How to deal with an obsessive mental preoccupation

How to deal with an obsessive mental preoccupation

We all have worries from time to time that disturb our thoughts and interrupt our daily lives. They affect our performance at work and occupy our attention while we’re having a conversation or watching a movie. Some people worry too much, or about things that shouldn’t merit such attention or anxiety. When does worry stop being normal and become pathological? How do you know when you’ve crossed the line between preoccupation and obsession?

There are various different anxiety disorders that are classified depending on the type, quantity, and intensity of worry, as well as the reason behind it. These include generalized anxiety disorder, specific phobias, social phobias, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

But obsessive-compulsive disorder, characterized by obsessions that invade the mind, has been separated from anxiety disorders in the new DSM.

The prison of obsession

  • Is the concern unrealistic? – The thing you’re worried about is very unlikely, which means you’re simply anticipating a very rare or almost impossible event to occur.
  • Is the concern disproportionate? – Your level of concern doesn’t correspond to the severity of the issue.
  • Do you spend a lot of time thinking about a specific subject or issue? – You spend the entire day worrying, to the point where it interferes with your daily life.
  • Is your constant preoccupation causing distress? – Obsessions are egodystonic, meaning they cause a lot of distress that you’ll want to eliminate from your mind, although it seems impossible.
  • Are these thoughts pushing you to do something you know is absurd or unlikely solve the problem? – Examples include constantly washing your hands, opening and closing the door a certain amount of times, not touching any object with your hands, etc.
  • Are you embarrassed to admit it to others? – You know that you have a problem, that your thoughts and/or behaviors are not normal, but you prefer to keep it a secret because nobody would understand or because they’d think you’re weird.
  • Are you unable to control when or how long you worry for? – Disturbing thoughts appear suddenly, without warning, and you can do little to control them or make them disappear.

If you answered yes to many of these questions, consider consulting a professional to assess the problem. The fundamental differences between preoccupation and obsession are that obsessions appear involuntarily, interfere with your thoughts, cause distress, take up a large part of your day, and in some cases, push you to perform actions and rituals (compulsions) meant to reduce the associated anxiety.

Common obsessions

Although obsessions are very mixed thought patterns that can be expressed in many different ways, there are some typical ones. Here are some of the most common:

  • Fear of contamination. Being afraid of touching objects directly with the hands for fear of contamination, thinking that the hands are dirty even when constantly washed, being afraid of being near someone who is sick and catching the illness, etc.
  • Health and physical appearance. Obsession over physical appearance, finding defects where there are none, constantly looking in the mirror, etc.
  • Sex. It’s very common for those who have this type of obsession to wonder whether they’re gay, which they usually aren’t.
  • Aggressive in nature. Fear of doing something violent, attacking someone, or something horrible happening to a loved one. or hypochondriac. Fear of getting sick and getting multiple tests done to check. With obsessions like these, it’s common for the person to think they’ve contracted HIV or another potentially dangerous disease.
  • Having bad or obscene thoughts that won’t go away, such as hurting another person. These thoughts cause a lot of torment and guilt.

All obsessions have some things in common: they’re intrusive, recurring, and persistent thoughts that make the person feel either disturbed or perplexed.

Common compulsions

In many cases, compulsions follow obsessions, with the goal of reducing the anxiety caused by the obsession. Sometimes the compulsion isn’t obviously related to the obsession, and the intensity with which it is performed doesn’t usually match reality. Just like there are typical obsessions, there are also typical compulsions, which include the following:

  • Washing the hands over and over again, even to the point where it damages the skin.
  • Constantly checking whether the gas door was left open, the light was left on, etc.
  • Needing to touch an object a certain amount of times.
  • Counting up to a certain number mentally or out loud before beginning an action like opening the door.
  • Organizing, putting everything in its place, going back to put it there even though it’s already there until everything is perfect, and starting over if anything changes or moves out of place, or even sometimes when everything is still intact.
  • Hoarding, being unable to get rid of something. Even if it’s been years since it was used or it clearly will never be needed, the idea of throwing it causes anxiety.
  • Praying over and over again for sinning or having intolerable or unforgivable thoughts, as an attempt at redemption.

Although compulsions can reduce anxiety in the short term, the effect doesn’t last and you have to continue performing rituals afterwards. Even though these rituals never give you any gratification or pleasure, they do give you a short and false sense of control over the obsessions that invade your thoughts.

Is there an escape from obsession?

