How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Teens, listen up!

No matter who your parents are, there are a few things that you can do to drastically increase the chance of having them say “YES” rather then “NO.” Drastically!

Parents love to pretend they are cool and collected, but in reality, they are very predictable.
So much so that I guarantee that if you read the tips below, you can improve your life in several ways! Your parents will allow you to do more, trust you more and be more willing to see life from your perspective.

Try the tips below and let me know how they work out!

1. Ask with gratitude, show appreciation!

Nothing gets you a faster “No” from parents than giving them a feeling that they owe you or that you “deserve” things. Sure, they are responsible for your well-being and all that, but this is not an exercise in fairness. It’s about getting what you want.

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

So, when you ask for something, use an equal amount of gratitude and an equal amount of asking. Saying, “Dad, can I have an Electric Guitar?”, is a recipe for a dry, speedy and disappointing “No.” Instead, try this: “Dad, I know you buy me expensive stuff sometimes that you work really hard for. This is really great, thank you.” Whatever follows that will be much better received.

The point is not to trick your parents into thinking you care; the point is that appreciation spreads good will, which will certainly come back to you.

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

2. Trade what you want for what you can do

You may ask: “What can I possibly offer my parents? They hold all the cards!” Not true at all! Your parents care about one thing (having to do with you) almost more than anything: Your growing up into a responsible, happy adult. Any way you can show them that you are moving in the right direction will help your case endlessly.

So, when asking for something, also offer something in return. Two things you can always offer are doing specific chores and getting better grades in specific topics.

Being specific is important because that way, the results can be measured. Saying, “I’ll get better grades,” is one thing, but it’s much better to say, “I’ll get better grades in History.” You also actually have to mean it and do your part. Otherwise, your promise can have the opposite effect.

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

3. Make them look good

One thing your parents care about, whether they admit it or not, is how they appear to others. Adults often feel judged about their parenting skills, and any way you can help them to feel confident as parents is a good thing.

So, when hanging around your parents in public, put your grown-up pants on. Make polite conversation with their friends. Answer their redundant questions as interestingly as possible. Contribute to the social scene. Believe me — proud parents’ hearts and wallets are much more likely to be open to your requests.

4. Match funds

“Mom, I really need a new pair of jeans. I tried them on at the mall. They cost $70, but I don’t have that much money. If I pay for half of them with my babysitting money, can you contribute the rest?”

This request sounds appreciative, responsible and like you’re a kid that knows the value of money. Mom will probably buy it for you outright!

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

5. Earn credit, slowly

When you want Mom or Dad to buy you something small, then just go ahead and ask. But for the bigger things — a car, MacBook Air, Nikon DSLR, etc. — a more deliberate approach and sometimes patience is needed.

The main thing you will need to prove to them is that you’re mature enough to deserve that thing you want. Don’t ask me why, but it does appear to be the case.

Figure out small things that will make you seem more responsible and do them. Offer to take on small responsibilities and always do what you said you would do and a tiny bit more.

If you show that you want to contribute to the family and don’t resent your responsibilities, you will start to be seen in a whole different light — a more grown-up light. When that happens, asking for things will have a much higher rate of success.

6. Be part of the solution, not the problem

We all feel mistreated and deserving of more sometimes. Sometimes we really are. However, being mature sometimes means being happy with what we have! Many adults don’t seem to get this idea, BTW.

So, lower the rate of drama. Don’t cite unfairness towards you unless it’s blatant. When a sibling starts something, be the mature one and let it go. All this builds confidence and credit. And it helps build a platform for the eventual “Sure, I’ll get that for you.”

7. Ask for delayed response

When they’re pressed into a corner, or when they feel rushed, parents are much more likely to say “No” rather than “Yes.”

So, start any big requests with something like this: “Dad, don’t say yes or no right now. I want you to think about it before answering.”

This will give Dad (or Mom) time to consider what you want, and also make you look more mature by showing that you are patient enough to wait a day for the reply.

