How to survive living with an alcoholic

Published:17.10.2016 |Author: Alcoholics Anonymous. com Contributor

Marrying an alcoholic can be stressful, and breaking the cycle of addiction affecting you and your family can seem impossible. However, you can help your alcoholic spouse recover, but the key is to help yourself first.

Non puoi "salvare" il coniuge dell’alcolista

An alcoholic husband or wife often blames his spouse for his addiction. If the spouse hadn’t done this or that, or hadn’t said that particular thing, they say, they wouldn’t be drinking. But you can’t really “drive someone to drink.” The complex combination of biological and emotional factors is addictive, and addicts often look to the guilt of others.

While you can support your spouse in the process of getting help, it’s important to realize that you can’t make them stop drinking. You can’t save them from the consequences of drinking, either.

Often, the partner tries to help keep life as normal as possible, hiding the addiction or saving the alcoholic in difficult situations. But that’s called “enabling,” and it doesn’t place responsibility for the addiction where it belongs. The first step in helping an addicted spouse is to stop protecting him from the consequences.

But you can make yourself stronger

How to survive living with an alcoholic

The first step in helping your spouse is to stop allowing your spouse to be preserved.

A partner’s alcohol addiction can suck you in before you realize it, leaving you vulnerable in many ways. A wife who makes a living and pays off all of her alcoholic husband’s bills can be devastated when she loses her job or doesn’t make large payments. A husband who worries constantly about his wife’s binge drinking while he’s at work may find his performance suffering. It’s essential to take charge of your own life, and separate yourself from the partner’s alcoholism.

Strengthening yourself in the face of your partner’s alcohol addiction can include things like:

  • The science of addiction
  • Looking for new ways to manage your finances
  • Crea un "piano di fuga" nel caso in cui la situazione peggiori
  • Better take care of your health
  • Find a support group for people in your situation

You don’t have to do it alone

One way spouses enable addicts is by helping them to keep their addiction secret, so it can be hard to tell others about what’s happening. But talking to other family and friends can help you gain perspective and brainstorm to encourage the addicted person to seek help.

It may also be helpful to consult with professionals such as consultants and groups. You can learn from others’ experiences, find resources and build a network of support for both yourself and your alcoholic spouse.

Offer honest support

Helping your alcoholic spouse get started with honesty. Find a time when they aren’t drinking to discuss your concerns calmly. Offer specific help, such as accompanying them on an appointment with a counselor or visiting a rehabilitation program. Without issuing ultimatums, state the consequences if they continue to drink – “ I won’t bail you out of jail any more.” “If you’re too hung over to go to work, I won’t call your boss and say you’re sick.” Focus on what you will do, not what you want them to do.

While it’s important to talk with your spouse, it’s also essential to feel safe. Be sure that you have an ‘escape route’ and help to call if your partner becomes angry or abusive.

Good people can have bad addictions, and asking an alcoholic’s spouse for help can be the first step in rebuilding your life together. Are you struggling with your partner’s alcoholism? Are you looking for ways to recover? We’re just a phone call away. Contact us at800-839-1686 Who answers? the answers you need today.

How to Live With an Alcoholic – Do’s and Don’ts

There is no doubt that living with an alcoholic is difficult. Living with anyone with an addiction can change everything in your life and can be frustrating and stressful. Sometimes this stress comes from the alcoholic himself, but often comes from frustration with ourselves and the choices we make about the alcoholic. It is very important to find the right perspective in living with an alcoholic; otherwise, the problem will dominate your life and change you in ways that may not be better.

How to survive living with an alcoholic

How to Live With an Alcoholic – Do’s and Don’ts

Know that you are not to blame

Often the alcoholic is ashamed of what he is doing and will try to blame someone else for his behavior. This person is often the one who lives with them. When the alcoholic starts blaming you, he reminds yourself that the cause is not you – the alcohol is. The alcoholic is just trying to find a way to live with the daily addiction, one that doesn’t make them feel any worse than they already do.

