How to have sex appeal

There's also something in the way he (or she) moves.

How to have sex appeal

OK, we’re not all born beautiful. But there are actually more ingredients in the mix of what makes a person sexually, or interpersonally, appealing, and being physically attractive is only one of the key four:

1. Dynamic Attractiveness.

As George Harrison suggested, there’s “something in the way she [or he] moves…” We all know people who are not classically handsome or beautiful, but the way they express themselves—their dynamic appearance—makes them sexy and attractive. This is what we call dynamic attractiveness, and it’s all about body language. It involves the expression of our emotions and our underlying personality and is a critical element of an individual’s personal charisma. Expressing positive affect—a smiling face, an upbeat tempo, and expressive eyes and facial expressions are all associated with dynamic attractiveness.

2. Circumstances.

A great deal of research in social psychology tells us that the situation matters. First of all, we like and are attracted to people who like us. We tend to reciprocate affection. Enjoying rewarding and pleasing experiences together make a partner appear more attractive to us. Research has even shown that if we experience something exciting and arousing, we may attribute some of that arousal to the person we are with, and become more attracted to her or him.

3. Static Attractiveness.

This is what you are born with—the shape of your face, your physical features, your general body shape. Of course, physical appearance can be altered through aging, injury, or plastic surgery, but it is generally the component of physical attractiveness that you can’t do much about.

4. Self-Presentation.

This includes all of the things that one can do to their general appearance that will make them more physically attractive—grooming, makeup, hairstyle, style of dress, etc. It is the component of attractiveness altered when one undergoes a makeover.

Increase sexiness without any physical alterations.


  • The Fundamentals of Sex
  • Find a sex therapist near me

How to have sex appeal

We tend to believe that in order to boost our sex appeal, we need to alter our physical appearance, whether through diet, increased muscle tone, makeup, or sexier clothing.

But consider these four extra-ordinary strategies to boost sexiness — no physical modifications required.

1. Selflessness Is Sexy

Helping others is typically intended to benefit those in need, but there are numerous benefits to the individual who provides the help as well. Helping can inspire a good mood, alleviate a bad mood, and increase the likelihood of reciprocal helping (see Kassin et al., 2011). Another way in which we benefit from helping others is in becoming increasingly appealing to potential partners. Moore et al. (2013) found that “selflessness is sexy” (p. 182); helping behavior attributed to both male and female targets increased their attractiveness as long-term sexual partners. Helpful men were also perceived as more attractive for a short-term encounter.

Why is helpfulness sexy? The authors propose that being helpful may signal both the presence of good genes as well as a willingness to share in parental care or to share resources. In this research, individuals described as helping an elderly neighbor with shopping, mentoring children at a local school, or volunteering at a homeless shelter were consistently rated as more attractive than counterparts who engaged in behaviors not associated with helping.

2. Become a Sexy Stranger

Classic research shows that familiarity leads to liking, known as the mere exposure effect (Zajonc, 1968). However, recent research reveals that familiarity is not always desirable in a mate; while women prefer familiarity in a partner, men prefer unfamiliarity. Men rate women as significantly less sexy when they have seen their photographs before meeting in person (Little et al., 2013).

Why are strangers sexy? The researchers interpret these results as consistent with the potential evolutionary benefits to men of mating with more than one partner. Intriguingly, new research shows that women also prefer unfamiliar male partners, under certain circumstances. Salvatore et al. (2017) discovered that women in the most fertile portion of their menstrual cycles found men from other ethnic backgrounds (but not men from the same ethnic background) more attractive as both short and long-term partners. The authors speculate that strangers are sexy due to the desire for genetically diverse offspring or to the unconscious motivation to avoid incest — because, yes, disturbingly, we are generally attracted to our opposite sex relatives.

3. Get Creative

Showcasing your creativity may enhance your sex appeal. Once again, women’s fertility status may be an important determinant of the attractiveness of creativity. Haselton and Miller (2006) found that women in the most fertile portion of their cycles preferred creativity to wealth in potential male partners.

