How to recover from a relationship with a sociopath

Sociopaths — meaning people who have antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorder — manipulate and exploit the other people in their lives. Their actions are almost impossible for regular, empathetic folks to understand. Suffice it to say that manipulation, exploitation and abuse are simply normal behaviors for them.

If you are, or were, in a relationship with a sociopath — as a romantic partner, family member, work colleague or neighbor — you have probably been damaged in some way.

Sociopaths typically engage in what has come to be known as “narcissistic abuse.” There is no official or concise definition of narcissistic abuse. One rather circular explanation is that narcissistic abuse is abuse perpetrated by narcissists. Other experts point out that multiple types of disordered individuals — such as antisocials and borderlines — perpetrate narcissistic abuse, not just narcissists.

Reference sources typically describe narcissistic abuse as a pattern of behavior that may include verbal, emotional, psychological, physical, sexual, financial and/or spiritual abuse. Usually, narcissistic abuse is illustrated by examples of specific behaviors.

Examples of narcissistic abuse

Narcissistic abuse is a course of conduct, not a single event. It happens time and time again. The perpetrator may engage in any of the following behaviors.

Narcissistic abuse is described as a defense mechanism. In order to protect their egos, narcissists go on the offensive to hurt, attack or diminish someone else.

Remember, narcissists aren’t the only ones who engage in narcissistic abuse. It’s a standard tactic employed by all sociopaths.

Narcissistic abuse in many types of relationships

Sociopaths, including narcissists, typically abuse, exploit or manipulate all significant people in their lives. Therefore, you could experience narcissistic abuse from a romantic partner, boss or work colleague, or a family member.

Narcissistic abuse is particularly damaging in families. In her Lovefraud webinar, Understanding Narcissistic Abuse, Tiffany Kettermann, LPC, CADCI, explains:

Narcissistic parents may speak of “maintaining the family image,” or “making mom or dad proud,” and may reject their children for showing “weakness,” “being too dramatic,” or not meeting the standard of “what is expected.” As a result, children of narcissists learn to “play their part” and to “perform their special skill,” especially in public or for others.

Children in these situations become extremely sensitive to their parents, giving up their own needs and wants in order to serve the parents’ need for self-esteem. When these children grow up, the pattern can continue — as adults, they continue to put everyone else before themselves.

If you have endured narcissistic abuse as a child or later in your life, you may be carrying deep internal wounds from the experience. These wounds make you vulnerable to sociopaths.

Therefore, it is absolutely essential for you to take steps to heal your wounds.

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How to recover from a relationship with a sociopath

Congrats, you’ve survived a relationship with a narcissist.

Getting out of—and, better yet, getting over—any romantic relationship can be a total nightmare. But it’s a whole different, er, monster when you’re breaking up with a narcissist, a sociopath, or a combination of both. This was no ordinary relationship; therefore, it’s no ordinary path to recovery. “You realize that the relationship felt real to you, but the [other person] faked it the entire time,” says Andrea Schneider, LCSW, author of Soul Vampires: Reclaiming Your Lifeblood After Narcissistic Abuse. “You’ve been in love with a pretend person. That reality is absolutely devastating.”

“You’ve been in love with a pretend person. That reality is absolutely devastating.”

“It’s the same grief as any loss, but on top of that are all the layers of trauma responses: What was real and what was fake?” adds Bree Bonchay, LCSW, author of I Am Free: Healing Stories About Surviving Toxic Relationships With Narcissists And Sociopaths. “That’s why it takes so much longer to heal. There are so many other things you have to process and go through. Coming out of a relationship with a pathological person can change your fundamental sense of safety in this world.”

But it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. As someone whose life fell apart at the masterful hand of a charming sociopath, I can tell you I was able to not only build it back up, but become a happier, healthier, and stronger version of myself than I could have ever imagined. Yeah, your heart and mind might feel like they are broken beyond repair right now. But I promise, it’s worth the fight.

Read on for 4 healing strategies you can use after breaking up with a narcissist or sociopath.

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopathPhoto: Stocksy/Milles Studio

1. Find a support team

Unlike with most breakups, you are bonded to a narcissistic or sociopathic abuser through trauma—that’s what makes moving on so damn hard. And because of this, you’re extra susceptible to anxiety, depression, and even PTSD.