Don’t take it personally

Alcoholics often swear they can change, and then they do, for a while. But then they go back to drinking and leave you wondering why they lied to you and cheated on you. It is important to remember that they really do want to change, but a long-term alcoholic has an altered brain chemistry that won’t allow them to go without that next drink.

Don’t try to cure them

It can be tempting to do everything you can to “cure” the problem, but remember that alcoholism is a disease, one that even the best of medical care can’t always help. You can ask them to get help, but you can’t make them do it.

Understand that you cannot control them

An alcoholic isn’t going to stop drinking until they truly want to do so; and even then, they may need serious medical intervention for this to happen. When you try to control them by hiding the alcohol or doing other things like that, you will only get more frustrated when they find a way around that control. It can also make them mad at you, which increases their guilt on you. When living with an alcoholic, remember that you can’t stop them.

You shouldn’t accept bad behavior

Just because someone can’t control their alcohol consumption does not mean they get away with bad things. When the alcoholic says or does unacceptable things, he explains that these things will never happen again. There is no excuse for abusive behavior just because they were drunk. You definitely need to take a stand when their behavior gets out of control, or you will soon find yourself in an abusive relationship.

There is no need to hide

Never make excuses for the alcoholic or try to hide what they are doing. Never lie to them with family or friends. Everyone around you needs to understand the full extent of the problem in order to address it. The alcoholic is trying to hide the problem because they know how bad it is, and they don’t want anyone to ‘help’ them – they want to continue drinking. By not hiding behind them, you take away their ability to hide.

Don’t turn them on

Never do things that make it easier for an alcoholic to be an alcoholic. Never buy alcohol and never cover them when they have a hangover. Never lie to anyone about their behavior. Never make up for their shortfalls – if they say they will do something but then they are too drunk to do it, don’t make up for it by doing it yourself. Leave it there for them when they recover from the hangover. The less you turn them on, the more likely they are to see them do something wrong.

Don’t live in the past

There was probably a time you remember fondly before alcohol dominated. But now the one you love is an alcoholic and those happy days are over. If you continue to believe that everything will return to the way it was, you are assured that the help of your loved one will take even longer. Be realistic and be honest about what life is like right now.

Keep those expectations reasonable

It seems reasonable that if someone says they will get help, they will – but then they don’t. Or they might do something over and over that keeps hurting them, like buying more alcohol, but they really don’t seem to see the logical reasons why they shouldn’t. He remembers that the alcoholic is beyond reason: he has given up on this ability. If you have reasonable expectations, you will be hurt.

Find support and help

If the alcoholic won’t get help, that doesn’t mean that you have to sit there and suffer with them. You can get help for yourself. Support groups are full of people like you struggling with addiction and alcoholism from someone they love. When you take this step and take part in it, you will surely realize that you are not alone and it can make dealing with problems much easier.

Talk about it in good time

Many people will think that if they simply don’t talk about it, it will go away. But that’s enabling the alcoholic to pretend that everything is okay. It’s important to be willing and able to talk about the situation, and to know how to approach it the right way. Be simple and straightforward and try to talk to them when they are sober or at least have a hangover. Someone who is truly drunk won’t hear what you have to say, or at the very least, won’t remember it later.

Don’t threaten or ultimatum

This is not a game, so don’t make it into one. If you begin to threaten what will happen if they keep drinking, and then you don’t make good on that promise, they will immediately see you as weak, and they know they can continue to get away with it. It’s best to stay calm and calm, talk to them when they are sober, and have your game plan in mind.

Don’t complain and don’t get angry

When you live with an alcoholic it seems like a difficult task, but the more you complain about their behavior, the more likely they will blame you: “I’m drinking because you’re bothering me!” Take away from them the opportunity to blame you. By that same token, don’t get mad and say angry things, as that gives them even more reason to think it’s okay to drink.

