How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

The only way to make your girlfriend want you more, is to show her that you are able to give her want she needs. Knowing that you are capabale of giving her everything she desires, makes you the perfect boyfriend. However, most guys make one of these mistake, which will slowly but surely make her loose interest in you.

1. Mistake: Not giving her everything she needs

Humans are lazy, we only do what’s necessary, so why should you make an effort and invest in a girl, if she is already your girlfriend? Because 90% of all relationships don’t last. Even 50% of all mariaged couples get divorced, mostly from the women. So if you really love your girlfriend and want to keep her, start investing in your relationship and give her what she needs!

2. Mistake: Giving her everything she wants, instead of what she needs

A lot of guys are putting effort into the relationship, but it still doesn’t work out. The problem is that they don’t really know what women need. So the easiest way to find it out is to listen to what she says that she wants. But it’s common that women themselves don’t even know what they need, so the things that she seemingly wants are most of the time the wrong things. I’m sure you know or heard of a nice guy, who does everything for his girl and she still threads him like trash. It’s because he doesn’t give her the right things, don’t be that guy and give her what she needs.

3. Mistake: Constantly giving her everything she needs

In a second I’ll tell you what she really needs. If you manage to give her all of that, your relationship will be much more stable and your girlfriend will be happy. However, if you want to take it further and make her addicted to you, then you should only give her what she needs, when she deserves it. That means if she behaves badly, acts bitchy, cold or rude, then you withdraw your efforts until she is lovable again. On the other hand, when she is cute and adorable, you increase the effort.

How to give your girlfriend what she NEEDS

There are two core desires that every girl (who is girlfriend-material) has in a relationship. These are also the main reasons why girls want to have a relationship. It’s the feeling of being safe and appriciated, all other desires are variations of these two.

You make her feel safe by:

1. Being loyal: She knows that she can always trust and count on you. Be a man of his word and keep your promises. Don’t lie to her, be honest and authentic.

2. Having boundaries: Let her know what you expect from her and the relationship. If she crosses your boundaries, put her back in place. In the long run, she will respect you for this, because it shows that you have a backbone and you’re not a wussy.

3. Being able to lead her: Take responsibility, have an opinion and guide her. Choose where to sit in a restaurant, have date ideas and never use the sentence “I don’t know, what do you want?”.

4. Being able to handle problems: Do you know why women act crazy sometimes and make drama? It’s because subconsciously they simulate an extrem situation and want to see how you handle it. If you loose your cool, it shows that you will also freak out if a bigger problem appears. Stay calm and handle the drama or any other problems with patience, so she will feel safe with you.

You make her feel appriciated by:

1. Giving her emotions: Why do you always see a big crowd of people when an accident happens? Why do people watch news, pranks, fails or even cat videos? Because their lifes are so booring! They desperatly want to feel something. So make her the gift of emotions, preferably positive emotions mixed with excitement. The best way to do that is by making her little surprises from time to time. Take her on an adventure or buy her something she likes, when she doesn’t expect it.

2. Paying attention: Listen to what she has to tell you, even if it might sound needless sometimes. Men talk to deliver informations, while women talk to deliver feelings. She wants you to take part of her life. Also try to notice when she changes something about her appearance, we often overlook the little details. She will appriciate your observations and compliments.

3. Spending Quality Time: After a long day at work you just want to relax, cuddle on the couch and watch some Movies. That’s perfectly fine but now and then it’s important to break the routine before it becomes booring. Try one of these romantic date night ideas which don’t take much effort and are even great for rainy days at home.

4. Telling her that you care: There are many variations of telling your girlfriend that you truly care about her and you should verbalize it at least once a week. Make it a habit to say cute things to her like “I love you; I’m happy to be with you, I’m proud of you; I’m glad I’ve found you; I’ll be there for you; I’ll help you; I miss you; I love spending time with you; You complete me; These are just some examples to let her know that you care about her and your relationship.

5. Making her feel special: Words are just empty air, if your actions don’t follow. You can tell her whatever you want, but she will only start believing that you really mean it, if you also show it to her visually. Here are some ideas how to make her feel special:

  • Suprise her with nice gestures like her favorite flowers or a bubble bath with scented candles or rose petals.
  • Help her relax by doing some housework for her so when she comes from her job you can spend more time together.
  • If you got time and talent, try to make a personal DIY gift with some creativity and your hands.
  • Buy her a romantic gift which is personal and unique like having something custom engraved.

