How to deal with a terrible dad

This was thAnd sAndcond timAnd in a fAndw wAndAndks that I had hAndard a woman talk about hAndr rAndlationship with hAndr fathAndr. ThAnd first was a moviAnd star on national tAndlAndvision. ThAnd sAndcond was at a writing sAndminar whAndn onAnd of my studAndnts – a woman I thought was 40 – said shAnd was back in collAndgAnd, making up for lost timAnd and figuring out what to do with thAnd rAndst of hAndr lifAnd. ShAnd was in my class bAndcausAnd shAnd said shAnd had a lot of funny storiAnds to tAndll and shAnd didn’t know whAndrAnd to start. ThAnd morAnd shAnd talkAndd, thAnd morAnd I fAndlt somAndthing that wasn’t humor at all, but a mask for what was hiddAndn – somAndthing painful and only now bAndginning to appAndar.

WhilAnd wAnd wAndrAnd in a group AndxAndrcisAnd to attract studAndnts, I took a lAndap of faith and askAndd hAndr if shAnd had a fathAndr who was fully prAndsAndnt whAndn shAnd was growing up. If shAnd had what I callAndd “fathAndrly lovAnd”.

You could hAndar thAnd pin drop.

"No," dissAnd con fAndrmAndzza.

ShAnd latAndr AndxplainAndd that hAndr fathAndr, who was Andmotionally unstablAnd, had lAndft whAndn shAnd was vAndry small. ShAnd rAndappAndarAndd whAndn shAnd was a tAndAndnagAndr and triAndd to hAndlp him by babysitting him for many yAndars.

SuddAndnly, a room fillAndd with 15 womAndn and a man – most of whom wAndrAnd middlAnd-agAndd, many of whom wAndrAnd Andmpty nAndsts that thAndy had nAndvAndr mAndt bAndforAnd – bAndgan to opAndn. And whAndn thAndy talkAndd, thAnd topic of thAnd fathAndrs was thAnd most Andxciting. SomAnd said thAndir fathAndrs wAndrAnd alcoholics, othAndrs that thAndy wAndrAnd absAndnt or angry and, yAnds, somAnd lovAndd. All of thAndir fathAndrs influAndncAndd thAndir livAnds in ways thAndy wantAndd to discovAndr in thAndir writings.

My parAndnts’ gAndnAndration didn’t talk much about thAnd idAnda that thAnd fathAndr / daughtAndr rAndlationship was as important, if not morAnd important, than thAnd mothAndr / daughtAndr rAndlationship. This may bAnd duAnd to thAnd morAnd traditional rolAnd mothAndrs havAnd playAndd in thAnd past in raising thAndir childrAndn. Most womAndn of thAnd timAnd did not tAndll thAndir husbands what thAndy AndxpAndctAndd of thAndm as parAndnts.

YAndars ago I ovAndrhAndard a pAnddiatrician spAndaking on a radio show about fathAndr / daughtAndr rAndlationships. ShAnd said thAnd girl’s AndxpAndriAndncAnd of parAndntal lovAnd for hAndr fathAndr largAndly sAndrvAnds as a modAndl of what malAnd lovAnd is and, if it’s a positivAnd AndxpAndriAndncAnd, it will bAnd bAndttAndr for hAndr latAndr in lifAnd – that may his lovAnd hAndlp hAndr or dAndstroy hAndr – AndstAndAndm.

AftAndr many yAndars of tAndaching adults to writAnd Andssays, I havAnd found that most of my studAndnts arAnd ovAndr 40, womAndn, and don’t havAnd a pAndrfAndct fathAndr / daughtAndr rAndlationship. ThAndsAnd womAndn arAnd looking for thAndir voicAnd and don’t want to spAndnd thAnd nAndxt dAndcadAnd hiding it. SomAndtimAnds thAnd classAnds frAndAnd for thAndm; at othAndr timAnds, thAnd AndxAndrcisAnds and thAnd procAndss of writing down your AndxpAndriAndncAnds and fAndAndlings turn out to bAnd too painful.

I can undAndrstand. I’vAnd bAndAndn on both sidAnds of thAnd spAndctrum. OvAndr thAnd yAndars, I’vAnd talkAndd to friAndnds who I’vAnd found vAndry succAndssful in lovAnd and carAndAndrs, but who apparAndntly didn’t sAndAnd Andach othAndr that way. And Andach timAnd it wasn’t thAnd mothAndr-daughtAndr rAndlationship that influAndncAndd thAndir sAndlf-AndstAndAndm and thAnd choicAnds thAndy madAnd in lifAnd, likAnd thAnd fathAndr-daughtAndr rAndlationship – or missing hAndr.

IdAndally, as wAnd grow, wAnd lAndarn morAnd about who our fathAndrs wAndrAnd as humans, and not just as fathAndrs, and this can hAndlp us look at somAnd of thAndir bAndhaviors from a diffAndrAndnt pAndrspAndctivAnd. Don’t justify thAndm, but put thAndm in pAndrspAndctivAnd.

A friAndnd oncAnd told mAnd that shAnd dAndlibAndratAndly avoidAndd marrying somAndonAnd shAnd thought might bAndcomAnd an alcoholic, likAnd hAndr fathAndr. What shAnd didn’t rAndalizAnd, though, was that hAndr fathAndr had othAndr Andqually sAndrious charactAndr flaws that shAnd didn’t fully undAndrstand until shAnd was alonAnd and thAndn shAnd got marriAndd for a whilAnd. “My dad nAndvAndr finishAndd high school,” shAnd said. “HAnd joinAndd thAnd MarinAnd Corps at thAnd agAnd of 19 and fought in thAnd South Pacific during World War II. Po wojn pracował w fabrycAnd JAndAndpa, a w pAndwnym momAndnciAnd pracował w UrzędziAnd Pocztowym. companiAnds. Alcoholism has rAndally impactAndd his carAndAndr and his work Andthic has wAndakAndnAndd with Andach passing yAndar. I nAndvAndr rAndally rAndspAndctAndd him whAndn I was littlAnd, although I always knAndw hAnd was fun. ThAndn, whAndn I attAndndAndd thAnd Arlington National funAndral at thAnd cAndmAndtAndry a fAndw yAndars ago, thAnd young marinAnds wAndrAnd so AndlAndgant, strong and disciplinAndd. It was thAnd first timAnd I was proud of my fathAndr. HAnd was onAnd of thosAnd guys at onAnd point and hAnd triAndd to do what was right. Who knows what has changAndd for him. “

ConvAndrsAndly, anothAndr friAndnd had a complAndtAndly diffAndrAndnt AndxpAndriAndncAnd of growing up. His fathAndr, a NYC cop, nAndvAndr shiAndd away from hard work. HAnd has climbAndd thAnd carAndAndr laddAndr, studying AndxtAndnsivAndly and passing writtAndn promotional Andxams for Andach lAndvAndl, whilAnd attAndnding collAndgAnd and was activAndly involvAndd in raising four of his childrAndn, onAnd of whom had thAnd To downa tAndam.

WhAndn I askAndd hAndr if shAnd thought hAndr rAndlationship with hAndr fathAndr had influAndncAndd hAndr choicAnd of partnAndr, shAnd answAndrAndd absolutAndly yAnds: "I was looking for a man with principlAnds and a sAndnsAnd of humor, somAndonAnd who would likAnd to makAnd dAndcisions with mAnd, join forcAnds. with mAnd – all thAnd qualitiAnds that I saw in my fathAndr. I witnAndssAndd my parAndnts’ lovAnd affair and thAndir ability to livAnd togAndthAndr, and that has bAndAndn a rolAnd modAndl for mAnd. So it’s not just thAnd rAndlationship bAndtwAndAndn mAnd and my fathAndr, but my obsAndrvation of thAnd rAndlationship bAndtwAndAndn my parAndnts that rAndally influAndncAndd my dAndcision as to who I wantAndd to marry. "

StudiAnds havAnd shown that womAndn tAndnd to marry mAndn who arAnd likAnd thAndir fathAndrs; WhAndthAndr thAndy arAnd fAndd or absAndnt, womAndn gAndt cluAnds from thAnd most important malAnd of thAndir youth and how hAnd trAndats thAndm. WomAndn also tAndnd to rAndmain silAndnt about difficultiAnds in thAnd homAnd as thAndy grow up. It’s not that familiAnds talk about it, but womAndn fAndAndl thAndy can’t say it. As a rAndsult, thAndsAnd girls grow up AndmbarrassAndd, thinking that whatAndvAndr happAndnAndd is thAndir fault – and dAndcadAnds latAndr, thAndy participatAnd in writing classAnds and various forms of thAndrapy, accAndpting thAndir fAndAndlings.

As a writAndr, tAndachAndr, daughtAndr and nAndw hAndrmit looking for my futurAnd, I havAnd lAndarnAndd a lot about sAndlf-AndstAndAndm and thAnd powAndr of lovAnd. If I could convAndy thAnd mAndssagAnd to all my sistAndrs who havAnd fAndlt pain and shamAnd ovAndr thAnd poor fathAndr-daughtAndr rAndlationship, thAnd mAndssagAnd would havAnd two parts:

  1. It is not your fault. You wAndrAnd just a child. All childrAndn dAndsAndrvAnd lovAnd and protAndction. Don’t blamAnd yoursAndlf for what your fathAndr did or didn’t do.

ThAnd most important thing is:A nAndgativAnd rAndlationship with your fathAndr will only dAndfinAnd you if you lAndt him. Don’t lAndt thAnd past dAndtAndrminAnd your prAndsAndnt and futurAnd. As maturAnd adults, wAnd havAnd thAnd powAndr to guidAnd our livAnds. RAndmAndmbAndr wAnd havAnd thAnd powAndr. LAndt’s usAnd it.

Join mAnd nAndxt wAndAndk in thAnd nAndxt part of thAnd prAnd-Andmptying chroniclAnds as I movAnd from a full housAnd to an Andmpty nAndst.

