How to make people want to be your best friend

The essence of friendship is about care and respect.

Friendship is the bedrock of a happy life.

The essence of friendship is about care and respect. It has nothing to do with money, attractiveness, or “the cool factor.” A true friend is there for you, no matter what, and having such a person in your life is a great gift. Here are ten tools to help you create better friendships.

Forgiveness is important because everyone makes mistakes. Rather than turning your back on a friend who has hurt you, talk about your pain. If this person is a real friend, he or she will apologize.

Reliability is a cornerstone of good friendship. Knowing that you can call on someone who will be there for you, and you know has your back, is empowering and a great comfort.

If you want to have a friend, learn to be a friend. Giving what you want to get is the best way to show someone how to be your friend. People generally like us because we like them.

Envy will kill a friendship, and so will jealousy. Your friend may have everything you think you want, but if you are green with envy, your friend will sense that something’s out of sync in your relationship. So count your blessings, which should include having a friend who inspires you to achieve your goals.

Negativity is the antithesis of friendship. No friendship is going to be perfect all of the time, but keep the bad vibes away; they can only undermine the good thing you’ve got going.

Deep discussions are a treasure of friendship. Having a friend who won’t judge you can make your life better. Letting out your feelings with a trusted ally is good therapy.

Sharing your feelings and being able to listen are important parts of any good relationship. For some reason, women seem to be better at this than men, so guys, let’s be better buddies to each other.

Happiness can come from knowing you have good people in your life. If you don’t have a family of your own, having your friends as family is a true privilege.

Independence is an important part of good friendships. Your friend, no matter how close he or she may be, can’t be there for you every minute; almost no one can. That would make for an unhealthy dependency; friendship needs to be a two-way street.

People from your past may be more than just someone you once knew. For several reasons, it’s easier to feel close to people you have known for a long time. There is trust there, as well as the knowledge of how someone behaves under a variety of situations. Old friends are reliable, and most of the time, they make us feel a little safer.

Friends have been my bedrock. It is true that some leave for various reasons, but if you are a good friend, others come in to take their place, and your world becomes a little sweeter. If you need a place to start, try Facebook — I’ll be your friend.

How to make people want to be your best friend

When you’re young, it seems like the friends you have will always be your besties, but the older you get, you start to realize that’s not always the case. People change, circumstances change, and while there are some friends that you stick with through thick and thin, many of them fall off. Have you ever wondered what kind of friends make the best ones?

If you have, this might surprise and have you looking for some new, blunt friends.

How to make people want to be your best friendPinterest Source: Pinterest

Experts suggest that friends that give it to you straight, may be the best kind to have

It makes sense when you really think about it. For me, it’s always the friends that are honest even when it hurts, that end up being the best ones. That’s because no one actually likes to be lied to, even if it’s for your “own benefit.”

How to make people want to be your best friendYouTube Screenshot Source: YouTube Screenshot

Now, even experts are saying that your best friends will probably be the ones who are completely honest and never “beat around the bush.” According to William B. Bradshaw, PhD., blunt friends tell:

“it is as it is so people can deal with the very root of the situation.”

How to make people want to be your best friendWilliam B Bradshaw Source: William B Bradshaw

Here are 5 reasons why blunt friends are better

If you’ve got friends that exhibit these 5 traits, best to keep them around!

1. They’ll admit when they’re wrong

How to make people want to be your best friendYouTube Screenshot Source: YouTube Screenshot

We’ve all had friends who can never admit when they’re wrong, and it can be ridiculously aggravating. Brutally honest people don’t only tell other people what they need to hear, they usually also tell themselves the truth which makes them better friends and more likely to apologize.

2. They shoot it to you straight

How to make people want to be your best friendYouTube Screenshot Source: YouTube Screenshot

Telling you like it is doesn’t mean they have to be rude, They’ll give you “tough love” by telling you what you need to hear, rather than what you want to hear. A blunt friend knows that even if being brutally honest hurts your feeling initially, in the long run it will actually help you out.