How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

OK guys, stop all your whining and complaining for a second and listen up: If you want more sex from your wives, you have to grow up and recognize that people change, relationships change, and your sex life doesn’t stay the same.

As a sexologist, relationship expert, and contributor to Good in Bed, the one question I’m constantly asked is: “How can I get my wife to have more sex with me?” Well, I also happen to be a wife and mother of two little ones, so I’m going to give it to you straight. Here’s my advice for not screwing it up and actually getting some tonight:

1. Snuggle, Don’t Grope. You’re in the mood, so you reach out and grab us—our breasts, butt, or genitals, that is. Guys, believe me when I tell you that this is the biggest sin you can commit when trying to seduce a woman. It will not send us into an orgasmic swoon. (And, hey, if it does, you don’t need my advice, right?). Neither will groping us in the kitchen while we’re unloading the dishwasher.

These inept moves don’t get us all hot and bothered — they just upset us. Try hugging or kissing. Hold and squeeze our hand. Unload the dishwasher yourself. Women want to feel connected to our partners—in ways that don’t always involve sex.

As guys, you see something sexy and suddenly you’re in the mood for sex, ready to go. You pick up the mail, there’s a Victoria Secret catalog in the box, and next thing we know you’re sniffing in our direction like a dog expecting a treat. But women don’t work like that. We may see something that’s sexy, and that something may even be you, but we don’t suddenly want to have sex. That’s where men and women differ: You have to actually put us in the mood. You have to make us feel sexy and make us want to be sexual.

Here’s a tip: Did you know that studies show that if you hug for partner for 30 seconds it raises her oxytocin levels? Oxytocin is a hormone that makes us feel loving and connected and helps put us in the mood. So start with a hug.

2. Don’t Treat Us Like Porn Stars. Just because you can pay to watch a chick with fake boobs and a fake tan fawn all over some hairy, grunting guy doesn’t mean you can treat us like some 30-second money shot. Women crave seduction. We crave pleasure. We want sex to be, well, sexy, not like some third-rate porn production. I’m not saying you won’t get those little surprise treats now and then—but you’ve got to work for them. Luckily, the brain is our biggest sex organ, and most women have fantasy lives that leave your porn sites in the dust. You know one of the reasons why women aren’t more into porn? Because almost all of it is created by men and for men, who don’t have a clue about what really turns a woman on. Wanna know what does turn us on? Ask us, engage us. Which brings me to…

2. Do Unto Others. Want hot sex? You have to provide us with the kind of sex we want to have. Simply put, you’ve got to give as good as you get. Do I need to spell it out for you? If you want us to use our mouths, you have to use yours, too! And if you do it first? All the better. Most women orgasm best from clitoral stimulation.

4. Give Us Space. It seems counterintuitive, but letting your partner have some time to herself can help her recharge. Offer to watch the kids for a few hours so she can meet a friend for coffee, take a book to the beach, or relax in a bubble bath. This “time off” lets her wind down so that later she’ll be ready to heat up. And by the way, watching your kids isn’t “babysitting”. They’re your children—play with them like you mean it. Be a dad, not a bachelor. Remember, a lot of us find nothing sexier than a dad who’s into his kids.

5. Talk—and Listen. I know, I know: Many of you would probably rather clean that toilet than be forced to “communicate.” But I’m not asking for an hours-long heart-to-heart here. Spending 20 minutes connecting with your partner and listening to her talk can help her feel appreciated. Avoid stressful topics like your kids, work, and home and stick to larger issues like current events and the world around you. Respond with full sentences, not grunts. If you can remember and repeat something she said 12 hours later, she’ll be impressed—and you’ll be one step closer to sex.

Want more tips? I’ll be answering your questions all week at Good in Bed.

How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

When we’re first in love, we’re practically dizzy, and it feels so good. It isn’t just the act of getting off that keeps us enraptured. There’s also the longing for another that cuts the “six-inch valley in the middle of our skulls” (Springsteen.) The chase is almost better than the catch. The smallest touch turns both of you on.