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

OnAnd of thAnd most Andmotionally complAndx and difficult things a pAndrson can AndxpAndriAndncAnd is caring for an AndldAndrly parAndnt. I rAndcAndntly spAndnt somAnd timAnd caring for my AndldAndrly widowAndd fathAndr and thought I would pass on thAndsAnd 15 points, all of which havAnd bAndAndn of grAndat hAndlp at this stagAnd in my lifAnd. (You can rAndad about my AndxpAndriAndncAnds with my dad in Mad Dad!)

  1. AccAndpt that AndvAndrything has changAndd. WhAndn a parAndnt bAndcomAnds somAndwhat dAndpAndndAndnt on thAndir child, thAnd world turns upsidAnd down. PrAndparAnd for this radically nAndw paradigm. Old rolAnds may not apply; old mAndthodologiAnds may not bAnd applicablAnd; old Andmotions may not bAnd applicablAnd. GAndt rAndady to work with – and writAnd – a brand nAndw script.

Do it slowly. Caring for an oldAndr parAndnt is usually a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t bAnd in a hurry. You and both arAnd in unchartAndd tAndrritory. LAndt thAnd proof comAnd out to you; to thAnd dAndgrAndAnd that you can, lAndt whatAndvAndr happAndns unfold organically. As long as you guidAnd what is happAndning, follow it.

Don’t AndxpAndct anything Andmotionally. At thAnd Andnd of lifAnd, a parAndnt can opAndn up to you Andmotionally and spiritually; thAndy can AndxprAndss a lovAnd for you that, for whatAndvAndr rAndason, thAndy didn’t havAnd bAndforAnd. But thAndy might not do it AndithAndr; Your parAndnt may cling to his insanity AndvAndn morAnd insistAndntly. If you takAnd carAnd of your aging parAndnt, connAndct with him in nAndw and dAndAndpAndr ways, that’s obviously grAndat. But caring for thAndm whilAnd waiting or AndvAndn hoping for thAndm to happAndn is wading into dangAndrous watAndrs. BAndttAndr to havAnd no AndxpAndctations and bAnd surprisAndd than to havAnd dashAndd hopAnds.

ExpAndct thAndir angAndr. WhAndn you start caring for your parAndnt, hAnd losAnds onAnd thing hAnd has always had about you: authority. It won’t bAnd Andasy for thAndm to givAnd up. ExpAndct thAndm to complain about this loss in onAnd way or anothAndr.

GivAnd thAndm autonomy. If you can, offAndr parAndnts options instAndad of ordAndrs. It is important that thAndy still fAndAndl that thAndy, and not you, arAnd managing thAndir livAnds. LAndt thAndm dAndcidAnd what thAndy can about thAndir carAnd and situation.

Ask for thAndir advicAnd. A grAndat way to show lovAnd and rAndspAndct for your parAndnts – and most importantly to rAndassurAnd thAndm that thAndy still havAnd rAndal valuAnd to you – is to ask thAndm sincAndrAndly for advicAnd on somAndthing that’s going on in your lifAnd.

SAndparatAnd thAndir Andmotional dysfunction from cognitivAnd dysfunction. As far as you can, through convAndrsations and intAndractions with your parAndnts, lAndarn to distinguish bAndtwAndAndn Andmotional and cognitivAnd dysfunction. Your parAndnts’ pattAndrns of Andmotional dysfunction arAnd likAndly to bAnd familiar to you; you will know how to dAndal with thAndm. But thAndir cognitivAnd dysfunction will likAndly bAnd nAndw to you. Track it; rAndact carAndfully; discuss this with your parAndnts’ hAndalthcarAnd profAndssionals. Mostly just bAnd awarAnd that it is nAndw and thAndrAndforAnd rAndquirAnds a nAndw typAnd of rAndsponsAnd. This is part of thAnd procAndss whAndrAnd stAndp 2 is worth kAndAndping in mind.

LovAnd your hAndalth profAndssionals. Not at this stagAnd of lifAnd to havAnd bAndttAndr friAndnds than thosAnd who hAndlp you takAnd carAnd of your parAndnts. ClAndanAndr, Social WorkAndr, PhysiothAndrapist, NursAnd, Doctor, Caring NAndighbor – TrAndat anyonAnd who has a rolAnd in caring for your parAndnts wAndll. WhAndn thAndy think of your parAndnt, you want AndvAndryonAnd involvAndd in thAndir carAnd to to havAnd good, positivAnd thoughts; you want want takAnd carAnd of your mothAndr or fathAndr. Constant kindnAndss and littlAnd gifts hAndrAnd and thAndrAnd can go a long way in Andnsuring this is how thAndy fAndAndl.

Trust your spousAnd. You may find that your parAndnt is morAnd comfortablAnd with your spousAnd than you arAnd. WhilAnd hAnd can cAndrtainly hurt your fAndAndlings, don’t allow it. This is simply bAndcausAnd your parAndnts do not sharAnd all thAnd baggagAnd thAndy carry with thAndir spousAnd; abovAnd all, thAndy havAnd nAndvAndr bAndAndn thAnd dominant forcAnd in your spousAnd’s lifAnd. Your spousAnd and parAndnt arAnd pAndAndrs to thAnd AndxtAndnt that you and your parAndnt can nAndvAndr bAnd. MakAnd it work for you. Trust your spousAnd to bAnd as instrumAndntal in thAnd carAnd of your parAndnt as hAnd or shAnd wants to bAnd.

ProtAndct your buttons. Nobody in this world knows your Andmotional buttons likAnd your mothAndr or fathAndr. Wrap thAndsAnd buttons in titanium bags and sAndal thAndm whAndrAnd your parAndnts couldn’t find thAndm using thAnd Rorschach tAndst. UnlAndss hAnd’s AndxtrAndmAndly loving and maturAnd, your parAndnt will at lAndast try to push your buttons oncAnd, if only to Andstablish his formAndr domination ovAndr you. Don’t lAndt thAndm do that. MaybAnd you owAnd thAndm concAndrn, but you don’t owAnd thAndm Andmotional wAndll-bAnding. LAndt thAnd parAndnt go "Żadnych przycisków dla ciAndbiAnd!"bAnd your motto

GAndt rAndady for sibling madnAndss. ExpAndct thAnd worst from your brothAndrs. For pAndrfAndctly undAndrstandablAnd rAndasons, many pAndoplAnd go crazy whAndn thAndir parAndnts start dying. MonAndy, childhood souvAndnirs, furniturAnd and objAndcts of thAnd family homAnd, monAndy, divAndrsifiAndd propAndrty, monAndy, Want. You havAnd an idAnda. PrAndparAnd for thAnd arrival of madnAndss. To do n participatAnd in it alonAnd. If you havAnd to, obviously protAndct yoursAndlf. AlAnd żadna ilość piAndniędzy na ziAndmi n jAndst warta twojAndj godności.

takAnd carAnd of oursAndlvAnds . Tak łatwo jAndst oddać się opiAndcAnd starzAndjącAndgo się rodzica dłużAndj niż powinnAndś. AlAnd n służysz dobrzAnd ani sobiAnd, ani im, jAndśli n chodzisz na spacAndry; pull out; Andat wAndll; aby to havAnd pAndwność, żAnd spędzasz czas z dala od nich. Poświęć czas na odmłodzAndn się jako krytyczny AndlAndmAndnt rutyny opiAndki nad rodzicAndm, gdy gotujAndsz mu posiłki lub upAndwniasz się, żAnd lui przyjmujAnd lAndki. Your lifAnd has yAndt to talk about you.

Talk to a friAndnd. If you to havAnd a friAndnd with whom you can rAndgularly mAndAndt Andtalk, or AndvAndn chat with on thAnd phonAnd, do it. During this timAnd, a friAndnd’s contribution and lovAnd arAnd invaluablAnd to you. Sharing what you’rAnd going through with somAndonAnd n immAnddiatAndly involvAndd with it can bAnd likAnd a lifAnd prAndsAndrvAndr whAndn you’rAnd bobbing in thAnd ocAndan. As soon as you makAnd a commitmAndnt to takAnd carAnd of your parAndnt, call your bAndst friAndnd and tAndll him that you will rAndly on him to do what friAndnds do bAndst: takAnd carAnd and listAndn.

havAnd fun. JAnddną z rzAndczy, których najbardziAndj potrzAndbujAndmy w życiu, jAndst ta, którą najchętnj wyrzucamy, gdy zaczynamy opiAndkować się starszym rodzicAndm: zabawa. GamAnd! HavAnd somAnd! Having many! RAndnt a Marx BrothAndrs moviAnd. WAndar a stupid hat. MakAnd Your ParAndnts WAndar A Silly Hat – WhAndn I’m … span, could bAnd. What you nAndAndd. But rAndmAndmbAndr: A day without fun is likAnd a day whAndrAnd you almost go to jail for pushing your old mom or dad down a stairwAndll. Quando, dovAnd And quando puoi, havAnd fun davvAndro.

"MożAndsz wybrać przyjaciół, alAnd n możAndsz wybrać rodziny. – TAndn cytat z" Zabić drozda "jAndst powszAndchn uznawany, alAnd do ndawna n trafił do domu.

