. Teach polite words early

Even two-year-olds can learn to say “please” and “thank you.” Even though they don’t yet understand the social graciousness of these words, the toddler concludes that “please” is how you get what you want and “thank you” is how you end an interaction. At least you’ve planted these social niceties into your child’s vocabulary; later they will be used with the understanding that they make others feel good about helping you. When you ask your toddler to give you something, open with “please” and close with “thank you.” Even before the child grasps the meaning of these words she learns they are important because mommy and daddy use them a lot and they have such nice expressions on their faces when they say these words. Children parrot these terms and understand their usefulness long before they understand their meaning.

3. Model manners

From age two to four, what Johnny hears, Johnny says. Let your child hear a lot of “please,” “thank you,” “you’re welcome,” and “excuse me” as you interact with people throughout the day. And address your little person with the same politeness you do an adult. Let your child catch the flavor of polite talk.

How to teach your child good manners

4. Teach name-calling

We have always made a point of opening each request by using the name of our child: “Jim, will you do this for me?” Our children picked up on this social nicety and address us by title: “Dad, may I…” or “Mom, would you…” When he was eight, our son Matthew made all of these language tools part of his social self. Matthew concluded that if he timed his approach for the right moment, looked me in the eye or touched my arm, addressed me as “Dad…,” and adds a “please” or “may I,” he could get just about anything he wants. Even when I know I’m being conned, I’m a pushover for politeness. Although Matthew didn’t always get his politely-presented wish, I always acknowledged his use of good manners.

5. Acknowledge the child

The old adage “children should be seen and not heard” was probably coined by a childless person. Include your child in adult goings-on, especially if there are no other children present. When you and your child are in a crowd of mostly adults, tuning out your child is asking for trouble. Even a child who is usually well-behaved will make a nuisance of herself in order to break through to you. Including the child teaches social skills, and acknowledging her presence shows her that she has value.

How to teach your child good manners

Stay connected with your child in situations that put her at risk for undesirable behavior. During a visit with other adults, keep your younger child physically close to you (or you stay close to him) and maintain frequent verbal and eye contact. Help your older child feel part of the action so that he is less likely to get bored and wander into trouble.

6. Don’t force manners.

Language is a skill to be enjoyed, not forced. While it’s okay to occasionally dangle a “say please” over a child before you grant the request don’t, like pet training, rigidly adhere to asking for the “magic word” before you give your child what he wants. The child may tire of these polite words even before he understands them. When you remind a child to say “please,” do so as part of good speech, not as a requirement for getting what he wants. And be sure he hears a lot of good speech from you. Overdo politeness while you’re teaching it and he’ll catch the idea faster. “Peas” with a grin shows you the child is feeling competent in her ability to communicate.

7. Correct politely

As a Little League baseball coach, I learned to “chew out a child” — politely. When a child made a dumb play (which is to be expected), I didn’t rant and rave like those overreacting coaches you see on television. Instead, I keep my voice modulated, look the child straight in the eye, and put my hand on his shoulder during my sermon. These gestures reflect that I am correcting the child because I care, not because I am out of control. My politeness showed him that I value him and want him to learn from his mistakes so he becomes a better player, and the child listens. I hope someday that same child will carry on these ball field manners when he becomes a coach.

Have you ever wondered why some children are so polite? The main reason is they are brought up in an environment that expects good manners. One day I noticed an English family entering a hotel. The father looked at his two sons, ages five and seven, and said, “Now chaps, do hold the door for the lady,” which they did. I asked him why his children were so well-mannered. He replied, “We expect it.”

How to teach your child good manners

Modeling behaviors is the best way to teach your child good manners

Every parent dreams of the polite little child who says “please” and “thank you.” After all, your child’s behavior reflects on you. Manners come easily to some children while others struggle. Understanding the basis of good manners will help you teach your child good manners. Good manners, after all, are necessary for people to live together in this world. Gracious manners reflect a loving and considerate personality.

1. Expect respect

Believe it or not, you begin to teach your child good manners at birth, but you don’t call them that. The root of good manners is respect for another person; and the root of respect is sensitivity. Sensitivity is one of the most valuable qualities you can instill into your child — and it begins in infancy. The sensitive infant will naturally become the respectful child who, because he cares for another’s feelings, will naturally become a well-mannered person. His politeness will be more creative and more heartfelt than anything he could have learned from a book of etiquette. In recent years it has become socially correct to teach children to be “assertive.” Being assertive is healthy as long as it doesn’t override politeness and good manners.