And the science behind trauma explains why your heart and mind feel like they are broken beyond repair: “Trauma is trapped in a different part of the brain that doesn’t use reason, it doesn’t use logic, it doesn’t use language,” Bonchay explains, adding that it takes certain practices to “get that trauma unstuck.” This is why you should start your healing process by finding a reputable and respected therapist, counselor, or life coach who specifically treats relationship trauma inflicted by someone with a personality disorder.

“Trauma is trapped in a different part of the brain that doesn’t use reason, it doesn’t use logic, it doesn’t use language.”

Both Bonchay and Schneider also suggest educating yourself on what, exactly, narcissistic sociopath abuse is. (I’m a personal fan of Jackson Mackenzie’s Psychopath Free and Shahida Arabi’s Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare.)

And while you may be tempted to isolate yourself—after all, you wonder if you can trust anyone right now—both therapists emphasize how crucial it is to keep yourself open to the right people. Seek out support groups and friends who can help guide you through this difficult time.

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopathPhoto: Stocksy/Jayme Burrows

2. Double down on self-care

Self-care is a must for any kind of healing, and you should make it an absolute priority after ending things with an abuser. Schneider recommends “anything that’s good for mind, body, and spirit—and anything that will help to release tension.”

Try to schedule in time each day for some kind of restorative practice, such as exercise, meditation, acupuncture, aromatherapy, breathwork, or journaling. And, of course, getting good sleep and sticking to a healthy diet (whole foods, less processed “junk”—you know the drill) are also key parts of any self-care plan. “Fortifying the basics to stabilize depression is absolutely paramount,” says Schneider.

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopathPhoto: Stocksy/Branislav Jovanovic

3. Delete your ex’s number—and block them on social

The key to all of this working is a complete break in contact with your abuser. Stalking their Insta stories will only leave you stuck in a continual pain loop–especially if they’re already loved-up with someone else (AKA their next target).

“When the relationship ends and they look happy with someone else, you are conditioned to think, ‘It must have been me,'” Bonchay says. “But all of these narratives were put in your head. The next relationship isn’t going to fix them. It’s a persistent and pervasive disorder.”

So stand firm in your own no-contact rules—block their social media pages, delete their phone number, whatever it takes. “Make sure your door [to your abuser] isn’t just locked,” Schneider says, “it’s dead bolted.” Of course, if there are children involved or you work with the person, it’s a little more complicated. But in such cases, Bonchay and Schneider suggest limiting your contact to when it’s absolutely necessary.

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopathPhoto: Stocksy/Nick Bondarev

4. Be patient with the process

Recovering from abuse at the skilled and heartless hands of a narcissistic sociopath isn’t an overnight fix, and you’re bound to have days (and sometimes weeks or months) where you ruminate and fall back into old habits. That’s fine—you’re only human.

“It’s so common to have moments of sentimentality and wistfulness,” Schneider says. “Be glad you have the capacity to love.”

Paula Carrasquillo, a mindfulness coach and author of Escaping the Boy: My Life with a Sociopath, says that you’re not armoring yourself during this process, so much as “building, creating, and nurturing who you are and letting your higher self guide you.”

And while no one wants to experience such a horrible trauma, know that there may be a silver lining: Follow these tips and you’ll likely come out knowing how to create healthy boundaries with others, leaving yourself open to wonderful, authentic relationships. (Including the one you have with yourself.)

Not sure if your relationship is healthy? You could start by looking at your text message history—or just let your intuition show you the answer.

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopathFinally, you realize what is wrong with your romantic partner: He or she is a sociopath.

Finally, the behavior that was so confusing makes sense. The person you loved, and who you thought loved you, has a personality disorder. Now you realize that anything your partner told you could have been a lie. Now you know why your partner could be so cruel, then tell you how much he or she loved you, practically in the same breath. Now you realize that there never was any love, that your entire relationship was exploitation, and nothing more.

Now what do you do? How do you move forward? How do you recover?

Many of your friends and family tell you, “Just put it behind you. Get over it. Move on.” You are particularly likely to hear this advice if you were “only” dating the person, not married.

The friends and family dispensing this pithy advice probably were never involved with a sociopath. They don’t understand the depth of the betrayal. When you split from a sociopath, it is not a normal breakup. The intensity of these relationships makes the end incredibly painful.

Here are five steps for true recovery. This process is not instant, and it will likely be painful, but a new, much healthier you is waiting on the other side.

1 . Understand that this relationship is an addiction

The sociopath initiated this intensity in the beginning of the relationship by showering you with attention, wanting to be with you all the time, claiming that you were soul mates, and painting a glimmering picture of your future together. You, never having experienced such adoration, believed that he or she was head over heels in love with you. Even if you felt misgivings, you suppressed them and focused on the promise of happily ever after.