Why is creativity attractive? The authors believe it may signal good genes or intelligence. They also propose that creativity in women may attract men; however, they did not test that possibility in this study. Musical creativity may also be attractive to women. Guéguen et al. (2014) found that men were more likely to obtain women’s phone numbers for a date when carrying a guitar case than when carrying a gym bag or nothing. Again, these authors postulate that musical talent may signal good genes or intellectual ability.

4. Open Up

An open body posture can convey one’s romantic interest (Moore, 2010), but it can also inspire romantic interest in others. A more expansive pose (taking up more space with one’s body) enhanced both men’s and women’s chances of success in both online dating and speed-dating interactions (Vacharkulksemsuk et al., 2016).

What makes openness sexy? The posture may signal dominance but also a willingness to share resources (Vacharkulksemsuk et al., 2016). It may also be associated with confidence, which is considered an essential aspect of sex appeal by both men and women (Smolak et al., 2014; Lamb et al., 2015).

Consider these unanswered questions: Is it selfish to use selflessness to increase sexiness? And if it is selfish and not selfless, is it still sexy?

You may also be interested in these unexpected ways to make yourself more attractive.


  • The Fundamentals of Sex
  • Find a sex therapist near me

Guéguen, N., Meineri, S., & Fischer-Lokou, J. (2014). Men’s music ability and attractiveness to women in a real-life courtship context. Psychology of Music, 42(4), 545-549.

Haselton, M. G., & Miller, G. F. (2006). Women’s fertility across the cycle increases the short-term attractiveness of creative intelligence. Human Nature, 17(1), 50-73.

Kassin, S. M., Fein, S., & Markus, H. R. (2011). Social Psychology (8th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning.

Lamb, S., Farmer, K. M., Kosterina, E., Lambe Sariñana, S., Plocha, A., & Randazzo, R. (2016). What’s sexy? Adolescent girls discuss confidence, danger, and media influence. Gender and Education, 28(4), 527-545.

Little, A. C., DeBruine, L. M., & Jones, B. C. (2013). Sex differences in attraction to familiar and unfamiliar opposite-sex faces: Men prefer novelty and women prefer familiarity. Archives of Sexual Behavior, doi:10.1007/s10508-013-0120-2

Moore, D., Wigby, S., English, S., Wong, S., Székely, T., & Harrison, F. (2013). Selflessness is sexy: reported helping behaviour increases desirability of men and women as long-term sexual partners. BMC evolutionary biology, 13(1), 182.

Moore, M. M. (2010). Human nonverbal courtship behavior—A brief historical review. The Journal of Sex Research, 47, 171-180. DOI: 10.1080/00224490903402520

Salvatore, J. F., Meltzer, A. L., March, D. S., & Gaertner, L. (2016). Strangers with benefits attraction to outgroup men increases as fertility increases across the menstrual cycle. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 0146167216678860.

Smolak, L., Murnen, S. K., & Myers, T. A. (2014). Sexualizing the self: What college women and men think about and do to be “sexy”. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 38(3), 379-397.

Vacharkulksemsuk, T., Reit, E., Khambatta, P., Eastwick, P. W., Finkel, E. J., & Carney, D. R. (2016). Dominant, open nonverbal displays are attractive at zero-acquaintance. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 113(15), 4009-4014.

Zajonc, R. (1968). Attitudinal effects of mere exposure. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 9(2, Pt.2), 1–27. doi:10.1037/h0025848.

Sometimes, being a woman is all the sex appeal you need to find yourself between the sheets with a man, but other times you might feel like all your efforts are going unnoticed.

So, how do you get the boost you need to turn heads and get noticed by the opposite sex? There are plenty of ways to enhance your sex appeal, and most of them do not require much extra effort – a major bonus for the lazier lady. Here are five ways to unleash your inner sex goddess:

  1. Do something you love

If you’re feeling a bit low because the male attention has been lagging lately, this mindset is only hurting your chances of getting lucky. The best thing you can do is to take time for yourself. Indulge in a passion, whether you set aside an hour to play your guitar or you schedule a trip to your favorite nail salon. Doing something that makes you feel good will remind you how awesome you can be.