Judith L. Rapaport, an expert on the subject, has studied and experimented with different treatments in people who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Her studies focus specifically on the use of clomipramine (Anafranil) as a treatment for obsession.

A large percentage of people showed a reduction in obsessive thoughts, although some people showed no effect. Today, SSRIs are used, which are antidepressants that have fewer side effects but work towards the same goal, although the medication of choice can vary.

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is a type of psychotherapy in which the patient faces the object of their obsession, either directly or through imagination, and avoids performing rituals and compulsions. This is considered an effective treatment, and when combined with SSRIs, can produce a very positive response and alleviate the patient’s suffering.

How to deal with an obsessive mental preoccupation

Obsessive thinking is an inability to gain control over recurrent, distressing thoughts and images. The process may be mildly distracting, or utterly absorbing. Obsessive thoughts and images are embedded in a complex network of feelings, sensations, and often, behavioral routines. Brain imaging studies indicate that obsessive thinking is associated with a neurological dysfunction of unknown cause that forces thoughts into repetitive loops. While some people find themselves obsessing for the first time, others may have had multiple episodes, the specific content changing over time. Obsessive thinking can be like a hamster wheel, as one hamster gets off, another takes its place, and the wheel keeps spinning.

Obsessive thinking can be adaptive, when it is directed toward healthy goals and real problems with achievable solutions. But for many people, this process breaks down. We’re here to talk about the dark side of obsessive thinking: worry, rumination, obsession:

Worry. Worry is the anxious preoccupation with anticipated events. Healthy worry alerts us to potential problems and motivates problem solving. Once problem solving is underway, the worry will subside. If it’s concluded that there is no clear solution, that direct change over the unwanted situation is not possible, acceptance is achieved.

But often the adaptive process breaks down. Our minds become trapped in an endless process of “figuring it out.” We become plagued by thoughts and images of disastrous outcomes that may never occur. Worriers are particularly challenged by problems that have no clear solution. Instead of accepting and managing these difficult realities, they are viewed as evidence of the futility of even trying to work things out.

Rumination. Rumination is focused on past events. It is a preoccupation with perceived mistakes, losses, slights, actions taken or not taken, opportunities forever lost. The feelings associated with obsessive rumination are guilt, regret, anger and envy. Rumination is often accompanied by harsh judgments, criticism, grudges, toward both self and others, and the overwhelming belief that if things had only been different then existing and future misery could have been avoided.

The Damage Done. Obsessive thinking can intensify and prolong distressing emotional states, encourage damaging behavioral routines, communication. Worry reinforces anxious feelings – you literally scare yourself – which, in turn, only leads to more worry. The process can extend into anxious periods lasting hours, days, weeks, even years, at times spiraling into panic attacks and emotional “spikes” of anger, guilt and shame. Rumination reinforces feelings of sadness, hopelessness and anger, and if left unchecked, can sink into depression and withdrawal, or escalate to damaging displays of anger and rage. Obsessions associated with OCD range from distracting to debilitating. And compulsive harmful routines can slowly tear away at lifestyle and wellbeing, or altogether take you out of the game.

Shouting “STOP” Doesn’t Help

Of course if you could simply will yourself to stop thinking certain thoughts, shout “STOP”, snap a rubber band, trigger a shock, then you wouldn’t be here. There’s no easy “off” switch for obsessive thinking. Saying “stop” is the most intuitive response to obsessive thinking. But psychologists have discovered that the attempt to block some thoughts from awareness leads to an equal and opposite reaction in which the very thoughts you’re trying to suppress come swinging back with a vengeance. Telling yourself to stop thinking obsessively is like pushing a beach ball under the water. The harder you press, the higher it pops, when you can no longer hold onto it!

How to Overcome Obsessive Thinking

Well take heart! You can overcome obsessive thinking, reduce emotional reactivity to the thoughts, get out of your head, and courageously face avoided areas of life! Cognitive-Behavior Therapy is an evidence-based, practical approach for obsessive thinking, worry and rumination. CBT is as an action-focused form of psychotherapy that seeks to reduce the intensity and emotional impact of destructive thought patterns like worry and rumination. CBT works by 1) changing beliefs and assumptions underlying obsessive content, including beliefs about obsessing, 2) practice accepting, distancing, and redirecting attention to other content, 3) courageously committing to the hard work of changing your behavior where it is needed.