You can’t do this all at once—it’s too draining, and you still have to live your life. In fact, you should intersperse these sessions of releasing with times of treating yourself well, and feeling joy at whatever goodness you experience, no matter how small.

True recovery isn’t easy, fun or instant—it takes work and a commitment to yourself. But the rewards are so wonderful: Release from old traumas. Life lived with peace and lightness. The opportunity for true love and happiness.

It all begins with making a decision to recover.

Lovefraud originally published this article on July 30, 2012.

I met him a year ago. He told me he was separated. She lived in another state. I don’t even know where to begin. It’s awful. He was wonderful. I thought she was awful. Slowly, things began to change. She returned. The lies began. He said he was in a coma for two months during the war. He wasn’t. He said she was crazy. Sure! We both are! He was hiring prostitutes, addicted to pornography, and eventually became physically abusive. So, let’s go back to her “return” she never left… she was staying with her mother. I asked to see the divorce papers. He kept making excuses. He switched so quickly. He went from charming, dinners, movies, cards, and gifts to Ted Bundy. I became suicidal. I would drive by his house and try to figure it all out. He was never there. When he told me he was out of town for work I guess he was with her at their second home? When he told her he was out of town for work he was with me. I thought I was losing my mind. I have been divorced for six years and he is the only man who has met my girls and my own mother! I believed everything! One night, I followed him. He was in a hotel with another woman. I almost threw up. Finally, I found a way to contact his wife. We stayed on the phone for hours. She is too far gone to escape him. She asked me if I thought I was the first. I said I guess not. I won’t be the last either. I told her everything. He told her I was just a friend and we just held hands! He said he was being kind to me because my ex had molested our daughters (so sick and untrue), he told her I was trash and that I would beat her up. I just could not believe what was happening. I still cannot fathom any of this. Who is he? Who? How did he fake this for so long? I messed up. I was also conned. He’s a con artist. I started snooping. I found 10 fake Facebook accounts. 8 Twitter accounts and could not believe the trash on there. I feel like the bottom has dropped out. His wife actually thanked me. Thanked me? For being the first one to have the guts to tell her? Well, Of course I did! I needed help. I needed to know. He told me she had cancer. She doesn’t. He told me he had cancer. He doesn’t. I mean it goes on and on and on. He broke into my house – twice. I’ve already been to the police … twice. So I find a friend who is just a friend right? They found him in a ditch nearly bludgeoned to death. He lived. There is no proof that he did it but I truly believe he did! The police do also. I don’t know who he is. I was so duped. I cannot believe that even still I have the trauma bond. I am in NO CONTACT. I won’t ever go back but my heart is totally broken. My soul has been robbed. I feel sorry for her too. After we got out our journals and shared notes … it all came tumbling out. The lies, deceit. One more thing… he said they were seeing a divorce attorney. She told me they were in marriage counseling. Apparently he has women all over the country! I just don’t know. I know I need help. Thank you for reading.

mary2 – OMG what a terrible story. I am so sorry for what you have endured. But I am very glad that you had the courage to contact his wife and learn the truth.

The man is definitely a sociopath. Everything he did is right out of the sociopath playbook. And, everything he did was INTENTIONAL. He knew he was lying. He knew that he was manipulating you. He knew he was hurting you. He wanted to do it.

Please know this: NOTHING you could have done would have made him treat you any better. He is what he is, and he does what he does.

Still, for you it is devastating. Your love was real. Your intentions where honorable. So now, you are heartbroken.

I’m glad you found this particular article on Lovefraud – it points the way forward. We have lots of other information that will help you as well. Keep looking around. And keep posting – it helps to share.

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopathImage courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Lovefraud recently received the following email:

I suspected that my ex boyfriend was a sociopath, but your website confirmed it. I always thought that sociopaths were murderers like Ted Bundy or Casey Anthony, but I realize now that the vast majority lead “normal” lives (whatever that means).

I’m a divorced mom with a precious little daughter. My ex boyfriend was the first man I dated after a long and abusive marriage to an alcoholic. I was with my ex boyfriend a little over 2 years, although he exhibited signs of sociopathic (or what I considered narcissistic) behavior, including chronic infidelity, pathological lying, a grandiose sense of self, a total lack of empathy (particularly towards his five children whom he rarely saw), a lack of responsibility, impulsivity, etc. You get the picture.