How to teach your child good manners

2. Teach polite words early

Even two-year-olds can learn to say “please” and “thank you.” Even though they don’t yet understand the social graciousness of these words, the toddler concludes that “please” is how you get what you want and “thank you” is how you end an interaction. At least you’ve planted these social niceties into your child’s vocabulary; later they will be used with the understanding that they make others feel good about helping you. When you ask your toddler to give you something, open with “please” and close with “thank you.” Even before the child grasps the meaning of these words she learns they are important because mommy and daddy use them a lot and they have such nice expressions on their faces when they say these words. Children parrot these terms and understand their usefulness long before they understand their meaning.

3. Model manners

From age two to four, what Johnny hears, Johnny says. Let your child hear a lot of “please,” “thank you,” “you’re welcome,” and “excuse me” as you interact with people throughout the day. And address your little person with the same politeness you do an adult. Let your child catch the flavor of polite talk.

How to teach your child good manners

4. Teach name-calling

We have always made a point of opening each request by using the name of our child: “Jim, will you do this for me?” Our children picked up on this social nicety and address us by title: “Dad, may I…” or “Mom, would you…” When he was eight, our son Matthew made all of these language tools part of his social self. Matthew concluded that if he timed his approach for the right moment, looked me in the eye or touched my arm, addressed me as “Dad…,” and adds a “please” or “may I,” he could get just about anything he wants. Even when I know I’m being conned, I’m a pushover for politeness. Although Matthew didn’t always get his politely-presented wish, I always acknowledged his use of good manners.

5. Acknowledge the child

The old adage “children should be seen and not heard” was probably coined by a childless person. Include your child in adult goings-on, especially if there are no other children present. When you and your child are in a crowd of mostly adults, tuning out your child is asking for trouble. Even a child who is usually well-behaved will make a nuisance of herself in order to break through to you. Including the child teaches social skills, and acknowledging her presence shows her that she has value.

How to teach your child good manners

Stay connected with your child in situations that put her at risk for undesirable behavior. During a visit with other adults, keep your younger child physically close to you (or you stay close to him) and maintain frequent verbal and eye contact. Help your older child feel part of the action so that he is less likely to get bored and wander into trouble.

6. Don’t force manners.

Language is a skill to be enjoyed, not forced. While it’s okay to occasionally dangle a “say please” over a child before you grant the request don’t, like pet training, rigidly adhere to asking for the “magic word” before you give your child what he wants. The child may tire of these polite words even before he understands them. When you remind a child to say “please,” do so as part of good speech, not as a requirement for getting what he wants. And be sure he hears a lot of good speech from you. Overdo politeness while you’re teaching it and he’ll catch the idea faster. “Peas” with a grin shows you the child is feeling competent in her ability to communicate.

7. Correct politely

As a Little League baseball coach, I learned to “chew out a child” — politely. When a child made a dumb play (which is to be expected), I didn’t rant and rave like those overreacting coaches you see on television. Instead, I keep my voice modulated, look the child straight in the eye, and put my hand on his shoulder during my sermon. These gestures reflect that I am correcting the child because I care, not because I am out of control. My politeness showed him that I value him and want him to learn from his mistakes so he becomes a better player, and the child listens. I hope someday that same child will carry on these ball field manners when he becomes a coach.

Have you ever wondered why some children are so polite? The main reason is they are brought up in an environment that expects good manners. One day I noticed an English family entering a hotel. The father looked at his two sons, ages five and seven, and said, “Now chaps, do hold the door for the lady,” which they did. I asked him why his children were so well-mannered. He replied, “We expect it.”

By Mary Jo DiLonardo

From burping in public to not shaking hands, kids and good manners aren’t always a natural fit. With every nose pick it may seem like a losing battle, but there are ways to turn your little monsters into civilized human beings.

Here are three no-fail suggestions from the manners gurus.

Good: Tell Stories

You can’t really preach manners. Kids will only hear, “Blah, blah, blah.” Instead, pepper your teaching with cool (and kind of weird) trivia about manners, suggests Peggy Post, a director of the Emily Post Institute and the author of more than a dozen books about etiquette. The stories will stick with them and help them remember to do what you’re advising.

Let’s say you want your kids to make eye contact and firmly shake hands when they meet people. But why do we shake hands? “You put out your hand to show you’re not holding a weapon — or at least that’s what they did in medieval times,” says Post.

And what about wanting kids to remove their ballcaps at the table? That polite practice also stems from the time of knights, who removed their helmets or lifted their visors at the table so people would know whether they were friend or foe. Talk of weapons and knights will keep kids intrigued enough to pay attention to your lessons about good manners. “Kids love those stories, and they don’t forget them,” says Post.

