How to have a good family life

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Welcome to the course on ”How to have a good family life and define your family values”

Improving your family life can help make your family members closer and prevent conflicts from getting in the way of everyone’s happiness. Fortunately, there are lots of concrete steps you can take to make your time with your family more enjoyable and fulfilling. Between working, cleaning, school, and sleeping, it can be hard to clear you schedule for fun family activities. Sometimes it can seem like there aren’t enough hours in the day to have fun with your children. Therefore, it’s important to eliminate the unnecessary time wasters in your life to increase your free time. You can also include your children in your daily chores by making them into games. If you examine your schedule carefully, you’ll find that you, too, can create free time from chaos.

Sometimes, your family might be a little obnoxious. However, no matter what they say, they really do love you. The problem can sometimes be loving them back. Learn from this course to understand how to love your family again! In today’s busy world, many families struggle to see each other as much as in previous generations. That does not mean that our need for family and unity has diminished, however. We are all still human, and most of us crave a unified family to identify, reminisce, and spend time with. That unity does not always come easily, though. You must communicate with each other, help each other, and spend time together to build the bonds and trust that must be present to have family unity.

Your values are your moral and ethical principles. Values are often a guide for the decisions you make and how you choose to live your life. You most likely have a pretty good sense of what your individual values are. It can be a little more complex to try to define your family values, since there are more people to consider. However, with reflection and communication, you can find effective ways to define your family values.

Experts reveal the key ingredients to a happy family life.

From the Brady Bunch and Partridge Family to the Cleavers, Cunninghams, and Cosbys, images of happy families have rarely been in short supply. We all have ideas about what they should look like.

Does yours fit the portrait of a happy family? If not, don’t despair. Now WebMD is letting you in on a few of the secrets to a happy family. You, too, can experience some of the domestic bliss that seemed previously reserved just for TV families.

Happy Family Secret No. 1: Enjoy Each Other

The essence of a happy family is that they truly uplift each other and that all comes down to how they treat each other, says Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, a New York-based family and relationship counselor and host of The Learning Channel’s Shalom in the Home. “There is a joy that characterizes their interaction,” says Boteach, father of eight children and author of several books, including the forthcoming Shalom in the Home. “Parents come home and the kids are happy to see them and when kids come home, the parents are happy to see them.”

Happy Family Secret No. 2: Swap Stories

“When your kids come home, ask them what happened in school and have a story for them,” he says. “If you come home dejected and not really interested and then five minutes later the TV is on, why would they be happy to see you?”

The bottom line, he says, is that when you come home, your kids have to come first. “You must drop everything you are doing and always come home with something to share with your kids, whether a story or even the smallest vignette,” he says. “This way you give your kids something to look forward to. The great bane of family life is boredom and that is what leads to dysfunction, affairs, and kids wanting to be with their friends over family.”

Happy Family Secret No. 3: Put the Marriage First

“Set a real example of love,” Boteach says. “The relationship and marriage must come first.” Think Carol and Mike Brady of the Brady Bunch and Cliff and Clair Huxtable of the Cosby Show.

There are many families where kids always come first, says Boteach. Then they become substitute providers of love, he says. “That’s an unfair burden to put on a kid.” It’s also bad for families, he says, “because kids will move out of the house eventually.”

Continued

Happy Family Secret No. 4: Break Bread Together

Families that eat together, stay together. It’s that simple. “Family dinners are essential,” Boteach says. “It’s a time to connect.” Have a minimum of four family dinners per week, he suggests.

Happy Family Secret No. 5: Play Together

“Have one or two unifying activities that the family does together on a nightly basis,” Boteach says. He suggests bedtime stories for young children or reading a chapter from a novel to an older child.

Happy Family Secret No. 6: Put Family Before Friends

“In happy families, family comes before friends,” he says, “The camp counselor understands something that parents don’t and that is that caring for kids also has to be fun. Give rules, but understand that kids need fun, too. When kids get bored and listless, they start looking for excitement out of the home and that is when friends become more important. Friendship is important, but subordinate to family.”

Happy Family Secret No. 7: Limit Children’s After-School Activities

Today, growing numbers of kids are overscheduled and participate in six or seven after-school activities per week. The mother becomes a chauffer and the children are never home at the same time. This is not a recipe for a happy family, Boteach says. “If your kids grow up not knowing how to do ballet, they will be OK. No after-school activities is an extreme and too many activities is the other extreme, but moderation is where we should aim.” Create your own after-school activities as a family, he suggests. For example, take your kids rollerblading, bike riding, or swimming after school as a family.

