Eight Unexpected Cuddle (Yes, Cuddle) Positions You Need to Try
After a session of impassioned and strenuous lovemaking (lasting anywhere from hours to, conservatively, less than a minute), you collapse to the mattress, spent. There’s only one thing left to do now — apart from getting a glass of water and/or going to the bathroom — that’s right, it’s time to cuddle.
But while most people will agree that post-coital cuddling (or, hell, pre-coital cuddling) is one of the most enjoyable and romantic things you can do with another person, just like fingerprints, faces and pizza topping preferences, everyone’s cuddle method is a little different.
So what are the best cuddling positions? As with sex positions, what works for one person (or one couple) will be wildly inappropriate to another. So here’s a list of eight awesome cuddle options for you to try out next time you’re getting cozy together.
1. The Spoon
Ahh, the classic. If there’s such a thing as the vanilla ice cream of cuddling, spooning is it. Though, unlike the missionary position, spooning doesn’t feature the participants facing each other, much like the missionary position, spooning has incredible name recognition and cultural penetration. It has many benefits, like allowing for full-body contact, easily accommodating different partner shapes and sizes, and not forcing you to stare into the other person’s eyes the whole time. However, arm positioning can prove tricky, and it can also be a little lonely if you actually were hoping to stare into the other person’s eyes the whole time.
2. The Magic Flight
Love spooning but looking for some flexibility? You’re in luck! The Magic Flight (so named because it looks like you two are pushing off for a quick trip to the sky) mimics the Spoon from the waist up — but from the waist down, it’s much less invasive, as you’re free to extend your legs rather than pressing them against your partner’s. This is a great option for couples concerned about overheating — over overcrowding. However, if you really want the most pure cuddle per square inch, the classic Spoon might be the way to go.
3. The Cradle
Looking to move away from the whole spoon paradigm? Welcome to the Cradle. This position is great if one of you particularly needs to be lying on your back (whether it’s a strong preference of a health issue) and it’s also great as an option that allows for face-to-face time without necessarily feeling invasive, since the cradler can always rest their head in the crook of the cradlee’s neck. While this distant cousin of the Spoon does offer a fun alternative that’s great for couples who prefer a more Dom/sub dynamic even to their cuddling, it’s hard to argue that it delivers the pure body contact footage of some of the other cuddle positions.
4. The Twist
If the Spoon is vanilla, the the Twist has to be chocolate. But like, chocolate with something unexpected in it, like jalapeños, or maca root. The Twist is a raw, passionate cuddle that shoves two people together face-first and demands they hang onto each other for dear life. It’s the kind of cuddle that should only be undertaken if you really don’t care what the other person’s breath smells like. In short, it’s intense — but depending on what your couple is like, that might be just what you want.
5. The Independent
The Independent, meanwhile, is the polar opposite of the Twist — emphasis on polar. Not just because facing away from each other can feel a little cold, but because it’s a fantastic option if you want a little bit of cuddle action but not so much as to feel overheated. It’s also perfect if you tend to feel more comfortable facing in opposite directions but aren’t quite up for the Twist. And it can be useful after an argument, when you want to let the other person know you still love them — just scootch over in that direction a little until your backs are touching. (Of course, talking can also be helpful there.)
6. The Couch Twist
It’s an unfortunate myth that cuddling necessitates a bed. Some of the best cuddles happen on sofas, couches and even chesterfields (yes, that’s a real thing). Befitting the intense nature of the Twist, the Couch Twist is perfect for couples who need to cuddle right freakin’ now. No talk of getting up or moving to another room will satisfy these passionate cuddlers, and for that, you kind of have to grudgingly approve. Plus, here, you can get a leg up — literally.
7. The Couch Spoon
Pretty much the only position here where either participant could get anything done, the Couch Spoon is ideal for couples who want to cuddle and read (or, more likely, use their phones) at the same time. Well, fear not, compromise is at hand! Simply port your big spoon/little spoon setup from the bedroom to the living room, have the little spoon get between the big spoon’s legs, and you’re set.
8. The Body Heat
A perfectly sane and flexible midway point between the Twist and the Cradle, the Body Heat allows you to get a bit more or a bit less contact, and a bit more or a bit less face-time, depending on what exactly you both want. Need some space? One partner can shimmy down the other’s chest a bit. Want to feel close? Engage those legs — one partner can wrap theirs around the other, or you can intertwine them.
All illustrations by Carlee Ranger.
