Have you ever liked someone, and wasn’t sure how to go about it? Maybe you’ve thought about going up and talking to him, or maybe you talk to him every day. Maybe you’ve had a crush in the past you did something with your “liking” that you wish you did differently.
The good news is, with God, nothing is ever wasted. Not even our mistakes or the things we wish we could do-over. Everything — yes, everything — can be used as a learning lesson to teach you more about yourself, show you more about what you want in someone someday, and especially grow you in maturity about ways to better handle a crush in the future.
So for the girls out there who have a crush on someone or will have a crush in the future, this is for you!
Dos and Don’ts: How To Deal With A Crush
Don’t define yourself based on whether or not he likes you back.
Placing your identity in your crush is like looking at your crush as if he were a mirror- as if however he saw you were your true reflection. His approval or disapproval of you is not a wise way to measure yourself-worth.
If he has a girlfriend, it doesn’t mean you are not desirable; if he’s known you forever but has yet to pursue you, it doesn’t mean you are not worthwhile; and if he doesn’t know you, it doesn’t mean you aren’t a wonderful person worth getting to know.
Do be careful when it comes to talking about him.
Sometimes you need to talk it out and share how you feel with someone. People such as your mom, your sister, or your closest girlfriend(s) are usually pretty safe bets of people worth confiding in.
Be cautious of who you share about him with. Don’t talk about him to everyone you know, and don’t willingly give away personal information about who you like. Not everyone is trustworthy of your heart or deserving of that private knowledge. Be careful about talking about him excessively. It can be a drain on others to constantly hear about who you like.
This makes your crush an idol, and it becomes much bigger than it should be.
Don’t do things like stress out over when you’ll see him again, overanalyze every conversation you’ve ever had with him, let him dwell on your mind throughout class, etc.
Don’t try and figure out with your closest friends if his gestures and facial expressions meant he’s interested in you or not, and definitely don’t beat yourself up over little mistakes you may have made around him. We have a jealous God, and He wants to be central in our hearts!
Do give it to God.
Take all of your thoughts, hopes, excitement, concerns, and energies and commit them in prayers or a prayer journal. God is quick to listen and never gets tired of hearing from you, no matter how much you feel like you’re praying the same thing!
I once heard a friend say, “have you prayed about it as much as you’ve talked about it?” Leave everything in His capable hands and lay it all down, including all feelings towards your crush. Take captive your thoughts and give them over to God. 2 Corinthians 10:5!
Don’t invest emotional energy into the crush.
Getting invested emotionally can cause so much unnecessary heartache and can make you feel pain as if you were in a relationship with him. If you downplay the daydreaming and don’t feed the crush, your emotions become much less involved.
Because a crush is not “yours”, what happens if he were to get in a relationship with someone else? Looking at a guy as if he were yours is nothing but a dangerous way to handle a crush. Be gentle on your heart!
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” -Proverbs 4:23
Do acknowledge him.
Be sure to acknowledge your crush. Treat him like a casual friend: say hi when you pass him, ask him how he’s doing when you see him, smile at him. Show some interest in him as a person.
Don’t intentionally ignore or avoid him, even if you are nervous about talking to him. It could give off the impression you don’t like him as a person, and you don’t want your crush thinking that, do you?
Don’t pursue him.
Why do us girls feel like we need to take things into our own hands in order to “make it happen” with guys we like? It’s okay to initiate things some, but if you’re the one putting forth all the work every time, it’s obviously a one-sided deal.
Be careful not to give your heart away to someone who isn’t reciprocating it back. Let him be the one who makes an effort to be in your life. How will you ever know if someone is truly interested in you if you don’t let him pursue you?
Do make your own choices, regardless of your crush’s choices.
In college, I once joined a club because of the guy I liked. I figured being in an organization with him would guarantee that I’d get to be around him. Ironically, I also avoided a certain church God called me to for a while because he went there and I didn’t want it to come off like I was “following” him.
My advice is this: join the clubs you want to and go to the church you want to. Don’t let your decision on where you go be about a guy and if he’ll be there or not. If God wants him in your life, He will make a way on His own! If not, trust that He has better in store for you.
Don’t Let Your Social Media Guard Down.