Better: Put It To Music

Kids (especially boys) adore body noises. If sounds aren’t coming out of their mouths, they’re coming out of their bottoms — and that’s obviously not great manners in public. Children’s- and business-etiquette expert Patricia Tice, Ph.D., owner of Etiquette Iowa, doesn’t ignore the noises. Instead, she puts what she calls “bottom burps” and “upper burps” into song in order to teach kids how to handle them.

To the tune of “Frère Jacques,” for example, Tice instructs her kiddie clients to sing: “Chew it quietly. Chew it quietly. Do not slurp. Do not slurp. We must say, ‘Excuse me.’ We must say, ‘Excuse me.’ When we burp. When we burp.” For sound effects, the kids make slurping and burping noises as they sing along.

Tice also suggests adding a health and manners lesson along with the song. “I teach [kids] that we take in food for our bodies because it’s fuel,” she says. “It helps us think. It helps us play sports. But when our body is using that fuel, it sometimes has to do an upper burp or a bottom burp. That’s OK. You just want to be careful that you don’t do it to offend other people.”

Continued

Best: Host A Rehearsal Dinner

OK, let’s say you want to go to a sit-down restaurant without having your kids act like heathens. So: Practice at home first. Use real dishes and glasses, cloth napkins and a tablecloth, and maybe even have everyone dress up.

Set a few clear dinner-table-manners rules. Some basics include saying “please” and “thank you” when asking others to pass items, chewing with your mouth closed, not talking with your mouth full, and holding utensils like a pencil instead of a shovel. Once everyone follows the rules successfully, the whole family wins! The prize? A good dinner at a cool restaurant. including dessert!

“Don’t harp on every little thing and be a drill sergeant,” advises Post. “Table manners aren’t something innate. We used to eat with our hands. It’s progressed into a way of getting food into our mouths without grossing other people out.”

Every parent wants their children to possess good character and manners especially to adults as well as to other children. This is because a child’s manners and respect towards other people is a reflection of their upbringing. For you to teach good manners to your child, you must first understand the basis of these manners for the manners to be a reflection of a considerate and loving personality. Here are a few tips on how you can teach your child good and courteous manners.

1. Teach politeness from an early age

Teach your child to use polite words right from when they are young in their lives. From as young as 2 years, children can learn how to use polite words like “thank you” and “please”. Despite young children not understanding the social graciousness and concept of polite words, at least they are able to identify that you should say please when you are asking for something and thank you for showing appreciation.

When talking to your child, you should use polite words so that you are able to lead by example. When your child grows up using such words, it will become quite easy to teach them good manners and train them on how to respect other people in the society.

2. Teach respect

The basis and root of good manners is respect. You should teach your child how to be respectful to other people. Respect and sensitivity are some of the exceptionally valuable qualities that you can instill in your child right from infancy. Sensitivity helps children to become naturally respectful and mindful of other people’s feelings and will make the child naturally well-mannered.

A child’s politeness becomes more heartfelt when the child is respectful to others. However, it is worth noting that respect goes two ways and as such, when you want your child to respect you and others, you must respect him/her first.

3. Model manners

Right from a young age, you should let your child become exposed to good manners. From as early as 2 years, you should let your child live in a well-mannered environment that prioritizes on respect, courtesy, and good behavior. Let your child grow up knowing that only good manners, politeness, and respect are acceptable in your home. Address your child in a polite and well-mannered way while at the same time ensuring that you are mindful of their feelings.

4. Acknowledge your child

You should never assume your child’s presence at home at any given time. Children are not only meant to be seen but heard too. You should let your child feel as part of the family by involving him/her in the family on-goings and plans. Let the child know that he/she has a place in the family and that their input in the family is valuable.

Including your child in the family’s dealings goes a long way in teaching social skills as well as acknowledging the importance of other people’s presence and input in their lives. You should let your child feel physically and emotionally close to you at all times.

5. Correct politely

It is obvious that your child will make mistakes from time to time. When such is the case, it is only right that you correct him/her politely by ensuring that you do not yell or rant at the child. While making mistakes is expected and common in children, how you correct him/her may damage their self esteem and they tend to become resistive and arrogant. When you correct your child politely, it becomes easy to let the child realize that what he/she did was wrong and should not be repeated.

6. Avoid forcing manners

Do not force your child to adopt good manners. Instead, you should teach these manners to the child gradually so that it becomes easy for them to learn. It is worth noting that teaching good manners to children can be likened to pet training. As much as you want your child to learn good manners, you should do it gradually so that you do not face any resistance or arrogance from the child. The best way to teach these manners is by incorporating them in the day to day life of the child so that the manners become part of their life.