8. Stage your requests carefully

Setting the stage for any question you want to pop is a key to increasing the odds for “Yes”! Follow these rules for shifting things in your favor:

-Make sure the person you’re asking is in a good mood. Stressed parent = “No!”
-Make sure they have time: “Mom, do you have a minute?”

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

9. “No” doesn’t always mean no

So you asked for something and they said no. This is not perfect, but it’s not the end of the world, either.

Figure out why! Figure out the reason they turned you down and then ask what you have to do to make it a “Yes.” If you get a general, unhelpful response, dig further: “OK, you want me to be more mature. I want that too. How can I show you that?”

Your persistence will most likely not be annoying or be regarded as questioning your parent’s authority; It will actually be seen as an adult way of taking responsibility and going after what you want.

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

10. Remember: Your parents want to give you things!

Yes, they do! Your parents love you and look for opportunities to make your life better. They need to feel that you appreciate and deserve what you get. Learn how to ask and you will be rewarded.

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

For more tips, get three chapters of my upcoming book, How to Get Your Parents to Agree with You on Almost Everything, free!

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How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

It is possible to move out of your parents’ home at age 16, if certain criteria apply. In the United States of America a child is legally the responsibility of their parents until 18 years of age. In special circumstances, such as marriage or the child becoming a parent themselves, it is possible to become emancipated from your parents before the age of 18. Moving out can be stressful emotionally and financially, so it is best to talk it through maturely with parents or trusted adults. A 16-year-old is still considered a minor, therefore it is not easy to move out of your parents’ home.

Step 1

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Ask your parents for permission. Provide a list of reasons why you want to move out and how you plan to support yourself. Tell them where you plan to live with and who with. If your parents give you permission, you may be allowed to leave the family home. If your parents do not agree to you moving out, there are other circumstances in which you may be allowed to leave.

Step 2

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Support yourself financially. If you have dropped out of school and work full time, it is possible to leave home if you prove you can support yourself financially. This law is subject to review and you will have your circumstances assessed before being granted emancipation from your parents. Supporting yourself financially will show you are serious and can earn enough to take care of yourself

Step 3

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Get married. If you are in a long-term relationship, or in the unusual event you feel ready for marriage at 16, this will grant you emancipation, therefore allowing you to move out of your parents’ home. The Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center reports that marriage assumes that a person is able to support a minor of their own.

Step 4

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Provide an agreeable living situation for a minor. If you have a child and prove that you have the ability to provide a suitable living situation, you may be granted emancipation. However, becoming pregnant is not enough to grant you permission to leave the parental household; you must also prove that you are capable of supporting the child.

Step 5

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Join the military. In many states, becoming a member of the military automatically grants a person emancipation from their parents, as they are deemed independent.

Legal emancipation means a minor gaining the freedom associated with adulthood. This topic routinely provokes disagreement between children and their parents or guardians. The Commonwealth of Virginia has legal age laws that spell out how a minor can acquire many of the rights that adults enjoy.

Can I move out at 17 in Virginia?

If you are a minor in Virginia, you must reach 16 before you are allowed to move out. You still need your parents’ consent since, being a minor, they have the right to force you back home. You must be 18 years old to move out without parental consent.

The legal age of majority in Virginia

In the eyes of Virginia law, persons are considered to be adults once they reach the legal age of majority, which is 18 years old in the Commonwealth. Until such age, minors are still legally under the custody and control of their parents or guardians.

Parents or guardians are legally responsible for providing their minor children with basic necessities which include shelter, food, medical care, clothing, education, and supervision. They may be legally liable if the child violates any laws. Their potential legal responsibility, however, ends once the child reaches the age of majority.

Even so, there are certain situations in which a child may seek what is known as “emancipation” before reaching the age of 18 years. The emancipation of a minor in Virginia is ruled by Virginia Code Section 16.1-331,334.1.

A parent or legal guardian may also seek emancipation for a minor. Whoever initiates the process must convince the court that emancipation will serve the minor child’s best interests before they turn 18.