Be careful about how you go about social media when you have a crush. Don’t go crazy liking his pictures, don’t stalk his accounts to learn more about him, and don’t dwell on things he posts: it unhealthily feeds the crush and gives you the impression you know him more than you do.
Doing things like this only leads to jealousy and discontentment. Make sure you are good friends with him before posting any pictures with him if you post at all. Are you simply wanting the appearance of being around a certain guy? Check your motives before posting, and really put it into consideration to see if it’s worth sharing.
So no matter how big or small the crush is, take comfort in being able to give it all over to God and trust He’s in control over every little detail you may worry about, no matter how small you think it might be. God is for you, and He will withhold no good thing from you!
Hello! My name is Bonnie and I’m a senior English Education major. In college, I love being a resident assistant and writing tutor as well as other campus involvements! My favorite ways to spend free time are through writing, being with friends and family and growing closer to the Lord.
brittney gibson aug 19, 2016
The butterfly feeling you get when the person you ' re crushing on likes you back is hands down one of the most amazing feelings in the world.
And that sinking feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when your crush doesn ' t like you back is probably one of the worst.
(Photo Credit: Aleshyn_Andrei via Shutterstock)
But, that ' s life. Sometimes, feelings are mutual. And, sometimes, they ' re not. And while the pain of not being liked back may sting briefly, you may find that these situations will make you a stronger, more independent you.
If the feelings from your crush aren ' t being reciprocated, we ' re here to help you keep your cool with these seven easy steps.👆
1. Don ' t Force Anything
If the person you ' re crushin ' on has expressed that they ' re not interested in you in the same way, then let it go. The worst thing you can do at this point is build up false hope that something could still happen. Accept that you two might just be made to be friends and recognize that you deserve someone who knows they like you for you! You shouldn ' t have to do any convincing.
2. Put Yourself in Their Shoes
It may be hard, but respect your crush ' s decision and be thankful that they didn ' t lead you on. Consider what you would do if you were them. Haven ' t you ever thought an individual was super great, but you weren ' t interested in being more than friends with them? If that ' s how your crush feels about you, you can ' t blame them, it happens sometimes.
(Photo Credit: Andrew Guillem via Shutterstock)
3. Still Be Friendly
Just because the person you like doesn ' t like like you, it doesn ' t mean you have to totally eliminate them from your life. In fact, if you guys started out as friends, there ' s absolutely no reason why you shouldn ' t try and maintain a friendship. You don ' t have to be besties, but this person obviously meant or means a lot to you, so be kind and understanding and do your best to be friendly. They ' ll love that you ' re being the bigger person. 😊
4. Focus on Other Relationships
Real talk: Why stress about this relationship, when you probably have a dozen other ones that will have a more positive influence on your life?! Spend time with the ones who know and love you best, i.e. your besties, your family and even your pets. By spending time with them, you ' ll easily be reminded of what a catch you are, and your sadness will melt away.
(Photo Credit: Zurijeta via Shutterstock)
5. Focus on You
Guess what, as clich é as it may sound, it ' s really their loss, not yours. You already have so much going for you, so instead of letting your sadness get the best of you, focus on all of your amazing qualities and do activities that make you feel happy and empowered. Go on a run, paint your nails or call a friend. You are your No. 1 priority right now, and that ' s pretty awesome.
6. Distract Yourself
If you ' re still feeling a little blue, the best solution is to distract yourself from anything that will make you think of your crush. Try finding a show to binge watch on Netflix, pick up a new hobby, read a book or just spend some quiet time doing yoga or meditating. Cleanse your thoughts of your crush and you ' ll feel infinitely better.
(Photo Credit: Mita Stock Images via Shutterstock)
7. Move on
Above all, just know that you can and will move on. Trust us when we say that you ' ll have many more crushes and crushees in your life. So, maybe this one didn ' t work out, but there could be a nicer, smarter person just around the corner who will be completely smitten by you.
If you ' re not quite sure yet if your crush likes you back, check out THESE five simple signs that the feelings might be mutual.
You spend a lot of time daydreaming about your crush. You even talk about him so much your friends are getting a little annoyed. You work up the courage to finally tell him how you feel about him. only for him to say the words you hoped you'd never hear, "I like someone else."