Happy Family Secret No. 8: Build and Honor Rituals

Families need rituals,” Boteach says. Rituals can be religious, national, or even family-specific, he says.

Barbara Fiese, PhD, professor and chair of psychology at Syracuse University in New York, agrees. “Happy families have meaningful rituals and are not stressed out by them,” she says. “They can be unique to your own family such as going for bagels on Saturday morning, a weekly pizza night, or even a family song. Rituals tend to bring family members close together because they are repeated over time.”

To work, rituals need to be flexible, she adds. “They can’t be rigid,” Fiese says. “If the bagel place is closed, you have to go someplace else.”

Continued

Happy Family Secret No. 9: Keep Your Voices Down

Remember that children thrive on stability. “There has to be a calm environment at home,” says Boteach. “Talk to your kids, give them strict rules, and punish children when necessary, but don’t lose control and yell. If you yell at kids, that shows you are out of control and you create a nonpeaceful environment.”

Happy Family Secret No. 10: Never Fight in Front of the Kids

TV viewers never really saw Carol and Mike Brady go at it, did they? While some fighting or bickering may be inevitable, try to keep it away from the children, Boteach says. “If your kids see you fight and argue, apologize and say, ‘We are sorry you had to see it. Daddy and I just had a disagreement, but everything is OK now.'”

Happy Family Secret No. 11: Don’t Work Too Much

All work and no play does worse things to a family than make it dull. “If you are away all the time and don’t prioritize your kids, your kids will internalize feelings of insecurity,” says Boteach. They’ll begin to believe that they’re not valuable enough.

Happy Family Secret No. 12: Encourage Sibling Harmony

Sibling rivalry can be divisive. “I try to speak to my kids about how fortunate they are to have siblings,” Boteach says.

Happy Family Secret No. 13: Have Private Jokes

Happy families have inside jokes, Syracuse’s Fiese says, “Jokes and nicknames symbolize that this is a group that you belong to and serves as a shorthand for larger experiences,” she says.

Happy Family Secret No. 14: Be Flexible

“This is easier said than done,” says Fiese. “But by their very nature, families change so you have to be open to change in membership and age,” Fiese says. “Somebody gets married, somebody dies, somebody remarries and teenagers are no longer children and young adults are no longer teenagers, but they are all still part of the family.”

Happy Family Secret No. 15: Communicate

Rose J. Perkins, EdD, associate professor of psychology at Stonehill College in Easton, Mass., says that a happy family communicate with one another. “Frequently families are set up where everyone tells the mom and then the mom sends the message, but in a happy family, there are more flexible, open lines of communication.”

In happy families, “all the members of family unit are able to communicate openly,” she says.

Improving your family life can help make your family members closer and prevent conflicts from getting in the way of everyone’s happiness.

To have a good family life, spend quality time with your family members by eating meals together, meeting up for holidays and birthdays, and forming traditions like going on a yearly vacation. You should also regularly let your family members know you love and appreciate them. When you’re with your family members, listen and be respectful, and try not to judge or criticize them. For tips on handling family conflicts in a healthy way, keep reading!

Respect what your family members have to say. When someone expresses an opinion, don’t dismiss it or interrupt them before they can finish speaking. Maintaining open, respectful communication channels will help your family develop trust and strengthen your bond.[1]

2.Avoid harsh criticism and judgments. Give each other permission to express emotions and act silly without fear of criticism or judgment. When people expect harsh judgment, they tend to bottle things up and avoid sharing their feelings.[2]

3.Listen to your family members actively. Active listening is when you absorb what the other person says and convey that you’re paying attention. Make eye contact with them, nod your head, and say things like, “I understand,” when appropriate. Just listen instead of planning on what you’ll say next, and don’t give advice or your opinion until the other person has finished.[3]

4.Express love and appreciation frequently. Little verbal and nonverbal gestures of affection go a long way. In addition to saying “I love you,” try to find small, specific ways to show you care for each other.[5]

5.Have upbeat weekly family meetings. A family meeting doesn’t have to be formal or focus solely on heavy topics. Every week, turn the TV off and put away the phones, and hang out with each other for an hour or so. Talk about the past week’s ups and downs, any upcoming events, and just shoot the breeze with each other.[6]

The aim is to encourage everyone to communicate freely, feel comfortable, and have fun with each other. Ask questions like, “What’s the funniest thing that happened to you this week?”