How to deal with an obsessive mental preoccupation

Odd-one-out puzzles usually land in this basket. There is nothing wrong with your thinking or your reasoning. The fault, almost always, lies with the question. And that is primarily because odd-one-out puzzles are by default too-broad. It’s really hard to come up with a set of words/items that differ in one and only one characteristic.

How to deal with an obsessive mental preoccupation?

Try stress-relieving exercise, such as yoga or aerobic exercise like running. Reflect on the likelihood of bad things happening. Sometimes negative thoughts arise from things that are actually really unlikely to happen. Maybe you’re obsessed with the thought that the plane you’re about to go on is going to crash.

How to improve odd one out thinking problems?

To improve odd-one-out thinking look at the question backwards and find a simple all encompassing set that excludes a single candidate answer. You will almost always find multiple grouping rules: each of them will result in a different solution; this is also true for other kind of puzzles.

Can a person be chosen as the odd one out?

It generally seems to be the case (at least, in my experience) that almost any of the items can be chosen as the odd one out, and this choice justified in some way.

Try stress-relieving exercise, such as yoga or aerobic exercise like running. Reflect on the likelihood of bad things happening. Sometimes negative thoughts arise from things that are actually really unlikely to happen. Maybe you’re obsessed with the thought that the plane you’re about to go on is going to crash.

What does worrying about the future do to you?

Worrying paralyzes you, making you too upset to accomplish anything productive. It will seek to do that to you by taking you mentally into tomorrow until you find something to worry about. Refuse to go along for the ride. The Lord says you have enough to deal with today. Apply today’s resources to today’s needs or you will lose today’s joy.

When do you worry about your physical appearance?

While the child was comparatively unselfconscious of personal looks, with puberty and adolescence, physical appearance becomes a primary concern. How best to look, that is the pressing question?

How to deal with teenage preoccupation with appearance?

Respect the importance of looks and how appearance now socially matters more. Understand the fashionable look the young person is adopting and what it signifies. Give adequate privacy for the young person to have the time it takes to get used to their changing body. Never tease about looks because they are no laughing matter.

How to deal with an obsessive mental preoccupation

What is Scrupulosity?

The term, scrupulosity, refers to a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that involves religious obsessions, but it is not a separate type of OCD like hoarding disorder or excoriation (skin-picking disorder). Scrupulous individuals have an overwhelming concern that certain things they do or say violate religious or moral doctrine. They spend an inordinate amount of time each day thinking and worrying about whether they’ve committed a sin or violated moral rules.

People who attend church on a regular basis, pray daily (even several times a day), and are very involved in their religious communities aren’t typically sufferers of scrupulosity. Scrupulous behavior typically exceeds or disregards actual religious law and focuses entirely on a single inconsequential area of religious practice, often completely ignoring other areas. Those suffering from religious scrupulosity usually exhibit behavior that does not align with the rest of his or her faith community.

Scrupulosity Symptoms

Scrupulosity symptoms vary with the individual, but all have to with fear of sinning or breaking some sort of moral or religious rules and consequently suffering some sort of punishment. Common obsessions that occur with OCD scrupulosity include excessive preoccupations with:

  • Going to Hell
  • Moral behavior
  • Sinfulness
  • Blasphemy
  • Death
  • Purity
  • Loss of control over urges

In addition to preoccupation with religious or moral concerns, people suffering from scrupulosity perform mental or physical rituals in an attempt to make up for their perceived failings. Those who engage in only mental compulsions have the pure OCD form of scrupulosity.

Common physical compulsions include:

  • Excessive visits to church for confession
  • Unnecessary acts of self-sacrifice
  • Repetitive purifying and cleansing behaviors (i.e. hand washing, scrubbing floors)
  • Seeking constant reassurance from loved ones and pastors or priests of his or her goodness
  • Avoiding religious services or other events where they believe they may commit a public sin or moral error and cause something bad to happen

Common mental compulsions include:

  • Excessive prayer, often requiring that they repeat the prayer over again until they do it perfectly
  • Repeating verses or passages of scripture silently in the mind
  • Constantly making pacts with God
  • Repetitive thinking about sacred images or pictures

Scrupulosity affects individuals from a broad variety of religious backgrounds, not just those of one particular faith. Experts suspect many highly respected religious leaders have struggled with scrupulosity, including St. Veronica Giullani, St. Ignatius Loyola, Martin Luther, St. Alphonsus Liguori, and John Bunyan.

With OCPD, the need for order goes well beyond a preference for neatness in certain areas of their lives.

How to deal with an obsessive mental preoccupationThe concept of “OCD” has made its way into everyday conversation and is often used to describe certain quirks of personality. For example, you’ve probably heard someone say something like, “I’m so OCD about the way my desk is organized,” when they like things arranged a certain way.

But for someone struggling with obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), the need for order goes well beyond a preference for neatness in certain areas of their lives. If you or a loved one obsesses about perfection to the point that it’s interfering with life activities, you need real information and solutions — not just internet humor.

Here you will find everything you need to know about obsessive compulsive personality disorder, including what it is, how it differs from OCD, what your treatment options are, and how to get help if you need it.

What Is Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder?

First, obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is not the same as OCD. According to the Merck Manual, OCPD is

a pervasive preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and control (with no room for flexibility or efficiency) that ultimately interferes with completing a task.

It’s important to note that a personality disorder is a diagnosable mental illness and goes well beyond simple perfectionism. People with OCPD are so obsessed with doing things a certain way that they will miss deadlines, avoid working with others, and allow relationships to deteriorate while they focus on following the steps they believe are necessary for success.

For example, a person with OCPD could be so concerned with every grammatical detail of an essay that they fail to turn in the paper on time and receive a poor grade. This inability to “see the forest for the trees” is so pervasive that it actually leads to failure rather than success.

Unlike obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), people with OCPD don’t experience repeated intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that distress them. They also don’t try to control their thoughts with receptive actions (compulsions), such as excessive hand washing or other rituals.

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A big part of my codependency is anxious attachment and feeling dependent on continued contact and engagement to feel okay. I am working hard on this with my sponsor and psychologist and making some good progress. But I am struggling HARD this week with high anxiety and worrying about the stability of my relationship with the current “object” of my codependency.

I had expected to hear from them yesterday and didn’t, and didn’t hear from them again today. While my logical brain knows that everything is A-OK, my emotional mind can’t stop thinking about them and worrying about when I will hear from them. Self-talk, distraction, walks, podcasts, reaching out to “healthy” relationships all help, but man this week has been HARD.

How do you cope with the obsessive preoccupation?

I feel exactly this! I am right there with you in this same state this week. I am so sorry to hear you're feeling this way, but if it's any consolation – you are not alone.

something about the past couple of weeks has really rocked my self-confidence and triggered my separation anxiety full force. It's been hard to not instantly go to thoughts of "they're going to leave me" when I don't hear back from my partner. They are supportive and loving, and logically I know they wouldn't ghost me after a text about laundry, but that innate irrational fear of abandonment has been so difficult to quiet this week.

personally, I've been recording voice memos and talking to myself as though I'm talking to a friend, reassuring myself that I exist outside of this relationship and that my partner contributes to my happiness, they're not the sole reason for my happiness. I also found that identifying objects in my home that were gifts from my partner and saying "look! they're right here with you" has been helpful as well. I put my phone on silent this week and have set times to check texts/social media – that's been a HUGE help as well.

I've been reaching out to lots of friends this week and hanging out with them, rediscovering old hobbies, preoccupying myself with work, listening to podcasts or keeping youtube videos on in the background. I also created a private Twitter account just to quickly capture thoughts (especially notes from my therapist, gratitudes, things that are upsetting me). these distraction methods have been really helpful.

my therapist gave me this little analogy that I've been keeping in mind: think of that childhood neglect and abandonment as a deep hole, a literal abyss. that hole needs filling with love, but one person (ie: a partner), no matter how loving and supportive they are, can't possibly fill that hole by themselves. you need lots of sources of love to help fill that hole – from friends, from hobbies, from work, from yourself, etc.

Having an increased focus on religion or religious activities is a possible symptom of mania and hypomania in bipolar disorder. This heightened focus isn’t necessarily unique to bipolar disorder, however, as it is also associated with schizophrenia, schizophreniform disorder, schizoaffective disorder, and other psychotic disorders.

This increased religiosity may take many forms—some more subtle than others and not all are indicative of psychosis. Here are some examples (using hypothetical patients):

  • Janie was raised in a Protestant home but stopped going to church in her teens. After the onset of bipolar symptoms, though, she began going to more than one service a week, volunteering, joining study groups, and seeking personal religious counseling from the minister.
  • Ed had never been to any religious service or events in his life, but as he developed symptoms of mental illness and was later diagnosed with schizophrenia, he began talking to friends about God more and more, reading the Bible, eventually falling to his knees and praying aloud regardless of where he was.
  • When Terri, a devout Jew all her life, developed a schizoaffective disorder, she became convinced that God felt she was unworthy and attempted suicide.
  • Jerry, who has bipolar disorder, began to focus more on his religious beliefs when his symptoms began, finding that they helped sustain him in difficult times.