  1. Hit the gym

It doesn’t matter if you’re a fitness nut or more of a couch potato, getting active is a great way to boost your sex appeal. Not only does exercise release
endorphins that improve your mood, working out also makes you feel physically better – plus, it has the added benefit of helping you shed the extra pounds you may have put on over winter. You’ll really appreciate that you made the effort to get on the treadmill, as exercising can give you more stamina between the sheets.

  1. Spend extra time primping

Whether you have an elaborate routine for getting ready to go out or you’re
more of a casual gal, taking the time to go through all your beauty regimens can make you feel and look your best when you head to the bar. Spend extra time in the shower, give your hair a full blowout (and use a little product), and maybe take some time to put on makeup. Guys won’t know how long it took How to have sex appealyou to get ready, but they will notice the girl who looks like she cares about herself and her appearance.

  1. Wear something nice

Even if your favorite hangout spot is known for being casual, that doesn’t mean you should just throw on a ratty old T-shirt and dirty jeans. You should always look presentable, no matter what your style is. Pick out something clean, and if it’s a bit wrinkly, grab your iron or some anti-wrinkle spray. It’s also a good idea to leave your giant tote bag at home. A big, heavy bag will just be a burden. A small or medium-sized bag is more than enough to stash things you’ll need – condoms, essential makeup items, cash, phone and maybe a clean pair of undies in case you end up staying out all night.

  1. Get to know yourself more intimately

If you haven’t been having much luck playing the field, there’s no reason your sexual desires have to go unanswered. Grab a bottle of personal lubricant and your favorite toy – we suggest the LifeStyles® a:muse™ Personal Pleasure Massager – and spend some time finding out just what turns you on. That way, you can take control next time you have a guy over and tell him exactly what you like and don’t like. Most guys love a little direction when it comes to navigating your body.

Choosing the right dating advice to follow can be tricky as no two women want exactly the same things.

So instead of putting all your eggs in one basket and following here-say pick-up tips, try following the science. These are six, scientifically proven tips that will boost your sex appeal and instantly make you more attractive to women.

1\ Grow Some Stubble

A survey of more than 8,500 women from Charles Sturt University discovered women rate men with any kind of facial hair – beard or stubble – 15 to 20 per cent more attractive than guys who are clean shaven. “That’s because facial hair is a sign of masculinity,” says study author Dr Danielle Sulikowski.

If you really want to catch her eye, stick with stubble – women rated it the no.1 hottest type of facial hair.

2\ Stand Up Straight

A study out of the University of California surveyed over 3000 online daters to determine whether or not their posture affected their chances of attracting a mate. The researchers showed study participants photos of people with different types of postures and found those with powerful, upright postures got an 87 per cent positive response rate compared to those with slouched postures who only got 53 per cent.

3\ Don’t Smile

Wait, what? Don’t smile? That’s if you believe the study by the University of British Columbia that found women were least attracted to smiling, happy men and instead preferred guys who looked ‘moody and ashamed’. The researchers put this down to the ‘bad boy look’, but if you’ve been blessed with a Colgate smile, don’t be afraid to flash it.

4\ Bulk Up

As superficial as it may sound, it’s true: women prefer guys with bigger muscles. The University of California found muscular men are likely to have more sexual partners than their scrawny counterparts, as being bulky is a subliminal sign that you have good genes. Lead author David Frederick sums it up nicely.

“The stereotype is that men work out to compete with each other, but our research suggests that pumping iron is a way for men to enhance their attractiveness to women,” he said.

5\ Sweat It Out

Since you know women like it when you hit the gym, you may as well make it worth your while and sweat your ass off. Why? Women are more attracted to sweaty guys as the chemical ‘androstadienone’ present in sweat acts as an aphrodisiac, improving their moods and boosting their sexual arousal.

“This male chemical signal, androstadienone, does cause hormonal as well as physiological and psychological changes in women,” said study author Dr. Claire Wyart.

6\ Make Her Laugh

Research published in the journal Psychological Reports found men who told jokes and had a good sense to be more attractive and intelligent to women compared to guys who didn’t have a sense of humour.