Do your best to make sure everyone participates equally. It might be difficult to get toddlers and teenagers actively engaged, but just try to keep the conversation flowing.

Spending Quality Time Together

Maintain daily and weekly family routines. Eat, go to sleep, and do regular family activities according to a predictable schedule. Routines and rituals help establish a family identify, reduce stress, and create a stable, comfortable environment.[7]

In addition to improving communication, regular family meetings can be a major part of your family routine.

2.Make celebrating birthdays and holidays together a family tradition. You don’t have to do the same thing every birthday or holiday.

3.Have meals together as often as possible. Parents work and kids have after school activities, so it’s tough to have breakfast and dinner together every day. However, do your best to eat together as often as possible. Family meals are a key routine and can help you stay involved in each other’s lives.[9]

When someone gets home from work or practice late, sit down with them while they have dinner, even if you’ve already eaten. Spending time together and having a conversation is more important than eating at the same time.

4.Set aside time for regular family activities. Regular activities could include bike rides, walks, or playing cards or board games. If possible, dedicate at least an afternoon or evening per week for a family activity. Keep it low-key, and focus on having fun together and enjoying each other’s company.[10]

5.Do household chores together. Few people actually enjoy doing chores, but sharing household responsibilities can help everyone in your family take pride in your home. Try to make it as fun as possible, su

Children flourish when they feel loved, nurtured and supported by a strong family. Every parent wants the best for their children and every family can thrive. Here are five key* ways that you can keep your family happy and strong.

  • Practice resilience. Managing life’s stressful moments, overcoming challenges, and taking care of yourself are all ways that you can build resilience.
    • Take time to care for your health and well being. Exercise, try to eat healthy foods, and take some time to relax. Everyone needs time to recharge. Schedule time for you at least once a week and ideally every day.
    • Manage your stress level. Stress can seem like the constant companion for parents who are juggling busy lives at work and at home. Even if you can’t get away from a stressful activity, try and take a few moments to take a “mental vacation” from the worries of the day.
  • Build your social network. It’s important to have people who you can talk to and connect with. Friends, family members, and neighbors can help you solve problems, provide encouragement, offer good parenting advice, and provide help when you need it most.
    • Join a parent support group or playgroup. Check the bulletin board at your pediatrician’s office, local community center, or search online for groups in your area.
    • Meet new people while doing something you enjoy. Sign up for something you like to do. Find a sport you like, join the book club at your local public library, or sign up for a class on something you have always wanted to do.
    • Smile and say hi. Making a connection with another parent, person, or a new friend can be as simple as being open and engaging him/her with a smile.

How to have a good family life

  • Ask for help. One of the most important ways to keeping your family strong, healthy, and happy is making sure that you can cover your basic needs, from diapers to daycare. Knowing where to find help and knowing people who can help you access support can make this process easier.
    • Map out your support system. Make a list of the people and places that you can go to for support. Use this list to help you when you face life’s inevitable challenges.
    • Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes we need help and sometimes we can help others. Sometimes all you need is for someone to share their experience and help you through a challenge.
  • Be a life-long learner. Parenting may be the hardest subject you’ll ever “study” but your natural strengths and all the wisdom you pick up along the way will help you raise and nurture a healthy and happy child.
    • Learn new information. Subscribe to an online parenting newsletter, read parenting magazines, or attend a parenting class. Learn more about your child’s development at onetoughjob.org/articles.
    • Reach out to the people in your social networks. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, share your experience and your struggles as a parent.
    • Share your knowledge of parenting with the world. Talk with family and friends about your parenting successes. Don’t be afraid to brag about something you did well or something new that you have learned.
  • Nurture your child’s social and emotional growth. Make sure that your children know that they are loved and respected, that they can talk about their feelings, and that you can help them work through any challenges that they may face.
    • Listen to your child and encourage her to express how she feels. Help your child problem solve by allowing her to make suggestions and think through problems she may encounter.
    • Show your love. Small, simple gestures everyday are the best ways to show your child you love him. For ten easy ways to show your child you love them click here.

*These five keys are based on years of research, study, and practice of the Strengthening Families model of the Center for the Study of Social Policy, and form the basis for our work at The Children’s Trust.