Never drink with them

Even if you do enjoy a drink every now and then, don’t do it with them, ever. Alcoholics love to have an accomplice, so to speak. That’s why they love bars – everyone is drinking, so they feel like it’s okay to keep doing what they are doing. If you refuse to drink with them, they will be left alone with their alcohol, and this brings even more loneliness to the home.

Don’t hesitate to leave

The alcoholic will often escalate his behavior to make life miserable or everyone else around him, including himself. If it turns into verbal or emotional abuse, physical abuse, or threatens the life of you or your children, it’s time to get out of there. Get out of the house and consult a lawyer. Remember that your safety and well-being are the most important!

What if I’m married to an alcoholic? Find out what steps you should take if your husband or wife’s addiction starts affecting your family life.

The article at a glance:

  • One person’s addiction affects the whole family.
  • The spouse of the dependent person cannot do anything which is a common option but often a bad idea.
  • The spouse can address the addict through conversation or personal intervention.
  • Spouses should not allow addicts by justifying their behavior or taking care of them during a hangover.
  • It is important that spouses of drug addicts also receive help for themselves, and not just for the addicted person.

If you are struggling with alcohol abuse, or you are involved with someone who is struggling with alcohol addiction, you’ve likely heard the phrase “alcoholism is a family disease.” But what exactly does this phrase mean, and what steps should you take if someone’s addiction begins affecting family life?

"L’alcolismo è una malattia familiare" significa essenzialmente che la dipendenza di una persona colpisce l’intera famiglia, sia che si tratti di abusi fisici o verbali, di mancato adempimento dei doveri o di un cambiamento nella personalità della persona.

When this is the case in the family, all members should address the effects of alcoholism individually and as a whole. Sometimes it means attending Al-Anon meetings and other times it means removing yourself from the situation.

When dealing with an alcoholic spouse, consider the following options:

1. Do nothing. While it may seem like a terrible option, it is a decision made by many spouses of alcoholics. Sometimes it is difficult to separate the person they have married from the person they have become.

Some spouses cling to the memories of the person they first met and cling to the hope that the person will come back on their own. Indeed, the alcoholic is unlikely to recover on his own. It might not be a wise option, but many still choose it.

2. Challenge them. It could be an individual interview or an intervention with other people who are concerned about the person. Without confrontation, it’s unfair to expect a person to change. If you never tell them how their actions affect you, they will probably never know.

A confrontation can end badly, especially if the person is a functioning alcoholic who denies or has a history of verbal or physical abuse. For this reason, it may be wise to have other people present in front of an alcoholic.

How to survive living with an alcoholic

Most of us will meet people who drink too much in social situations. And honestly, who hasn’t had one (or three) too many drinks every now and then at their birthday party? The summer season is approaching. It’s time for parties and barbecues where storing wine and beer is part of hospitality.

However, for some of us, this season is much more common and personal as our intimate relationships are already clouded by the specter of the drinking problem. We view celebrations with growing fear as they provide our drinker with what he sees as a valid excuse for excess.

Below is a brief guide on how to manage your drunk behavior wisely and minimize its destructive impact. If you are at a social event, remember that if your partner is acting terrible, then he is embarrassing himself, not you. Don’t worry if you decide to leave early, take the car and leave your partner some cash for a taxi ride home later. It’s all about setting boundaries, which is a very smart move.

However, the real problems are taking hold behind closed doors. Your drunk partner walks into a house where social norms no longer require his natural restraint and the real problems begin. So what are you doing? As a relationship expert, here’s my advice:

Avoid confrontation At this time

This is difficult, especially if you are in a close relationship with the person who drinks. First, you will understandably feel angry that your partner has moved to the point where it seems like the drink is taking over. Okay, in our day, we’ve all laughed at cute giggling drunkards, but the joke quickly fades away when your partner does it over and over again. Entertainment is quickly replaced by worry, annoyance and, if it continues indefinitely, deep anger that will truly be understood by those living with compulsive behaviors. At this time pokusa, by posadzić swojego pijaka i dać mu duży kawałek swojego umysłu, jest prawie nie do odparcia i jest bardzo prawdopodobne, że właśnie to zrobiłeś!