Ugh. You understandably feel crushed and rejected. It's easy to start thinking, "What does she have that I don't have?" or, "I'm better for him than she is," imaging yourself as the equivalent of Taylor Swift in her "You Belong With Me" music video. But hold on—it's completely normal to feel upset, but you shouldn't project those feelings onto the other person your crush likes. Here's why.
You can't control your crush's feelings
In the same way that you either like someone or you don't, your crush has feelings that are beyond your control. It hurts to know that he doesn't return your feelings, but don't try to change yourself to get him to like you. Would you really want your crush to like you when you weren't acting like yourself? If your crush doesn't like the real you, it's time to move on. even though it's hard.
The other girl did nothing wrong
The girl your crush likes did nothing except be liked by a boy. This is not her fault. Even if she likes him back and they start dating, she did nothing except like a boy—just like you did. She's not your enemy or competition, she's just another girl your crush happens to like.
It's not that girl's fault that you feel hurt
Chances are, this girl did not start dating this boy to hurt your feelings. He liked her and she liked him back. You feel hurt because your crush likes someone who isn't you, but she did nothing to try to hurt you.
So, here's what you can do to process your feelings instead of projecting them onto the person your crush likes:
Don't take it as a personal insult
Your crush not liking you back doesn't mean you're undateable. Everyone has their own reasons for liking someone in a romantic way. If someone doesn't view you that way, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or that you have to change. That person doesn't view you as a potential girlfriend for whatever reason, but you're still awesome.
Write about it
It's OK to feel upset but instead of bottling up your feelings or insulting the other girl to your friends, try writing about how you feel. It will help you get all of your thoughts and feelings out without hurting someone else.
Focus on you + the things you love
It might hurt to see your crush with the girl he likes, but don't focus on that. Distract yourself by focusing on yourself and the things you love. Play your favorite sport. Spend time with your friends (and talk about something other than your crush). Do the things you enjoy and you'll remember you don't need your crush to like you back in order to be happy.
When you have a crush on someone, you want to be around that person all the time and always dream about you two become a sweet couple. But what if things take another direction? What if you do not get that person's attention or worse what if your crush just ignores you. Surely, it is devastating. But here we get all the tips you need to get this situation right under control.
What to Do If Your Crush Ignores You
Wait and see
If you crush on somebody and make your intention clear, they may first ignore you to make sure they do not misinterpret the signals you send, to overcome the shyness, or to digest this whole thing properly. This is not a bad thing. Just be cool and give that person short but warm smiles when you catch each other's eyes. If that special one is also interested, he or she will approach you after some time.
Put in more efforts
If you dream of having a future relationship with your crush, at least one of you should be putting some efforts, and in this case that would be you. Even if your crush is ignoring you, continue talking to him or her the way you would normally do. For example, if you are classmates, continue talking about your group projects and assignments.
It is totally normal to get angry and feel so much hurt if your crush ignores you. It is one of the worst feelings one could ever experience, especially for a girl. Resist the feeling of getting angry and frustrated; instead, transform that negative energy into positive one by improving yourself and wishing good things for your crush especially if you two belong to the same group of friends. That is a great tip of what to do if your crush ignores you because you try to draw his or her attention with a better version of you.
Keep it casual
If your emotions for your crush are too obvious, he or she might get scared and try really hard to avoid you. So be causal, have patience and make things progress gradually. For example, if you are classmates in Spanish class, instead of asking her for dinner alone like having a date, you can casually ask her to have some snacks by saying “Spanish class is fun, but it really drives me nuts. Do you want to go to the newly opened food park? I heard they serve good enchiladas.”
Play the "ignore" game
What to do if your crush ignores you? Just ignore them back smartly and tactically. For a few days, show how badly you want to talk to them, try to call or text them and send them various gifts. Then disappear suddenly. Stop calling, don’t even look at them when you pass by, hang out with other friends happily and make sure your crush see how happy you are. This contrast will definitely make your crush think about you and be curious enough to approach you and ask what's going on. Better, this may make your crush jealous and realize his or her true feelings for you.
Be with your friends
If your crush ignores you, your mood will definitely be affected. Getting around with your friends can distract you from it for some time and fuel you with positive energies. Besides, friends will always be there to listen and to help you find more ways to attract your crush or help you forget and move on.