Behind the perfect family life that i hown on televiion creen, poter, and billboard, hidden variou complexitie and challenge beide the mile and cheerful laughter of family member. Every family live a

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Behind the perfect family life that is shown on television screens, posters, and billboards, hidden various complexities and challenges besides the smiles and cheerful laughter of family members. Every family lives a different life and their problems are different. Even so, everyone can enjoy the beauty of a family life as long as they are willing to try diligently to improve relationships, know themselves, and understand each other. Accept the fact that no family is perfect, but that anyone can enjoy a good family life.

Try to understand everyone who lives in the household as best you can. If there is no mutual understanding, there will often be misunderstandings and fights in the family. Take plenty of time to get together and learn to understand each other. Today, many families have daily lives that are so individualistic that they don’t know each other because they are too busy taking care of themselves. Make plans to get together and enjoy some quality time, such as watching a movie, playing a game, or simply having dinner together.

Be fair to everyone in the house. Maids and adopted children are equally entitled to feel the love and affection you give to or receive from your spouse and biological children. Family life will be more enjoyable if you always treat others the way you would like to be treated yourself.

Don’t discriminate.

Study compromise. When you or other family members disagree, try to find common ground to reach mutual agreement.

Give help to others. Help parents, spouse, siblings, or younger siblings if they need it, for example by opening the door or helping younger siblings who are completing school assignments.

Throw surprise birthday parties and celebrate family members’ successes so that they feel cared for and appreciated.

Don’t say words that offend or hurt the other person’s feelings as this can provoke anger.

Sometimes, teenagers feel sad or lonely. Pay attention by asking if he wants to share his feelings. If he refuses, that’s okay because it’s a hormonal symptom. If you catch a particularly risky situation, find out why by asking a close friend so you can help him.

Don’t break promises. This makes other people hurt or feel cheated. As a result, you will be perceived as a liar and not worthy of trust.

Be a capable person forgive other people.

Don’t punish too often. Punishment as a sanction that educates children to be more disciplined is beneficial, but don’t punish children arbitrarily.

Cultivate awareness of goodness in a good way. If a family member has made a mistake or doesn’t respect your trust, help him or her recognize the mistake in a kind way. Do not berate or use words that hurt him.

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Parents and their children are spending less time interacting with each other. As a result, many children are getting less personal love and attention than their parents did. American Demographics reported that parents today spend roughly 40 percent less time with their children than parents did a generation ago.

Keep in mind, quantity time and quality time are both important when choosing activities. So build memories by keeping your family time creative and enjoyable. Here are 10 tips to better family time.

1. Eat together and listen to each other.

Most children today don’t know the meaning of family dinnertime. Yet the communication and unity built in this setting are integral to healthy family life. Sharing a meal together allows the opportunity to talk about each other’s lives. This is a time for parents to listen as well as to give advice and encouragement. Attentive listening conveys that you are interested in one another. It also imparts a sense of worth and helps develop trust.

2. Read often.

Research indicates that reading to your children cultivates an interest in knowledge and stimulates language development. It also increases their attention spans and helps them become more curious. Look for books your child would enjoy reading. After reading, ask questions about the content.

3. Do chores together.

Part of what goes on in the home is the development of teamwork. Functional family life depends on the contribution of everyone. Assigning chores is the most productive way of teaching responsibility and accountability to your children. Doing chores with your child will help foster good communication skills.

4. Help with schoolwork.

Spend quality time with children by helping with their schoolwork. A parent’s eagerness to help will cause a child to become more interested in school, improving his or her grades. Regular trips to the library for school projects are inexpensive and enjoyable for spending time with children. Helping should begin with an understanding that children are responsible for homework. Parents are there to help their children get organized and to encourage them when they get stuck.

5. Start a hobby or project.

Choose a fun activity your child is interested in. Activities like cooking, crafts, fishing, or biking will make great hobbies that can open the door to exciting family time. Once a child learns a new recipe or is able to cast a lure accurately, let him or her take the lead with your supervision.

6. Play games.

New technology has made video games more prevalent. Play with them, but also spark an interest in board games or card games. This will give you additional time to talk and nurture the relationship.

7. Plan a family outing.

Sometimes getting out of the house is important. Get in the car and go for a drive. Prepare a picnic lunch and visit a local park. Take time to play catch or ride a bike. A stroll in the woods will help you interact. Also, a visit to the zoo or museum may spark a child’s enthusiasm and lead to good discussions.