Wear sexy lingerie and use your ‘secret weapon’: Relationship expert reveals the THREE ways women can boost their sex appeal around men

  • Relationship and dating expert, Louanne Ward, has shared her sex appeal tips
  • She insists women dress from the ‘ground up’ and wear a smile when they’re out
  • Maintaining eye contact with a man is also a great way to establish connection
  • Louanne is adamant people don’t need to turn to online dating if they try this

Published: 03:35 BST, 27 July 2018 | Updated: 04:36 BST, 27 July 2018

It’s hardly surprising to learn that men are visual creatures and the initial attraction they feel towards a woman comes entirely from the way they look.

Relationship and dating expert, Louanne Ward, believes women can harness that fact and use their sex appeal to score the date they’ve been looking for – without the need to go online.

‘That doesn’t mean to say you have to be a nine out of ten or an eight out of ten, you just have to have a certain sex appeal and know about the art of connection,’ she said in her latest Facebook video.

So what elements can help enhance your appeal? Louanne suggests dressing for your body shape, having a genuine smile and focusing on your character are the keys to success.

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How to have sex appeal

So what elements can help enhance your appeal? Louanne suggests dressing for your body shape, having a genuine smile and focusing on your character are the keys to success

1. Men are visual and women are auditory

The glamorous dating expert explained that women should do the best they can with what they’ve been given appearance-wise.

‘Think about what you’re wearing and dress to show off your best assets. Think about your body shape and what you’re wearing to accentuate that,’ she reiterated.

‘There is also a very easy way to raise your femininity and feminine power which naturally attracts a man and that is to wear sexy lingerie.’


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How to have sex appeal

While not all men will be able to see what you’re wearing underneath your clothes, it’s that alluring confidence women get from a lacy bra and underwear that might be the ticket to building a lasting connection

While not all men will be able to see what you’re wearing underneath your clothes, it’s that alluring confidence women get from a lacy bra and underwear that might be the ticket to building a lasting connection.

‘You have to dress from the ground up. If you feel sexy underneath it raises your sensual ability to connect with a man.’

By far the biggest ‘secret weapon’ in your arsenal though is a warm smile.

‘Men are drawn to this,’ Louanne said, mentioning it as the top physical attribute men look for in a woman.

How to have sex appeal

By far the biggest ‘secret weapon’ in your arsenal though is a warm smile

Top physical attributes men look for in women

Top physical attributes women look for in men

2. Engaging body language

What Louanne means by body language isn’t necessarily the most obvious signs, but rather ‘how you move as a woman, how you walk and talk in a room and your mannerisms’.

‘Those things can be very seductive and very alluring to a man,’ she said.

‘Slow everything down so he has a chance to take you all in. The other important factor here is eye contact – never be afraid to look him directly in the eye.

‘Let him know there is a queue. that he can come over and talk to you. Get more than a glance happening. Get the eye contact, look away and then reconnect all in the same three to four seconds.’

Louanne reasons that it’s being flirtatious without being obvious that will land that first conversation with a potential partner.

How to have sex appeal

‘Get the eye contact, look away and then reconnect all in the same three to four seconds,’ she recommends

How to have sex appeal

What Louanne means by body language isn’t necessarily the most obvious signs, but rather ‘how you move as a woman, how you walk and talk in a room and your mannerisms’

3. Your character, language and actions

A man is building a perception and ideas about what your character might be like before he even walks over.

‘Think about how you’re acting when you’re out in a public domain. If you have the opportunity to connect with a man your kindness and ability to open up and show some authenticity will be really appealing to him,’ she said.

‘He’s going to remember how you made him feel. Be engaging and be genuine.’

She recommends women try to create the ‘attraction in the first place’ and put themselves in the dating game.

How to have sex appeal

A man is building a perception and what he thinks your character might be like before he even walks over

How to have sex appeal

Physical attraction may be as old as time, but new studies are beginning to uncover the science behind sex appeal.

