How to dump a girl

How to dump a girl

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Every relationship has its ups and downs.

There are always moments when you question if you want to stay, but sometimes you know it is time to leave and move on. Don’t just dump and go – or worse, just stop showing up and returning calls or messages – that is not only rude, it is mean and immature. You need to learn how to leave her while staying classy. The proper way to dump her preserves both of your dignity, your boundaries and will have an impact on your future dating life.

1. Why would it affect the future?

Face it, when you are dating the stories of the past relationships and how they ended are always going to come out. While you may not remain friends with all your exes, being able to describe an ending that you took care with to preserve dignity and to show respect to your ex will go far with your new one. How we leave things says as much about us as how we begin them, sometimes even more.

2. Make sure you are sure

Before you dump her, make sure this is what you really want to do. Don’t dump her because you are angry – you will not be angry forever. Think this decision through because it has to be forever. While movies are all about second chances, in real life the emotional hurt from being dumped runs too deep for a second chance unless there is a good twenty years in-between the dumping and the trying again.

3. Understand your responsibility

Your responsibility is to be clear that you do not want to continue the relationship. You do not have a responsibility to make her OK with this, or to make her feel better about it. That doesn’t mean you can’t be comforting or kind, but it does mean that there is a limit to the comfort and support you can be expected to offer.

4. Do it right

In your exit plan, a large part of the classy way to leave her involves dumping her properly – by the right media.

This means in person, or at least by phone.

  • Don’t do it by text.
  • Don’t do it by email (unless totally necessary)
  • Don’t do it on social media

You can dump someone by email if one of two things is true:

  1. There is distance involved (as in over 3 hours’ drive).
  2. There is a question of safety (dump the wet hair and crazies by email, yes).

5. Set boundaries

Setting boundaries means dumping someone means you dump someone. While lots of people talk about ‘staying friends,’ the reality is that you do need a period of time when you are not in contact to allow both of you to put the relationship to rest. You may very well start up a friendship later, but it will have to come from someplace (and for some reason) that is entirely new.

6. Mind your social media

Social media is where a lot of life happens these days and it is easy to be a little careless with what you post after you dump someone. Even if you have moved on, be classy. This isn’t just about protecting her feelings; it’s about showing what kind of man you are.

  • Don’t post about how glad you are
  • Don’t post about a new relationship if you are still “friends” with your ex online
  • Don’t reveal personal information about the relationship

The proper way to dump her includes being respectful of the “grieving period,” even if you are all set. Believe it or not, a lot of people (and women) will notice and you will get good points for this behavior.

How to dump a girl

If you know that your girlfriend is wrong for you, then it is time to end the relationship. That can sound easy at first, but can be very difficult to execute, especially if you are afraid of breaking her heart. However, the worst thing that you can possibly do is drag on a relationship if you are unhappy. Learn how to break up with someone with decency, tact, maturity and caring.

Explain your reason for wanting to break up with clarity. Breaking up with a girlfriend with vague and convoluted reasoning can just leave her upset, paranoid and more confused. Before breaking up with her, take a long hard look at your thought process and examine your true reasons. Make sure your decision is truly how you feel. Whether you feel you are taking different paths in life or fight too much, be honest and open with her about your reason to terminate the relationship for good.

Firmly close the door on the relationship. One mistake people often make when breaking up is leaving hope that the relationship might have a future again someday, even when it doesn’t. Avoid giving your girlfriend false hope about the future if you intend on breaking up permanently. This will only lead to hurt feelings and more heartache for her in the end.

Avoid breaking up on the phone. Break up with your girlfriend face-to-face, in person. Breaking up through a phone call can come across as heartless, impersonal and just plain rude. Make the effort and take the time to do so in person. This will show her that you value your former relationship enough to speak to her in person.

End the relationship as soon as you realize it is over. As soon as you determine that the relationship has no future and is going nowhere, break up with your girlfriend. Remaining in a relationship you want to flee is unhealthy and can leave you with feelings of resentment and suffocation. Stringing your girlfriend along is also selfish. Avoid wasting your time and hers. Break up with her as soon as you come to your realization.

Break up with your girlfriend privately. Breakups can be very emotional situations. Provide your girlfriend with the dignity of a quiet and private location when you break up with her, whether it is at your house or in a quiet nook of a park. Avoid taking her to a romantic spot (such as a favorite restaurant), however, as that could mislead her into thinking that everything is fine between the two of you.

Guys, are you ever unsure of whether your relationship is working for you? Do you sometimes think that you hate your own girlfriend? If you’re unsure, the answer is usually YES! Here are 17 signs that you need to dump your girlfriend.

17. She insists on frequently talking to her ex-boyfriends.

If she insists on “keeping in touch” with her exes more than the appropriate amount, it’s time to give her the boot. She’ll be nothing but trouble for you!

16. She keeps “forgetting” to take the pill.

She conveniently forgets to take the pill on more than a few occasions. It’s a trap! Get out of there while you still can!

15. The sex has gone south.

The sex has gone drastically downhill. You have sex for the hell of it rather than for the pleasure. There’s nothing new in the bedroom and you’re stuck in the same boring rut. Missionary, get on top, turn over, go to sleep. Yawn! .