8. Encourage athletic activities.

Playing sports not only strengthens the body but also builds character and determination. Finding time for athletic events is important for a child’s emotional and physical development. This is also a great opportunity for a family to interact.

9. Create a “family time” calendar.

Since many parents have hectic schedules, time with children often becomes a low priority. Post a calendar on the refrigerator and help your children pencil in special events. Knowing in advance when you’re going to meet may help by giving you more time to think of creative activities. Commit to keeping this schedule free from interruptions.

10. Pray together and attend worship.

Nothing is more special than taking a few minutes each day to pray with a child before bedtime. Nothing is more special than taking a few minutes each day to pray with a child before bedtime. By explaining the purpose behind prayer, children will learn the importance of faith as the foundation for the family. Also, when parents go to religious services, they instill in their children a reverence for God. Churches can also offer invaluable support to families.

Sound off: What are your favorite family time activities?

Huddle Up Question

Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are some ways we could spend more time together as a family?”

How to have a good family life

What does it take to create a happy family, when modern life threatens to overwhelm us? Here are six secrets of Happy Families that you can easily put to use in your own home to create a joyful and connected family, where everyone flourishes and even the teenager treasures family time.

Dinner: 30 Minutes to a More Connected Family

You’ve probably heard that having dinner together as a family is a good thing for your kids, but you may not realize that it could change your child’s life. Dinner is the best predictor we have of how kids will do in adolescence. The more frequently kids eat dinner with their families, the better they do in school, and the less likely they are to become sexually active, suffer depression, get involved with drugs or alcohol, or consider suicide.

Why Kids Need Routines & Structure

Kids thrive on routines and structure. A predictable routine allows children to feel safe, develop self-discipline. and gain a sense of mastery in handling their lives. Here’s how.

Surviving Arsenic Hour

One of the reasons kids have meltdowns at the end of the day is that they’re hungry and tired. The other is that it’s hard work for little people to keep it together all day in the face of all those developmental challenges. The minute they see you, their “executive self” relaxes, and their “baby self” comes out to seek comfort from Mom and Dad. Be ready to be emotionally present for your kids, and you’ll stave off some meltdowns and set a pleasant tone for the evening.

Getting Your Child Out the Door In the Morning

What does a four year old need in the morning? Well, everyone is different, but most of us need some time to make the transition from sleep into busy activity; most kids balk at feeling pushed. Most four year olds need to “do it myself.” Most four year olds want to make their own decision about when their body needs to pee. And I’ve never met a four year old who understands why that meeting Mom has to get to is more important than whether he can find his toy car.

The Family That Plays Together

From the infectious fun of side-splitting laughter to the exuberance of an impromptu pillow fight, infusing a spirit of joy and playfulness into your home nurtures your family like little else.

Family Meetings

Does the idea of Family Meetings seem stilted and artificial to you? It certainly did to me, when I first heard about it. But once we tried them, we loved them. They create connection. They give you a way to work things out when everyone’s calm. They help your kids learn to solve problems. They help kids feel like integral members of the family. They even help siblings work things out and appreciate each other.

Protective Parenting

Parents have always grappled with harsh realities to protect their children. But our culture poses risks that are difficult to navigate, because they aren’t obviously dangerous. In fact, we take them for granted as we go about our busy lives.

Sanctuary: Making Your Home a Haven

To flourish, we all need a safe place — both physically and emotionally — to come home to. If children are to turn their full attention to the many demands of growing up, they need a secure, solid home where they feel protected. Giving your children a sanctuary is an enormous gift. It allows them to go out and do battle in the world, and return home to recharge. It also gives your family culture the cozy nest it needs to thrive. Finally, research shows that adults who consciously create homes where they find nurturance and beauty report better moods and less stressful lives.

Family Culture: Shared Identity & Belonging

How do you hold a family together? How do you make kids WANT to spend time with the family? How do you give your children the motivation to work things through with their siblings and with you? Much of the answer has to do with the family culture you create. Every family has one. What’s yours?

Divorce: How to Protect Your Child

If you’re getting divorced, you’ll be heartened to know that the research shows kids can cope with a divorce and come out ok. But often they don’t. In fact, many children whose parents make the decision to divorce are emotionally wounded in a way that lingers throughout their lives. The good news is that we know what the risk factors are that leave kids scarred. Here’s how to protect your child.