Fortunately, he didn’t bilk me out of money, but, unfortunately, he completely drained me emotionally to the point where I feel like I will never be able to find or love a truly good, healthy man. I am a strong woman, though, and I know this feeling will subside over time. After reading through your website, I’m 100% positive I will never see or speak to my ex boyfriend again.

The last time I saw him, he told me he was going on a secret mission trip and that he could not talk to me for at least two weeks, but that he would spend the holidays with me. I threw him out of my apartment that night, but I continued to email him while he was away on his important, “James Bond” business trip. To make a long story short, I found out that he was with another woman in a foreign country. I was not surprised by this discovery and, perhaps, it is a blessing in disguise that I found out. It strengthened my resolve to have no contact with him, as your website suggests.

My question to you is how do I forgive myself for staying in this relationship so long even though I routinely saw the signs of his sociopathic behavior? Most importantly, how do I forgive myself for putting my daughter in harm’s way by being with this creep? Finally, would it be best if I stayed away from dating for a period of time so that I can clear my brain of this whole ordeal?

I’ll address the reader’s questions one at a time.

How do I forgive myself?

We cannot blame ourselves for what we didn’t know. And all of us who have been targeted didn’t know about sociopaths, about what they really are and how they really behave.

A sociopath is someone with a personality disorder. There have been a number of cases where either a boy or a girl falls into prey to such psychotic people in a relationship and the result is for more disturbing and stupefying than it is generally portrayed. Sociopaths generally fail to live within the set of norms set by our society and culture and often prove them to be a huge danger for those who are close and to them and unaware of their disease. They repeatedly lie and manipulate people, mostly for their own gain and cause severe misunderstandings in a relationship causing a massive psychological disorder in the minds of the people. If you have been in a relationship with a sociopath, you need to break up, isolate yourself from them, give yourself time and seek therapy.

The following steps need to be undertaken by those who are/were in a relationship with a sociopath:

1) Break up with that person:

This is the first step that needs to be done. You need to break up and completely isolate yourself from that person. You need to understand that you are a victim in this case and further ties with that person may impart an irreversible damage to your health and state of mind. You need to get it into your mind that this relationship is not your fault and you need to forget the person as soon as possible, for your well-being.

Post break-up you can find a therapist who understands and treats sociopath persons. You need to let your therapist know about everything. The therapist in turn will help you to move on. You can also look out for groups or societies where similar victims share their experiences. You can also do the same. It will serve as a catalyst in getting you over that person.

3) Give yourself time to heal:

It will take some time to get over this shocker. You just need time to relax and let things go. Spend time with friends and family members. Go to camps and try to engage yourself in various activities. At the same time, make it sure that the sociopath person doesn’t come in contact with you anyhow. Be patient.

4) Be careful next time:

After you get over someone who is psychotic, make sure that your next partner is normal. You should choose wisely. He/she should not only be good looking but should be mentally sound too and should have a good character. You may avoid dating someone out of fear but you should not lose hope and faith in yourself. Take your next relationship very slowly and get to know the person before starting any relationship with him.

1) The important thing is not to get involved with a sociopath a gain. A sociopath lies constantly, doesn’t feel guilt, doesn’t love and has impulsive and manipulative behaviors. So, if you see someone with the following traits, make sure you avoid the person as much as possible.

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recognize and survive a relationship with a narcissist, a sociopath, a con man, a pathological predatory user

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopath

Weeping in despair, grief. Confusion.
A shattered life. Depression and self doubt. Isolation.
This heap of feelings and thoughts and questions
are the beginning of restoration.

We do heal even though PTSD after a sociopath or what many call a narcissist is terror others around can’t us usually can’t understand… we might not understand it ourselves.

You owe it to yourself to realize what this PTSD is, how it shows up, how to heal and rebalance yourself, and that it’s okay to be in a sate of post truama so that we can restore our gorgeous selves.

Altogether it’s loneliness and fears and doubts that are not the new you but can seem like it. There are many signs of PTSD, but the initial stages are most described by one word.

PTSD and Broken is Not the New You

Medications, Alcohol, and Drugs

During PTSD after a sociopath, we’re likely to look to different kinds of alleviation… including alcohol, weed or other drugs to handle the shock, overwhelm mind-blowing stress and trauma.

Even non-drinkers dive in for a glass or two of wine – or vodka – in the months of PTSD after a sociopath. – I did and my previous norm was a drink three times a year.

If you have a tendency to overuse alcohol or any substance you will surely find yourself out of control in PTSD after a sociopath. Take care.

Sad, Mad, Crying, Shaking

Acknowledge the sadness. When the weeping comes, let it. Say, “Hello despair. Leave your boots on, you won’t be staying long.” Giving a name to, and a nod to our emotions eases their sting and brings comfort and relief.

Remind ourselves when we sigh oh, so heavily for the 37th time in one day: “I feel sad right now. That’s okay. I’ll feel better later.”

Physical, Mental, Spiritual, Emotional Care are on the PTSD Recovery Menu

Give yourself as much care as you can. Massage, yoga, meditation, renewed faith, or a new faith. Keep in mind dating isn’t a recovery method and dating after dating a sociopath is for later. Much later.

No One Robs An Empty House: We Are Awesome

We are awesome, amazing, loyal, smart, magnanimous women, and men, that’s why the predatory sociopath targeted us to cast their spell upon. They needed our power to do their bidding.

Those same admirable humanistic traits and deep values they need to borrow to prop up their fake lives are what we use to see behind the mask. It is us who set ourselves free.

As normal, regular gorgeous inside and out humans, we’re supportive and forgiving, we hold humanity in high regard – some of the best of the best are the prey of sociopaths. Celebrate how wonderful we are.

There’s a way out of the labyrinth of hell. It is you. It is our inner beauty, strength, kindness, and compassion… shine them on ourselves. Embrace your life. You are awesome.

recognize and survive a relationship with a narcissist, a sociopath, a con man, a pathological predatory user

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopath

Closure with a sociopath
isn’t something to hold our breath over.
So many of us crave closure; an apology.
An explanation. An end to the ending.

This is a guest post by a true love scam recovery reader. she decided to write the apology she wanted from him. She shares that letter here… Here’s what she wrote for herself, to free herself with her own apology — the one that will never come from a sociopath – and if it does – they’re lying.

The Imaginary Apology from the Lying Sociopath

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopath

From E.R. to us: This is the apology letter I wrote to him, right after my break down. I sent it to him, asking him to read it to me. He never did. Instead, I gave him another 6 months to hurt me. It’s hard to accept that I still have loving feelings for someone who only hurt me. I think I just need some time.

I’m so sorry for the pain I caused you. I did not think of the consequences to you from my actions and my choices.

I couldn’t lose your help, so I kept hiding secrets to keep you around. I’m sorry. I thought you’d never know certain things and that it would be enough for you to be happy. I’m sorry I pushed this too far.

I apologize for everything I did and still do to you.

I apologize for hiding that I had a FB account, the first lie you found out and forgave.

I apologize for rejecting you many times as a friend on my FB after you found out.
I apologize for hitting on Sandra in front of your eyes and for not admitting it.
I apologize for asking you for money.
I apologize for promising I would pay you back when I knew I would never do that.
I apologize for forgetting your birthday.
I apologize for switching off my phone without caring about you.
I apologize for cheating on you with Pauline.
I apologize for telling her exactly the same things I said to you.
I apologize for making plans for the future with her while I was with you.
I apologize for putting pressure on you to bring me to Europe – and then…
I apologize for canceling after you planned the trip so I could be with Brie.
I apologize for cheating on you with Ava.
I apologize for cheating on you with all the women I never told you about.
I apologize for making you beg me for answers I should have begged you to listen to.
I apologize for making you look like a fool with everyone who saw me with other girls.
I apologize for not using condoms and giving you two diseases.
I apologize for teasing you about your body shape.
I apologize for promising you many times that I would change.
I apologize for what I did with Kate.
I apologize for bringing her to your home.
I apologize for contacting Rosanna and hiding it from you.
I apologize for not giving you the attention and love you deserve.
I apologize for wasting two years of your life waiting for love I do not feel and cannot give.
I apologize for blaming you for my troubled life.
I apologize for sucking up your savings.
I apologize for not celebrating your birthday.
I apologize for never buying you a present, flower to show appreciation for you.
I apologize for searching for Ava again as soon as you left.
I apologize for saying that I am single.
I apologize for chatting and for texting with girls in an intimate way.
I apologize for Marilyn.
I apologize for letting you live my lie.
I apologize for not being the man I told you I was.
I apologize for not having the strength to be there for you now.
I apologize for leaving you behind with such pain in your heart.
I apologize for contacting Pauline again yesterday.
I apologize for manipulating you and playing with your vulnerability.
I apologize for blaming your pain on you and telling you that you enjoy feeling like a victim.
I apologize for moving on so fast and so easy.
I apologize for telling you that I loved you.
I apologize for making you fall in love in with me.
I apologize for not being able to change for you.
I apologize for not writing this letter myself.