3. You know they actually like being your friend

How to make people want to be your best friendYouTube Screenshot Source: YouTube Screenshot

If your friends are blunt and honest, then you can bet your butt they’re going to tell you when you’re not being their favorite person in the world. This will give you an assurance that they’re your REAL friends, not the type who are going to switch up behind your back and not tell you.

4. They want you to be your best version of yourself

How to make people want to be your best friendYouTube Screenshot Source: YouTube Screenshot

A lot of friends will just let you make mistake after mistake, without ever even telling you that you’re doing something wrong. Not your blunt friends, they truly want to see you succeed so they’re not scared to hurt your feelings if it gets you closer to being the “best you.”

5. They’ll always have your back

How to make people want to be your best friendYouTube Screenshot Source: YouTube Screenshot

Your blunt friends will be the first people to shut down other people who may want to disrespect or talk bad about you, Being blunt requires bravery, which means they will never be hesitant to jump in the ring for you and take on your foes themselves. Their fearlessness means no matter how bad the situation, they’ll always have your back.

How to make people want to be your best friendYouTube Screenshot Source: YouTube Screenshot

Now go out and get yourself some more blunt friends! To see more on this subject, watch the video below!

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

How to make people want to be your best friend

How to make people want to be your best friend

50 Nice Things to Say to a Friend

What do you say to a friend to lift their spirits or let them know that you value their friendship? Compliments can go a long way to letting someone know that you care, but there are even more powerful benefits to saying nice things to someone.

The Power of Saying Nice Things

According to research, the social reward of a having something nice said to you, or about you, could enhance your motor skills and improve performance. So, your compliments can help someone learn a new skill or improve an old one.

In fact, the scientists found that the same area of the brain is activated whether a person is rewarded with cash or a compliment. Talk really is cheap, and the nicest gift you may be able to give to someone is a few positive words.

Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” These little gems really can sustain a person.

What to Say to Someone

Here are some ready-made compliments you can use to say something nice to someone, no matter what the occasion. Feeling low, chances are there are a few in here you can say to yourself, too.

  1. You are more fun than anyone or anything I know, including bubble wrap.
  2. You are the most perfect you there is.
  3. You are enough.
  4. You are one of the strongest people I know.
  5. You look great today.
  6. You have the best smile.
  7. Your outlook on life is amazing.
  8. You just light up the room.
  9. You make a bigger impact than you realize.
  10. You are always so helpful.
  11. You have the best laugh.
  12. I appreciate our friendship.
  13. Your inside is even more beautiful than your outside.
  14. You just glow.
  15. I love the way you bring out the best in people.
  16. Our family/school/community/church is better because you are part of it.
  17. You bring out the best in the rest of us.
  18. You inspire me.
  19. Nothing can stop you.
  20. You just made my day.
  21. You make me float up like I’m on millions of bubbles (We got this one from one of our kids after he got a new coat.)
  22. You are an excellent friend.
  23. When it comes to cooking, no one’s meals are quite as delicious.
  24. I am a better person because of you.
  25. You have taught me so much.
  26. I like the way you are.
  27. You are a great parent. You can tell just by looking at how thoughtful your kids are (A two-for-one compliment)
  28. You have the best sense of style.
  29. You make me want to be a better person.
  30. You look so young!
  31. I hope you are proud of yourself, because I am!
  32. You are one of the bravest people I know.
  33. That color looks perfect on you.
  34. You are so trustworthy; I always believe what you say.
  35. Everything seems brighter when you are around.
  36. Even the things you don’t like about yourself make you interesting.
  37. I know that you will always have my back, because that is the kind of person you are.
  38. You have the best ideas.
  39. You are a great example to others.
  40. I know that if you ever make a mistake, you fix it.
  41. You’ve got great leadership skills.
  42. You have amazing creative potential.
  43. You are stunning.
  44. You really seem to know who you are. I admire that.
  45. You are the reason I am smiling today.
  46. You’re a gift to everyone you meet.
  47. You have a gift for making people comfortable.
  48. I enjoy spending time with you.
  49. I am really glad we met.
  50. I tell everyone how amazing you are.