7. Your behavior counts

Children most often imitate and copy their children especially as far as manners and behaviors are concerned. As such, you should watch your words and actions when interacting with other people in the child’s presence. For instance, when asking your partner to do something for you such as pass salt, you should use polite language by using words such as please and thank you. Avoid using inappropriate expressions of anger and cussing in the child’s presence.

8. Consistency is important

Good manners take time to learn and practice. Do not expect your child to learn good manners and adopt them right away. Instead, it takes time and effort to understand and perfect these manners. This is why it is necessary to ensure that you become consistent in advocating for good manners and discouraging ill behavior. You should ensure that your partner and caregiver work together with you in promoting good manners at all times.

9. Good manners last a lifetime

It is important for your child to understand that good manners are not only meant to be used in childhood only. Instead, these manners are supposed to grow old with the child right from childhood to old age. When everyone adopts good manners, it becomes easy for people to live together peacefully and in harmony.

10. Show love and care

Bring up children in love and care not only for themselves but for other people too is the greatest achievement that any parent can ever take pride in and boast of. This is because most of the present day social problems are as a result of hatred and lack of concern and care for other people. Foster love, care, and concern in your children and teach them how to express this love to other people.

When in the presence of your child, it is always important to ensure that you watch your tone and language as these two are inextricably connected. In addition to this, tone also influences the kind of attitude that your child will have towards other people and life in general. Requiring your children to express themselves politely and respectfully is a great place to start when teaching them good manners.

Other helpful resources you should read:

In the current fast-paced, technology-driven society, teaching children manners is more crucial than ever. Among the principal careers, we have as parents are always to help our children develop cultural skills, display to them how to interact courteously with people, and teach them to take care of others with respect.

How to Improve Kids ‘Manners

Have meal discussions: Not merely are standard family dinners important for children ‘health and growth (they’ve been connected to pay down the risk of obesity, healthier diet program, increased cultural and emotional abilities, better school performance, and more), they could be outstanding possibilities to possess children to practice how they have to talk to the others and how to essentially have a conversation (listen, watch for a chance to speak, differ respectfully, etc.).

Have children frequently state “thank you” and “please”: Whether in the home or a cafe get your children into the habit of saying thanks when somebody provides them food, helps them with something, offers them a present-day, or does something else for them. Teach your son or daughter to continually be respectful to waiters and waitresses, taxi drivers, and other people who serve them.

Ask them to write many thanks cards: A suitable many thanks card will express why your son or daughter appreciates a specific gift or favor and include some acknowledgment about the particular facility.

Set an example: Your child will learn by watching you, so really have a good look at your behavior. Would you say thanks when someone does something for you? Would you speak respectfully to your young ones and others around you? Would you treat family, friends, and even strangers with courtesy and respect? Evaluate your manners and conduct and make adjustments if necessary, which means that the child may use you as a role design to check out as he learns how to talk with people properly.

Demonstrate to them how to write polite emails and texts: Your child will communicate via email more often as she gets older. Review some basics with your son or daughter, such as how exactly to greet someone in a message, how to write in an obvious and polite tone, and how exactly to signal off by the end of the email (with “Truly,” or “Yours Truly,” or “Most readily useful,”). When you have allowed your older school-age child to use social networking, be sure he never posts rude comments.

Turn fully off the TV: Pundits talking over each other and hurling insults are typical on news programs, and of course, the “sassy” attitude you often see on many kids ‘shows. Reducing screen time is a great idea generally; research indicates that cutting back screen time improves kids ‘health, grades, and behavior, among other benefits.

Focus on methods to limit cell phone use and other electronic devices: You will find benefits to limiting screens that exceed building better manners.

Manners Children Frequently Lack

Provided that people see bad behavior everywhere around us, exactly what do we do as parents to ensure our youngsters follow excellent manners and handle others with courtesy and respect? Here are some ways many kids today are missing (along with the abilities which are often associated with them) and what parents can do to impress them within their children.

Participating with anyone next within their brain instead of looking at a screen: That behavior is really popular among adults and young ones equally that there’s a term due to it: phubbing, or telephone snubbing. Children today tend to be using tech press devices and hold directly on using them when they’re with friends or grownups.

Greeting people properly/having a discussion: Many children today do not practice basic good manners when meeting or talking to others. Good etiquette indicates looking the other person in a person’s eye when saying hello and speaking in their mind, listening from what they’re saying, responding to questions, and waiting your turn to speak—skills that many children sorely lack today.

Opening doors/holding doors for others: Does your son or daughter see someone experiencing a stroller and bags and notice that they may require help opening a door? Would they observe an older adult experiencing a huge case and ask if they need help? If the clear answer is no, it’s time for you to redirect your child’s thinking.