I apologize, Sheldon

Thank you E.R. for sharing the rough steps along the way of healing.

We End It: They Don’t

Sociopaths offer no closure. They are unable to love and have no feelings of remorse. An apology is something they will never make. They feel no regret, shame, or guilt. There’s only one thing they’re sorry for: that they didn’t get more from us. Closure is ours to find.

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopath

You’ve broken up with your partner. You know this person treated you badly, cheated on you and took advantage of your good nature. In fact, you now believe he or she is a sociopath. So why are you still in love? Why is it so hard to get over loving a sociopath?

Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com, explains that it’s not love that you feel — it’s addiction. Scientists believe that all romantic love is addictive. But because of how sociopaths hijack the human bonding system, involvement with these disordered individuals is even more addictive.

Donna presents the three steps of breaking the hold that your ex has on you and moving on with your life. You’ll learn the truth behind your relationship with the sociopath, how to overcome the obsession that you feel, and how to process the emotional pain. Donna will also answer your questions.

No matter how broken-hearted you feel after dating a sociopath, it’s possible to recover. With this webinar, you’ll learn how.

Highlights

  • Why all romantic love is an addiction
  • Why the addiction to sociopaths is worse than a normal relationship
  • 12 facts you must believe about your involvement with the sociopath
  • How to break your obsession with the sociopath
  • How to heal your deep emotional pain

About the instructor

How to recover from a relationship with a sociopathDonna Andersen is author of Lovefraud.com, a website that teaches people to recognize and recover from sociopaths. She is also author of Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath and the Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook.

Donna learned about sociopaths the hard way—by marrying one. She tells the whole outrageous story in her first book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.

Donna has collected more than 10,000 cases of people targeted by sociopaths, and has conducted eight Internet surveys of survivors. She has presented her research on sociopaths to the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy. Donna is the program administrator for Lovefraud CE, which offers continuing education about personality disorders for survivors and mental health professionals.

Donna has appeared on television shows including ABC News 20/20, Who the Bleep Did I Marry?, My Life is a Lifetime Movie, Handsome Devils, Urban Legends and The Ricki Lake Show. She has been interviewed for multiple radio shows, print articles and web posts.

Many Lovefraud readers thank Donna for saving their lives.

Cost and credits

The cost for this course is only $25 for 90 minutes — 60 minutes of instruction and 30 minutes of questions and answers from the original presentation. Once you purchase the course, you can access it online as long and as often as you want. All Lovefraud webinars are 100% guaranteed.

Although this course does not award continuing education credits, you will be able to download a certificate of achievement upon completion.

Learning objectives

After this course, you should be able to:

  • Know why you still want your partner, even though he or she is bad for you
  • Understand the reality of your involvement with your disordered partner
  • Take steps to overcome your addiction to the sociopath
  • Implement No Contact to get your partner out of your life
  • Begin healing your internal pain, so you can recover from the experience

Program agenda

60 minutes instruction

  • Goals in recovery from dating a sociopath
  • What is a sociopath?
  • Feelings of falling in love
    • Love is a motivation system
    • Romantic love is addictive
    • Romantic rejection
    • Your brain in love
    • Biology of trust
    • Abuse, fear and anxiety
    • Intermittent reinforcement
    • Hijacking our bonding system
    • 12 facts you must believe
    • Think of sociopaths as aliens
    • Change your worldview
    • Establishing No Contact
    • Treat it as an addiction
    • Happy with the next partner?
    • Manage your obsession
    • EFT Tapping
    • Notice your feelings
    • Deep emotional healing
    • Connection to earlier pain
    • Betrayal trauma
    • Releasing the well of pain
    • Looking for joy
    • The silver lining

    5 minutes of questions and answers

    Here’s a preview of this webinar:

    Why is it hard to get over loving a sociopath — even though you believe this person is bad for you? Because sociopaths hijack the human bonding system. Here’s how to break your obsession, recover emotionally and move on with your life.

    Customer reviews

    Gia (verified owner) – August 23, 2021

    Verified review – view original

    I needed this information so much. It is so hard to get through this. No one seems to be able to help… not my counselor, or my friends. Thank heavens for Donna from Lovefraud. Her podcasts, webinars and words of wisdom are immeasurable and her voice is soothing. Thank you Donna for all that you do for us.