Everyone remembers this exquisite torture, and no one wants to live without it. Desire is relationship cocaine.

We commit to someone because we want to feel safe emotionally and to hoard our lover sexually. We think sex will grow in frequency and quality. Yet within two years, 20 percent of all marriages end up sexless (less than 10 times a year) and an additional 15 percent become low-sex (less than 25 times a year)*. Skipping the wedding ceremony doesn’t change this outcome. One in every three committed couples is barely having sex. Why is our addiction to desire so sadly curable?

Here’s what causes the change and how to reclaim sex with your partner:

In every relationship, after the initial period of having sex all the time, we start wanting to come up for air. We remind ourselves of our separateness and authority over our own bodies. We become afraid that this orgasmic swamp will bog down the direction and purpose of our own lives. Lovers may fantasize that they will only leave the bed to eat or pee, but at some point, they find they must accomplish something else for sanity’s sake. After some time together, our need for merger is counterbalanced by our need for productivity and individuality. Freud said love and work are necessary for happiness, and indeed we find ourselves toggling between the demands of these two poles.

Early in the love affair, we suddenly understand our emotional vulnerability. The other person could leave us or control us. Something terrible could happen to him or her. We’ve jeopardized our hearts by wanting sex. Worse, our partner has seen us lose all control when we climax. Our exposure to them frightens us. Throw in a culture that esteems independence and, for some of us, childhoods where we concluded that our needs were bad because they overwhelmed our parents, and sexual desire begins to feel like weakness. Fantasizing about other potential partners or repressing out sex drives are ways we may try to dilute the power desire has over us and reduce the accompanying risk. Withdrawing makes us less dependent on our pusher.

Sex gets caught in a power struggle between the need for connection and the wish for space, though both partners want a balance between these poles. In a long-term relationship, however, one partner will seem the hungrier and more insistent about one end of the dynamic. The pursuer is concerned with connection, talking, time together, security, family; he or she needs reassurance of being loved and wants intensity inside the relationship. The distancer seems focused on freedom, time away, adventure, work; this partner wants to be trusted for his or her intentions and gets intensity outside the relationship. The couple might switch their favored side, however, when it comes to sex. For instance, a male emotional distancer absorbed in his career may want connection in bed. His female partner who pesters him about what he’s feeling may never want to make love. While their roles change, the distance between them stays constant. The partners move like opposing magnets, chasing and running away. Often the pursuer feels starved and the distancer feels crowded. In therapy, a sexual distancer may argue that their partner, “never gives me a chance to initiate because he/she is always asking for it.”

Couples claim their busy lives have crowded out sex. Parents of young children won’t lock their bedroom door for even an hour to prioritize their intimate needs above the family. Menopausal women and men with erectile dysfunction conclude their bodies don’t work and give up touching. But psychologically, the real issue is freeing sex from the tension of the partner struggle so that it can once again renew their love, soothe their anxieties, and exhilarate their bodies. How can we do that?

If you’re a sexual pursuer:

  1. Imagine your partner is having a mirror experience in the relationship. If you feel starved sexually, your partner probably feels starved in some other way. Confront yourself about the ways you deny your partner. They need more help with routine duties? Come home one night each week with your sleeves rolled up. They feel pestered by your sexual demands? Ask for a quickie, and accept that sometimes your partner may give to you out of love and not from craving.

If you’re a sexual distancer:

  1. Initiate. A client went home from therapy straight to a vacation, ready to tell her husband they would romp as soon as they got to the hotel. He suggested they do it before they left the house. Her plan usurped, she gave up. Don’t give up. Find a way to beat your partner to the punch. Text in the morning about your naughty plans. Plan bath time, wine and appetizers, whatever you need to turn yourself on.

*Source: Michael, R., Gagnon, J., Laumann, E., & Kalota, G. (1994) Sex in America – A Definitive Study. Little, Brown.

How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

Do you wish your partner would grab you by the hair and have their way with you? You probably do, because being dominated in bed is, according to research, one of the most popular fantasies for women (and men). But maybe you’re worried it’s anti-feminist to want to be submissive in bed. Well, you can stop feeling bad about it right now. Feminism is about having control over your own sex life, and if you want to exercise that control by asking your partner to take control, that’s just fine.