How does a minor become emancipated in Virginia?

To qualify for emancipation in Virginia, a minor child should be at least 16 years old. They can make their appeal by filing with the Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court in the administrative district where they or their parents live. The court will notify the parents who then become respondents in the emancipation procedure.

A request for emancipation must include the minor’s gender. In the case of parents or guardians as Petitioners, the request should contain their names and their relationship to the minor.

The court will then assign a guardian ad litem, a specially trained and certified lawyer approved and appointed by the court to legally represent the minor child. The Department of Welfare or the Department of Social Services may also be required to look into any accusations included in the petition.

Requirements for emancipation (Virginia Code § 16.1 – 331)

After a judicial hearing, a court may grant emancipation to a minor who is over 16 years of age if it has determined that:

  • The minor has entered into a lawful marriage (whether or not the partnership has since been terminated)
  • The minor is actively serving with any division of the United States Armed Forces
  • The minor voluntarily lives apart and separate from their parents or guardians, and that the minor is able to manage their personal affairs and can support themselves financially.

Results of emancipation on a minor

The emancipation of minors has important legal ramifications if granted. A minor who is granted emancipation may have the same legal rights as a person who is 18 years old, including:

  • The right to authorize medical, dental, or psychiatric treatment without their parents’ consent
  • The right to enter into a legal contract or execute a will
  • The right to establish their own residence
  • The right to buy and/or sell real estate
  • The right to enroll in their chosen school or college
  • The right to secure a driver’s license without the consent of their parents
  • The right to marry without parental, judicial or other consent
  • The right to their own earnings, free from parental or guardian control

Likewise, the parents or guardians who are granted emancipation of a minor are released from certain responsibilities and obligations. These include:

  • Parents of an emancipated minor will no longer be held as the legal guardians of the child
  • They will be relieved of any support obligations for the minor.
  • They will no longer have legal obligations regarding the child’s school attendance.

Is it illegal to run away from home in Virginia?

Runaways are children below 18 years old who leave home with no intention of coming back. The minor might have left their home alone or with someone who is not a parent or guardian.

In Virginia, a minor who runs away from home is not considered a criminal. As such, all runaway incidents are handled as non-criminal issues. Just because a minor has been reported as a runaway doesn’t mean they will have a juvenile record.

The Juvenile Domestic Relations Court’s Family Counseling Unit provides counseling and assistance for a family to recognize and set straight the problems that may cause a minor to run away from home. Both parents and the Family Counseling Unit can work hand in hand to benefit the child and family. Only cases that reach the court can result in a juvenile record for the child.

Contact us

Emancipation of a minor can be a complex subject. It involves certain steps as well as some unwelcome legal consequences that you should discuss with a Virginia family law attorney.

Encourage your children to take risks. Photograph: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

Encourage your children to take risks. Photograph: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

M odern parenting seems to be in trouble when it comes to managing the boundaries between the generations. In some households, Mum and Dad pretend to be their children’s “best friends”. They may even become fans of the same boy bands or share a tent at Glastonbury. They splash cash and offer 24-hour catering. It’s even rumoured that – if begged – they’ll do homework or pass their child’s exams. All of which indicates to me there’s a crisis in Parentland.

Not that this applies to you, although your sprog may soon be trogging off to college or Peru. September is the cruellest month for separation anxiety. And more often than not, it’s the parents who can’t bear the separation. We no longer feel we’re abandoning our children on campus but that they’ve abandoned us at home. And so we muddle the bounds, with a little help from technology.

En route from dropping them at uni, we text the darlings. Our messages are superficially comforting. Are they OK? Did we forget something? Have they got cash, cake and condoms? Will they be sure to Skype this evening? When shall we come for a visit? Do you want to put eight tickets for next year’s May ball on our credit card? If you’re at all homesick, for God’s sake call. Please let everyone know on Facebook that you’ve temporarily relocated – with the stress on temporarily – because we’re entering a major phase of complicated grief in a blind panic and we’re the ones who need the comforting!