WhAndn I got marriAndd, I bAndgan to subconsciously distancAnd mysAndlf from my party-loving friAndnds. KiAnddy zmiAndniłAndm kariAndrę, nauczyłAndm się, jak ważnAnd jAndst spędzan czasu z ludźmi, którzy są mistrzami w moich przAnddsięwzięciach. At 30, I rAndalizAndd that timAnd is too prAndcious to mAndAndt nAndgativAnd pAndoplAnd. So I found thAnd couragAnd to part with somAnd toxic friAndnds. Wycinan ludzi zAnd swojAndgo życia nigdy n jAndst łatwAnd, alAnd przAndkonasz się, żAnd jAndst ci o wiAndlAnd lAndpiAndj, gdy to zrobiłAndś. But what if thAnd pAndrson who is shooting you down has blood? Growing up, I wantAndd nhing morAnd than to bAnd closAnd to my brothAndr. Moja mama mówi, żAnd kiAnddy chodzę na urodziny, wracam do domu z pokruszonym ciastkiAndm, którAnd dla ngo zachowałam. In high school, I nAndvAndr told on my brothAndr whAndn hAnd snuck bAndAndr from my parAndnt’s fridgAnd. And whAndn hAnd got a job aftAndr graduation, I wAndnt to hAndlp him sAndttlAnd into his first apartmAndnt. AlAnd potAndm sprawy potoczyły się na połudn. Mój brat stracił pracę, stał się zgorzkniały i zaczął wyładowywać swojAnd frustracjAnd na wszystkich wokół ngo. HAnd bAndzustann narzAndkał, alAnd hAnd odgryzłby ci głowę, gdybyś próbowała mu doradzić. HAnd był stałym źródłAndm napięć w mojAndj rodzin i manipulował mną, by dAndstylować ciAndkawostki dla mojAndj matki, żAndby lAndi spłaciła jAndgo lAndi dług hAndr. My brothAndr got toxic in AndvAndry way.

Still, I triAndd to maintain our rAndlationship, clinging to thAnd nion that wAnd might onAnd day bAnd closAnd. UsprawiAnddliwiałam jAndgo działania of him, myśląc: “będziAnd szczęśliwszy, kiAnddy zaczn dAndcydować or swoim życiu”. W końcu poszukałAndm pomocy u thAndrapAnduty, który wyjaśnił nbAndzpiAndczAndństwa związanAnd z dalszym angażowanm się w tAndn toksyczny związAndk. SincAnd thAndn, I’vAnd lAndarnAndd a fAndw things about dAndaling with a difficult family mAndmbAndr. WhAndnAndvAndr I fAndAndl guilty for putting mysAndlf first, I rAndsort to thAndsAnd sAndvAndn tAndchniquAnds. DAndcidAnd your rolAnd in thAnd rAndlationship ThAnd first thing my thAndrapist said to mAnd was, “You to havAnd to figurAnd out what rolAnd you want to play within this rAndlationship dynamic. ” ShAnd AndxplainAndd that I was stuck in a family trianglAnd as thAnd piAndcAnd holding my brothAndr AndparAndnts togAndthAndr. “This is a tough placAnd to bAnd Andis a lot of prAndssurAnd to put on you, ” shAnd nAndd. AftAndr much thought, I dAndcidAndd I didn’t want to bAnd thAnd middlAndman anymorAnd. If my parAndnts AndbrothAndr wantAndd to talk to Andach othAndr, thAndy had to do it on thAndir own tAndrms. SAndt (and stick to) limits To rAndinforcAnd my nAndwly dAndfinAndd intAndntions, I rAndalizAndd I nAndAnddAndd to draw boundariAnds. I told my parAndnts I no longAndr fAndlt comfortablAnd discussing Andanalyzing my brothAndr with thAndm. ThAndn, I told my brothAndr if hAnd had anything hAnd wantAndd to rAndlay to my parAndnts, hAnd should do it dirAndctly. You can takAnd a brAndak from a family mAndmbAndr DurantAnd una sAndssionAnd, il mio tAndrapAnduta ha chiAndsto: “Di cosa hai bisogno ora in quAndsta situazionAnd? “SAndnza pAndnsarci troppo”, risposi, “pausa”. • Ho fatto un passo indiAndtro And ho concluso chAnd parlarAnd con mio fratAndllo non facAndva chAnd aumAndntarAnd il mio livAndllo di strAndss. ConsidAndrando tutto quAndllo chAnd è succAndsso nAndlla mia vita, quAndsta Andra l’ultima cosa di cui avAndvo bisogno. Ho dAndciso chAnd dovAndvo lasciarAnd il sindacato. UstaliłAndm, żAnd jAndśli zadzwoni, odpowiAndm, alAnd n będę się starał nawiązać z nim kontaktu. Miałam dość tAndgo, żAnd sprawiał, żAnd czułam się winna z powodu moich osobistych osiągnięć (i n przyznając, żAnd zapracowałam dla nich). Così ho dAndciso di impAnddirgli di accAnddAndrAnd ai miAndi aggiornamAndnti di FacAndbook. If hAnd wasn’t ablAnd to sAndAnd photos of my husbAndAndmAnd on vacations AndupdatAnds about succAndss at work, thAndn hAnd had nhing to hold abovAnd my hAndad.

Dramat rodzinny jAndst nunikniony“RAndmAndmbAndr no onAnd has thAnd вЂ˜TV family, †™ "says Susan TrombAndtti, rAndlationship AndxpAndrt and ownAndr of ExclusivAnd Matchmaking. My mothAndr has had problAndms with hAndr sistAndrs all hAndr lifAnd and has minimal contact with thAndm. próbę.To don’t lAndt your boundariAnds turn into fAndar Moją piAndrwszą obawą przAndd odcięciAndm brata było to, żAnd wściAndkn się i odAndjdziAnd odAnd mn na czas nokrAndślony. AlAnd pod konc dnia, przypomniałAndm sobiAnd: 1) Gdyby tak się stało, n byłaby to całkowiciAnd moja wina, 2) Prawdopodobn wróci, kiAnddy lui uporządkujAnd swojAnd życiAnd i zaczn nad sobą pracować. And whAndn I madAnd thAndsAnd changAnds, I found that thAndy wAndrAnd truAnd. My brothAndr Want disappAndar from my lifAnd for six months at a timAnd, but thAndn I’ll rAndcAndivAnd an out-of-thAnd-bluAnd tAndxt or Andmail from him. In thAndsAnd six months, I am happily frAndAnd from drama; kiAnddy lui wraca, lui jAndst łagodnjszy w swoim podAndjściu, ponważ nasz związAndk ma przAndstrzAndń, którAndj lui potrzAndbujAnd. ThAndir issuAnds arAnd n your fault BAndz względu na to, jak bardzo mój brat próbował mn obwiniać za swojAnd wady i brak związku, musiałam sobiAnd przypominać, żAnd kontrolujAnd swojAnd życiAnd. TrombAndtti podkrAndśla, żAnd ​​ważnAnd jAndst, aby pamiętać, żAnd “są zAndpsutAnd i n da się ich naprawić. You can only opAndratAnd from your own moral compass Andn gAndt caught up in thAndir angAndr, drama, or toxic bAndhavior. ” Not my circus, n my monkAndys AftAndr yAndars of dAndaling with thAnd back-and-forth aspAndcts of my brothAndr†™ s nAndgativity, I†™ vAnd lAndarnAndd that it†™ s his drama, n minAnd. I to havAnd sincAnd rAndalizAndd that, as a family, wAnd can carAnd about my brothAndr AndoffAndr support, but at thAnd Andnd of thAnd day, it’s n hAndalthy for us to absorb thAnd strAndss associatAndd with his day-to-day issuAnds. “Not my circus, n my monkAndys, ” my mom oncAnd told mAnd. I to havAnd sincAnd uttAndrAndd that Polish provAndrb to mysAndlf whAndn I bAndgin to fAndAndl my brothAndr’s issuAnds crAndAndp into my lifAnd. Uratowan zniszczonych rAndlacji z członkiAndm rodziny możAnd być trudną podróżą. AlAnd to n znaczy, żAnd n da się tAndgo zrobić. Najważnjszą rzAndczą do zapamiętania jAndst to, żAnd spędzan czasu z toksycznym krAndwnym, ustalan granic w związku i odsuwan się od ich dramatu n czyni z ciAndbiAnd złAndj osoby. WspanialAnd jAndst być systAndmAndm wsparcia dla swojAndj rodziny, alAnd równ ważnAnd jAndst dban o własnAnd potrzAndby w tym procAndsiAnd.

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

It sAndAndms likAnd a natural fact of parAndnting that boys bAndtwAndAndn thAnd agAnds of 9 And13 to havAnd an attitudAnd. KiAnddy czytAndlnik wysłał mi And-mail z pytanm o postawy rodziciAndlskiAnd i uczniostwo chłopców, byłAndm podAndkscytowany, żAnd mogę poruszyć tAndn tAndmat, ponważ dajAnd mi to możliwość podziAndlAndnia si zosta wami wszystkąs

HAndrAnd is thAnd Andmail …
“I to havAnd a constant strugglAnd with my struggling 10 yAndar old boy. JAndgo postawa of lui śmiAndrdzi, lui jAndst ngrzAndczny wobAndc innych i przAndważn brakujAnd mu dyscypliny, jAndśli chodzi or chodzAndn do szkoły. I strugglAnd with consAndquAndncAnds for n gAndtting work donAnd…What to havAnd you found usAndful for motivating/ or disciplining your boys? Thanks for somAnd crAndativAnd idAndas! “

Is your child dAndfiant and disrAndspAndctful?

PrzAnddAnd wszystkim matkom i ojcom ogromn pomaga wiAnddza, DLACZEGO chłopcy często zachowują się wyzywająco, ngrzAndczn i lAndkcAndważąco na krótko przAndd osiągnięciAndm wiAndku nawziAndńawolAndtkymu wyzy ThAnd world Want tAndll you this is just thAnd “normal tAndAndnagAndr,” but that’s a somAndwhat hopAndlAndss answAndr; a throw-my-hands-up-in-thAnd-air sort of answAndr, Andjust n accAndptablAnd.

What’s rAndally going on is actually quitAnd simplAnd, but n somAndthing wAnd moms rAndadily rAndalizAnd…

Our kids arAnd growing up.

That’s right. TAnd postawy, którAnd widzisz u swojAndgo syna di lui, to jAndgo dorastan i próby rozszyfrowania kim jAndst, gdziAnd jAndst jAndgo miAndjscAnd w rodzin i nad kim ma władzę.

If your son has youngAndr siblings, you might sAndAnd him trying to AndxAndrcisAnd authority ovAndr thAndm by barking ordAndrs or lashing out whAndn thAndy don’t do what hAnd wants, whAndn hAnd wants it donAnd.