Don’t let it get to you
Being ignored by a crush will make you feel like there is something terribly wrong with you. You may experience shame and low self-esteem issues, but don’t let it consume you and always remember there is nothing wrong with you. Do take care of yourself, continue doing the things that make you happy and strive harder to achieve your goals.
Have a face to face talk
Another tip on what to do if your crush ignores you is to have an open and sincere talk. Set a place and time so that you can sit down and talk comfortably. If your crush refuses to talk to you, pick an appropriate time to approach him or her and the best time is when he or she is alone and doesn't rush to anywhere. It will really take a lot of courage from you to go straight up to your crush, confess your feelings and ask why you are ignored. Get ready for all kinds of answers, especially those that will hurt your feelings.
Know when to let go of a crush
Ignoring you is kind of a clear sign that your crush is not into you but you can still make one more try to make things work. However you really should let go and move on if the followings happen:
If your crush is dating someone else. Doing something to break up a couple is a big no-no.
If all those close to you and your crush tell you that you should back off. As the saying goes, the onlookers see clearly.
If your crush is mean to you. There is no reason to stay with someone who looks down on you and treats you badly.
If you’ve done everything and still nothing happens, it’s time to let go. The sooner you let go, the sooner you move on.
meghan lamontagne oct 3, 2017
We ' ve seen it happen on TV time and time again—the epic love triangle.
Betty loves Archie, but Archie falls for Betty ' s best friend Veronica. It ' s a heartbreaking situation, especially when it ' s happening to you IRL.
Here are five ways to deal when your crush falls for your BFF.
The love triangle begins…. #Riverdale
A post shared by Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) on Jul 25, 2016 at 10:37am PDT
1.Talk To Your Best Friend
Because your best friend knows all of your secrets, it ' s certainly no secret they know about your crush. Chances are your BFF already feels bad about the entire situation. Be open and honest and talk to them about how bummed you are. If they truly are your bestie, they will listen to you and take your feelings to heart.
2. Don ' t Hold a Grudge
Sure, you are feeling angry and hurt towards your crush for liking your best friend. Those feelings are valid. But, you can ' t be mad at them. They aren ' t trying to cause you pain on purpose. You also shouldn ' t be mad at your best friend because technically they didn ' t do anything wrong either. It ' s an unfortunate love triangle, but no one is trying to purposefully hurt your heart.
This guy ☝🏻#Riverdale
A post shared by Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) on Oct 5, 2016 at 8:10pm PDT
3. Be Honest
This one takes some bravery. Perhaps your crush has no idea you are into them. A little honesty never hurt anyone. As long as you come from a calm, cool and honest place of telling your crush about your feelings, it can ' t harm the situation. Best case scenario, they may have needed to know that in order to catch feelings for you. Worst case, the feelings are not reciprocated, but there is a mutual respect.
4. Don ' t Compare Yourself
If your crush still likes your BFF after you were honest with both parties, don ' t compare yourself to your best friend. They are your bestie for a reason. You are both loyal and both care about each other, and sure, you both may even crush on the same person. Know that you are just as fantastic as your best friend. You shouldn ' t change who you are to be more like your bestie just because they ' re admired by someone you wish you were dating.
5. Know There Is Someone for You
As much as you want your crush to be the one for you, the truth is there will be someone else. You will crush again, we promise. There will be someone who values exactly who you are and what you bring to the table. Trust that in time everything will work out and your current situation is just a little rough patch.
Wishing the happiest of birthdays to my pal, Cole. 💃🏼
A post shared by Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) on Aug 4, 2016 at 6:50am PDT
Crushing on someone is exhilarating. That is, if the feeling is mutual. If not, things can get really confusing really fast. How many times have we had to listen to a friend go on and on about the guy or gal they like, trying to figure out if that person likes them back? Newsflash: if you have to question it, odds are, they’re probably just not that into you. Or worse, they may just be stringing you along, with no plan to turn a situationship into a relationship. Hey, it’s better to know than to waste your time, right? If you’re looking for some concrete signs your crush just isn’t into you, read on. Just remember: there are plenty of fish in the sea. If this crush isn’t into you, it’s on to the next! And if you’re still confused about whether someone likes you or not, just ask. Sometimes, it’s best to hear it from the horse’s mouth.