However, most of the time it’s like sticking your finger into a wasp’s nest. Verbal insults and perversions of half-truths emerge that sting, frustrate and insult. You may feel better for a while, but an argument with a drunkard can quickly escalate to new levels of tension, aggression, and incompatibility. And even if your drinker is kind and talkative and wants to “talk hard” (as I have often fallen in love with), chances are he doesn’t remember anything in the morning. There is time to discuss and express how disappointed, hurt and angry you are, but not while he / she is still on drugs!

Retire

Most of the people who come to us at Bottled Up truly adore their drinking partner and want to work on their relationship before completely turning away from them. So coping strategies are really important. When you find yourself in a situation where a loved one drinks a lot, do a quick security check to make sure they’re not in unnecessary danger, and then pull out of the situation as much as possible.

You may not be able to control what is happening, but that doesn’t mean you have to sit back and watch. Do yourself a favor! Move to another room or floor or leave the situation completely. (Anche se sei bloccato nello stesso punto, indossa le cuffie e ascolta della musica interessante per sintonizzarti su quello che sta succedendo.) Nie daj się wciągnąć w i tak już chaotyczną dynamikę zachowań związanych z piciem.

Take care of yourself and your family

When your partner lets you down, you are hurt and angry, of course. However, if you have a regular drinking problem, it’s time to do something nice for yourself.

Think about it in advance. If this is the end of a long hard day, pamper yourself with a long hot bath. Save your favorite book or TV show to return to. Be prepared to move into a vacant bedroom if you have one. Drunk snoring next to you is not a great aphrodisiac! If it’s daylight and you have a family, take them for a walk or a meal. Play the board or video game you have set aside for these occasions.

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That’s why I love our Bottled Up forum because if you’re running out of ideas, other members can give you some brilliant tips to help you out here! It might be the worst time for your relationship with a drinker, but you can work to make it a good time for you. It may seem counterintuitive (and in some ways it is), but don’t let alcohol do more damage than it already does!

Be proactive, be creative and even take the offensive! This is your partner’s problem, it doesn’t have to be yours. This is where breaking away from love is fundamental, sensible and moving.

I’ve walked this path myself, and these strategies are painfully learned lessons over a long period of time, so be kind to yourself. Do a little bit of what you can and take back control of your life and situation. It won’t always be easy, but each new change brings a new sense of empowerment and new hope for more permanent change.

Don’t enter this summer season unprepared. If your partner presents with inappropriate behavior on a regular basis, set boundaries and appropriate responses. You may not be able to control their behavior, but you can definitely control your family and your choices; and if you finally decide that it is “enough”, know that you have applied everything you can to make your relationship work.

Find out more about living with an alcoholic by going to Bottled Up, where you will find videos, articles and audio tapes on the subject.

Expert relationship advice from YourTango:

It’s hard, but some of us have to do it! How to survive and stay strong.

How to survive living with an alcoholic

Quarrels, tensions and confrontations are the order of the day in life with an alcoholic. It is best to avoid interactions with the alcoholic while drinking; this includes talking and arguing with them. They are not thinking clearly and won’t take in what you say, so why waste your breath arguing about their behaviour? Why brawl and fight someone who has lost the ability to make sense? Don’t become ensnared in the alcoholic trap with them. Stay out of the trap so you can help them.

Alcoholics are often confrontational, so avoid this when they get drunk. This is often easier said than done. You may need to go to bed early or create your own relaxation area at home. If he’s following you in an attempt to get you into an argument, make sure he agrees instead of talking about it in the morning. Don’t say, “You’re drunk, so I am not discussing it” as this will only add fuel to the fire. Instead say, “I’m feeling too tired to discuss this now, so can we talk about it tomorrow?” He’ll probably continue to rant and rave, but keep firm to this line and hopefully he will leave off.

When he is sober, address the issue and say that you are ready to talk about what he wanted to talk about the night before. He may not remember having the conversation or context and tried to ignore it. You may need to give up on some reminders of offensive things that have been said. However don’t gloat, nag or labour the issue. If you are not comfortable doing this, then don’t do it – it is not mind games, but just enough to remind them of their behavior so they realize gradually over time that they are having blackouts and being nasty.

Additional Tip: When I would see the signs of a confrontation brewing I would deflect it by acting like I didn’t notice and then ‘casually’ realising we needed milk or I had forgotten to get something for dinner and leave the house as quickly and as casually as possible for a couple of hours with the kids and go to a friend’s or the playground. He’d be usually unconcious before I got back.

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2 thoughts on “ How To Avoid confrontation with an Alcoholic ”

This is the hardest part for me … and sometimes it has been. I have to tell you that, after finding your book, I am calmer. “Reacting in a neutral way” has become my way of thinking. It doesn’t always stop him from being explosive but, I don’t take on the tension like I always have. I look back on all the arguments, all the disrespect … it’s all so horrible. Why am I in this place?

Sometimes I look in the mirror, smiling at that person as if I love them. Thinking about how the person who returned me would see those eyes, that smile. I wonder if I can still show someone that I love him with my eyes, my smile, my heart …

Penso: "sei una donna tranquilla e attraente" … e poi sento la porta aprirsi e lei entra in casa e torna l’oscurità

Hi, thanks for this post. It feels like my life. I recently found out that I am married to an alcoholic, so I am still learning not to fight with my alcoholic husband, because it is useless.

This blog is somewhat similar to the previous one I wrote titled “When is it time to throw the towel?” – but the difference is that this comes from my personal archive and my experience.

A year ago is the anniversary of this final realization that there can be no life or relationship with my alcoholic / drug addict. It was a double-punch sucker because not only was it in the wake of the alleged holiday season, but Thanksgiving has been a symbol of countless reconciliations for years.

For years I have held the light in my imaginary window, believing again and again that this new healing after another relapse will be the one that sticks to the wall. Good. what is the definition of madness? Always doing the same thing in hopes of different results, but each time I believed that a new recovery strategy would be one that would work.

I wanted so badly to believe that the reality of the situation was becoming increasingly murky for me. And of course I invested so much time and cared so much about this person that I just couldn’t give up or question his self-esteem, or was told I wasn’t supporting.

So how did I finally get the last unrealistic, long, happy piece of rubber out of my shoe so that my loved one will FINALLY understand that living with me and being sober is better than drinking?

Over the years, there have been as many relapses as there have been attempts at recovery. Each time there was the promise of a different sponsor, a scarier, sober home, a new job, and a tearful proclamation that if he didn’t stop, he would surely die. The relationship started to fail when we went from living together to being exclusive even though we were living apart, to friendship and then to zero point.

This latest relapse turned out to be my last emotional turn. So often we hear that the alcoholic / addict must hit rock bottom; well, a family member (or the quiet majority, as I call this group) also hits rock bottom. When I realized that any intimate relationship with him would always be shaky to me, built more on quicksand than on land, and that friendship was all I could confidently offer, it was more real than he could bear.

So, a few days after this revelation hit me, I wasn’t surprised when an angry alcoholic (what a common phrase, and so rightly descriptive) started writing to me, how awful I am, nobody likes me, and my family could manage to barely look at me, I knew he was gone and was running with his best friend Jack Daniels.

Like a ton of bricks that suddenly hit me all the way through when I realized that now it was too much relapse and not even the friendship could last.

With a brief commitment of her words, she asked why I care if she has relapsed. I said no and it was none of my business but the effects of her intoxication of hers were greater than I could continue to entertain and hence friendship was no longer offered as friends did not treat friends the way they treated me.

I had lost all respect for him and could not accept the self-destructive, self-sabotage that he was going through with great difficulty; and he did it very effectively. Everything collapsed around me when I realized that unfortunately there was nothing left for me, and even friendship had now been reduced to shreds.

I had been with this gentleman for many years, and there was no doubt that I was worried and felt a depression in my stomach; however, I was relieved. He was no longer in my wheelhouse or on the radar screen where I hoped he would have a good day or nailed another week of sobriety towards a better life for him and a caring and sincere friendship between us.

After realizing that the little flicker had been wiped out permanently, I packed his personal belongings that I had kept for him while he was living sober and sent them to his mother. I sold his clothes, bicycle and other trinkets and donated the profits to the Humanitarian Society. I felt the animals would be much more grateful for another chance in his life, it seems, at least at the moment.

Pictures and boats full of papers and letters weren’t burned because I felt it would be an act of resentment and I was not offended, I just finished. I threw them in the bin without fuss.

I needed a clean sweep and believed I could feel my home and heart sigh with relief as the long-standing burden was finally lifted. It’s easy to slap my forehead and wonder what I’ve been thinking over the years littered with dozens of relapses and healings, but I don’t think I’m ready to emotionally pack up and move on.

I can now look back and appreciate what I have learned not only about myself, but also about the difficulty of maintaining a healthy relationship with someone who cannot or is unable to establish a healthy relationship with myself.

I have no resentment and will continue to pray for her well-being every night; but it’s a prayer for any person who is on a constant carousel of self-destruction, not someone I’ve been so emotionally attached to in an unhealthy way.

This blog is somewhat similar to the previous one I wrote titled “When is it time to throw the towel?” – but the difference is that this comes from my personal archive and my experience.

A year ago is the anniversary of this final realization that there can be no life or relationship with my alcoholic / drug addict. It was a double-punch sucker because not only was it in the wake of the alleged holiday season, but Thanksgiving has been a symbol of countless reconciliations for years.

For years I have held the light in my imaginary window, believing again and again that this new healing after another relapse will be the one that sticks to the wall. Good. what is the definition of madness? Always doing the same thing in hopes of different results, but each time I believed that a new recovery strategy would be one that would work.

I wanted so badly to believe that the reality of the situation was becoming increasingly murky for me. And of course I invested so much time and cared so much about this person that I just couldn’t give up or question his self-esteem, or was told I wasn’t supporting.

So how did I finally get the last unrealistic, long, happy piece of rubber out of my shoe so that my loved one will FINALLY understand that living with me and being sober is better than drinking?

Over the years, there have been as many relapses as there have been attempts at recovery. Each time there was the promise of a different sponsor, a scarier, sober home, a new job, and a tearful proclamation that if he didn’t stop, he would surely die. The relationship started to fail when we went from living together to being exclusive even though we were living apart, to friendship and then to zero point.

This latest relapse turned out to be my last emotional turn. So often we hear that the alcoholic / addict must hit rock bottom; well, a family member (or the quiet majority, as I call this group) also hits rock bottom. When I realized that any intimate relationship with him would always be shaky to me, built more on quicksand than on land, and that friendship was all I could confidently offer, it was more real than he could bear.

So, a few days after this revelation hit me, I wasn’t surprised when an angry alcoholic (what a common phrase, and so rightly descriptive) started writing to me, how awful I am, nobody likes me, and my family could manage to barely look at me, I knew he was gone and was running with his best friend Jack Daniels.

Like a ton of bricks that suddenly hit me all the way through when I realized that now it was too much relapse and not even the friendship could last.

With a brief commitment of her words, she asked why I care if she has relapsed. I said no and it was none of my business but the effects of her intoxication of hers were greater than I could continue to entertain and hence friendship was no longer offered as friends did not treat friends the way they treated me.

I had lost all respect for him and could not accept the self-destructive, self-sabotage that he was going through with great difficulty; and he did it very effectively. Everything collapsed around me when I realized that unfortunately there was nothing left for me, and even friendship had now been reduced to shreds.

I had been with this gentleman for many years, and there was no doubt that I was worried and felt a depression in my stomach; however, I was relieved. He was no longer in my wheelhouse or on the radar screen where I hoped he would have a good day or nailed another week of sobriety towards a better life for him and a caring and sincere friendship between us.

After realizing that the little flicker had been wiped out permanently, I packed his personal belongings that I had kept for him while he was living sober and sent them to his mother. I sold his clothes, bicycle and other trinkets and donated the profits to the Humanitarian Society. I felt the animals would be much more grateful for another chance in his life, it seems, at least at the moment.

Pictures and boats full of papers and letters weren’t burned because I felt it would be an act of resentment and I was not offended, I just finished. I threw them in the bin without fuss.

I needed a clean sweep and believed I could feel my home and heart sigh with relief as the long-standing burden was finally lifted. It’s easy to slap my forehead and wonder what I’ve been thinking over the years littered with dozens of relapses and healings, but I don’t think I’m ready to emotionally pack up and move on.

I can now look back and appreciate what I have learned not only about myself, but also about the difficulty of maintaining a healthy relationship with someone who cannot or is unable to establish a healthy relationship with myself.

I have no resentment and will continue to pray for her well-being every night; but it’s a prayer for any person who is on a constant carousel of self-destruction, not someone I’ve been so emotionally attached to in an unhealthy way.

The effects of living with an alcoholic are both short-term and permanent. Spouses of alcoholics are more likely to be victims of domestic violence, may suffer emotional damage, may neglect their health, and may be socially withdrawn. Many alcohol-afflicted relationships end in separation and lasting effects such as physical trauma, emotional trauma, additional addictions, financial problems, and broken relationships. To avoid or minimize these effects, it is important to directly address the drinking, try to help the alcoholic, and leave the relationship if necessary.

Page content

  • The challenges of living with an alcoholic partner
  • Unhealthy Coping Strategies
  • Permanent effects of living with an alcoholic
  • How to help an alcoholic spouse?
  • Support for close alcoholics

Living with someone who has an alcohol use disorder severe enough to be considered alcoholism presents many challenges. Spouses of alcoholics can suffer emotionally, be victims of domestic violence and violence, suffer from health problems and even develop their own addictions. The consequences of living this way and doing nothing to change can be long-term and can include mental illness, chronic health problems, permanent injuries, and broken relationships.

People who drink too often hurt those they love. Making excuses or avoiding the problem doesn’t help and in fact will lead to more harm for everyone involved. It is important to resolve this issue, to take steps to help the person struggling with alcohol, and to know when to leave so that they can use self-defense if necessary.

The challenges of living with an alcoholic partner

There are many challenges that a person living with a partner, husband or wife with an alcohol use disorder can face. These can vary depending on the situation and the people involved, but research has shown there are many things in common. For example, in one study, researchers interviewed 30 women who were wives of alcoholics about the problems they faced and the coping mechanisms they used.

The results showed that these women faced financial, social, emotional, as well as physical and violence challenges. The problems they mentioned during the study included:

  • Anxiety
  • Feel frustrated
  • Transfer this frustration to your children
  • Ignoring your children’s needs
  • Feeling of mental disorders
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Don’t pay attention to your health
  • Spend less time socializing with others
  • Shame in front of others
  • I have financial difficulties
  • Threatening or hearing a spouse threaten suicide
  • Being physically injured
  • Thinking about suicide

Most of the problems these women faced were emotional, but it is clear that living with an alcoholic partner also affects social health, physical well-being, relationships with children, and finances. Altri studi e statistiche mostrano che la violenza e il danno sono uno dei maggiori problemi che i coniugi e i partner devono affrontare.

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