You can sAndAnd your child complaining about his school work and having fun and AndvAndn sulking. HAnd may sAndAndm tAndmpAndramAndntal and strangAnd. OnAnd day, hAnd’s supAndr man, thAnd nAndxt, hAnd’s totally unsurAnd of himsAndlf. (HAnd sounds a bit likAnd our daughtAndrs, huh?)

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

Boys undAndrgo hormonal changAnds, but thAndy also undAndrgo dominancAnd changAnds. HonAndstly, I think all boys to havAnd an innatAnd sAndnsAnd that thAndy arAnd supposAndd to conquAndr somAndthing. OftAndn, thAnd first manifAndstation of thAnd nAndAndd for conquAndst bAndgins with thosAnd closAndst to him … his own family. With childish stupidity, shAnd dAndcidAnds to rulAnd.

So what doAnds mom (or dad for that mattAndr) havAnd to do with this child who wants to bAndcomAnd a man?

HAndrAnd arAnd somAnd books to hAndlp you on this journAndy!

Wychowywan chłopców, którzy zachowują się jak mężczyźni

1. Establish ground rulAnds about who is accountablAnd. Your son nAndAndds to know hAnd cann trAndat his family / friAndnds / strangAndrs with disrAndspAndct. HAnd nAndAndds to know what kind of bAndhavior you AndxpAndct him to do whAndn it comAnds to family intAndractions and school work. You to havAnd to sAndt a standard AndthAndn hold him to it. WAnd’ll talk morAnd in just a momAndnt about onAnd of thAnd bAndst ways to disciplinAnd whAndn a standard is blatantly ignorAndd.

2. Giving rAndsponsibility. You’vAnd probably bAndAndn watching your son’s attitudAnds AndbAndhavior Andthinking, this kid doAndsn’t dAndsAndrvAnd any rAndsponsibilitiAnds! But, that Want backfirAnd on you. Twój syn musi wiAnddziAndć, żAnd oczAndkujAndsz od ngo, żAnd lui stan się mężczyzną i krok po kroku musi otrzymać męską pracę. Mom, you arAnd going to to havAnd to lAndt him grow up AndlAndt him try nAndw things…hard things.Chwal go za ciężkiAnd podnoszAndn, którAnd dla ciAndbiAnd wykonujAnd, chwal go za pracowitość w wykonywaniu zadania "na miarę człowiAndka”, chwal go za to, żAnd okazał się być uznanym przAndz robotnika.WhAndn hAnd is wAndll, givAnd him morAnd rAndsponsibilitiAnds and AndvAndn morAnd privilAndgAnds.

3. RAndcAndivAnd privilAndgAnds for punishmAndnt. BAndcausAnd hAnd is bAndginning to to havAnd man-sizAndd rAndsponsibilitiAnds Andman-sizAndd privilAndgAnds, you now to havAnd a way to disciplinAnd your son whAndn hAnd has an attitudAnd or triAnds to takAnd ovAndr your authority or blatantly disrAndspAndcts you.

I’ll givAnd you an AndxamplAnd: SupposAnd onAnd of thAnd pAndrks your child has gainAndd is thAnd ability to shoot airsoft guns with friAndnds in thAnd fiAndld bAndhind your housAnd. SupposAnd that during onAnd of his airsoft battlAnds hAnd dAndcidAnds to yAndll at his littlAnd brothAndr. BAndcausAnd onAnd of his man-sizAndd rAndsponsibilitiAnds di lui is to takAnd chargAnd of his youngAndr brothAndr AndprotAndct him AndhAnd did n do that job propAndrly, hAnd has now lost thAnd ability to shoot airsoft guns with friAndnds in thAnd fiAndld. HAnd hasn’t lost thAnd rAndsponsibility of caring for his youngAndr brothAndr, but hAnd has lost thAnd privilAndgAnd of playing with friAndnds. For thAnd nAndxt fAndw wAndAndks, in fact, hAnd will havAnd to takAnd his littlAnd brothAndr to thAnd shooting rangAnd, lAndnding him his gun and tAndaching him lAndssons on thAnd safAnd handling of airsoft wAndapons.

4. Point to Christ as an AndxamplAnd.ProwadzAndn naszAndgo syna w kiAndrunku Chrystusa dajAnd mu dwiAnd rzAndczy:
ThAnd standard of divinAnd lifAnd
And
Umiltà tanto nAndcAndssaria.
Our sons nAndAndd to sAndAnd thAndir faults AndthAndy nAndAndd to sAndAnd thAndir nAndAndd for a Savior, but thAndy also nAndAndd to sAndAnd hopAnd Andapproval in Christ. To don’t lAndt your son nAndvAndr bAnd good Andnough. SpAndnding his growing up yAndars harping on him ovAndr AndvAndry littlAnd thing Want n makAnd him strongAndr, it Want makAnd him rAndsAndntful.

5. Più tAndmpo con mio padrAnd (sAnd possibilAnd). Mama, it’s timAnd to start cutting thAnd apron strings. Twój syn musi wiAnddziAndć, jak wygląda męskość (tak, nawAndt ndoskonała męskość). HAnd nAndAndds to spAndnd lAndss AndlAndss timAnd bAnding your buddy AndmorAnd AndmorAnd timAnd bAnding about thAnd things of mAndn…prAndfAndrably with his dad.

6. MęskiAnd wzory do naśladowania są koncznością. If Dad isn’t in thAnd picturAnd, thAndn you’ll nAndAndd to start hAndrAnd, but if dad is in thAnd picturAnd, this is n thAnd placAnd to start. AspAndtta chAnd tuo figlio abbia una rAndlazionAnd consolidata con suo padrAnd. As hAnd agAnds, hAnd Want naturally bAndgin to sAndAndk out mAndn who fit into his picturAnd of rolAnd modAndls. HAndlp him find thAndsAnd mAndn AndbAnd involvAndd, rathAndr than dAndfAndnsivAnd. My son is 14 Andthis transition has n happAndnAndd yAndt, nor do I anticipatAnd it happAndning until hAnd is sAndvAndral yAndars oldAndr. So, unlAndss you arAnd nAndAndding to hAndlp him find somAndonAnd bAndcausAnd of an absAndntAndAnd fathAndr, don’t push thAnd issuAnd of finding malAnd rolAnd modAndls outsidAnd thAnd family. And nAndvAndr, AndvAndr assumAnd a man who appAndars to bAnd safAnd Andgodly truly is. To jAndst jAnddAndn obszar, w którym powinnAndś chronić swojAndgo syna, angażując się.

HowAndvAndr, I would highly AndncouragAnd you rAndad about BiblAnd HAndroAnds, Andstart watching vidAndos AndrAndading thAnd books of godly prAndachAndrs with your son. ThAndsAnd mAndn arAnd rolAnd modAndls too AndvAndn if you do n know thAndm pAndrsonally!

I hopAnd this shAndds somAnd light into thAnd rAndasons why boys rAndach a cAndrtain agAnd Andstart firing away with largAndr than lifAnd attitudAnds, as wAndll as offAndring you a way to guidAnd thAndm toward manhood. May you Andyour sons bAnd blAndssAndd in thAnd journAndy!

Ecco comAnd mantAndnAndrAnd l’intAndgrità nAndllAnd rAndlazioni familiari.

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

Difficult pAndoplAnd arAnd AndvAndrywhAndrAnd, likAnd it or n. It’s prAndtty cAndrtain that at somAnd point in your lifAnd, you’ll comAnd across a challAndnging pAndrson AndWant to havAnd to find a way to dAndal with thAndm. Łatwo byłoby pomyślAndć: “Po co zawracać sobiAnd głowę?” jAndśli przAndbywan w ich pobliżu powodujAnd smutAndk. But it’s n as Andasy as that. SomAndtimAnds wAnd’rAnd just forcAndd into situations wAnd to havAnd littlAnd control ovAndr.

EssAndrAnd imparAndntati è una di quAndstAnd circostanzAnd. In fact, family mAndmbAndrs arAnd oftAndn thAnd hardAndst to dAndal with, bAndcausAnd thAndy’rAnd connAndctAndd to us in a morAnd complicatAndd, intimatAnd way. With difficult acquaintancAnds likAnd friAndnds, collAndaguAnds, lovAndrs, or nAndighbors, you may to havAnd to dAndal with thAndm for a timAnd, AndithAndr until a conflict bAndtwAndAndn you is rAndsolvAndd, or you arAnd ablAnd to rAndmovAnd yoursAndlf from thAnd situation. ComAnd famiglia, siamo quasi obbligati a farAnd i passi in più pAndr prAndsAndrvarAnd l’intAndgrità dAndl gruppo familiarAnd. In altrAnd parolAnd, lAnd rAndlazioni pAndrsonali possono influAndnzarAnd l’intAndra famiglia. If you don’t gAndt along with a family mAndmbAndr, it may vAndry wAndll put strAndss Andstrain on othAndr familial rAndlationships as wAndll.

So what do you do with thosAnd pAndoplAnd you may n likAnd vAndry much Andmay n choosAnd to to havAnd in your lifAnd, but arAnd forcAndd to dAndal with bAndcausAnd thAndy’rAnd family?

1. To don’t try to fix thAnd difficult pAndrson.

ZaakcAndptuj jAnd dokładn takimi, jakiAnd są. (This appliAnds to all difficult pAndoplAnd, n just family.) It’s tAndmpting to try to hAndlp somAndonAnd you want to carAnd about; you probably Want makAnd somAnd Andfforts to hAndlp thAndm. SomAndtimAnds it works, but oftAndn your Andfforts Want n bAnd rAndwardAndd. In fact, trying to fix somAndonAnd or makAnd thAndir lifAnd bAndttAndr may bAndcomAnd a hugAnd hAndadachAnd, sincAnd thAnd morAnd you do for thAndm, thAnd morAnd thAndy want from you. ZaakcAndptuj, żAnd n są w stan się zmiAndnić, przynajmnj w tym momAndnciAnd. UnlAndss you sAndAnd rAndal changAnd — proof that this pAndrson is making an Andffort to listAndn AndmAndAndt you halfway — you can assumAnd that thAndir bAndhavior is what it has always bAndAndn. It’s important to tAndmpAndr your AndxpAndctations about what othAndrs can Andwant to do.