Terri's doctor may provide an immediate diagnosis of having religious delusions. But in the cases of Janie and Ed, a psychiatrist might feel such a diagnosis would be premature. And in Jerry's case, at this point, his beliefs appear to be supportive rather than problematic.

As psychiatrist Harold G. Koenig, professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University, wrote in his 2007 review of the literature on the subject, “While about one-third of psychoses have religious delusions, not all religious experiences are psychotic.”

Koenig found that some spiritual approaches may be of benefit to the patient—as in Jerry's case. When religious delusions aren't immediately obvious, the treating clinician needs to examine the patient's religious beliefs and behaviors carefully, Koenig concluded.  

What Are Religious Delusions?

Delusions are defined as false beliefs firmly held, and different types include paranoid or persecutory delusions, delusions of reference, delusions of grandeur, delusional jealousy and others. Two of these, in particular, may express themselves in a religious context. Here are a few examples:

Religious paranoid delusions: "Demons are watching me, following me, waiting to punish me if I do anything they don't like," or "If I put on my shoes, God will set them on fire to punish me, so I have to go barefoot all the time." Auditory hallucinations, such as, "The voices keep telling me there are devils in my room," are often combined with religious paranoia.

Religious delusions of grandeur: "God has exalted me above you, normal people. He tells me I don't need help, don't need medicine. I'm going to heaven and all of you are going to go to hell," or "I am Christ reborn."

Cultural Effects on Religious Delusions

A 2015 meta-analysis of 55 studies examined the relationship between religious delusions (RD) and religious hallucinations (RH) in countries around the world.

In the United States, a 2001 study found that the level of religious involvement predicted the severity of religious delusions, and that Protestants were more likely to experience RD than Roman Catholics. In 2002, a study in England reported a higher association of religious belief and religious delusion in subjects with schizophrenia.

Additionally, a 2010 study on Muslim patients with schizophrenia in Pakistan said that more religious patients are both more likely to experience RD and to hear voices of ‘paranormal agents.’ Contrary to these findings, however, the meta-analysis also pointed out that a 2008 study conducted on schizophrenic patients in Lithuania "concluded from their multivariate analysis that religiosity does not directly influence the religious content of delusions", and that more research was still needed.

Koenig reported that "Persons with severe and persistent mental illness often come for treatment with religious delusions. In the United States, approximately 25%–39% of patients with schizophrenia and 15%–22% of those with mania/bipolar have religious delusions."

Impact of Religion and Religious Delusions in Psychotic Disorders

Many patients with psychotic disorders consider spiritual faith to be an important coping mechanism. For those who are not delusional, religious beliefs and activities as coping mechanisms have been found in some studies to be associated with better outcomes for the illness as a whole.

Conversely, having religious delusions has been found to be associated with a more serious course of illness and poorer outcomes. Research has shown that patients with religious delusions had more severe psychotic symptoms, a longer history of illness, and poorer functioning prior to the onset of a psychotic episode.

You can see why, then, it's essential for clinicians to be aware of these differences.

Doctors ought to include a patient's beliefs in evaluating the patient as a whole and use care in distinguishing between strong religious beliefs and delusions.

Religion, Delusion, and Psychosis

Despite the conflicting research on whether the culture of a country has an effect on the incidence of religious delusions, it is certainly an area of interest for further study.

If there's one thing that researchers do agree on, it's that those who treat people with psychoses need to be sensitive to a patient's non-delusional religious beliefs, both in distinguishing them from delusions and in evaluating how helpful they are potentially to the patient.

It can be pretty difficult to deal with someone who is self-obsessed. These people take their selfishness to the extreme, which creates drama between them, whether they’re friends, partners, or coworkers. People who are self-obsessed really have trouble with giving and take, splitting things in half, and looking out for others in relationships.

Self-obsession has a tendency to become really bad when it turns into narcissism, which is another extreme form of selfishness.

“At the core of extreme narcissism is egotistical preoccupation with self, personal preferences, aspirations, needs, success, and how he/she is perceived by others. Some amount of basic narcissism is healthy, of course, but this type of narcissism is better termed as responsibly taking care of oneself.”