Expressing “thank you” and “please“: It is an unhappy reality that many young ones today are surprisingly rude when out in a cafe or other place where someone serves them or helps them. Even kiddies as young as era 3 and 4 must be repeatedly advised to say thanks, but it’s all too frequent to see children of ages—including older kids who shouldn’t need reminders—lack these basic manners.

Every parent wants their children to possess good character and manners especially to adults as well as to other children. This is because a child’s manners and respect towards other people is a reflection of their upbringing. For you to teach good manners to your child, you must first understand the basis of these manners for the manners to be a reflection of a considerate and loving personality. Here are a few tips on how you can teach your child good and courteous manners.

1. Teach politeness from an early age

Teach your child to use polite words right from when they are young in their lives. From as young as 2 years, children can learn how to use polite words like “thank you” and “please”. Despite young children not understanding the social graciousness and concept of polite words, at least they are able to identify that you should say please when you are asking for something and thank you for showing appreciation.

When talking to your child, you should use polite words so that you are able to lead by example. When your child grows up using such words, it will become quite easy to teach them good manners and train them on how to respect other people in the society.

2. Teach respect

The basis and root of good manners is respect. You should teach your child how to be respectful to other people. Respect and sensitivity are some of the exceptionally valuable qualities that you can instill in your child right from infancy. Sensitivity helps children to become naturally respectful and mindful of other people’s feelings and will make the child naturally well-mannered.

A child’s politeness becomes more heartfelt when the child is respectful to others. However, it is worth noting that respect goes two ways and as such, when you want your child to respect you and others, you must respect him/her first.

3. Model manners

Right from a young age, you should let your child become exposed to good manners. From as early as 2 years, you should let your child live in a well-mannered environment that prioritizes on respect, courtesy, and good behavior. Let your child grow up knowing that only good manners, politeness, and respect are acceptable in your home. Address your child in a polite and well-mannered way while at the same time ensuring that you are mindful of their feelings.

4. Acknowledge your child

You should never assume your child’s presence at home at any given time. Children are not only meant to be seen but heard too. You should let your child feel as part of the family by involving him/her in the family on-goings and plans. Let the child know that he/she has a place in the family and that their input in the family is valuable.

Including your child in the family’s dealings goes a long way in teaching social skills as well as acknowledging the importance of other people’s presence and input in their lives. You should let your child feel physically and emotionally close to you at all times.

5. Correct politely

It is obvious that your child will make mistakes from time to time. When such is the case, it is only right that you correct him/her politely by ensuring that you do not yell or rant at the child. While making mistakes is expected and common in children, how you correct him/her may damage their self esteem and they tend to become resistive and arrogant. When you correct your child politely, it becomes easy to let the child realize that what he/she did was wrong and should not be repeated.

6. Avoid forcing manners

Do not force your child to adopt good manners. Instead, you should teach these manners to the child gradually so that it becomes easy for them to learn. It is worth noting that teaching good manners to children can be likened to pet training. As much as you want your child to learn good manners, you should do it gradually so that you do not face any resistance or arrogance from the child. The best way to teach these manners is by incorporating them in the day to day life of the child so that the manners become part of their life.

7. Your behavior counts

Children most often imitate and copy their children especially as far as manners and behaviors are concerned. As such, you should watch your words and actions when interacting with other people in the child’s presence. For instance, when asking your partner to do something for you such as pass salt, you should use polite language by using words such as please and thank you. Avoid using inappropriate expressions of anger and cussing in the child’s presence.

8. Consistency is important

Good manners take time to learn and practice. Do not expect your child to learn good manners and adopt them right away. Instead, it takes time and effort to understand and perfect these manners. This is why it is necessary to ensure that you become consistent in advocating for good manners and discouraging ill behavior. You should ensure that your partner and caregiver work together with you in promoting good manners at all times.

9. Good manners last a lifetime

It is important for your child to understand that good manners are not only meant to be used in childhood only. Instead, these manners are supposed to grow old with the child right from childhood to old age. When everyone adopts good manners, it becomes easy for people to live together peacefully and in harmony.

10. Show love and care

Bring up children in love and care not only for themselves but for other people too is the greatest achievement that any parent can ever take pride in and boast of. This is because most of the present day social problems are as a result of hatred and lack of concern and care for other people. Foster love, care, and concern in your children and teach them how to express this love to other people.

When in the presence of your child, it is always important to ensure that you watch your tone and language as these two are inextricably connected. In addition to this, tone also influences the kind of attitude that your child will have towards other people and life in general. Requiring your children to express themselves politely and respectfully is a great place to start when teaching them good manners.

Other helpful resources you should read: