How to stop feeling hurt

Daniel B. Block, MD, is an award-winning, board-certified psychiatrist who operates a private practice in Pennsylvania.

One of the reasons that many people use drugs is to cope with pain, whether that pain is physical or emotional (or both). At times when emotional pain is overwhelming, all you can think of is, “How can I stop hurting?”

At these times, drugs such as marijuana, painkillers, and alcohol can seem to be effective in reducing emotional pain. This includes opiate-based drugs, which are sometimes prescribed to people for the management of physical pain.

However, there are several reasons that using drugs to try and manage emotional pain is not a good idea.

The Rebound Effect

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EMS-Forster-Productions / Getty Images

Surprisingly enough, painkillers can actually make pain worse.   By trying to escape your emotional pain through the use of drugs, you are setting yourself up for needing more of the drug once the effect has worn off—a phenomenon known as the rebound effect.

Drugs that numb emotional pain as well as physical pain, tend to be addictive, both because of the physical dependence and the need to keep taking the drug to suppress emotional pain, which then exacerbates your physical pain. In fact, learning how to deal with your true feelings, no matter how unpleasant they seem, will liberate you from addiction.

Why Drugs Worsen Emotions

If instead of dealing with your feelings, you suppress them with drugs, they will tend to get worse rather than better.

Take shame, for example. If you feel bad about something you did or didn’t do, and then you get drunk to suppress those feelings of shame, there is a good chance you will feel more shame for something embarrassing or ill-judged that you did while you were under the influence of alcohol, doubling the shame you feel the next day.

In contrast, facing up to your embarrassment, and resolving to understand what you did and why you did it, will help you develop more compassion for yourself, so you beat yourself up less.

It will also make it less likely that you will make the same mistake again—especially if your judgment is not impaired by drugs, so your embarrassment will probably decrease over time.

Facing Emotional Pain

Although a drink or dose of opiates might seem to relieve your pain almost instantly, the effect will only last as long as you are under the influence. As soon as the drink or drug wears off, the emotional pain will come back, possibly worse than it was before.

People can go for years cycling through the vicious cycle of pain, shame, disappointment, and more pain, before finally realizing the effect will always wear off, and you will be left with the feelings underneath.   Some people never discover this.

Although escaping the pain through taking drugs might seem like the answer, the only way of truly escaping is by facing your emotional pain and working through it.

Coping With Your Emotions

The best thing you can do to avoid developing or worsening an addiction when you are struggling with pain is to deal directly with the emotions that burden you.

There are many strategies that you can use for doing this on your own, including:

  • Join a mindfulness, yoga, or meditation class, at your local community college or through meditation and yoga groups.
  • Read self-help books. If you can’t afford or don’t want to see a therapist, go to the library or bookstore and find a book to help guide you. Books on mindfulness work for any kind of emotional pain. Two good examples: “Managing Pain Before it Manages You” by M. Caudill, and “Pain Relief Without Drugs: A Self-Help Guide for Chronic Pain and Trauma” by J. Sadler.
  • See a therapist or counselor, who can help you uncover and deal with the emotions underlying your addiction.  

Getting the Right Medication

Sometimes emotional and physical pain is caused by a related condition, such as depression or an anxiety disorder.   A number of physical conditions can also cause emotional symptoms, such as low mood, fatigue, and irritability, which can mirror those of depression.

These are not “normal” emotional reactions and can be effectively treated with medications if properly identified. Antidepressant medications are not usually addictive,   although anti-anxiety medications can be, and all should only be taken as and when prescribed.

While antidepressants are not usually addictive, they should not be stopped abruptly because of the risk of withdrawal symptoms and relapse.

Talk to your doctor if you don’t feel you can manage your emotions effectively on your own, and they will be able to advise you about whether another kind of medication is right for you. This is much safer and more effective than self-medicating with drugs.

If you or a loved one are struggling with substance use or addiction, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

The five primary negative emotions are important feedback tools for our learning and growth. They are anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt and are the way our unconscious mind lets us know one or more of our boundaries have been crossed. Boundaries which can be changed through our decisions and beliefs.

Part 1 outlines a technique to release stored negative emotions by changing what you’re thinking about. It’s a great start to your personal development journey. Part 2 goes deeper into how to do this without the need for techniques.

Part 1

What are negative emotions for?

Negative emotions are the way our unconscious mind lets us know there is something to learn. If we didn’t learn then we may make the same mistake twice. By learning, we can better ourselves and grow as people. Learning sometimes happens unconsciously over time, however, sometimes they cannot be resolved by ourselves so we talk with people who are close to us.

Have you heard the story about the time someone lost their keys and got stuck outside their house all night or the time when they broke their arm falling off a roof as a kid or something similar yet they tell the story in a joking manner with plenty of laughter? Events like these were most likely traumatic at the time yet a few days, weeks or years later there are no negative feelings associated with them whatsoever. How can this be the case?

The answer is because in each case the person learnt positive things from the events. These positive learnings prevented the person from repeating the same behaviour making the negative emotion redundant so it releases itself.

By understanding the mechanics of this process of learning to release emotions, we can fast track this learning process by asking ourselves that very question: “what can I learn from this”.

The five primary negative emotions and their uses

  • Anger – usually linked to poor communication
  • Sadness – feeling sorry for oneself, usually when things haven’t worked out how you’d imagined
  • Fear – feeling of the unknown
  • Hurt – feeling sorry for oneself, usually when your values have been crossed
  • Guilt – having made mistakes, not doing the right thing

All other negative emotions which we experience fall underneath these primary ones. For example frustration could be classed as a type of anger and anxiety could be fear – whatever feels right for you is perfect.

The process of resolving negative emotions

The process is that you ask yourself which of the five primary negative emotions you are feeling and then ask yourself what you can learn from it. The learning needs to be:

  • Positive
  • Future focused

To help with the learnings, use the information below as a starting point.

How each of them can be released

Anger – who have you not listened to or who were you not patient with because they did not understand your communication? What will you change next time in order to learn from this?

Sadness – it is OK to feel sorry for yourself but it will only bring you more sadness. Ask yourself what you can learn from it in order that you grow and move onward.

Fear – for what, protection? Fear does not protect you, your fight-or-flight response does. What can you learn from the fear in order that you can proceed? What is the worst that could happen? You are stronger than your think.

Hurt – what for – to prevent future hurt? What can you learn from this in order to let it go once and for all?

Guilt – mistakes are the most important thing we can do as long as we learn from them. What can you learn and what actions can you take in order that guilt releases and you make amends with yourself.

Nobody makes you feel a certain way

The most common objection I get to this model is, “I can’t choose how I feel – they made me angry/sad”. The question I then ask is, “how did they make you angry/sad? Did they wrap it up as a present and give it to you?”

The fact is nobody makes you feel a certain way. We say something to ourselves and then make a decision as to how to feel. This is explained more thoroughly in my post on internal dialogue.

Things to consider with this technique

Sometimes we may experience more than one emotion during a period of time and this can be overwhelming. The skill is taking your time to isolate one emotion, taking a deep breath and asking yourself “what positive things can I learn from this which will help me in the future?”

This technique is great for processing strong emotions – but it is a technique.

If you want to develop something which is sustainable and requires no effort then make sure to check out 5 facts below.

Are you hurt or is the ‘I’ hurt?

How to stop feeling hurt

1 day ago · 3 min read

How to stop feeling hurt

First of all, I must pay my regards to the good sir J.Krishnamurti before starting the article, he’s the one who enlightened many dark paths of life for me.

Have you ever wondered why are you feeling hurt?

Whether you weren’t called for lunch by your friend or it’s criticism from a loved one.

We do know, that it’s not the physical pain that bothers us, but the psychological pain; the emotional wound that those words left us with.

Then what is it that is the cause of our suffering?

Is it a po s sibility that you are not hurt, but the image of yourself that you had in your mind is hurt? The relationship you thought you had with the person whose words feel like a knife stab now, is the reason for your suffering?

But is the image and you are different? No, as the experiencer and the experience are one. You are not different from the image because you created the image. The way you see society, family, the world, and yourself makes that image.

‘You are so stupid. I can’t imagine how can someone be that stupid.’

This particular sentence, word by word would have different effects if said by a stranger, by a loved one, or a person whom you admire and respect. But why is that?

The reason being, you have a different image of yourself for everyone you encounter.

When one is hurt, they are presumed to create a boundary around themselves. To avoid further hurt, they isolate themselves. All their energy goes toward that image.

One must not run from it. Or try to hide from it or for the worse, suppress it. But there exists a solution that may bring peace to you. Pay Attention. You don’t need to do anything else despite this. You are hurt when you acknowledge the image which is now hurt. The mind had recorded the image which is hurt.

Choose not to be harmed — And you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed — And you haven’t been

When you pay your full attention to the words, to the situation. Your mind will become aware of it hence it won’t create an image that is hurt. You have your energy concentrated toward it. Your senses are aware of it. Hence, it won’t record. Hence you won’t feel hurt.

Women tend to hold in their hurt feelings

By PT Staff published December 1, 2003 – last reviewed on June 9, 2016

For many people, especially women, much of their mental energy goes into stuffing their feelings so far down they don’t even know they have them. They spend their life pleasing others, seeking the approval of everyone but themselves.

“We are nobodies. We are in hiding. We don’t know who we are,” says psychologist Emilie Ross Raphael, Ph.D., of Chapel Hill, North Carolina. She means “we” not in the collective sense but in the personal sense. She includes herself among those who have—or in her case, had—to learn how to be honest about her own feelings.

Typically, says Raphael, the problem involves always saying “yes” when often you mean “no.” And the resolution typically comes down to giving yourself permission to feel angry—and finding the courage to say what’s on your mind without fear of losing the love of others.

Until this happens, it’s not possible to have a healthy relationship. Hurt feelings are inevitable in relationships, bound to arise in a fast-paced world of imperfect communication between people.

The trick is speaking them. That requires expressing anger appropriately—one of the great challenges of being a grownup and managing ourselves. More often people hold their feelings in, then at some minor infraction explode out of proportion to the cause, often bewildering everyone around them.

It’s not an overnight process. You have to learn to set limits with others. And to move the sources of approval inward, from outward. “This is the story of my life,” says Raphael. “It comes from having hard-to-please parents who set high standards. When we grow up we carry the critical parents around in our head. We become the critical ones. We are, for example, forever discounting compliments. And we maintain a low self-image by selectively focusing on negative input from those around us.”

For starters, you have to begin to think of anger as a constructive emotion. It’s a signal that your feelings are hurt and you must move into conflict resolution. Raphael sets out the steps in her book Free Spirit: A Declaration of Independence for Women(Washington House).

Here is Raphael’s advice for expressing anger appropriately.

&bull Examine whether your current anger or resentment or hurt feelings are the tip of a much larger iceberg. How long have you had such feelings? If you get upset with your husband because he’s going out with his buddies for an evening, maybe it really isn’t about that instance but about how much of his himself he generally gives to you and your feeling that it isn’t enough.

&bull Learn to be brave. If you feel that you are easily intimidated into backing down, write down your feelings and give your writing to the other person.

&bull Don’t make blaming statements. Conflict resolution begins with the understanding that truth is relative. So much depends on one’s perspective, and none of us has a lock on the whole picture of anything. Nevertheless, most people start with exactly the most destructive question: Who is right and who is wrong. Two people spend time trying to convince the other of the rightness of his or her own position. But in fact, most disagreements are based on interpretations that come directly from private experiences in life, not some verifiable Truth.

The single best way to resolve conflict is to listen to the other party. Most people just want to be heard; it is a basic form of validation. And often the solution suggests itself from what is spoken.

&bull Allow your partner to express his or her grievances. This is a good thing, because otherwise these feelings build walls between people.

&bull Take responsibility for your part in creating problems. Ask yourself: How did my actions and the things I’ve said or failed to say helped to create this situation or crisis?

&bull It’s the final step that people most commonly fall short on—accepting responsibility for making things better. “You need to seek out what will make the situation better in the future so this situation doesn’t arise again,” observes Raphael. “Further, you need to tell the other person, ‘this is what I need from you now to make things better.’ You need to take responsibility for what will fix it now. Is it merely listening? Is it an apology? Most people miss this piece.”

“You’re too sensitive,” my boyfriend said last week.

“I know, isn’t it great?” I responded proudly, fully meaning it.

I’ve only recently begun to recognize the sheer strength of my sensitivity. Having been told to “toughen up” my entire life, I used to feel as though there was something fundamentally wrong with me, that I was somehow born flawed and cursed. While everyone else walked around with thick, impenetrable skin, mine was thin and absorbent. Almost everything affected me deeply, from an unkind word to a neglected animal to a war raging in a far off country.

It wasn’t until I discovered that there were others like me (1.4 billion people, according to Dr. Elaine Aron, leading researcher of the innate trait of high sensitivity) that I started to feel like a part of something larger than me and finally gave myself permission to stop beating myself up for being so emotionally affected.

If you’re constantly told you’re “too sensitive” and need to “toughen up,” chances are you’re among the 20 percent who are highly sensitive and resonate with the following traits:

You’re easily overstimulated by loud noises and bright lights.
You need a lot of quiet down time, preferably alone.
Violent movies are excruciating to watch.
You feel everything deeply and cry easily.
You tend to overthink things and take longer to make decisions.
You’re exhausted after being around people and need some alone time to recharge.
You’re often overwhelmed and anxious, prone to bouts of depression and sadness.
You can sense the emotions of those around you.

If you relate to any of the above and cringe every time you hear the words, “toughen up,” here are three steps to turn the most common and dreaded advice you receive into something positive.

1) Consider the source and intention

For the most part, non highly sensitive people have good intentions when dishing out those two words from hell. To them, allowing yourself to feel deeply is a weakness because it causes you to get hurt easily, so it’s only logical that you toughen up, stop feeling deeply and you won’t get hurt. Pain avoidance is not only logical, it’s societally encouraged. But for highly sensitive people, logic is often overruled by the heart. We are led by our hearts rather than our heads, so to “toughen up” from a heart standpoint means to deny the very thing that makes you YOU. Telling a highly sensitive person to toughen up is like telling sugar not to be sweet. For those who don’t understand the deeply rooted inherent trait of sensitivity, “toughen up” is considered a piece of helpful advice to adjust a mere personality quirk, not an entire identity overhaul, which is how many of us highly sensitives take it.

2) Use your natural empathy to understand the deeper motive

My boyfriend and I have a saying — he’s the head, I’m the heart. We balance each other out. Being the rational, logical mind in the relationship, he recognizes the importance of our balance and knows there’s only room for one dominant head in the relationship, not two. But even still, there are times when I’m hurt and he tells me to toughen up. Gifted with the empathic ability to sense other people’s emotions and underlying intentions, I not only sense his masculine need to protect me from hurt, I feel his pain and helplessness of not being able to protect me from emotional hurt. He can physically shield me from a knife coming at my chest, but he can’t shield me from a knife cutting my heart from the inside. It’s ironic that his words directed at me could easily be turned back against him. Underneath his motive to save me from getting hurt lies a deeper desire to help me toughen up so he doesn’t have to feel the pain of seeing me in pain, and worse, not being able to stop it.

Once I truly understood the psychological underpinnings behind the well-worn advice, I found compassion for those who told me to toughen up. Now, instead of cringing because I think they’re trying to change who I am, I can see it for what it truly is, an attempt at pain avoidance and a well-intentioned though misplaced piece of advice. Nothing more.

3) Reframe the meaning of “toughen up” from a highly sensitive perspective

Being highly sensitive, your brain is hardwired to consider things from multiple angles. Use that to your advantage and consider the possibility that “toughen up” could mean strengthening your resolve to embrace and support your sensitivity. Instead of seeing it as a weakness, become curious about it and find ways in which it actually benefits you and those you love. Toughen up your wavering self-doubt and take a stand for your deep feelings. How many times have you felt such intense emotion and come out stronger on the other side? Do you know many others who wouldn’t be absolutely crushed with half the amount of pain you’ve felt, and probably feel on a daily basis? Instead of trying to toughen up your heart, toughen up your determination to see the resilience in it.

The next time someone tells you to toughen up and you feel that initial sting, you can thank them for reminding you of your sensitive strengths. You can immediately reframe their meaning of “toughen up” to your own heart-centered benefit and toughen up your commitment to loving yourself and your sensitivities, recognizing how incredibly and quietly strong they make you.

Tree Franklyn is the author of The Ultimate Emotional Survival Guide for Empaths and Highly Sensitive Women Who Feel Deeply. You can get her free guide here and learn how to transform your sensitivity into an empowered gift.

Jessica is a passionate write who shares lifestyle tips on Lifehack Read full profile

How to stop feeling hurt

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Ask yourself honestly, “When was the last time I truly felt overwhelmed with happiness, freedom, and gratitude?”

If you can’t remember, then you may be holding on to resentments.

When it comes to dealing with other people, many of us find ourselves helplessly oscillating between anger and fear. We constantly try to find quick fixes to soothe moments of blind rage and alleviate anxious thoughts. However, these “solutions” are usually nothing more than temporary fixes, which allow us to white knuckle it through one more day. Meanwhile, the root of the problem continues to fester and get worse until we can’t even bear to look at it anymore.

But what if you found out that there is a permanent, lasting way to feel less angry and fearful and finally regain control of your emotions?

It’s called letting go of resentment.

Here’s how it works: resentment, anger, and fear are all connected. We become trapped in a self-obsessed cycle of being afraid of the future, angry in the present, and filled with resentment over our past. The antidote to fear is faith, the remedy for anger is love, and the solution to resentment is acceptance.

If you’re part of a 12-step program, [1] this may sound familiar, but it can be applied to anyone’s life.

But first, let’s try to understand what resentment is.

Table of Contents

  1. What is Resentment?
  2. How to Accept What Happened in the Past
  3. 4 Steps to Let Go of Resentment
  4. Final Thoughts
  5. More Tips on Letting Go

What is Resentment?

The best description of resentment I have ever heard came from listening to Dr. Drew from Loveline:

“Resentments are like swallowing poison and expecting the other people to die.”

He was not the first person to say this, but it’s still an incredibly effective way to understand resentment.

In psychology, resentment is when a person has ongoing upset feelings towards another person or place because of a real or imagined injustice.

One of the reasons resentments are so hard to get rid of is because there is so much bad advice floating around out there on how to deal with them. Exasperated friends may tell you to “Just get over it already.” Therapists might tell us to “let it go.” Other people may say “forget about it” or the even more unhelpful, “the past is the past.”

Excuse me, what does any of that generic advice even mean?

I can tell you for sure that you shouldn’t do the following with resentments:

  • Ignore them
  • Fight through them
  • “Lock them in a closet”
  • Pretend you don’t feel them
  • Try and forget them

Instead, you should do these things:

  • Face them
  • Feel them
  • Deal with them
  • Heal from them

“Fake it till you make it” doesn’t work when it comes to deep-seated feelings we have about certain people or situations. But dealing with them is certainly easier said than done.

How to Accept What Happened in the Past

Before you begin to overcome resentments, you should know the following things:

  • It’s a process.
  • It may get worse before it gets better.
  • It requires a great deal of willingness and an open mind.

Resentments are negative feelings that you may have been carrying around for years. During this time, they may have done significant damage to your ability to interact with the world.

I know it sounds dramatic, but these are often big, deep-seated issues. Don’t expect to be able to say a chant and—poof! They’re gone. You should know that you are embarking on a long and probably painful journey, but the destination is completely worth it.

4 Steps to Let Go of Resentment

Okay, here it goes the 4 steps to let go of resentment:

Step 1: Make a list of all the people you have resentments towards

If you do this honestly, then the list should be pretty long.

Include ANYTHING that gives you an automatic negative feeling. You can also include places and institutions (a school you attended, an airport you had a bad experience in) nothing is too trivial or too small.

Step 2: Next to the person’s name, write what they did to cause you to resent them

Again, nothing is too small. If you resent your boss, it may be because that person gives you unreasonable deadlines, or could simply be because you don’t like their hair.

The reason for the resentment doesn’t have to “make sense”—it just has to be honest. This is where it will get hard, and you will feel worse than you did before starting. Try to have faith that the end result will be worth it—because it will be!

Step 3: Now you write what part of your life each resentment affects

If you resent an old teacher who made you feel inferior, you might say that it affects your self-esteem or confidence.

The point is to become acutely aware of the specific ways that the resentment is impacting your identity, and your ability to feel safe, secure, and loved.

Step 4: Next to the reason, or cause for resentment, you are going to write down your part

This is how YOU have contributed to the problem.

Back to our boss example, at this point you’ve established that you resent your boss, that you resent your boss because of unreasonable deadlines. Your part in this problem could be that you never spoke up and asked for less work.

This is where honesty and willingness come in. You must be honest about your part, and willing to admit it. Otherwise, you may get stuck.

Final Thoughts

Now, read from left to right. You should be able to develop a clear picture of who you resent, why you resent them, the negative ways that it affects your life, and the part you played in all of it.

Understanding your resentments by breaking them down will hopefully start the process of evolving from a person who constantly lives in a generalized cycle of resentment, fear, and anger, and help you transition into someone who can identify the source of their feelings and target specific areas they want to work on.

The purpose of this writing assignment is to experience freedom by letting go of secrets, fears, and lies which we have been holding onto, and getting these issues out of our heads, and onto paper.

What is done with the paper afterwards is up to you. Some people choose to share it with a trusted friend, others burn it as a symbolic gesture of surrendering those feelings.

This is a tried and true method adapted from the 12-step program model, which literally ANYONE can do. Unlike expensive therapy, this will cost you nothing, other than the price of a pen and paper. What do you have to lose?

How to stop feeling hurt

For most people, anger stems from hurt feelings, and that hurt usually comes from not being understood. Emotions are very complicated, especially in dealing with love and rejection from our loved ones.

The sting of rejection or not being understood by a person you love is much more hurtful than by someone else. Our emotions and feelings of self-worth are invested in our partners, and often times we see ourselves through their eyes.

Understanding our own emotions is the first step to learning how to stop being angry and to sort out anger from hurt feelings. We sometimes forget that the other person we are feeling hurt or angry towards does not think or feel the same way as us.

This is a common problem between men and women. They just think and react very differently from one another, and miscommunication often leads to hurt feelings on both parts.

When a person gets hurt, many times, instead of the real hurt feeling being said, a person will use a defense word or shut down, not expressing their true feelings. This may go on in a relationship for years with each person harboring hurt feelings, eventually turning into anger and frustration.

After so many years of hurt feelings, it is difficult to get past them. And that is why communication with our partner clearly is so important.

Not saying what a person feels and keeping it inside is a way of communicating to the other person that you don’t care, and it can be just as hurtful as saying something bad. The ideal situation and the one true way to communicate is to speak from your perspective, meaning “this is how I feel” and keep it to that. “No blaming or pointing fingers,” but simply, “This is how it makes me feel.”

You can never argue how the other person feels. Then give the other person a solution to how you feel and ask for what you want — this way you will know exactly where the other person is coming from when they give their response.

For example, “I love you and I want to spend more quality time together with you. I would like to have a date night with you twice a week, can we work on that?”

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This statement is true to what a person feels and is a solution to the problem. This gives the other person clear information that is not threatening or defensive, and is a solution to the problem while asking for what you want.

Don’t allow your hurt feelings to turn into anger. Speak to your loved one and let them know how you feel before it is too late.

Dr. Dawn Michael is a relationship expert, certified sexuality counselor, certified clinical sexologist, author and public speaker. She has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, AskMen, Huffington Post, Shape, eHarmony, PopSugar, PsychCentral, and more.

posted on May 11, 2017 | by Chelsea Becker

How to stop feeling hurt

Can we all agree that hurt feelings are one of the worst emotions EVER? A stranger says something that makes you feel crappy, a family member criticizes your boyfriend, your manager calls you out in an email. We’ve all been there and it sucks!

The thing about feeling this way at work is, relationships in the office are unique. They aren’t usually as comfortable/open as the ones you have with friends or family. Though finding clarity through an awkward situation at work can be plain tricky, these tips should help:

The Golden Rule

Workplace or not, being a kind person goes a long way. Treating everyone how you would want to be treated ends up making life easier because people will naturally like you more. And they’ll want to treat you better! I know I go out of my way not to intentionally hurt someone who I like and respect, don’t you?

Understand that everyone works differently

I worked in an office of 99% men when I first started my career and learned an invaluable lesson: everyone communicates differently—especially men vs. women. If you’re working with guys, you’re less likely to get an email full of emojis or a ton of thank you’s. It’s just not how a lot of dudes operate! No matter who you’re dealing with, remember that everyone works and communicates uniquely. Try not to get upset if you don’t get the response you were planning on in your head.

Build confidence with your manager

I wrote about this recently, but getting a boss on your good side is smart (for a lot of reasons). This doesn’t mean sucking up or constantly nagging them, but make sure your manager knows you’re a superstar. This way, if you ever don’t see eye-to-eye or feel indifferent about a situation, they’ll still know your strong qualities and worth ethic. Remembering that will alleviate some of your anxiety about the situation.

Be open to change

When change happens in the office, especially when it involves your responsibilities, it’s hard not to take it personally. You feel like you messed up so X is happening. You want to ask your manager a million questions. But change happens no matter what, especially in a business. Remembering that these decisions are based on what’s best for the business can help separate your personal feelings from the situation. So try your best o roll with the punches. It will save you a lot of time and tears when it comes to negative feelings.

Get out of your head

Obsessing over the situation that you’re in won’t help you feel any better, just like overthinking anything leads to more stress and anxiety. If you do get upset or down on yourself, try focusing on something else. Go have lunch outside, have drinks with your friends, scream into a pillow, do whatever will relieve stress and let the situation be. And remember, this too shall (and will) pass!

How do you stay away from hurt feelings in the office?
Or in general?