In times past, children would probably have cut their apron strings sooner. My bid for freedom followed O-levels. At 16, I flounced out of my Cheshire home with a rucksack, a leaky umbrella and an indeterminate plan to become a Scottish crofter. I got as far as hitchhiking to Carlisle before the rain pelted down and nobody would give me a lift. When I phoned home, my dad just said: “Where are you? I’ll be there.” I’m grateful to this day that he didn’t try to humiliate me. Next time, I crossed the border and stayed. A year after, I hitched to Istanbul and back. No, I didn’t phone home; I was trusted to send the odd postcard.

The prevailing wisdom of my parents was that children need a pinch of risk as much as vitamins. (Without it, they will never learn a thing and probably turn into Howard Hughes, the once reckless aviator who ended his days encased in a latex tent with 22-inch fingernails.) I do speak about relative risk. I don’t hold with dumping your babies on mountains like the ancient Spartans to see if the wolves are partial to frozen steak.

Nor do I complain that after centuries of preferring horses to children, Britons have become more caring as parents and no longer stick minors up chimneys or birch their bums. I belong to an excellent charity called Children are Unbeatable, which is dedicated to ending the right of parents to commit common assault on their young. But there’s caring and caring.

Consider the case of the black-headed gull – a pest in some eyes – but probably a better parent than we humans . Mother bird simply locks the larder once junior can fly, having attained an adult size and weight. The rule is simple: “No more regurgitated mackerel for you, my pet, find your own!” Days will pass while outraged child prods her with the cry of “Gimme” like some stroppy teenager deprived of broadband. But the young bird adapts. It has to. The law of our animal kingdom says there’s a time to grow up. A time that we as social animals sometimes seem determined to push into middle age.

All parents “fail” in some sense. A noted shrink once told me: “A parent’s place is in the wrong.” No, I do not underestimate the challenges. But I do suggest that an overprotected child is a deprived one and if they find themselves in an arrested stage of development they should make a claim for psychological abuse.

There’s evidence that our brains don’t think objectively until at least the age of 25, so you could claim it doesn’t greatly matter if our offspring are unsure of themselves at twentysomething. But the evidence from history suggests that a sterner environment is perfectly capable of training this undeveloped brain into well-intended social action from the early teens, whether that activity is becoming the head of the household like a child in modern Bangkok or fighting the fascists in the last world war.

So when adolescents do depart, how can a helicopter parent come to terms with slowing their rotors and whirling less dervishly? First, you might take comfort from the fact that when your kids vanish, even though your heart is breaking, like an expensive boomerang they’ll be back. I promise you that.

“When the boy moves out,” we used to say, and I imply no lack of love for my youngest, “I can stop working weekends and we could repaint the entire flat.” “New rugs!” shouted my partner deliriously. It also occurred to us that not worrying about our womb fruit pleasuring his playmate with mixed grills, all-night movies and the spare mattress might in itself constitute a home improvement.

And so he left. Not yet 20 and gone to cohabit with his mischosen one on his grandfather’s minute legacy. I felt down but not distraught. We passed happy days refurbishing everything. The new carpets were as swish as an ice rink.

But at this moment, half a year on, our prodigal hit the financial rocks, reoccupied his old quarters and while finalising a work of art, mainly in the bathroom sink, succeeded in scattering indelible pink ink from a leaky Tesco bag into the centre of the virgin Axminster.

Second, and far more importantly, separation is good and essential for you both. It’s truistic to state that children need to become independent decision-makers who learn from their own mistakes and failures. Otherwise, how will they manage to put your affairs in order on the day you die? Since you cannot promise to live forever, you have to learn to let them go.

But for your own sake (and to follow up this idea scan the works of the brilliant psychologist Erik Erikson) you need to deal with the “tasks” of your very different stage of life.

These do not include getting down on the dancefloor with the kids but facing up to the fact that, as a parent, you are becoming unemployed and are confronted by a void of bereavement that you must confront. For as long as you cling to your children like a lifebelt, you will cease to grow up.

Overcoming the negative influence of guilt with a troubled adult child.

As a psychologist working with children and teens for over 30 years, I have counseled many troubled, overly dependent adult children. It is heart-wrenching to see these young adults in a self-defeating holding pattern with little motivation. Further unfortunate, as I have seen as a coach for parents of struggling adult children, is how emotionally and financially draining this can become for their parents. Common among this adult child population, the parents, and consistent with the myriad of comments from my readers on this topic, are stories of substance misuse, depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem.

Troubled adult children often are master manipulators of their frustrated, desperate feeling parents. They know the guilt-triggering painful comments to say to their emotionally exhausted, vulnerable parents such as, “Okay, great if you are not going to help me then I will just end up on the street and die!” Or, “All you do is tell me to get a job, stop pressuring me or I will kill myself.” Sadly, your guilt, which in most cases is not justified, makes you vulnerable to the manipulations of your troubled adult child.

It has felt good to see some readers of my previous posts on this topic respond to one another’s comments and offer mutual support. This empowering social support often takes the place of coaching one another to feel empowered by setting limits.

Yet, sadly, a few readers have responded with hostility to one other due to the polarizing effect this topic seems to produce. That is, parents of struggling adult children often to go “all or nothing” in looking at their situation: Either the struggling adult child needs to be let sink or swim or the parents are okay nurturing the struggling adult along. The answers are not always so black or white.

Guilt muddies the waters for parents of troubled adult children. Guilt plays tricks on the mind. It can convince you that your child’s struggles are your fault. But given the role of genetics, negative peer influences, and personality characteristics that come in to play, parents would do well to serve themselves up some healthy doses of self-compassion.

As my best friend from kindergarten says, “The only perfect people are in the cemetery!” So, if you’ve done something about which you’re ashamed, apologize to your adult child and move on. Do your best not to dwell on it, otherwise it can continually serve as a manipulation tool by your adult child.

Following are five red flags that your adult child is manipulating you:

1. Your adult child holds you emotionally hostage by threatening to hurt or kill herself or himself. Adult children who are truly at risk for self-harm need to be taken seriously. But repeated, guilt inducing, manipulative, toxic plays for attention or leniency to get out of facing responsibilities needs to be directly called out and addressed.

2. Your hear lying through “selective memory. You swear you had a conversation about a plan and everyone was pumped up and on the same page, But then one day, your adult child pretends to remember the conversation completely differently, if at all.

3. Your adult child does not take life on—but you do. You are shouldering his or her debt, taking on a second job, or taking on additional responsibilities while your adult son or daughter is caught up in inertia, being seemingly endlessly non-productive. You and your spouse or other family members feel strain created by the excessive neediness from this overly dependent adult child.

4. Your adult child “borrows” money from you because she or he can’t maintain solid or consistent employment. He says he intends to pay you back but that never happens. Yes, it is okay to help adult children out financially at times, as long as you are not being exploited in doing so.

5. You’re resigned to disrespect. You think that because your adult child has “problems” that lets him or her off the hook from showing heartfelt respect. You may notice that he or she seems respectful when wanting something from you. Your adult child, however, turns on a dime or gets passive-aggressive if you refuse the request. You feel worn down and accept this emotional chaos as normal.

Tips for Breaking Free From Your Adult Child’s Manipulations

  • Be calm, firm, and non-controlling in your demeanor as you express these guiding expectations below to motivate your adult child toward healthy independence:
  • Set limits on how much time you spend helping your child resolve crises. Encourage the child to problem-solve by asking, “What are your ideas?” If he or she reflexively responds with, “I don’t know.” then politely say something like, “I believe in your resourcefulness and know you’ll feel better about yourself when you give this some further thought.”
  • Set firm boundaries with your child if he’s constantly using your guilt to manipulate you.
  • While living with you, encourage working children to contribute part of their pay for room and board. If unemployed, for starters, have them help out around the house with gardening, cleaning, or other chores.
  • Don’t indiscriminately give money. Providing spending money should be contingent on adult children’s efforts toward independence.
  • Develop a response that you can offer in the event that you are caught off guard. Agree that you won’t give an answer for certain time period whether it be the next morning or at least for 24 hours. For example, the next time you get an urgent text that says, “I need money,” respond by saying, “I’ll have to talk it over with your father [or, if you are single, ‘I’ll have to think it over’] and I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” This will allow you time to consider it and give you a chance to think and talk about it beforehand. It will also show that you are remaining steady in your course while presenting a united front.
  • Remember that you always have the right to say “I changed my mind” about a previous promise.
  • Remember you are not in a popularity contest. Be prepared for your child to reject you. He or she will most likely come around later.
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Everyone should learn about paying rent and living with room mates

As a pastor I am asked to do many weddings.

I require every couple to meet with me at least 4 times as we plan the wedding and work through ways to try to make the marriage last long term. I refuse about 30% to 40% of people who want a wedding.

They are not ready.
Some have never lived on their own.
Some expect their spouse to take over the role of indulgent parent.
Some have no concept of working and paying bills.
Some will likely blame their disappointment with marriage on their partner even though they are really disappointed by the need to take responsibility for their own life, home and choices.

Almost everyone should move out and grow up by age 18, and only grown ups should get married.

Cuz its about time!!

18 years at home!! Why wouldn’t you wanna leave they should get out there and start figuring out what they should do with their lives and people are saying 18 year olds are still teens well yeah but that doesn’t mean they’re babies LET GO OF THEM!! Parents need to stop being so overprotective

Yes they should

Why should adult teens stay with their parents? Unless they have some debilitating condition that prevents them moving, Teens should be encouraged to move at 18 and start their own lives. Parents aren’t always in a better position financially when they’re older and it’s sometimes a burden on them when kids stay and stay just because they think their parents should support them well into their 20s.

Yeah they should

Yes I think that we should have to allow teens to move out when they are 18 ok and they should have to let all teens and of course all teenagers to be able to move out when they are 18 ok ok ok bye bye ok bye to the

Ya ya ya

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They should be allowed

I think that teens at the age of 18 should be allowed to move out if they want to move out ok when teens turn 18 they should be aloud to move out and live on their own for the rest of their life ok ok ok ok bye bye

Of course They should

Why should adult teens stay with their parents teens should be allowed to move at 18 if they want to ok and yes I think that we should allow teens to move out at the age of 18 if they want to move out at age 18 ok bye 👋

They finished school with the basics and if they have a stable career of their own they should have the right to move out.

If they are now a legal adult and can be punished as one, I find it only fair that they are given the right to move out and live for themselves instead of playing second fiddle. Many years in one place with a person who has grown wanting to see more is normal and they should seek more just as our parents and their parents did. You cannot cage a bird forever.

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Yes. . . Or no.

Some people are ready for the challenges of starting life alone by the age of 18, With a steady job, Schedule, And good money management.
Some people are not ready, But may need a change in routine and spaces to feel confident and comfortable in life. (Some parents are controlling, Confusing, Absent, And all sorts of things that can weigh down the mental and emotional capacity in a growing person’s life) if this is the case, It might be reasonable for the 18 year old to find a new (STABLE) place to be, To allow for less stress or self doubt and more hope and motivation for life and the future.
On the other hand, Some teenagers are uninterested in careers and budgeting and simply living an adult life for other reasons; laziness maybe. . Possibly even drug abuse. . Many things. In this case, If there is no urge within the person to move forward in life realistically, Then maybe they need more time, More support and most definitely, More knowledge of what life is actually like. I think 18 is a very appropriate age for state laws to allow choices to be made by the individual rather than the parents or guardians. I do not think a parent or guardian should ‘kick out’ their 18 year old simply because it’s reached “that time. ” Everyone is different and many people find it easier to cope with life and mistakes and failure when they are no longer under the constant supervision of parents. Many others find that time at home after high school graduation gives them a chance to comfortably begin defining themselves as an adult as well, And many find that a mixture of motivation, Action, And parental support is the best for them.