This article was co-authored by Jacqueline Hellyer. Jacqueline Hellyer is a Licensed Psychosexual Therapist and the Founder of The Love Life Blog and The LoveLife Clinic. With over 20 years of experience, Jacqueline specializes in sex advice, sex tips, and relationship advice. In addition to being an accredited Psychosexual Therapist with the Society of Australian Sexologists (SAS), Jacqueline is also a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF). Jacqueline holds a BSc in Biochemistry and Human Sciences from The Australian National University, a Graduate Diploma in Applied Science from the University of Canberra, a BA in Languages and Literature from the University of New England (AU), an MSc in Sexual Health from The University of Sydney, and an MSc in Consciousness, Spirituality & Transpersonal Psychology from The Alef Trust. Her work and expertise have been featured in Australian Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, Australian Women’s Health, Marie Claire, and 60 Minutes.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 1,130,951 times.
If you want to snuggle with your girl, but aren’t quite sure what to do, don’t worry! There are plenty of things you can try to make it comfortable and enjoyable for you both. Put your arm around her, hold her hand, or let her lay her head on your chest. You can also caress her or give her some gentle kisses. Snuggling is a way to feel closer to the person you’re with and to show affection.
Are you a big spoon or lil spoon person?
“Nothing has shown us how much we need touch more than social distancing,” says Maisha Aza, MSW, CMT, a sex and intimacy expert at Black Girl Tantra. “Humans need touch and crave it when we haven’t had enough of it.”
For such a primal need—even newborn kittens and puppies do it—cuddling isn’t just reaching for your partner and hanging on (though it also can be). Arms go numb, sweatiness happens and people have different tolerances for closeness (see also: reasons your cuddling expectations will never match reality). And some among us just don’t like cuddling (behold problems only women who hate cuddling will understand, including #3: TV blocking).
You can work with this and still get some oxytocin on. “”If you are touch averse, try getting as close as you can to the other person without touching or with as little touch as you want. Or shorten the amount of time you cuddle,” says Aza. “If it’s too much stimulation, let your partner know.”
And if your partner. goes to another school and lives in Canada, make sure you get some kind of touch, even if it’s just hugging your knees to your chest and giving yourself a squeeze. “Give yourself permission to cuddle up with a loving pet or a consenting human. We mammals need touch for the love, for the compassionate care, for beneficial release of hormones, regulation of our moods, and as a reminder that we’re all connected,” says Aza.
Can we please hear it for the under-appreciated butt-to-butt position?
Why does cuddling feel so good? It’s science, baby: specifically, brain chemistry. When you hug or snuggle with a partner, your pituitary gland releases a chemical called oxytocin, which has been shown to reduce stress and promote bonding in relationships. (There’s a reason oxytocin has been nicknamed the “love hormone!”) Other feel-good chemicals released during cuddling include dopamine, a neurotransmitter that helps you feel pleasure, and serotonin, a hormone that helps stabilize your mood.
In what sounds like a positively delightful area of research, scientists have linked cuddling to a number of mental, physical, and relationship benefits. A 2018 study published in the journal PLOS One found that people who received hugs were better able to handle interpersonal conflicts; another 2018 study published in the journal PNAS found a connection between handholding with a romantic partner and physical pain relief.
Just remember, not everyone wants to cuddle, or to cuddle for the same amount of time. Ask your partner what feels good for them—and be specific, says Shadeen Francis, a Philadelphia-based licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in sex therapy, emotional intelligence, and social justice: “Is it just a five-minute cuddle and then I can roll over or get up, or are you the sort of person that wants a good half-hour snuggle fest?” Nobody likes being trapped in little spoon and having to figure out how to extricate themselves!
Here are 10 cuddling positions to try with your partner on the bed, couch, or wherever you like to get cozy.
To cuddle with your girlfriend means to bring her close to yourself and grab her in your arms. This proves to be an awesome, feeling-full and mandatory part of every relationship as it helps you get closer to your girlfriend and improves the quality of your relationship-life. To cuddle with your girlfriend is not a rocket science and instead it is as easy as shaking hands with her. It increases your physical affection with her and becomes a reason for you both to spend some quality time together. While cuddling with your partner, these tips can be bought into use:
How to Cuddle with your Girlfriend
1. Get her hands in your hands:-
The first step in cuddling with your girlfriend is to get her hands in your hands first. We call this step as the signal of trust. When you hold your girlfriend’s hand in your hands, it is a signal that she can trust you and you won’t leave her hands in any worse condition of life and this is why even cuddling begins with this approach.