Here’s how to entice your partner into dominating you without making it weird.

1. Figure out what you’re really into. All domination is about power and control, but beyond that, it can mean anything from a slightly rougher-than-normal sex session to bondage, rubber, or role-playing as a naughty schoolgirl who needs a spanking. So: What does domination mean to you? Decide what you want before you ask.

2. Research your fantasies. Read some sexy stories, or write one of your own for your partner. Porn can help, but be aware that it’s pretty much always inaccurate in regards to real sex and kink. For practical, real world ideas, try reading The New Bottoming Book — a clear guide on all kinds of kink from the point of view of people who, like you, want to be dominated. You can also join the informative discussions on FetLife, the largest kinky social networking website.

3. When telling your partner about your fantasies, be to the point and sexxxy. Between your ears, your fantasies are often pretty murky and nonverbal, so when you explain them to your partner, it’s best to share a few clear ideas in as sexy and exciting a way as possible. Say something like, “When you grab a big bunch of my hair and pull me in to suck on you, it makes me so horny.” Or, “Spanking me over your knee would get me so wet.”

4. Work something you know they like into it. What better way to encourage your partner into dominating you than including some of their favorite sex things? If you want your partner to tie you up and you know they love blow jobs, tell them how much you would like it if they tied you to the bed, knelt over you, and made you suck for ages.

5. Assure them that they’re not being a jerk. If they’re worried that taking control is dangerous or morally wrong, the magic key is to talk about consent. You enthusiastically want your partner to dominate you in ways that are safe and within agreed limits. You are not asking your partner to be a jerk or a tyrant. You’re asking them to do something fun and sexy that will make you really excited.

6. Set your limits (and come up with a safe word). Limits can be physical or psychological. For example, if you are into getting hit with various implements, like crops or paddles, you or your partner might draw the line at anything that can leave a mark. If you want to be humiliated verbally, some words might be going too far — either for you to hear or for your partner to say. You’ll probably come up with more boundaries as you go because, hey, mistakes happen.

7. Use it as a spice in your sexual life (a little goes a long way). If you’re into bondage, there’s no need to go and buy a whole lot of cuffs and chains just yet. Try just having your partner hold your hands above your head in one of theirs while they lick your nipples. Or they can hold you down during penetrative sex, putting you into whatever position they like. Over time, you can ramp up the intensity.

8. Make noise! Even if your partner wasn’t initially into dominating you, your reactions can get them hooked on it. If they’ve shoved you facedown on the bed with your butt up and are rampantly using you as a human sex toy, your sighs and moans will show them how turned on you are. But also let them know when what they’re doing isn’t working for you. Safe words are important.

9. Reflect upon your kinky times outside the bedroom. Even though you want to give your partner the power, you’re still equal partners in your relationship. Check in with each other — ideally, with your clothes on. Talk about what you like and what you want to change. And now you’re ready to be dominated. Go forth and get rough.

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Casual sex with friends can work. The trick is simple, really: Just don’t get emotionally involved.

“I’ve interviewed many adults through the years who had friends-with-benefits arrangements that worked well for them when they were single and looking for fun and connection,” says Andrea Syrtash, Relationship Expert and Co-Author of It’s Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date. “The issue obviously pops up when someone in the friendship secretly (or not so secretly) wants more.”

Ultimately, casual sex isn’t all that casual, and there are a lot of factors we should consider before hitting the sheets with a friend. Here are some top tips from sex experts.

How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

10 Things Every Woman Wishes You Did During Sex

Sure, sex can ‘just happen’ but make sure you are on the same page.
“[Sometimes] sex just happens. If it keeps happening, and one person may develop feelings, that’s when things can get awkward. Be clear and communicate the difference between friends with benefits, and what behaviors cross over to dating territory,” says Marissa Nelson, LMFT, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist / Sex Therapist, Founder and CEO of IntimacyMoon Couples Retreats.

Set rules.
Set and agree to ground rules. “As an example, I suggest that both parties agree that neither will ask about nor tell the other about additional friends,” says relationship couch Jess Brighton.