Receive stories of warmth, confidence and hope and learn how you can help children in need. Join the Operation Warm monthly newsletter!

A best friend is “a therapist you can drink with,” and much more.

How to make people want to be your best friend

When we are young, we seem to have no shortage of “best friends.” As we mature, however, the nature of our friendships changes. Having or being a best friend is no longer as simple as labeling someone our BFF and having them reciprocate.

Other more important factors come into play, including:

  1. Being emotionally supportive. This is probably the most important element of any adult friendship. Best friends refrain from unnecessarily criticizing each other and tend to be nonjudgmental.
  2. A best friend will listen to you and thoughtfully respond rather than react to what you’ve said even if you have triggered something in him or her. The ability to hear what another is truly saying is one of the best parts of friendship.
  3. Best friends go out of their way for the people they care about, and it feels good to both parties. You can tell who your real friends are when you need help with a move or a ride to the airport.
  4. Thoughtfulness is a quality that deepens and strengthens any friendship. Being able to see someone else’s needs—and to do what you can to fulfill those needs—enables bonding experiences. Our best friends do things for us no one else would think of.
  5. Reliability. When you know you can call on your best friend to bail you out of a jam, 24/7, it makes you feel better and increases your overall confidence.
  6. Best friends accept you and all your flaws. They don’t expect perfection. When you aren’t at your best, they are understanding rather than critical. If you’re having a bad day, someone who cares for you will ask if they can help or if they should let you be alone if that’s what you need.
  7. A friend once gave me a cocktail napkin that said, “Friends are therapists you can drink with.” A good friendship is indeed therapeutic, though a good friend is not the same as a drinking buddy.
  8. A strong friendship defines you both and helps each of you navigate this thing called life. Your friend is a mirror who reflects back to you who you are to them. In other words, your best qualities shine, and those pieces that need improvement are not judged but understood.
  9. It’s hard for some of us to cry alone. Instead, we might need a shoulder to cry on, and having a friend you feel comfortable doing that with is a gift. When facing difficulty, having someone you can really let your pain out with can be invaluable.
  10. Best friends have your back. Knowing you can trust another person with your well-being allows you both to explore and enjoy more new things than you would on your own.

It’s life-affirming to have a best friend to help pull you up but never put you down. You have to be willing to give as much as you want to get, but I don’t know anyone who thinks a good friendship is not worth the effort.

How to make people want to be your best friend

Friendship is undeniably important for your mental and emotional well-being. With a solid support network in place, you can meet just about any challenge life throws at you. Plus, you can enjoy everything so much more when you’re surrounded by companions who appreciate you and truly “get” you. But what’s the definition of a true best friend? What makes a good friendship, and how can you tell if you’re cultivating one? Without a clear sense of what you’re looking for in your close relationships, it’s easy to fall into unhealthy dynamics and miss out on the kind of rich, loving friendships you deserve.

We’ll explore the seven key qualities of a good friend, explaining how to identify each and considering why each aspect is so important. As you look through this list, consider how you might also learn more about how to be a good friend to the people in your life.

7 Qualities Of A Good Friend

Of course, you may have two equally good friends who are entirely different from each other in most respects. However, the vast majority of high-quality friendships feature certain core traits that lead to a sustained and mutual sense of empathy, comfort, love and understanding.

Which of these seven characteristics do you see in your friends, and which do you think you could stand to have more of in your life? Keep reading for the top 7 qualities of a good friend.

(Is something holding you back from utilizing The Law Of Attraction successfully? Click here now to take the free quiz!)

How to make people want to be your best friend

Among the traits of a best friend, honesty is easily one of the most significant.

Your friends should tactfully tell you the truth, rather than lying to keep you happy in the short term.

For example, they should be straightforward when it comes to discussions about clothes, romance, job opportunities and how you come across to others.