Does my crush like me? Signs they’re probably not interested:
1. There’s inconsistent, limited, or no communication.
“If your person isn’t talking to you or is barely talking to you, they’re probably not your person,” says relationship expert and author Rachel Wagner. This includes late-night calls only, never calling you back, and just taking forever to reply. If they appear flaky or not invested, they probably are. Same goes if the person ghosts you, even if it’s only temporary. If someone really likes you, they are excited to share with you about their day, their life, and when they’re seeing you next. There’s no fun in trying to track down your crush, so if it seems like this is constantly the case, they may not be interested in you.
2. They’re unavailable, emotionally or otherwise.
This is a sign that your crush isn’t interested that’s commonly seen in the dating app world. If, when you do talk, all the person wants to do is talk and they aren’t trying to actually get together, that means they don’t want to. “Some people are just looking for penpals,” says Wagner. The bottom line is if people want to spend time with you, they will. When someone is excited and interested in pursuing something romantic, they will go out of their way to do it. “If they’re avoiding it, they aren’t interested because everyone makes time for what they want,” she says.
3. They constantly seem distracted.
The person who really likes you will show you his or her full attention, without letting distractions get in the way, explains Kevon Owen, a clinical psychotherapist and relationship counselor. Whether that be work, friends, or even constantly being on their phone, someone who is constantly distracted isn’t making it a priority to be present with you.
4. They take no accountability.
“If you can’t talk to this person about your feelings without them calling you insecure or if you ask them for something and they don’t do it, they don’t care enough,” explains Wagner. “This person isn’t taking you seriously.” And if they don’t think about you or want to make you happy, then the writing may be on the wall: They probably don’t want you.
5. They don’t laugh at your jokes.
Someone who really likes you for you, including your quirky sense of humor, will make an effort to show it. “If your crush doesn’t laugh at your jokes, regardless of how funny they are, that’s a telltale sign they’re not into you,” says relationship expert and life coach Stacy Caprio. “When someone is into you, they’ll be smiling just being around you, and if you try to be funny, they’ll appreciate it and it’ll be easy for them to laugh. If they don’t really care about you, they won’t bother to smile or laugh.”
6. They’re inconsiderate.
Whether it’s being difficult about seeing you on their own time or not taking into account your likes, dislikes, and feelings, someone who doesn’t take the time to factor your needs into a relationship is someone who is clearly not interested, says Wagner. Late-night booty calls are not attempts to hang out and only eating where they want to is not romantic. Someone who likes you will go out of their way to be both mindful and considerate of you—in all aspects of life.
7. They subconsciously put up barriers between you.
“People who like each remove any obstacles between them,” says Dr. Jack Schafer in a post for Psychology Today. However, people who don’t like the person as much are unbothered by barriers, often subconsciously placing them between themselves and the person they don’t like. This can be things like purses, newspapers, magazines, cups, cushions, and similar items. “A barrier does not necessarily mean that the person doesn’t like you, but it does let you know that rapport has not yet been established,” says Schafer. Be mindful of these subtle hints that your crush doesn’t quite feel the same way.
8. They’re never physical.
Whether he accidentally touches your hand, or can’t stop hitting your foot underneath the table, if a guy shows you signs of contact, it shows he wants to be close to you physically, relationship expert and psychotherapist, Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT told Cosmopolitan. If those signs are absent from your interactions, your partner is likely not interested in you romantically.
9. They don’t talk about the future—even the immediate one.
“It’s either they sound hesitant or dodge the topic completely when making critical plans for the future. This red flag is also applicable to smaller plans you could be making. They will seem unexcited with the idea of having trips with your family or going on a vacation together,” Celia Schweyer, a dating and relationship expert at DatingScout.com told Best Life. If they’re skittish about committing even for the weekend, they’re just not invested enough to prioritize you.
10. It’s not obvious.
If you constantly wonder, “Does my crush like me?” it could be one of the biggest signs they don’t. One 2018 study conducted by the University of Dayton found that those subtle, indirect behaviors like eye contact, smiling, and mimicry actually are less indicative of attraction than direct behaviors like physical proximity and talking to someone. Needless to say, if someone really likes and is attracted to you, it should be fairly obvious. That’s good news. You don’t need to obsess over what subtleties may have deeper meaning. It’s not always as complicated as we sometimes make it out to be!