Take responsibility for yourself.
“Before you sign up for a friends with benefits arrangement, be honest with yourself about your true intentions and boundaries,” says Dr. Jess, Astroglide’s resident sexologist. Ask yourself some serious questions: 1. How would you feel if you saw your FWB buddy out with another partner? If you can’t handle the fact that you’re not exclusive, say so from the beginning. 2. How will you approach the dissolution of your FWB arrangement? Eventually, one or both of you will want to move on; how will you feel about this when the time arises?

Never lie.
Even if it’s to accommodate your partner’s feelings. “If something makes you uncomfortable, speak up. If you change your mind about the arrangement, say so sooner rather than later,” says Dr. Jess.

How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

RELATED: Drunk in Love, the Science of Sex and Alcohol

Re-evaluate when necessary.
There is nothing wrong with making and updating rules (e.g., no multiday sleepovers; no hard feelings if you cancel at last minute), but each situation is unique, so you need to discuss them on an ongoing basis.

When someone gets emotionally involved …
If anyone gets emotionally involved, the rules have changed and need to be evaluated again. As soon as emotions enter the equation, all bets are off. “My advice to anyone wrapped up in this practice is, if you are having sex with a friend and all you want is sex and friendship, if you ever decide you want more, sex needs to stop. Otherwise, you will lose your friend, if not permanently, definitely, temporarily,” says Dr. Elaine Stevens, CRS, Board Certified Relationship Specialist.

There also has to be transparency and accountability to the friendship.
“This is not someone on Tinder who if your not feeling them anymore you can just swipe left or ghost them. People can get themselves in trouble by not remembering that they are friends first, so there is a certain respect and consideration that goes with it,” says Nelson. Remember, this is supposed to feel good, be fun and pleasurable. “Fantasize together, role play, use toys and all the sticky, fun stuff — and know that you’re safe to indulge your sexual desires because you’re doing it with a friend you trust,” says Nelson.

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How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

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There are few better feelings in the world than seeing a girl lustily looking up at you while on her knees or in your lap and seeing and feeling your member in her mouth; and then grabbing her hair and moving her head around your lap as you sit back and enjoy the oh-so-wonderful ride.

How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

That’s the amazing feeling of getting a blow job. And even though sex is amazingly enjoyable, there’s something particularly and uniquely satisfying about blow jobs. But the question is: what’s involved in learning how to get a blow job – and isn’t it hard to get a blow job? The short answer is: no, it’s not hard to get a blow job. And today, I’m going to talk about how to put yourself in a position to get exactly that. Here we go.

How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

Colt Williams

Raised in the American Midwest, Colt Williams made a name for himself in dating with a style based on soulful poetic seductions and playful dance floor antics. His style is all about inspiring girls and drawing them into one’s world. You can book phone coaching with him here, or get a copy of his guide to getting laid on Tinder, the product of months of study and experimentation by him on the medium.

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First things first: there are all of two or three countries in the world where it’s even lawful for you to have intercourse at your age, and in most places, many other kinds of sex. If you’re writing in from the states, there is no state in which you’re at the age of consent. However you may feel about these laws, they exist, and it’s generally very unwise not to abide by them, especially given the cultural climate when it comes to teens and sex. If your partner is over the age of consent, or worse still a legal adult, he could be looking at some very serious criminal charges. So, personally, I’d advise you to wait on sex until you’re legal. It also is often pretty difficult for someone your age to get things like the sexual healthcare you need and birth control, or abortion services or pre-natal care in the event of an accidental pregnancy, so until you’re in a place and of an age where you can always get those basics when you need them, it’s really best to hold off.

Same goes for having the kinds of interpersonal negotiation and communication skills that it usually takes most folks longer to get a handle on than in the first 13 years of their lives. Sex always keeps, and it’s always better (emotionally, as well as just for our enjoyment) when we only have it when we’ve got all we need to have it safely and soundly.

Which isn’t to say I’m not going to answer your questions.

Could someone be in so much pain from first intercourse that they’re screaming? They could. Everyone’s pain threshold is different, and there are a bunch of different conditions that could make first intercourse strongly painful. (Suffice it to say, if your cousin’s girlfriend also really just didn’t want to be having intercourse, it would be normal for her to be screaming.)