They should never be cruel or abusive. On the other hand, deceitfulness and manipulativeness are tell-tale qualities of a bad friend.

And if you find out that a friend is lying to other people, the chances are fairly high that they are dishonest with you as well.

2. Accepting

Great friends are accepting, even when their lives diverge from your own. They will understand that your choices are your own, and see that what’s right for them isn’t necessarily right for you.

So, for example, they won’t try to make you change how you look, pressure you to do things that make you uncomfortable, or fight with you when you reveal you have a different view about something. It’s fine for them to challenge you and encourage you to say more about your values, but this should always be done in an even-handed way and it shouldn’t be done with the goal of changing who you are.

(Is something holding you back from utilizing The Law Of Attraction successfully? Click here now to take the free quiz!)

How to make people want to be your best friend

Great friends quotes often point out how important it is for friends to be able to reconnect after time apart.

In other words, your friend shouldn’t need your attention every minute of the day, and should be able to understand that you have lots of commitments.

One way to maximize your chances of creating low-maintenance friends is to seek our people with similar lifestyles.

So, if you’re a parent then you might fit best with friends who also have children, and if you work long days then it can be helpful to hook up with people who also prioritize their career.

4. Non-Judgmental

You need friends who make you feel confident about who you are, not people who induce self-doubt.

Indeed, a non-judgmental approach is also one of the characteristics of a good person more generally. Your friends should listen to you and do their best to put themselves in your shoes, even if means trying to relate to a very different belief system.

Friends who try to convince you that there’s a “right” way to be will often turn out to be bullies, and can make you feel very insecure about your individuality. It’s your uniqueness that will actually attract people who are a good match for you.

How to make people want to be your best friend

Loyalty is unquestionably one of the most important qualities of a good friend.

You need to know that this person will stick by your side no matter what and that their commitment to you is not fickle.

The very best friends will help you out when you’re struggling, whether it’s with money, love, mental health difficulties or something else entirely.

In contrast, “fair weather friends” are ones who are only there when things are good for you and when you have plenty to give.

This indicates that they’re only interested in what you can do for them and that they don’t value you as much as you deserve.

6. Respectful

Mutual respect is one of the most powerful traits of a good friendship, and a lack of it is a serious warning sign that you’re entering into an abusive dynamic.

There are lots of facets to respect. For example, your friend should keep your secrets, not talk about you behind your back, and value your time.

In addition, they should form opinions about you for themselves rather than listening to gossip. Further, once again, if you’re talking to a friend who is telling you people’s personal business, it’s likely that they’re using your secrets as conservational currency in their chats with other people.

7. Trustworthy

How to make people want to be your best friend

Finally, never underestimate the importance of aspects of friendship that involve trust. Trustworthiness isn’t just about keeping confidences, as discussed above. It’s also about sticking to a certain set of moral principles that relate to the aforementioned traits of honesty and respect. For example, someone who flirts with your partner or tries to undermine you at work isn’t really a friend, and definitely can’t be trusted with anything important.

In contrast, friendships that are built on trust are usually long-lasting and deeply satisfying. Make it a priority to create this kind of relationship with people. Offer trust, and make it obvious that you can be trusted in response.

How to make people want to be your best friend

  • Share
  • Pin it
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email

Why would you want to become your own best friend? There are a number of benefits to creating your own internal support system rather than relying on your partner, friends or family to be there for you when you’re suffering. Having expectations of other people can lead to disappointment, heartbreak, and relationship breakdown if your expectations aren’t met.

We all have it in us to give ourselves what we need, without seeking it externally.

Of course, it’s great if you have a strong support network, but you could still benefit from becoming more self-reliant. And what about if you have no one to turn to for help, or if your current support people are unable to be there for you?

Isn’t it far better to know how to support yourself in times of need? Here’s how to become your own best friend.

1. Be nice to yourself

The first step to becoming a friend to yourself is to treat yourself like you would treat a friend. That means that you need to stop being self-critical and beating yourself up. Start by acknowledging your good qualities, talents and abilities and begin to appreciate your own unique self.