2. Begin slowly:-
When some people begin cuddling with their partner, they are too fast while doing this. It appears as if they are jumping up on their partner. We advise you not to do that. Don’t jump on your partner and instead be slow enough to give her time to adjust with it. You should give her a clue first that you wish to come closer. This can be done by decreasing distance slowly and steadily.
3. Have a Look at the Surroundings:-
Now, here comes the time to look at the surroundings. You should not be standing in a public place. It is better if you are sitting in a park or if you are at her house or your house. Just talk with her and try to flirt while bringing her closer towards you.
4. Calm her Down if she needs:-
If your girlfriend seems agitated with this act, first calm her down and say that you won’t get ahead if she refuses and you will reduce the distance only if she allows. Is she tries to change the topic, just give her a flying kiss. Begin with a kiss on cheeks in such a case and she will get calmed down.
5. Make Her Hot by Rubbing/Caressing:-
If she feels less interested in all this, you should first try making her hot by rubbing her at several arousing places or you can caress her in order to make her attracted towards you. Teasing your girlfriend by touching at several places or kissing her can also work in such a situation.
6. Ultimately Have a Hold:-
Now here comes the time to ultimately have a hold of your girlfriend. Grab her in your arms and kiss her passionately. This way of showing love has been bought into use since ages by couples. It also gives you time and chance to go ahead with your relationship as well as your partner. You can perform this anytime when you are with your girlfriend as it just increases love and does no harm to you both.
By: Chewy Editorial Published: July 24, 2017 Updated: January 20, 2021
How to Cuddle a Dog
There’s no better way to connect with your dog than a loving snuggle. Both dogs and humans share a primal need for touch, whether it’s spooning while we sleep, or being comforted during a storm. Petting our furry best friends actually has health benefits for both parties; physically connecting with your dog releases the “happy hormone” oxytocin in humans as well as dogs. But beyond the science that drives our need to cuddle, we snuggle up with one another because it just feels good. By understanding the power of cuddling, and how to do it in a way that’s beneficial to your canine companion, you’ll be able to share the love with your best friend. Here’s how to cuddle a dog the right way:
Why Cuddle a Dog?
Touch is one of the most important ways to let our dogs know how much they mean to us. A well-timed pet can convey praise, comfort, reassurance and, of course, love. Cuddling with your dog might seem like just a pleasant way to connect for a few minutes, but there are a number ways your touch can positively impact your dog’s state of mind. For example, a dog that’s nervous at the vet office might benefit from a calming shoulder massage. A dog that’s depressed after a loved one leaves for a trip or goes back to college will find comfort in some extra cuddle time. And don’t forget about the power of a well-timed pat for a job well done; a chest scratch after a speedy recall is a fantastic way to tell your dog “nice work!”
Cuddle time can do double duty as a chance to perform simple health and wellness checks on your dog. If you slow down while you’re petting and really focus on connecting with your dog, you’re more likely to pick up on changes to her topography, like lumps, bald patches, abrasions and ticks. Gentle petting can also be a gateway to helping dogs learn to accept handling of “iffy” areas, like ears and paws. If your dog enjoys frequent ears massages, she’ll be less likely to balk when it comes time to administer ear medication.
Finding the Right Way to Cuddle
Many of us assume that there are literally no holds barred when it comes to cuddling a dog, but they beg to differ. Every dog has a different take on what type of touch works for him or her. Some want all petting all the time and won’t allow you to stop once you’ve made first contact. Some dogs are situational about the type of cuddling they want, meaning they’re all for a cozy snuggle at the end of the day when they’re tired, but during waking hours they’d rather you throw the ball for them, thank you.
Others have specific “please pet here” and “avoid this area” spots on their body, and when you touch them they move around until you land on the preferred patch of fur. And there’s not only location to worry about; you also can add the speed, intensity and duration of the touch into the list of potential likes and dislikes.
Engage in ‘Mindful’ Cuddling
There’s a powerful magic that happens between human and animal when both parties are fully engaged in snuggling, and dogs aren’t the only beneficiaries. Connecting with our dogs is an easy way to reduce our own stress, anxiety and depression, whether our furry best friend has a therapy certification or not. Spending time cuddling with your dog can mitigate even the worst day at the office.
Engaging in “mindful” snuggle time takes the bond you share with your dog to an even deeper level. This type of petting borders on meditation, with your total focus shifted to your dog as you massage her. Slow down your breathing as you pet your dog, watch her responses as you touch her, and work through the different parts of her body at a leisurely pace, taking note of what she likes and doesn’t like. Vary the intensity of your pets, using a combination of deep tissue massage, gentle scratches and light strokes. When you finish a mindful snuggle, you’ll probably find that you’re as relaxed as your dog.