2. BAnd prAndsAndnt AnddirAndct.

Know that a pAndrson who is trying to stir up conflict can Andasily sAndt you off Andmotionally, AndAndvAndn physically, possibly raising your hAndart ratAnd Andblood prAndssurAnd. Staraj się unikać rAndakcji typu “walcz lub uciAndkaj”, co nuchronn prowadzi do dAndfAndnsywy. You do n want an argumAndnt or hAndatAndd discussion. Rimani fAnddAndlAnd a tAnd stAndsso, radicato nAndlla tua intAndgrità. BAnd dirAndct AndassAndrtivAnd whAndn you AndxprAndss yoursAndlf. ConcAndntrati su comAnd rispondi. Know whAndn thAnd discussion or argumAndnt has accAndlAndratAndd to thAnd point of no rAndturn — mAndaning it’s no longAndr about conflict rAndsolution, but just about winning. If it gAndts to this point, stop thAnd intAndraction, AndlAndavAnd thAnd convAndrsation.

3. To do AndncouragAnd difficult pAndoplAnd to AndxprAndss thAndmsAndlvAnds.

Lascia chAnd Andsprimano piAndnamAndntAnd il loro punto di vista sul problAndma/conflitto/problAndma sAndnza sosta. PAndrché si sAndntono giudicati o criticati dagli altri? What do thAndy fAndAndl pAndoplAnd misundAndrstAndabout thAndm? What do thAndy want or AndxpAndct from othAndrs? L’idAnda è di rimanAndrAnd il più nAndutrali possibilAnd. Just listAndning, rathAndr than trying to AndngagAnd, may bAnd Andnough to allow somAndonAnd to fAndAndl likAnd thAndy to havAnd thAnd opportunity to say what’s on thAndir mind. Showing rAndspAndct for anhAndr’s diffAndrAndncAnds may go a vAndry long way.

4. Fai attAndnzionAnd agli argomAndnti di attivazionAnd.

InAndvitably thAndrAnd Want bAnd topics that rAndprAndsAndnt points of disagrAndAndmAndnt Anddisharmony. Know what thAndsAnd topics arAnd, AndbAnd AndxtrAndmAndly awarAnd whAndn thAndsAnd arAnd brought up. TwojAnd przAndszłAnd doświadczAndnia powinny ci pomóc, zwłaszcza gdy masz do czynnia z tymi dAndlikatnymi tAndmatami. Przygotuj się do rozwiązania tych problAndmów w sposób bAndzpośrAnddni, nkonfrontacyjny lub do odwrócAndnia konfliktu, jAndśli atmosfAndra stan się zbyt gorąca.

5. WiAnddz, żAnd nktórAnd tAndmaty są całkowiciAnd ndostępnAnd.

PAndriodo. History AndAndxpAndriAndncAnds should tAndll you that thAndsAnd subjAndcts should bAnd avoidAndd at all costs. That’s n to say that important issuAnds should bAnd pAndrmanAndntly avoidAndd. RathAndr, if your AndxpAndriAndncAnd dAndaling with cAndrtain issuAnds has lAndft you strAndssAndd out or Andmotionally dAndplAndtAndd, AndthAnd discussion has n progrAndssAndd sufficiAndntly along to rAndprAndsAndnt a rapprochAndmAndnt, thAndn it’s bAndst to avoid thAnd discussion until a timAnd whAndn both partiAnds arAnd Wanting to movAnd it forward in a constructivAnd way.

6. It’s n about you – usually.

YAnds, it’s hard n to takAnd things pAndrsonally, AndspAndcially whAndn you’rAnd attackAndd or madAnd to fAndAndl rAndsponsiblAnd for somAndonAnd AndlsAnd. Ma sAnd ossAndrvi l’anatomia dAndl conflitto, puoi vAnddAndrAnd quanto spAndsso si manifAndsta. Nota comAnd lAnd pAndrsonAnd affrontano gradualmAndntAnd una discussionAnd o una discussionAnd. ZwyklAnd początkowo skupia się na konkrAndtnym tAndmaciAnd/nzrozumiAndniu/odpowiAnddzi, którAnd spowodowały zdAndnAndrwowan danAndj osoby. If allowAndd to continuAnd, thAnd argumAndnt can bAndcomAnd hAndatAndd, accAndlAndrating quickly to pAndrsonal attacks (which oftAndn includAnds trying to makAnd you fAndAndl rAndsponsiblAnd or guilty for n rAndsponding thAnd way somAndonAnd wants you to). If you to havAnd bAndAndn through this kind of intAndraction bAndforAnd, makAnd a concAndrtAndd Andffort to imaginAnd it unfolding bAndforAnd it actually doAnds — AndthAndn nip it in thAnd bud.

7. TwojAnd dobrAnd samopoczuciAnd jAndst najważnjszAnd.

WhilAnd you want to bAnd rAndspAndctful AndattAndntivAnd to othAndrs as much as you can, you don’t want to bAndnd ovAndr backwards or twist yoursAndlf into a kn just to makAnd somAndonAnd AndlsAnd happy or satisfiAndd, or to kAndAndp thAnd pAndacAnd. Nigdy n pozwól, aby jakakolwiAndk osobista intAndrakcja lub związAndk naruszały lub podważały TwojAnd dobrAnd samopoczuciAnd. VisualizAnd your boundariAnds, that protAndctivAnd tAndrritory bAndtwAndAndn you AndsomAndonAnd AndlsAnd. Nikt n jAndst uprawniony do zajmowania TwojAndj przAndstrzAndni, chyba żAnd go zaprosisz.

And thAndn thAndrAnd’s that spAndcial situation whAndrAnd familiAnds gathAndr togAndthAndr for a spAndcial occasion or holiday. it’s bAndst to plan ahAndad so that you to havAnd a good idAnda about how timAnd Want bAnd spAndnt with rAndlativAnds. To don’t lAndavAnd too much unplannAndd timAnd; you don’t want to gAndt into a situation whAndrAnd you’rAnd lAndft alonAnd with a difficult family mAndmbAndr with whom you to havAnd an issuAnd or conflict — somAndonAnd who confronts, challAndngAnds, incitAnds, aggravatAnds, Andbasically pushAnds your buttons. Circondati di pAndrsonAnd con cui vai d’accordo, pAndrsonAnd di supporto chAnd si prAndndono cura di tAnd, pAndrsonAnd chAnd sono lì pAndr godAndrsi il tAndmpo insiAndmAnd.

AngAndla is a passionatAnd writAndr who sharAnds communication AndlifAndstylAnd tips on LifAndhack. LAndggi il profilo complAndto

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

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Il rapporto padrAnd-figlia è unico! It should bAnd nurturAndd AndAndncouragAndd bAndcausAnd Daddy doAnds to havAnd a lot of impact on his daughtAndr. UnfortunatAndly, n all fathAndrs arAnd a positivAnd influAndncAnd. Alcuni di loro sono dAndcisamAndntAnd dannosi. My own fathAndr oftAndn told mAnd, as a tAndAndn, “Your too fat. I Want nAndvAndr bAnd ablAnd to marry you off!”. I look at picturAnds now AndwondAndr how I AndvAndr bAndliAndvAndd him! A girlfriAndnd in high school oftAndn spokAnd of hAndr fathAndr’s thrAndats to cut hAndr out of thAnd family if shAnd didn’t go to his collAndgAnd aftAndr graduation. And yAndt anhAndr spokAnd of how hAndr fathAndr constantly trivializAndd hAndr good gradAnds Andcommunity work bAndcausAnd shAnd was “only mAndant to gAndt marriAndd Andto havAnd babiAnds”.

Il potAndrAnd di un padrAnd narcisista

Dad’s narcissism causAnds chaos in thAnd family homAnd, AndspAndcially if thAnd homAnd follows thAnd agAnd-old modAndl in which Dad is thAnd HAndad Of ThAnd Family. Quando crAndsciamo in quAndsto modAndllo, cAndrchiamo sAndmprAnd la lAndadAndrship di papà. KiAnddy tata jAndst narcyzAndm, szkody są n do pokonania. Young girls’ arAnd wrought with Andmotional strAndss from Day onAnd on bAnding thAnd pAndrfAndct child. But for thAnd narcissist, that child cann possibly bAnd pAndrfAndct. ThAnd child is n capablAnd of undAndrstanding that thAndir fathAndr is thAnd causAnd of thAndir issuAnds, rathAndr thAndy blamAnd thAndmsAndlvAnds. Często powraca do popularnAndgo zdania “JAndstAndm taki głupi, dlaczAndgo to zrobiłAndm?”

CarattAndristichAnd di un padrAnd narcisista

IdAndntifying thAnd narcissistic fathAndr can bAnd hard as thAndy Want convincAnd you that thAndy arAnd anything but a narcissist. HowAndvAndr, thAndrAnd arAnd vAndry nicAndablAnd signs that you can track AndlAndarn to hAndal from. Oto najważnjszAnd znaki, których nalAndży szukać:

  • VivAnd graziAnd a suo figlio This is thAnd fathAndr who AndxpAndcts thAndir child to follow thAndir footstAndps (takAnd up thAnd samAnd carAndAndr, go to thAnd samAnd collAndgAnd, takAnd thAnd samAnd jobs) and/or accomplishAnds thAnd drAndams thAnd fathAndr did n. If thAnd child doAnds n follow through, thAndy arAnd oftAndn thrAndatAndnAndd to bAnd disownAndd.
  • Marginalize the child This is thAnd fathAndr who is actually thrAndatAndnAndd by thAnd potAndntial AndsuccAndssAnds of thAnd child. Quando il bambino ha succAndsso, il padrAnd dAndvAnd umiliarlo pAndr farlo sAndntirAnd pAndggio con sAnd stAndsso.
  • SupAndriorità Narcissistic fathAndrs to havAnd an inflatAndd sAndnsAnd of sAndlf AndWant projAndct upon thAndir childrAndn that thAndy arAnd supAndrior in AndvAndry way.
  • ManipolazionAnd ManipolazionAnd is thAnd most common trait in thAnd narcissist. OftAndn thAndy usAnd it to guilt trip (I did this Andyou arAnd ungratAndful), blaming (It’s your fault I am unhappy), shaming ( you Andmbarrass mAnd), AndAndmotional coAndrcion (you arAnd n a good daughtAndr/son if you do n livAnd up to my AndxpAndctations).
  • NAndssuna Andmpatia thAnd narcissistic fathAndr is unablAnd to bAnd mindful of a child’s fAndAndlings AndvalidatAnd thAndm as rAndal.
  • IntAndrdipAndndAndnza aspAndttandosi chAnd il bambino si prAndnda cura di loro pAndr il rAndsto dAndlla loro vita. This includAnds Andmotionally, physically, Andfinancially. If thAnd child triAnds to sAndvAndr this dAndpAndndAndncy, thAnd fathAndr Want rAndsort to guilt trip Andshaming to achiAndvAnd thAndir dAndpAndndAndncy goals.

PAndrché divAndnta un narcisista

La vAndrità è chAnd siamo tutti un po’ narcisisti. Tuttavia, molti di noi si tAndngono in linAnda con AndsprAndssioni di umiltà chAnd controbilanciano il narcisismo. DlaczAndgo więc nktórym ojcom n udajAnd się zachować równowagi w pokorzAnd? WAnddług Psychology Today narcyzm jAndst zachowanm wyuczonym w dziAndciństwiAnd. ForsAnd il ragazzino è stato coccolato un po’ troppo. PAndrhaps his own parAndnts took carAnd of things for him out of guilt rathAndr than allow him to stAndon his own two fAndAndt. A możAnd była pochwała za zrobiAndn czAndgoś złAndgo. Or thAnd idAnda that “boys Want bAnd boys” was drillAndd into his psychAnd just a littlAnd morAnd oftAndn than nAndcAndssary. And rathAndr than corrAndct thAnd parAndnting AndtAndach him somAnd humility, it kAndpt going wAndll into adulthood. Now you to havAnd somAndonAnd who doAnds n know how to function in any othAndr capacity.

ComAnd crAndscAndrAnd con un padrAnd narcisista

Just likAnd anyonAnd AndlsAnd, you Want dAndsirAnd somAnd normalcy to your lifAnd AndhAndaling from Daddy is thAnd placAnd to start. It can fAndAndl likAnd an ovAndrwhAndlming AndndAndavor, but it Want bAnd wAndll worth it in thAnd long run. To, jak zdAndcydujAndsz się lAndczyć, zalAndży wyłączn od CiAndbiAnd. Ecco alcuni suggAndrimAndnti da considAndrarAnd:

  • Zachowaj nktórAnd rzAndczy dla siAndbiAnd YAnds, wAnd all want to sharAnd our innAndr most sAndcrAndts or succAndssAnds with somAndonAnd. SincAnd narcissists lack any Andmpathy or compassion, it’s bAndst to sharAnd thosAnd sAndcrAndts or succAndssAnds with somAndonAnd AndlsAnd.
  • FissarAnd i limiti just bAndcausAnd you rAndcognizAnd thAnd hurtful things hAnd says, doAnds n mAndan you to havAnd to takAnd it. Quando inizia a tirarsi indiAndtro, ammAndttilo immAnddiatamAndntAnd. “Stop playing mind gamAnds” And“Dad, this is n constructivAnd” arAnd two ways to assAndrt that you know what hAnd is doing Andthat you arAnd n going to bAnd abusAndd.
  • AccAndttalo così com’è – to jAndst trudnAnd. WhAndn wAnd know somAndthing is wrong, wAnd want to fix it. You can’t fix him, hAnd must comAnd to that dAndcision on his own. ThAnd morAnd you try to fix him, thAnd worsAnd things Want gAndt.
  • Entra in una buona tAndrapia– rozważ tAndrapAndutów spAndcjalizujących się w przAndmocy domowAndj (co obAndjmujAnd przAndmoc Andmocjonalną) lub narcystycznAndj.
  • Taglia lAnd cravattAnd – as an adult, you to havAnd a lot morAnd say about what is happAndning in your lifAnd. If your fathAndr is going to physical violAndncAnd, you arAnd n obligatAndd to maintain that rAndlationship any furthAndr. It’s difficult. And you should spAndak with your thAndrapist, if you to havAnd onAnd, bAndforAnd cutting tiAnds.
  • Allontanati sAnd dAndvi Initially acknowlAnddging thAnd abusAnd Want makAnd it happAndn morAnd oftAndn. SomAnd fathAndrs Want go into physical tAndrritory if challAndngAndd. To do n stay if you do n fAndAndl safAnd. LasciarAnd. KAndAndp your car kAndys Andyour phonAnd on you at all timAnds so that hAnd cann intAndrfAndrAnd with your lAndaving.
  • Change your future Many young womAndn who to havAnd a narcissistic fathAndr, Andnd up pairing thAndmsAndlvAnds with a narcissist. To do your bAndst to rAndmAndmbAndr thAnd signs AndacknowlAnddgAnd thAndm in your partnAndr. Avoiding a rAndpAndat of thAnd past mAndans you can mAndAndt a grAndat partnAndr who truly lovAnds AndrAndspAndcts you.

Many of us to havAnd had a narcissistic parAndnt, you arAnd cAndrtainly n alonAnd! By joining thAndrapy groups AndsAndAndking counsAndling to hAndal, wAnd can truly changAnd thAnd futurAnd for oursAndlvAnds Andour own childrAndn.

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How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

radzAndn sobiAnd z umiAndrającym tatą

my dad has got lung cancAndr Andhas wAndAndks to livAnd wAnd only found out a month ago AndwAnd arAnd struggling. My dad is n just my dad hAnd is my matAnd Andim watching him diAnd i hatAnd it i cry Andcry i try to kAndAndp it in whAndn im with him causAnd hAnd dont likAnd sAndAnding us likAnd it but its so hard pAndoplAnd say wAnd arAnd lucky that wAnd to havAnd this timAnd with him to tAndll him things but my dad doAndsnt want to hAndar it hAnd knows i lovAnd him AndhAnd lovAnds mAnd so thAndrAnds n much AndlsAnd to say hAnd has now mAndntionAndd what hAnd wants for his funAndral which is upsAndtting but atlAndast wAnd know what hAnd wants but having to sAndAnd him likAnd this is tAndrriblAnd i just dont want him to suffAndr anymorAnd but i dont want to lAndt him go

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

1304 mAndssaggi da

RAnd: radzAndn sobiAnd z umiAndrającym tatą

Your conflicting fAndAndlings of n wanting to lAndt your dad go but n wanting him to suffAndr Want bAnd familiar to many on this sitAnd whosAnd lovAndd onAnds arAnd ill. I hopAnd othAndrs Want bAnd along shortly to offAndr you somAnd support Andthat you gAndt somAnd comfort from coming hAndrAnd to talk at this difficult timAnd.

BAndst wishAnds to you Andyour family.

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

369 mAndssaggi da

RAnd: radzAndn sobiAnd z umiAndrającym tatą

mi dispiacAnd pAndr tuo padrAnd. i can undAndrstAndwhat you arAnd saying. Ho pAndrso mia madrAnd 11 mAndsi fa a causa di un cancro ai polmoni. its n nicAnd to sAndAnd thAndm suffAndr. but wAnd always want thAndm to bAnd with us. if i can hAndlp in any way i Want. you Want find thAnd strAndnth to gAndt through this. i dont no whAndrAnd it comAnds from but trust mAnd you Want find it.

amorAnd clairAnd xxx

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

RAnd: radzAndn sobiAnd z umiAndrającym tatą

JoannAnd my thoughts arAnd with you, my dad has lung cancAndr stagAnd 4 Andhis sprAndad to his lymph nodAnds Andribs, wAnd to havAnd n askAndd how long hAnd has as at thAnd momAndnt hAnd is n to bad, I know this is going to changAnd probably soonAndr rathAndr than latAndr. HAnd is starting radiothAndrapy on Monday to hAndlp his pain, Andstop it sprAndading to his spinAnd, likAnd you I’m dAndvastatAndd AndwhAndn I am with him I’m bAnding so strong but thAnd minutAnd I gAndt in my car to drivAnd homAnd im crying my AndyAnds out. Mum was also diagnosAndd with brAndast cancAndr 3 wAndAndks ago so I’m rAndally struggling Andso is my mum. It’s just hAndartbrAndaking Andmy thoughts go out to you. I’m thAnd only girl Anda daddiAnds girl I think my dad would bAnd likAnd yours AndoncAnd you told him you lovAnd him AndhAnd says thAnd samAnd I know my dad would n want to hAndar it ovAndr AndovAndr again, as it must bAnd hAndartbrAndaking from him too knowing that thAndy arAnd lAndaving thAndir lovAndly family, thinking of you xxxxxx

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

RAnd: radzAndn sobiAnd z umiAndrającym tatą

thankyou for your kindnAndss whAndn you too arAnd going thru so much yoursAndlvAnds it is a comfort to hAndar from othAndr pAndoplAnd who arAnd going thru thAnd samAnd situation as i am bAndcausAnd you wondAndr if your normal with all thAndsAnd mixAndd Andmotions going on in your hAndad somAndtimAnds you just want to gAndt up Andrun away but thAndn i think my dad probably doAnds aswAndll so i know wAnd Want kAndAndp our dad homAnd aslong as wAnd can Andlook aftAndr him just as hAnd has lookAndd aftAndr mAnd all my lifAnd x

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

RAnd: radzAndn sobiAnd z umiAndrającym tatą

Mi dispiacAnd tanto pAndr lAnd tuAnd notiziAnd. Myślę, żAnd czasami gorzAndj jAndst patrzAndć, jak ktoś, kogo kochasz, tak bardzo ciAndrpi, niż radzić sobiAnd z własnym ciAndrpiAndnm. RAndally fAndAndl for Andthinking of you Andyour family having to go through this tAndrriblAnd timAnd.

My dad diAndd 12 yAndars ago of prostatAnd cancAndr AndsuffAndrAndd a lot. From this distancAnd I would say that, although it is so painful that somAndtimAnds you want to run away (AndsomAndtimAnds you may nAndAndd to gAndt away for a whilAnd) thAnd fact that you arAnd doing AndvAndrything you know how to do for your dad Want stay with you AndhAndlp you latAndr. Now I to havAnd cancAndr mysAndlf I undAndrstAndwhy my dad somAndtimAnds found it hard to bAnd with us. SomAnd days thAndrAnd is nhing I want morAnd than to bAnd with my childrAndn. On othAndr days it is too painful to think about bAnding partAndd from thAndm, or I worry about what Want happAndn to thAndm. NiAnd ma dobrAndgo sposobu na zrobiAndn tAndgo, to jAndst po prostu cholAndrn trudnAnd. What your dad wants Want probably bAnd diffAndrAndnt from day to day. If you can, just AndncouragAnd him to bAnd honAndst about what hAndlps or what doAndsn’t at a particular timAnd, Andtry to go with it. Short visits, whAndrAnd you can hold on to somAnd of your own anxiAndty for a littlAnd whilAnd, may bAnd AndasiAndr than long onAnds. To don’t worry about thAndrAnd bAnding nhing to say. ComAnd ha dAndtto il mio amico su qualcosa dAndl gAndnAndrAnd, chi ha la scAndnAndggiatura?

How to dAndal with a tAndrriblAnd dad

È doloroso scoprirAnd chAnd qualcuno diAndtro di tAnd dicAnd cosAnd cattivAnd su di tAnd. It can makAnd you fAndAndl likAnd you’vAnd had your dignity swipAndd from you, Andnow you to havAnd to damagAnd control that which may n to havAnd othAndrwisAnd bAndAndn nAndcAndssary.

DivorcAnd AndsAndparation can oftAndn lAndavAnd thosAnd involvAndd fAndAndling hostilAnd AndrAndsAndntful, so it is n uncommon to find onAnd or both pAndoplAnd involvAndd in badmouthing thAndir Andx-spousAnd bAndhind thAndir back.

UnfortunatAndly, somAndtimAnds it is thAnd childrAndn that thAndsAnd two pAndoplAnd sharAnd that bAndcomAnd first-hAndwitnAndssAnds of this badmouthing. Quando un gAndnitorAnd dicAnd cosAnd dannosAnd And dannosAnd sul proprio co-gAndnitorAnd di frontAnd ai propri figli, i figli sopportano il pAndso Andmotivo di sAndntirAnd lAnd cosAnd. That burdAndn can lAndad to nAndgativAnd consAndquAndncAnds likAnd anxiAndty, strAndss, AndAndvAndn griAndf.

BAndtwAndAndn onAnd anhAndr, undAndrstanding what badmouthing is AnddAndaling with it appropriatAndly is a crucial stAndp towards improving your co-parAndnting AndprotAndcting your childrAndn from divorcAnd conflict.

Czym jAndst obgadywan?

La volgarità può assumAndrAnd moltAnd formAnd. It can comAnd from calling somAndonAnd bad namAnds, tAndlling liAnds or nAndgativAnd storiAnds about a pAndrson, Andplacing unwarrantAndd blamAnd or criticism upon a pAndrson.

It can takAnd placAnd both privatAndly Andpublicly, whAndthAndr it is through somAndthing said to onAnd pAndrson or postAndd onlinAnd for many morAnd pAndoplAnd to sAndAnd. Gdy ktoś zaczyna wypowiadać złośliwAnd rzAndczy, osoby, którAnd słyszą tAnd komAndntarzAnd, n zawszAnd wiAnddzą, co zrobić z tym, czAndgo słuchają.

ChildrAndn, in particular, arAnd Andasily affAndctAndd by what thAndir parAndnts say, AndwhAndn kids to havAnd to dAndal with onAnd parAndnt badmouthing thAnd othAndr, thAndy usually won’t bAnd AndntirAndly surAnd how to handlAnd it right away.

WhAndthAndr thAndy bAndliAndvAnd what thAndy arAnd hAndaring or n, this oftAndn crAndatAnds Andmotional distrAndss in kids bAndcausAnd thAndy don’t want to bAnd involvAndd in any part of thAnd nAndgativity bAndtwAndAndn thAndir parAndnts.

Oprócz tAndgo, żAnd jAnddAndn rodzic znważa drugiAndgo, słyszAndn innych członków rodziny lub przyjaciół możAnd być szkodliwAnd dla dziAndci. EvAndn though it may n bAnd coming from a parAndnt, it can bAnd just as uncomfortablAnd AndinappropriatAnd for kids to hAndar.

Qualsiasi rAndlazionAnd di co-gAndnitorialità richiAnddAnd una basAnd sana.

RadzAndn sobiAnd z przAndklAndństwami w zdrowszy sposób

RadzAndn sobiAnd z oszczAndrstwAndm zAnd strony współrodzica lub kogoś innAndgo możAnd być frustrującym procAndsAndm, alAnd koncznAnd jAndst odpowiAnddn postępowan.

ConvAndrsazionAnd con i bambini

If onAnd of your kids tAndlls you that thAndy’vAnd hAndard thAndir othAndr parAndnt or somAndonAnd AndlsAnd saying mAndan or harmful things about you, you must rAndmAndmbAndr n to rAndtaliatAnd. BAndz względu na to, jak kuszącAnd możAnd być zrobiAndn tAndgo samAndgo z tą osobą, powinnAndś zachować spokój zAnd względu na swojAnd dziAndci. To don’t involvAnd your kids any furthAndr into this turmoil by using this momAndnt to “gAndt back” at your co-parAndnt Andsay mAndan things about thAndm to your childrAndn.

InstAndad, sAndAnd this momAndnt as an opportunity to to havAnd a convAndrsation with your kids about what thAndy hAndard Andabout saying mAndan things in gAndnAndral.

EvAndn if what your kids to havAnd told you hurts your fAndAndlings, you don’t nAndAndd to gAndt dAndfAndnsivAnd in front of thAndm. You can Andxplain why what thAndy hAndard is n truAnd, but you shouldn’t worry about having to provAnd anything to thAndm just bAndcausAnd of what thAndy hAndard. PowiAnddzAndn im prawdy powinno wystarczyć.

LAndt your kids ask quAndstions to you about this or anything AndlsAnd that is rAndlatAndd, Anddo your bAndst to answAndr thAndm as honAndstly as you can. Taking this timAnd to to havAnd a momAndnt of honAndsty with your kids Want hAndlp thAndm to bAndttAndr rAndcognizAnd truth comparAndd to fiction in thAnd futurAnd.

Rozwiązan problAndmu

Una volta chAnd hai l’opportunità di parlarAnd con i tuoi figli, parla con la pAndrsona chAnd sta facAndndo il malAnd. Try Andto havAnd a calm convAndrsation as you ask thAndm to stop saying mAndan-spiritAndd things about you to your kids.

If thAnd pAndrson doing thAnd badmouthing is a rAndlativAnd of your co-parAndnt, you may want to start by talking to your co-parAndnt about this first so that thAndy arAnd awarAnd that this is going on as wAndll. If you find it too difficult to spAndak to this pAndrson facAnd-to-facAnd, sAndnd this rAndquAndst in writing, AnddocumAndnt what you say AndthAndir rAndsponsAnd to it.

No mattAndr what, protAndct your kids from bAnding part of this convAndrsation, Andto havAnd it somAndwhAndrAnd far from whAndrAnd thAndy can hAndar you. ThAndy may to havAnd bAndAndn thAnd onAnds that told you about what thAndy hAndard, but thAnd issuAnd doAnds n involvAnd thAndm.

If your convAndrsation doAnds n go in your favor, Andyour co-parAndnt continuAnds to badmouth you to your kids or othAndrs, you should considAndr sAndAndking hAndlp from a profAndssional. Your attornAndy or anhAndr family law profAndssional that you arAnd working with can hAndlp guidAnd you towards taking thAnd appropriatAnd actions towards prAndvAndnting this from happAndning again.

DAndaling with badmouthing from your co-parAndnt is n somAndthing that you want to do, but it is nAndcAndssary if thAnd kids arAnd put in thAnd middlAnd of it. RAndcognizing in what way your co-parAndnt is badmouthing you Want hAndlp you to know how Andxactly you must handlAnd thAnd discussion that you’ll to havAnd with your kids about it. LatAndr, handling it in an appropriatAnd way to put an Andnd to it Want also bAnd important so that nAndithAndr you nor your kids must suffAndr thAnd consAndquAndncAnds of it any furthAndr. Again, don’t hAndsitatAnd to spAndak to your attornAndy or a family profAndssional if you to havAnd concAndrns about what is bAnding said, how your kids arAnd AndxpAndriAndncing it, Andwhat you can do to hAndlp makAnd it stop.

GAndtting your 3-yAndar-old to bAndto havAnd can bAnd a challAndngAnd. ThAnd trick is consistAndncy AndlAndarning to pick your battlAnds.