Unexpected factors—like smell, facial symmetry, voice pitch, financial stability and kissing prowess—just might have more to do with your choice of mate than anyone ever expected. Discover the evolutionary explanations.


A spritz on the wrist. A dab behind the ears. Many men and women spend a lot of time—and money—searching for a signature scent that attracts the opposite sex. Little do they know, these lotions and potions actually mask the natural odors scientists say potential mates find most appealing.

Karl Grammer and Elizabeth Oberzaucher, researchers who study how the human scent influences sexual attraction, found that when women are ovulating, they produce pheromones called copulins. Copulins have a distinct smell, which Elizabeth describes as “butter gone off.”

When a man gets a whiff of copulins, his testosterone levels rise. As a result, he secretes androstenone, an odor that repels women who aren’t ovulating.

Sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman says science and evolution plays a larger role in attraction than people might think. “We are capable of discerning 10,000 different scents consciously,” she says. “But then there’s a whole realm of unconscious scents that we’re not even aware that we’re smelling.”

In one recent study, Dr. Berman says researchers had women smell men’s T-shirts. The women were most attracted to the shirts of men whose major histocompatability complexes (MHC) differed from theirs. MHC is a collection of genes that are related to immune systems. “We unconsciously want to mate with someone who has a different immune system than ours,” Dr. Berman says. “That helps with the survival of our offspring.”

How to have sex appeal


If you’re like most women, you haven’t considered the pitch of your voice since middle school choir practice. but maybe you should.

In one experiment, Dr. Gordon Gallup, a professor at the State University of New York at Albany, asked 10 men to rate the attractiveness of 10 female voices. Some audio clips came from the same women at different times during their menstrual cycles. During ovulation, women produce more estrogen, which raises the pitch of their voices.

Across the board, the men said they preferred the higher-pitched voices, an unconscious indication of fertility. “When females are midcycle, when they’re the most fertile, the most likely to conceive, their voices are rated as being significantly more attractive,” he says.

How to have sex appeal

Facial Features

It's hard to pinpoint what distinguishes a gorgeous face from an average one, but some researchers are getting pretty close.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeBruine of the University of Aberdeen in Scotland says she's found that female faces become more attractive to men when the women are ovulating. "We think that the women might look healthier, have a bit of a healthier glow when they are ovulating," Dr. DeBruine says.

Symmetry is another factor that determines a face's attractiveness. Dr. Kendra Schmid, an assistant professor of biostatistics at the University of Nebraska Medical Center, says there is a equation for the "perfect" face. She uses 29 different measurements to determine someone's appeal on a scale of 1 to 10.

Dr. Schmid says the ratio of the length of the face to the width of the face should be 1.6, also known as the "golden ratio."

Whose face is the most "perfect," according to Dr. Schmid's measurements? No big surprise here! "Brad Pitt's is the highest [celebrity] that I've ever used the [formula] on," she says. "He was a 9.3."

Most people rate about 4 to 6. "There's never been anyone who was a perfect 10," Dr. Schmid says. "If you're out there, we're looking for you!"

How to have sex appeal

Financial Stability

Anyone who’s ever wondered if an older man’s companion is his daughter or his date knows attraction isn’t all biological. Sometimes, it’s logical.

During one study, researchers asked women to look at the face of a man whom she knows nothing about and rate his attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10. Then, they showed women the same face, but this time, the photo was paired with a corresponding income.

The results? When a man makes a lot of money, a woman will rate him higher on an attractiveness scale than she would rate that same man if he had a smaller income.

Dr. Berman says this doesn’t prove that women are gold diggers. “It goes back again to evolution. When we were having babies who were very dependent on us, we couldn’t hunt and take care of ourselves, so we were looking for the man who had the most social status, who was the best hunter, who was going to bring home the biggest chunk of meat for our babies,” she says. “It’s the same thing today.”

How to have sex appeal

If you're trying to consciously assess the future of a relationship, Dr. Berman says there's one surefire way—a kiss. "You really learn a lot from a kiss," she says. "You're seeing if you like the way he smells. All your senses are engaged, and you get a sense of his sensuality, his connection, whether he's a take-charge kind of guy or more of a stepping back kind."