When you catch yourself thinking up some nasty self-talk, stop and ask, “Would I say this to my best friend?” If not, then reframe your self-talk to be more supportive and caring.

2. Imagine how you would support a friend in the same situation

Think about a loved one, a friend, a family member, someone dear to you and imagine that they are in the same situation you are currently facing. Think about how they’re struggling, suffering, and feeling stuck with this problem, then consider how to best offer assistance and advice to them.

Craft the words that you would say to your greatest friend and then say them gently to yourself. Allow yourself to feel supported, and give yourself what you need.

3. Honor your needs

Following the theme of considering how you would help a dear friend, you need to start taking your own advice and putting your own needs first. Do you need a day off from work? A long hot bath? An early night? A wild night? Some time to catch up on your reading, cleaning, gardening, creative projects, social life or self-care?

Whatever it is that you need, allow yourself to put it at the top of the list rather than the bottom. Be there for yourself and make it happen.

4. Stand back from your thoughts

Just because a thought pops into your mind, you don’t need to believe it and act upon it. Not all thoughts should be believed. If you’re struggling with negative thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t cope with this” remember that it’s your choice whether or not you believe those thoughts.

“Standing back” from thoughts is a mindfulness technique whereby you imagine that your conscious awareness has taken a step backwards, out of your mind. That way you can simply observe the thoughts that pass through, without needing to engage with them. Use it whenever you’re dealing with unhelpful thoughts.

5. Send compassion to the part of you that is hurting

Being a friend to yourself involves adopting and mastering the art of self-compassion. Compassion isn’t forceful or solution-focused. Compassion is accepting, peaceful, and loving, without the need to control or change anything.

Imagine a mother holding a child who has bumped his head. Her compassion is a strong and powerful force. She simply holds her child with loving, comforting, gentle arms and whispers “It will be alright my love.” The child trusts his mother’s words just as you will learn to trust your own words when you speak to yourself.

Imagine yourself as both the child and the mother simultaneously. Offer compassion at the same time as you open up to receive it.

Use these techniques to become your own best friend and start being there for yourself!

As you reach your later years, making new friends can feel impossible. It’s not.

Posted March 1, 2017

How to make people want to be your best friend

Many things get better as we age—we get better at advocating for ourselves, we get more comfortable with who we are, we learn what matters to us and let the stuff that doesn’t fall away.

One thing that gets progressively worse, though, is our ability to make new friends. At the playground, you’d be instant best friends with anyone who had the same favorite ice cream flavor as you. In high school, your best friend likely played the same sport or did the same after-class activity. In college, your friends studied the same subject as you or were members of the same fraternity or sorority. But once you’re out of those structured environments, it’s hard to make new friends. You switch jobs, maybe move cities, and it becomes even harder.

Finally, as you reach your later years, near retirement, or retire, making new friends can feel impossible. It’s not.

Friendships matter. Whether you’re five or sixty-five, you are an innately and intensely social being. Yes, even introverts are social beings. We humans are like pack animals. We survive best when we connect with others. When we have friends to talk about our day with, to commiserate with us over a cup of coffee, support us in times of struggle, or cheer us on in times of joy, we are at our happiest and healthiest. We are wired to form positive connections with others and suffer serious consequences when we don’t.

Step number one in making new friends is an obvious one. You must meet new people.

Seek, and you will find

You know how you won’t meet new people? By living every day like it’s identical to the previous one and not mixing up your routine at all. A strategy with a high-return rate is to go places or do things you enjoy and see who you meet there. If you like to read, join a book club. If you’re more physically oriented, join a gym or take a class in a new sport: golf, tennis, tai chi. The more it involves interacting with other people, the better.

Keep an open mind

Having only friends who think exactly like you—or who come from the same background—limits your learning opportunities. You may surprise yourself and discover that someone you initially rejected as friend-material, thinking you had nothing in common, becomes a close friend if you give them a chance. As you get older, one thing that’s vital to your health and happiness is to continue to learn and experience new things. A new person with different life experiences than you is perfect for this.