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Having a crush on someone is never easy. Honestly, it’s one of the most frustrating things you can imagine. However, it’s also full of fun, exciting times with someone you’re mad for. Just because it’s a little complicated doesn’t mean you can’t learn ways to make it easier.
One thing we all do when we have a crush on someone is imagine what it would be like to be with them. Isn’t that what we all want with our crushes? That means we have to do different things in order to get them to fall for us. Like ignoring them.
Why You Should Ignore Them
This doesn’t exactly sound like it makes sense, I know. But the truth is that by ignoring someone, you’re playing hard to get. And we all know that playing hard to get almost always works in attracting someone you like – especially your crush.
But you can’t just completely ignore them and leave it at that. That will make them think you don’t even like them at all. You have to do it the right way if you want to ignore someone you like. You have to pretend to ignore someone you have a crush on and here’s how.
- Stare sidelong at them.
The best thing you can to do make sure they know you’re ignoring them is to acknowledge their presence with a sidelong glance, and then look forward again. What this does is make them intrigued because they realize you see them and hear them, but you’re not replying. They’ll want to make you listen and will try even harder. The best way to do this is just to look at them with your eyes only – not moving your head – and just not reply at all. You can even smirk so they know you’re really listening.
- Be short with them.
Instead of all out ignoring them, you can just be really short with them. This means you can still reply to them, but keep your comments short and uninterested. What this does is make them want to try even harder to get you to be nicer and open up to them more. They’ll sit and probe you for answers and when you barely give them anything, they’ll just want more.
- Don’t answer their questions.
When you start ignoring someone, they’ll start asking many questions. Why are you ignoring them? Are you mad? What’s wrong? Now, this may seem temping, but just ignore them. And if they’re only talking to you for the first time, ignoring their questions about you can make you seem mysterious and alluring. They’ll want to continue probing you for answers and it’ll be just what you want: their attention.
- Be formal with them only.
If you want to ignore them in a different way, you can ignore your friendship with them. Instead of talking like friends, pretend that they’re someone you’ve just met. Pretend you only know them in a formal way. Be polite. Be kind to them, but don’t talk to them like you’ve known them for a while. This can make them take a step back to reassess your relationship. They’ll want to get you to open up and warm up to them and they’ll try extra hard.
- Allow others to communicate to them for you.
You can even take it in a different direction and make other people talk to them for you if you still want to communicate with them while ignoring them at the same time. This is a really entertaining technique to use because you can still have conversations, but it’ll frustrate them and make them want to see and talk to you even more. Make sure you don’t make your messages very clear when you tell other people what to tell them because that’ll make it all the more frustrating and fun.
- Every once in a while, don’t ignore them.
You can’t solidly ignore someone for such a long period of time. Something that works even better to get their attention is to stop ignoring them from time to time. You can go from ignoring them one day to enjoying a hearty conversation where they’ll be trailing on your every word. This hot and cold behavior is what really hooks someone. And if you want to make them like you, then this is the way you have to ignore them.
- Make sure they know you heard them.
Acknowledging that you can hear what they’re saying and then deliberately not responding will drive them NUTS. If you want to get your crush to notice you by ignoring them, then this is definitely going to work. They’ll not only be confused, but they’ll want to know why you’re ignoring them. This will cause them to give you all kinds of attention in an attempt to make you respond to them. You’ll definitely have success with this method.
- Don’t tell them why you’re ignoring them.
Never give in. When you’re ignoring your crush, you never want to tell them why. It’ll get rid of all the mysteriousness that you’re putting out there. Instead, just pretend that you have no idea what they’re talking about. By acting like you’re not even ignoring them at all, it’ll drive them nuts and they’ll want to figure out why you act differently toward them and not other people. They’ll keep wondering and it’ll make you happy to have their attention.
- Have your friends ignore them too.
If you really want to take it to the next level, have your friends ignore them too! They’ll be flabbergasted as to why nobody is talking to them. It’ll make them talk to you way more and be even nicer. They’ll try to suck up to get on your good side and to get on your friends’ good side. This is always really fun to watch and they’ll definitely start thinking about you more and more.
- Stop ignoring them when you’ve won.
You can’t ignore someone you have a crush on forever. Not if you want to eventually date them, at least. You can only play hard to get for so long before people begin to lose interest. So once you’ve done it for a while and they’re completely hooked on you, stop ignoring them and work your magic. It’s time for you to engage with them and make sure their attention is on no one but you.