Here are some common reasons why that could happen:

  • Some people with vaginas have vaginal coronas (hymens) that are on the thicker side, which can sometimes lead to pain during intercourse. Same goes for a person with a vaginal corona that is not thick, but which a partner roughly tears because of not being very gradual in the kinds of sex they’re having, and not STOPPING when a partner is in pain and checking in with them.
  • If a person with a vagina has intercourse for the first time (or any time) and is very nervous, scared, unaroused and anticipating pain, their vagina won’t change in the way it does when we’re relaxed, aroused and anticipating pleasure. When we’re feeling good and okay about intercourse, when we’re aroused, our vaginal openings and canals loosen and lubricate, making intercourse (if we want that) pleasant, rather than painful. But if we are NOT, then the vagina is going to stay “tight” and dry and clamp down, so someone pushing something into it is going to hurt. And if we don’t have a good history of masturbation and other, less invasive sexual activity to KNOW when we’re aroused and our genitals are doing what they’re supposed to for sex to feel good, that’s more likely to happen.
  • If a person with a vagina and their partner don’t communicate well about sex, don’t have a good basis for that communication before, and/or their partner just isn’t paying attention to their communication, and/or is being too forceful or impatient with intercourse, it can hurt. Suffice it to say, for women being raped, intercourse often hurts.
  • If a person with a vagina and their partner, especially the first few times, aren’t taking PLENTY of time to engage in other sexual activities for her that are not intercourse — things like receiving oral sex, or clitoral stimulation with fingers or a toy, petting, “dry” humping, what have you — right before intercourse, it’s less likely to be pleasant. Too, trying intercourse without using plenty of latex-safe lubricant with your condom is more likely to create pain

Here is a link which goes into more about why intercourse or other vaginal entry can be painful and how to avoid that: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse. I’d also like you to read about why — not just because of age or anything else, but just because of pleasure — it can be a good idea to put off intercourse for some people: Yield for Pleasure.

You say you know vaguely what the deal is here, but legal and age issues aside, I’d love for you to be much more informed than that when making these choices for yourself: I’d love it if you could feel more like an expert before taking this step.

So, here is a nice pile of links I think will help round out the information you have, and give you a good foundation to get started with. With more information, you’re better equipped to know what the right choice is — whatever it is — for you right now, and to have the right things in your pocket to talk to a partner about long before having sex with him.

Plus, what you need to do if you’ve got the opposite problem.

How to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you

Being on the same page as your partner can solve a lot of things. Chores are shared equally, picking a movie takes like five seconds, and your sex life is on fleek. But we’re going to go ahead and guess that you and your S.O. don’t agree on literally everything. And when you disagree about how much sex is enough, that can be a big problemo.

Though you’re on your own when it comes to deciding between The Queen and OA, we’ve asked experts to explain why syncing up your sex life can be tough and how to fix that.

The Problem: You Want Sex More Often

Men greatly underestimate their partners’ sex drives, found a recent study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. It also showed that if men thought their partners weren’t up for doing it, they wouldn’t attempt to initiate. Shocker: Women do want sex! But we’re typically not as free with sexual expression, so men don’t pick up on our cues. (Spice up your sex life with this organic lube from the Women’s Health Boutique.)

SYNC UP: You’ve gotta tell your guy directly you want to get busy. Feel awkward? Bring it up in a setting that makes sense—say, while watching a romantic movie. “The language we use to talk about sex can be sexy in itself,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and sexuality counselor in New York City, so phrase it like a fantasy. (“I love morning sex with you. It would be so hot if we could do more of that.”) If it’s still not happening, make an emotional case, says Megan Fleming, Ph.D., a New York City sex and relationships expert. Explain what it means to you (e.g., you feel closer to him) so he knows it’s important to you and your bond.

RELATED:9 Positions That Practically Guarantee an Orgasm

Check out 14 fun facts you did’t know about orgasms.

The Problem: He Wants Sex More Often

Men’s higher libidos are hardwired (more testosterone) and socially ingrained (they’re taught to pursue sex), says Fleming. Another perk: It’s physiologically easier for them to get aroused spontaneously. All they need are simple signs, like seeing you step out of the shower, and—boom.