Samuel López De Victoria

When these conversations cross the line into egotistical preoccupation, they’re not healthy for you, the other person, or your relationship.

You need to remember that self-obsessed people are not challenging by nature. De Victoria notes that people who have narcissistic behaviors often have some kind of past trauma. You can help them become less spoiled by being understanding or guiding them toward help, rather than hating on them. Here are a few signs of self-obsession that someone is addicted to themselves. These can be signs of self obsessed person as below:

1. Take advantage of you

Sometimes without asking, we all have that friend who sleeps on the couch for the night. It’s usually nothing to worry about.

A self-obsessed person might be coming to you if they go overboard with favors – especially if they don’t ask if it’s OK first. Lifehack.org’s Casey Imafidon writes that to recognize this type, look for words such as “should” or “must.” If someone imposes themselves on you without a discussion, that is a sign they expect you to agree with them.

2. You always have to wait for them

Are you left waiting for 30 (or 40 or 50) minutes by your friend or SO while they dress for a party? It is common for self-obsessed individuals to not understand the value of other people’s time. The reason is that they think the world revolves around them, and it can be very tiring to deal with them.

3. They don’t see the big picture

Self-centered individuals will have trouble conceptualizing “the bigger picture.” They focus on only their own needs while remaining indifferent to those of others. Imafidon said that what happens to other people does not concern him. This isn’t cool at all.

4. They’ll do anything to defend their self-Image

Self-obsession or even narcissism may be the cause of someone’s preoccupation with maintaining their perfect image. The psychologist Michelle Roya Rad writes that arrogant people take too many measures to protect their self-image.

They like to impose on others and try to make others believe they are the better ones. If you disagree with those views, they are angry.

5. They are liars

Some self-obsessed people may manipulate the truth so they can achieve their goals. Tina Vasquez told Lifescript.com:

Some people who are highly self-centered go so far as to lie or manipulate to get their way.

The article said, “These people may even lie and manipulate to get their way or make things work out for them.” The ultimate goal is always getting their way, and they usually go to any length to get it.

6. They aren’t very generous

It doesn’t matter what they eat, what they do at work, or which movie they watch, this person is not going to help you. This is a whole new level of selfishness.

Vasquez says that this characteristic has even been demonstrated in a study with the title “fixed total sacrifice effect.” Study participants who were diagnosed with self-centeredness were given something they wanted and that others in the room required.

The evaluation concluded that self-centered people use a two-stage reasoning technique, concerning deciding the amount that they want to keep for themselves before determining how much (or not) they can give to others. This is classic selfishness.

7. They struggle with empathy

Self-obsessed individuals are sometimes capable of empathy, but usually only if it benefits them. As long as they display their sympathy or compassion at all, they have difficulty grasping the concept of empathy in its true sense, according to Imafidon. A strained relationship can result from this.

8. They don’t have deep relationships

Similarly, self-obsessed people are difficult to maintain a relationship with. It is common for people like these to be super nice, but only on a surface level.

It’s true [they] are charming, but they have an agenda,” Rad said. A lot of people are attracted to them, but they are usually the ones that feed into their arrogance. And that can lead to a toxic environment.

9. They aren’t the most caring people ever

The self-absorbed type isn’t going to be the friendliest person you’ve ever met since they lack empathy and can’t give. Vasquez says that the reason people are unable or unwilling to see the world from another’s perspective is also that they refuse to see anything through their own eyes. Whenever you deal with someone like this, you should be cautious, as you won’t get anything in return.

10. They play up their contributions

People with self-obsession will act as if picking up milk or vacuuming the house are the nicest things anyone has ever done.

Their behavior is based on a) a lack of understanding when it comes to true kindness. A) they are simply taking advantage of the situation. Rad said, “They usually maximize their own contributions and minimize other people’s contributions. They expect too much in return for what they are willing to offer.”

It’s a sneaky way to dish out favors while keeping their own interests in mind.

11. They’re a little too confident

Even though it can be a pain dealing with someone who is super self-centered, especially if they are trying so hard to appear confident, they may deserve support and understanding. In every case, they appear to be successful on the outside because they go to great lengths to make their image look perfect. But when you look deeper, their true feelings of inadequacy are revealed.” I think we can all relate to that.

Whether or not you continue a relationship with someone after determining whether or not they are self-obsessed is up to you. Although all of these selfish traits are glaring, a relationship can still be saved with commitment and effort. However, you may end up saving yourself a lot of pain by cutting ties and moving on. It’s up to you to make the decision