Ignoring someone you have a crush on isn’t a wise move, but pretending to ignore them is a great way to make them like you back. Practice these tips and they’ll be falling for you in no time.
Millennials are the worst communicators ever. Seriously.
We’re educated AF, but when it comes to interpersonal relationships and in-person conversation, we’re just lacking. The fact that we prefer to text someone and wait 10 minutes for a response to something that would’ve taken seconds to answer via a phone call speaks volumes about the way we communicate.
To top it all off, we also have these weird, unofficial rules about texting and the etiquette that goes along with it.
For example, when someone you’re feeling doesn’t text you back or doesn’t text you fast enough, you feel a little insulted. You start reading too much into how long it takes them to answer, and you start to flip out.
Then, you go through a roller coaster of emotions that probably affects your body and mental health a lot more than you think, but you just can’t help it:
Stage 1: You send them a text, and you start to worry.
You work up the courage, take your phone out and begin typing. Before sending the text, you reread it a few times just to make sure the grammar, spelling and emoji usage are all appropriate.
This stage is arguably the easiest, but once you’ve concocted a witty message, demonstrating your knowledge of the perfect mixture of sarcasm, comedy and cuteness, the real worrying begins.
Now, you’ve hit send, and you immediately start to wonder how long it’ll take for your love interest to answer. At this point, you’re hopeful and excited to see what your crush has to say. This is a nice moment, but it’s hard to savor if you’re impatient.
Stage 2: They take what feels like eons to respond, and in turn, you become really sad.
You hold on to your phone miserably, and every time it lights up, you look to see if it’s the one you love, but it’s not.
It feels like everyone decided to text you when you’re waiting for your crush to answer, and every time you realize it’s not them answering, you wilt a little on the inside. It’s terribly sad.
So what should you do? Put the phone down, kid. Go for a walk or listen to some music, but whatever you do, don’t stay glued to your phone. It’s unhealthy.
Stage 3: There’s still no answer after a significant amount of time, and you irrationally panic.
You begin to make up stories in your head about how maybe your crush is up on a mountain somewhere with no reception. Maybe their battery gave out. Maybe they never received the message and your phone is lying to you. It can happen, right?
No, sweet pea. But whatever you do, do not double text. Don’t send another one to ask if they got the first one. Your crush probably saw it already, but they just don’t feel like answering.
Obviously, this notion will just add on to your how sad you already were, which will slowly turn into sheer grouchiness.
To deal with this, think about what this obsession is doing to your life. If it’s making you this unhappy, is it really worth it?
If you DO think it’s making you significantly unhappy, then you’re focusing way too much energy on someone who simply doesn’t want to talk to you.
Stage 4: You slowly come to terms with their lack of response.
Perhaps it’s days or even weeks later, and they still haven’t answered. You’ve likely already given up on them and, hopefully, gotten over it.
If you haven’t, however, you should probably think about what’s keeping you tied to this person.
If you’re still daydreaming about an awesome conversation you had with them a few weeks ago, I hate to say it, but maybe it’s time to forget about that.
Maybe you’re still hung up on the kiss you shared that pretty much made you see Jesus while it was happening cause it was so freaking good. But remember, you’ll kiss other people.
Maybe you’ve been stalking the object of your affection on every social media platform possible. But now, it’s time to stop. You’re only hurting yourself.
Stage 5: A possible plot twist: They finally text you back, and you feel conflicted.
Before you jump for joy and text them back right away, take a moment to think about the situation.
If only hours have past before they responded, I’d say to answer them and try to ignite a little passionate spark via text.
But if it’s days or weeks later, really stop and think about what to do next. Aren’t you worth a text back in a decent and timely fashion? You definitely are, so never sell yourself short when it comes to communication.
We can all blame people not texting back on them being too busy or simply forgetting, but it’s the build up of little things like this that prove to be huge red flags for what’s to come if you decide to be in a relationship with this person later down the road.
In the end, you may feel so exhilarated that your crush has finally hit you up that you just don’t care. We’ve all been there. But a person who may or may not have ghosted you for a bit is a person who probably isn’t very trustworthy.
And always remember, you should never be a mere option to chose from for anyone whom you make a priority in your life.