Focus on Your Dog’s Body Language
So how can you really tell if your dog loves the way you’re snuggling with her?
Our dogs let us know what works and what doesn’t through body language, and we can confirm if our dogs truly enjoy our cuddling style by watching how she reacts to it. The biggest “tell”? When you stop doing it she asks for more. Most dogs who want the petting party to continue will do something obvious, like nose-bump your hand, lean into your body or use a paw to gently tap you. A dog that’s enjoying a cuddle might settle into a down position and shut her eyes, or give a sigh of satisfaction.
Keep in mind that every dog has a cuddle-tolerance scale. Some are happiest when they’re draped across their person like a blanket, while others prefer to keep their distance, with just a single paw making contact with their person. Forcing a reluctant snuggler into a too-close clench is sure to make your dog start to resent your touch. If you notice that your dog moves just out of reach when you lean in for a cuddle, reconsider your technique.
If you notice that your dog leans away when you try to make contact, or doesn’t ask for more petting, you might be coming on a little too strong. And rethink those crushing hugs: research shows that most dogs aren’t a fan of them.
If your dog is ducking away from you more than you’d like (and noticing this requires an honest assessment), try backing off for a week or so. Rather than offering pats, snuggles and hugs, wait for her to request them from you. You’ll find that the more you let your dog make the decisions about cuddle time, the more often she’ll ask for it.
Victoria Schade is a dog trainer, author & speaker who has contributed to The Washington Post, Martha Stewart, and other publications.
If a woman has asked you to be her cuddle buddy, you probably said yes thinking that maybe there’s a chance to get to know her and maybe have casual sex. Or maybe you just really want to be able to connect with someone else on a non-sexual level – we all have different needs. But before you agree to be someone’s cuddle buddy, you need to know the rules. Yes, the rules. Who thought being a cuddle buddy could be so complicated. But it’s not complicated, these rules are in place to protect the both of you. So, here are the 13 rules every guy should know before they become a cuddle buddy.
Cuddle buddy isn’t a code word for sex
If you’re going into this thinking that she offered this to you because she wants to have sex with you, you’re wrong. Sure, some women do that. However, if she really only wants a cuddle buddy, she’s going to tell you. If you get a little handsy, she’ll also put you back into your place or just end it all together. So, if you’re thinking cuddle buddy is a code word for sex, think again. You may want to look for friends with benefits instead.
Be honest with yourself
You need to be honest with yourself and your reasoning for why you’re doing this. If you’re doing this as a way to get to her, it’s not the best and may backfire. If you’re doing this because you want a non-sexual intimate moment, then that’s totally fine and encouraged! So, before you go into this, really look at why you want this and if it’s the right move for you. If it’s not, then don’t do it.
Understand she isn’t your girlfriend
She isn’t your girlfriend. You don’t have any claim on her. If you like her, ask her out. However, if not and you see her out with another guy/girl, don’t become jealous. You two have a strict cuddle buddy agreement that you agreed to, so if anything, you wanted this. Now if something inside you changes, you need to tell them. But until then, you need to understand and accept that she isn’t yours.
Cuddle sessions only. Having sleepovers is not a good idea. You want to keep your cuddle buddy only for cuddle sessions. Having sleepovers only makes the situation more grey than black and white. So, you need to make this rule very clear ahead of time and they need to understand why it’s a rule. Now if there’s a snow storm or some unusual circumstance, then you can make an exception, but don’t be known for always bending the rules.
Keep your hands to yourself
If your hands are wandering, you’re no longer a cuddle buddy. You need to be respectful and keep your hands in appropriate areas. Having them on their butt or crotch area isn’t a good idea. Keep your hands above the covers and you’ll be fine. If your hands are starting to wander then you need to see if this is the right cuddle buddy for you.
If your ex asked you to be her cuddle buddy, say no
Having you ex as your cuddle buddy isn’t a good idea. You two were sexually intimate with each other, so going to a non-sexual activity isn’t going to work. You two will have sex. If that’s what you want, don’t ask them to be your cuddle buddy, it’s not going to end well. So, pick someone else who you haven’t had sex with and aren’t planning to. If your ex is asking you to be their cuddle buddy, you need to really look at why they’re asking you.
Don’t do this just because you like her
If you’re cuddling with this person because you like her, this isn’t going to end well for you. If they asked you to be their cuddle buddy, they probably don’t see you as someone they want to be with sexually. In that case, you need to know how you feel and not do it simply because it’s them. You can find someone else to cuddle with and not feel horrible during it. Cuddling is supposed to make you feel good, not bad.
If you’re starting to feel more, tell her
You need to be completely honest with this person. Cuddling may not be sexual, however, it’s extremely intimate, so developing feelings is entirely possible. If this happens, you need to express your feelings to them. Can you imagine cuddling someone you like week after week and keeping that information from them? It’s torture. Don’t torture yourself, just be honest.
Know when you pull the plug
If you’re starting to develop feelings for this person or vice versa, you need to know when to call it quits. You need to be mindful of not only your feelings but their feelings as well. If they’re starting to like you, but you don’t feel the same, holding them in your arms isn’t doing anyone any good. So, you have to be mature about the situation and know when to end things.
Don’t do anything date-like
Don’t ask this person out for a movie or dinner. This isn’t a cuddle buddy relationship then. This is moving into choppy waters. If they’re your cuddle buddy, keep them as such. If you enjoy spending time with them, then you need to tell them how you feel so that you also know how they feel. You like them, don’t waste your time, tell them. But in the mean, keep dinner dates and movies for someone else. If she asked you to be a cuddle buddy, you’re already removed as a dating option in her eyes.
You don’t need to text her outside of cuddle buddy hours
Now if you two were friends prior, of course, you’ll talk to each other. But if you only know this person for cuddling, then you’re under no obligation to call or text them outside of arranging a cuddle session. If you’re finding yourself talking to them all the time about non-cuddling related topics, well then you probably like them. But, don’t feel obliged to have to make small talk with them outside of cuddling.
You can date other people
If you have a cuddle buddy this doesn’t mean anything. This is a non-sexual relationship you have with someone. So, you’re free to date people. If you start to casually date someone, you simply need to tell your cuddle buddy the update and end the relationship. You can always go back to your cuddle buddy, there are not sexual ties, so it’s not taboo. Now, if you’re not wanting to date other people because of your cuddle buddy, you need to do a check with your feelings.
If you have sex, talk about it
We’re only human and after some time, maybe you two have sex. It could happen, let’s not rule it out. So, if this does happen, you’re going to have to talk about it. What’s going to happen next? This is no longer a platonic cuddle buddy relationship. Once sex is involved, it changes everything. Are you two going to continue to have sex or end the relationship altogether? Because once you have sex, going back to strictly cuddling isn’t going to happen.
Now that you know what the rules are for cuddle buddy relationships, follow them. You may not think you’ll need these rules, but with time, you’ll realize how important rules are with these type of relationships. If your feelings change, you have to either end the relationship or tell that person how you feel. Cuddle buddy relationships only work if you’re honest with yourself and what you need. So, follow your gut instinct and enjoy having a cuddle buddy.
Most people think that men do not like cuddling. However, the fact is, men like it if done in the right way. Men enjoy a lot of things about cuddling, but it requires some techniques.
Cuddling has a wide range of benefits, both physical and psychological. When cuddling, your blood pressure and heart rate will decrease and the bond between you and your partner will be consolidated through the production of oxytocin – the cuddle hormone. In addition, it helps to nurture further communication between the two of you, relieve pain, lower the risk of heart disease, improve your immune system. If you have acknowledged the benefits of cuddling with your significant other, then it is time to learn how to cuddle with your boyfriend. This article from Wikiyeah.com will show you 10 tips on cuddling in bed comfortably.
Cuddling In Bed – How To Cuddle With Your Partner
1. Don’t Put Pressure Into Him
If you put pressure into him about cuddling with you, you are making a big mistake. That just forces him to do something that he does not want to. Instead, you need to let your man cuddle you on his personal terms. Do not get angry if he does not instantly want to be affectionate or cuddly with you. Be patient.
2. Position Yourself Next To Him
When it comes to cuddling in bed, positioning yourself next to your partner is the first step you need to take. This sneaky step does not create any suspicion. If you feel that you have a good chance to cuddle him in bed, then you could get closer to him inch by inch.
Wait for a time when your partner is really relaxed and a little bit distracted with video games or movies. This great time is ideal for you to sit down as if you just want to relax next to him.
3. Move Closer To Him Slowly
To cuddle him, you need to be closer to get as much as possible. That means you should get closed enough so your thighs can brush against one another when you sit by him. Try to do this slowly so he does not realize that you have gotten so close. Do this by fidgeting more and more and pretending that you just try to relax or get more comfortable. This will help you land next to him without creating any suspicion.