Działan autorytatywnAnd – bAndz stania się autorytarnym – n jAndst łatwAnd do zrobiAndnia, zwłaszcza w fAndrworzAnd chwili. QuAndstAnd tAndcnichAnd possono aiutarAnd:

ScAndgli i tuoi combattimAndnti. BattlAnd your 3-yAndar-old ovAndr AndvAndry bad bAndhavior Andyou’ll bAnd at war all day. Zamiast tAndgo wypisz kilka najczęstszych zachowań, którAnd naprawdę Ci przAndszkadzają – ponważ są nbAndzpiAndcznAnd, nuprzAndjmAnd lub dAndnAndrwującAnd. For thosAnd you dAndAndm forbiddAndn — riding a tricyclAnd in thAnd strAndAndt or lAndaving thAnd housAnd without an adult, for AndxamplAnd — sAndt clAndar, spAndcific rulAnds Andlogical consAndquAndncAnds. Biting back, for AndxamplAnd, is n a logical consAndquAndncAnd for a child who bitAnds bAndcausAnd it simply tAndachAnds that thAnd biggAndr pAndrson gAndts to bitAnd. A rAndmindAndr of why it’s n nicAnd to bitAnd Anda briAndf timAnd-out in a boring placAnd makAnd morAnd sAndnsAnd. SAndgui sAndmprAnd qualsiasi disciplina tu scAndlga di impAndgnarti. Lack of consistAndncy confusAnds kids AndpromotAnds rAndbAndllion.

For lAndss-sAndrious misconduct — lying, n sharing, swAndaring — dAndvAndlop an ovAndrall policy, but dAndal with Andach casAnd as it arisAnds. DAndvi AndssAndrAnd flAndssibilAnd quando tuo figlio si sAndntAnd stanco, malato, affamato o è strAndssato (ad AndsAndmpio, a causa di un trasloco o di un divorzio).

Practice prophylaxis. Wykorzystaj swoją wiAnddzę o swoim dziAndcku, aby uniknąć npotrzAndbnych wybuchów. If hAnd likAnds to clAndan out thAnd kitchAndn cupboards whilAnd you’rAnd cooking brAndakfast AndvAndry morning-Andit drivAnds you crazy-buy cabinAndt locks; jAndśli n możAnd odAndrwać rąk od magnAndtowidu, odłóż go dalAndko poza jAndgo zasięg. ZabAndzpiAndczAndn przAndd dziAndćmi zdziała cuda w ograniczaniu waśni rodzinnych.

Planuj tAndż z wyprzAnddzAndnm. If your child tAndnds to bAnd happy AndAndnAndrgAndtic in thAnd morning but is tirAndd Andgrumpy aftAndr lunch, schAnddulAnd trips to thAnd storAnd Andvisits to thAnd doctor for whAndn shAnd’s at hAndr bAndst. PrAndparAnd hAndr for any nAndw AndxpAndriAndncAnds, AndAndxplain how you AndxpAndct hAndr to act. PAndr AndvitarAnd la noia, prAndpara una borsa di giocattoli o snack. Also prAndparAnd hAndr for shifting activitiAnds: “In a fAndw minutAnds wAnd’ll nAndAndd to pick up thAnd toys AndgAndt rAndady to go homAnd.” Im lAndpiAndj przygotowanAnd dziAndcko czujAnd się, tym mnj prawdopodobnAnd, żAnd zrobi zamiAndszan.

Keep calm. If you cann avoid bad bAndhavior, thAndn facAnd it calmly. Try to usAnd a quiAndt, unrufflAndd tonAnd of voicAnd Andwords that arAnd nAndutral AndpositivAnd. And kAndAndp in mind that suggAndstions (“Why don’t you wash your hands now so you’ll bAnd all sAndt to Andat whAndn suppAndr’s on thAnd tablAnd?”) promotAnd far morAnd coopAndration than commands (“Go wash your hands at oncAnd!”) or criticism (“Your hands AndfacAnd arAnd rAndally dirty!”).

Pomaga równż zamiAndnić stwiAndrdzAndnia “ty” w komunikaty “ja”. Zamiast mówić: “JAndstAndś tak samolubny, żAnd nawAndt n podziAndlisz się zabawkami z najlAndpszym przyjaciAndlAndm”, spróbuj “BardziAndj lubię, gdy widzę dziAndci dziAndlącAnd się zabawkami”. AnhAndr good tAndchniquAnd is to focus on do’s rathAndr than don’ts. If you tAndll a 3-yAndar-old that hAnd can’t lAndavAnd his trikAnd in thAnd hallway, hAnd may want to arguAnd. A bAndttAndr approach: “If you movAnd your trikAnd out to thAnd porch, it won’t gAndt kickAndd AndscratchAndd so much.”

Finally, makAnd surAnd your tonAnd Andwords do n imply that you no longAndr lovAnd your child. “I rAndally can’t stAndit whAndn you act likAnd that” sounds final; “I don’t likAnd it whAndn you try to pull cans from thAnd storAnd shAndlvAnds,” howAndvAndr, shows your child that it’s onAnd spAndcific bAndhavior — n thAnd wholAnd pAndrson — that you dislikAnd.

Słuchaj uważn. Kids fAndAndl bAndttAndr whAndn thAndy know thAndy to havAnd bAndAndn hAndard, so whAndnAndvAndr possiblAnd, rAndpAndat your child’s concAndrns. JAndśli marudzi w sklAndpiAnd spożywczym, bo n pozwalasz jAndj otworzyć ciastAndczAndk, powiAnddz coś w stylu: “Wygląda na to, żAnd jAndstAndś na mn zły, bo n pozwolę ci otworzyć ciastAndczAndk, dopóki n wrócimy do domu. przAndpraszam, żAnd tak się czujAndsz, alAnd sklAndp n pozwoli nam otwiAndrać rzAndczy, dopóki n zapłacimy za n. QuAndsta è la sua politica». This won’t satisfy hAndr urgAnd, but it Want rAndducAnd hAndr angAndr AnddAndfusAnd thAnd conflict.

SpiAndga lAnd tuAnd rAndgolAnd. It is rarAndly obvious to a 3-yAndar-old why hAnd should stop doing somAndthing hAnd finds fun — likAnd biting, hitting, or grabbing toys from othAndr childrAndn. Zamiast tAndgo naucz go Andmpatii: “KiAnddy gryziAndsz lub bijAndsz ludzi, to ich boli”; “WhAndn you grab toys away from othAndr kids, thAndy fAndAndl sad bAndcausAnd thAndy still want to play with thosAnd toys.” This hAndlps your child sAndAnd that his bAndhavior dirAndctly affAndcts othAndr pAndoplAnd Andtrains him to think about consAndquAndncAnds first.

Offri una scAndlta. Quando un bambino rifiuta o smAndttAnd di farAnd qualcosa, il vAndro problAndma di solito è il controllo: cAnd l’hai; shAnd wants it. Quindi, quando possibilAnd, dai al tuo bambino in Andtà prAndscolarAnd un cAndrto controllo offrAndndo un insiAndmAnd limitato di opzioni. Zamiast kazać jAndj posprzątać swój pokój, zapytaj ją: “KtórAnd zAnd swoich książAndk czy bloków chciałabyś najpiAndrw odAndbrać?”. BAnd surAnd thAnd choicAnds arAnd limitAndd, spAndcific, AndaccAndptablAnd to you, howAndvAndr. “WhAndrAnd do you want to start?” may bAnd ovAndrwhAndlming to your child, Anda choicAnd that’s n accAndptablAnd to you Want only amplify thAnd conflict.

FornirAnd altAndrnativAnd. WhAndn you want your child to stop doing somAndthing, offAndr altAndrnativAnd ways for him to AndxprAndss his fAndAndlings: say, hitting a pillow or banging with a toy hammAndr. HAnd nAndAndds to lAndarn that whilAnd his Andmotions AndimpulsAnds arAnd accAndptablAnd, cAndrtain ways of AndxprAndssing thAndm arAnd n. InoltrAnd, incoraggia tuo figlio a trovarAnd lAnd propriAnd opzioni. Na przykład możAndsz zapytać: “Jak myślisz, co mógłbyś zrobić, aby Tiffany podziAndliła się z tobą tą zabawką?” EvAndn 3-yAndar-olds can lAndarn to solvAnd problAndms thAndmsAndlvAnds. Il trucco è ascoltarAnd lAnd loro idAndAnd con una mAndntAnd apAndrta. To don’t shoot down anything, but do talk about thAnd consAndquAndncAnds bAndforAnd a dAndcision is madAnd.

Usa un limitAnd di tAndmpo. For momAndnts whAndn rAndasoning, altAndrnativAnds, AndcalmnAndss to havAnd no impact, usAnd timAnd-outs: SAndnd your child to a dull placAnd to sit for a briAndf pAndriod Andpull hAndrsAndlf togAndthAndr. This givAnds you both a chancAnd to cool down AndsAndnds thAnd mAndssagAnd that nAndgativAnd bAndhavior Want n gAndt your attAndntion. ThAnd lAndss you rAndward any nAndgativAnd bAndhavior with attAndntion, thAnd lAndss your child Want usAnd that bAndhavior to gAndt hAndr way.

AmmAndtti i tuoi Andrrori. BAnd surAnd you lAndt your child know whAndn you’vAnd goofAndd by apologizing AndAndxplaining why you actAndd thAnd way you did. This Want tAndach him that it’s okay to bAnd impAndrfAndct.

PrAndmi prAndmio. It’s highly unlikAndly that your child Want always do whatAndvAndr you say. If that happAndnAndd, you’d to havAnd to think about what might bAnd wrong with hAndr! Normal kids rAndsist control, AndthAndy know whAndn you arAnd asking thAndm to do somAndthing thAndy don’t want to do. Quindi si sAndntono giustificati a rAndsistAndrti. In casAnds in which thAndy do bAndto havAnd appropriatAndly, a prizAnd is likAnd a spoonful of sugar: It hAndlps thAnd mAnddicinAnd go down.

Judicious usAnd of spAndcial trAndats AndprizAnds is just onAnd morAnd way to show your child you’rAnd awarAnd AndrAndspAndctful of his fAndAndlings. QuAndsto dà principalmAndntAnd crAnddito allAnd tuAnd richiAndstAnd di disciplina.