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14. You’re forced to celebrate monthly anniversaries.

She insists that you celebrate anniversaries each month and she goes crazy at you when you forget. Nobody needs this. The only guys worse off than you is the one with super-crazy girlfriend who makes him celebrate WEEK anniversaries!

13. She has in depth conversations with you about her period.

She forces you to sit down and listen to her lengthy spiel about her menstrual cycle. Come on – a bit of mystery is nice. Guys don’t have to, need to, or WANT to know about what goes on during her time of the month.

12. She comes between you and your friends.

When your girlfriend starts to come between you and your oldest friends, it’s time to call it a day. You’ll have your friends for life. Nobody wants the girl who breaks up a bromance for the sake of her romance.

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11. She hacks into your email or Facebook.

She is highly insecure and checks your Facebook and emails when you’re not around. She’s not above checking your texts on your phone when you’ve left the room.

10. You found a GPS tracker underneath your car.

You didn’t quite catch her doing it but who else could it be? Don’t fool yourself into thinking that she’s not capable of that. She is!

9. The sound of her voice starts to annoy you.

Her voice used to give you butterflies in your stomach, but now it sounds like someone repeatedly swinging a bag of cats against a brick wall.

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8. She disrespects you publicly.

She makes a fool out of you in your local supermarket or mocks you in front of your friends. Get rid!

7. She’s gained an enormous amount of weight since you started dating.

We’re not talking a couple of pounds here. But if she’s put on a couple of stone with no sign of it going away, it’s a good sign of things to come. Get out of there, she’s gonna blow!

6. You avoid her phone calls.

You see her name appear on your phone and either sigh, roll your eyes or break down in tears.

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5. You make excuses not to hang out with her.

You avoid hanging out with your girlfriend at all costs. You’ll actually choose studying for an exam or babysitting your little brother just to have an excuse for not spending time with her.

4. Her condescending attitude.

She talks down to you and has developed a twist of bitch-itis. All she does is nag at you for hours upon end. Her voice feels like a woodpecker constantly penetrating your brain.

3. Sex becomes infrequent and is only offered as a “reward.”

You rarely get any action any more. Her sex drive is awful and she only uses sex as a “reward” if you do something good to “earn” it.

2. You’re increasingly fighting with one another.

You find yourselves arguing more and more. There used to be an argument every couple of weeks followed by some intense lovey-dovey makeup sex. Now you argue almost on a daily basis and there’s no makeup sex.

1. You are unhappy being in a relationship with her.

If you are actually unhappy being in a relationship with her, getting sick of the sight of her, cry yourself to sleep at night and find yourself plotting about ways to get rid of her, it’s definitely time to dump your girlfriend.

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How to dump a girl

210

My BPD is somewhat friends with a bunch of my friends. Most of the dudes just want to **** her, I don’t think any of my female friends actually like her and a lot of the dudes realize she’s insane. Her best friend’s dad is a professor that I work with.

She’s the vengeful kind of girl when it comes to breakups, unfortunately. With the beginning of the semester quickly approaching, I have no real interest in continuing to date this girl as she’s a manipulative b1tch who needs a bf-psychiatrist in order to have a relationship.

So, what do I do? How do I let ‘er down gently? Or is this even possible?

How to dump a girl

Captain

Master Don Juan

Uberguy

Senior Don Juan

One surefire way would be to treat her like gold. Do EVERYTHING she wants you to. Smother her with attention. Tell her you love her until she can’t stand you anymore.

If she’s BPD, I guarantee she’ll be cheating on you in a month. And then she’ll be some other guy’s problem.

snowdog

Master Don Juan

Living proof that no matter how bad you start out, you can become awesome.

blueline

Senior Don Juan

One surefire way would be to treat her like gold. Do EVERYTHING she wants you to. Smother her with attention. Tell her you love her until she can’t stand you anymore.

If she’s BPD, I guarantee she’ll be cheating on you in a month. And then she’ll be some other guy’s problem.

How to dump a girl

“If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It’s fantastic!”

blueline

Senior Don Juan

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan

I have no real interest in continuing to date this girl

Which is ironically why she is drawn to you. BPDs get off on abandonment, so they choose men who are inevitably going to leave them. If the guy doesn’t leave, they try to drive him away and then just leave themselves if necessary. Re-experiencing traumatic childhood abandonment is the point of her existence.

blueline

Senior Don Juan

I have no real interest in continuing to date this girl

Which is ironically why she is drawn to you. BPDs get off on abandonment, so they choose men who are inevitably going to leave them. If the guy doesn’t leave, they try to drive him away and then just leave themselves if necessary. Re-experiencing traumatic childhood abandonment is the point of her existence.

I kind of want to hurt this girl yet I’m afraid of the backlash. Last week, when I basically broke up with her (but then made up 8 hours later), she came running out to my car sobbing as I left. I don’t want her ****ing my best friend/wingman with NPD. I feel as if this is an inevitability at this point, though. I’m gonna lose my best friend to this girl and this is the main reason I haven’t broken up with her yet. I’ve wanted to break up with her ever since I first ****ed her. I knew she was completely bat**** insane.