In fact, Dr. Berman says 66 percent of women say they would dump a guy after a bad first kiss.

When it comes to relationships, Dr. Berman says kissing frequency is a direct indicator of happiness. "It turns out that couples who kiss and cuddle regularly are eight times less likely to be stressed and depressed than couples who don't get that," she says. "You have to have a minimum of a 10-second kiss every day."

As far as sex goes, the subject itself is appealing. But it seems that many guys have a difficult time increasing their sex appeal in all the ways that really matter to women. But today, all that’s going to change.

Sex appeal isn’t just about sex, as I’m sure you already know. The ladies want a man who has it together, both physically and mentally. So examine the following checklist and find out if you have what it takes to turn on just about any woman on Earth.

Phase I


If you don’t already, I recommend that you start working out and developing your muscles in order to look healthier and stronger. A fit man is equated with a healthy sex life. Believe it.


In keeping with that theory, shower every morning and make sure your clothes smell fresh. Applying cologne is great, just don’t drown yourself in it. Your objective should be to make sure that you smell clean without having to using Calvin’s help.


Open doors, be polite, smile, always let them go first. even if some women have that “feminist” attitude, over 80% of women will fall for your charms.

Dance moves

Women find men who can dance attractive; there’s no doubt about that. And while you don’t necessarily have to dance like you walked off of a music video set, some rhythm does impress women. They don’t call sex the “horizontal mambo” for nothing, you know.

Sex appeal works like a magic wand to attract men. Some women have it and some don’t. But every single woman has the necessary potential to build sex appeal. Find out in this article on how you can increase your sex appeal to date or attract men that you’ve always admire in your office or in college.

There are lots of elegant and subtle ways to augment or build your sex appeal. You don’t have to follow a typical hard way to increase your sex appeal. Some try hard to change their makeup, their hair or the way their dress to be more attractive but often fails to feel confident about themselves. Well, you don’t need to fake because sexiness is more of a state of mind. You don’t have to become excessively bold, or have to be uncomfortable in your own skin. If you can project your own meaning of sexiness, you will have much success to be increase your sex appeal and attract men.

How to have sex appeal

Projecting Her Own Meaning of Sexiness

Create Your Own Sexy Definition

Who do you consider sexy or what appeals sexy to you? These questions you should ask yourself to pick your own sexy definition. What’s sexy? Possibly, you may prefer something from your old school or maybe you love how R&B and hip hop artists dress themselves or just love the style of girls wearing short clothes. Just think about them for a little while and determine what you think is sexy and try to create something that is uniquely you.

Look For Sexiness in Action

If you’re still in doubt then look for a particular sexiness in action. For instance, you can think of Hollywood stylish icons like Marilyn Monroe for sexy femininity, or Audrey Hepburn for elegant beauty and so on. Look for supermodels or actresses that represent you style. You may adore Lady Gaga or Emma Stone, there are no rights or wrongs here, you can be inspired or motivated by anyone and it’s not necessary that they have to be famous.

How to have sex appeal

Sexiness in Action

Identify Your Personal Style

To truly be sexy, write down what are your hobbies, your interests, and your current clothing style? You don’t need to change completely. For instance if you like to wear Boho Chic now, you can easily personalize your style with something a little sexier. Clothing choices do matter when it comes to sex appeal to date or attract men. Discovering what’s in fashion right now and what you prefer wearing are the best ways to find out a personal style that works for you. There is no particular way, you got to be dynamic and try outfits that bring out your sex appeal without comprising on your comfort level. For instance, if you find leather sexy but do not like leather leggings then don’t wear them instead look for a leather blazer or jacket that bring out the sexy you.

Choose Pheromones to Attract Men

When it comes to fragrance, have you own collection of scents that smell great on you. To have long lasting effect on anyone that you want to attract, you can buy some pheromones to attract men and leave a waft of mild fragrance in the air as your walk past the man you like.

Lastly, remember that sex appeal has a lot to do with how you act, and not the way you look. That’s because sexiness comes from within.