Let’s say you’ve met someone you like and you’re becoming friends. Now what? Not only may your friend-making skills be lacking, but your being-a-good-friend skills may be lacking, too. To become a better friend, think about the qualities and characteristics you like in a friend and make sure to develop them in yourself. To attract the kind of people you want and to keep them in your life, you need to be that kind of person.

As a marriage and family therapist, I’ve spent years perfecting exercises to help people form and keep better relationships. This mindfulness exercise should help you become a better friend.

1. Imagine an interviewer is asking someone you know—a friend, relative, colleague—to describe you. What are the first three words you’d like them to say?

2. Find a quiet place and some alone time de-clutter your mind of other thoughts, and focus on those three words. See what images present themselves that show how you display these qualities in your interactions. Or how you display the opposite qualities.

3. Write down your thoughts and any physical sensations you experience. Feelings of tension, sadness, or the like, can be signs you’re disappointed in or angry with yourself for not displaying the qualities you’d like. Ask yourself what you can do or say that would more authentically embody the quality you think you’re missing?

4. Make a “to do” list for how you can display the qualities you’d like to embody.

5. Establish some checkpoints for yourself: Once a week, perhaps. In mindfulness practice, let images from the previous days come to mind and see how you’re doing.

To make new friends as an adult, you’ve got to meet new people. To meet new people, you’ve got to do new things. And to do even more new, fun things with these fabulous new people you’ve met, you’ve got to be the kind of person someone would want to be friends with. It may not be as easy as making friends on the playground, but it’s likely not as hard as you fear, certainly not impossible, and definitely worth it.

To read more about developing solid relationships, please visit my website.

How to make people want to be your best friend

Starting up a new friendship often means that you must go above and beyond in making an effort, especially in the beginning stages. Eventually, your friend will reciprocate and you’ll have a balanced relationship. But what if your acquaintance doesn’t ever return the same interest that you have in making your friendship a go?

Most people will not just come right out and tell you they don’t want to be friends. If they did, it would be considered rude. What they’ll do instead is avoid you or act polite but never try to set up times to get together.

There are plenty of reasons why someone doesn’t want to be friends with you. They might have enough friends already and can’t fit anymore in their life. They might not like you for whatever reason. Or perhaps they just think the two of you would not have anything in common.

Signs They’re Not Interested in Being Your Friend

Here are some signs that will show you someone doesn’t really want to be friends with you.

They’re Polite But Keep Their Distance.

It’s rare that someone will be so rude that they’ll come right out and say they aren’t interested in being friends. What they’ll do instead is be polite but won’t attempt to draw you closer to them with things like deeper conversation or one-on-one lunches where you two could really bond.

They Don’t Get Enthusiastic About the Things You Have in Common.

When you do try and get to know this person, you might find out you really do have some things in common. But while you feel happy at this prospect, your acquaintance will react blandly towards it. They don’t care if you have anything in common because they aren’t interested in sharing their hobbies or favorite things with you.

They Do Not Return Your Calls or Emails on a Timely Basis (or at All).

If you’ve been on a mission to make friends, you’re used to making the first move. You’re probably the one calling first and making suggestions for friendship dates. So it might take you awhile to realize that your acquaintance isn’t exactly returning your calls and emails very quickly. Perhaps they’re not responding at all. Either they’re too busy to be bothered, or they aren’t interested in being your friend.

They Are Hard to Pin Down When You Suggest a Get-Together.

In the interest of social etiquette, most people will never tell you that they aren’t interested in a friendship with you. So when you make suggestions about getting together, they’ll be evasive or tell you they’ll get back to you and then never follow through.

While it’s easy to get upset when someone acts this way, we can’t help it if someone is not interested in being our friend. Most of the things mentioned here are what people do to help from hurting your feelings about not wanting to be friends.