The most important thing is making a decision based on realistic reasons and realistic world views.
And for parents, The most important thing might be letting your child make that decision *themselves, * and allowing them to learn from whatever the result or consequence may be. After all, That’s one of the first steps to becoming a self directed and realized adult, And every parent should have gone through that process themselves.

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16Moving a teenager out of state is a great challenge both for the parents and for the teen as well. It may be stressful but when a relocation has to be done, you need to find a way to cope with the situation. As an opportunity for you, as a parent, comes out to get a better job or improve your life in any other way, a relocation may be necessary. Moving a teenager out of state with you may be stressful for all of you but sometimes taking such decisions are for the better. Young people may have a hard time understanding their parents’ willingness to move long distance and get advantage of a chance that they have. As difficult as it may sound to relocate a teen, there are a few things to know which can help. How to help a teenager cope with moving? This is what we are going to find out now.

How to move a teenager guide

Considering the difficulties of learning how to move a teenager, there may be one thing common for all of you though – culture shock. Besides that aspect of a move, there are plenty of positive aspects of moving a teenager to a new school in a new area. In order to assist a teen with relocating, there are a few things to know.

First of all, talking to your teenager is very important. Moving a teenager to a new school is a big deal for teens – they’ve made friends at school, they’ve probably also got their girlfriend or boyfriend, they’ve got their hobbies, etc. All of that is very important to a teenager and understanding that as a parent will help you when you talk to your child. As you are planning the move, you can review the school options together with your teenager and see what sports and clubs available there are. Or perhaps your teen can try something new to make friends quicker! Explore together with your teenager the opportunities that are available for young people to have fun like going to the beach, surfing, skiing, etc. Once you know the good things about the area where you will be moving to, it will be easier to talk with your teen and bring out the positive aspects of the move. Of course, encurage your teen to exchange contacts and keep in touch with the friends that he/ she already has. In other words, make a list in front of your teen about all the things that he/ she will find enjoyable but are not available at the moment and the relocation will bring them. You can even organize a goodbye party for your teenager and his/ her friends at your house – now that would be fun! Yes, a move can be difficult for a teen but trying to work something out can make things simpler and easier for all.

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16Here in this article you will read what you must know before relocating with a teenager to a different state!

How to help a teenager cope with moving? Remember that many teens have a hard time leaving their friends and the environment they already know and are used to. Fitting in can also be a problem. When moving a teenager to a new high school this can be very difficult – usually kids will have already formed groups of friends and fitting in into any of them can be quite stressful. That is why your role of a supporter is very important. As parents, you can help your kid adapt. You can let your teen go visit his/ her friends back where you lived or invite his/ her best friend over once in a while so that your teen won’t feel that lonely. In order for your teen to adapt, you can search together for things that he/ se can do like joining a sport’s club or a dance group, plying chess, football, swimming, whatever that will bring your teen into an environment with other young people his/ her age. In a situation when moving a teenager out of state the teen can experience a lot of stress out of being alone so joining a group that he/ she would be happy with can help a lot. Encourage your kid to participate in school activities like a theater group or a sports’ team – that should help them get to know the kids at school and find a group of new friends to join. Remember to also explain to your teen the reasons for moving – whether they are financial or different, anything that is so important for you as parents to make you move, deserves to have your teenager’s attention.

As you can see, how to move a teenager is not all you should know; being ready to assist moving a teenager out of state can be crucial for the young person as they re going to be relocating at a very delicate age of their life. Anyway, what you must know is that your support and assistance could make a great difference when relocating to a new state with your teen(s). Moving can be stressful for you as well but your teen has you to look up to you for help and advice as well. Whatever your situation is, don’t give in and do your best to make things better, and certainly your efforts won’t be without a result.

Have you recently turned 16, or have a 16-year-old child and are wondering exactly what you/they can legally do at this milestone age? Look no further! Since eSpares is currently celebrating its Sweet 16th birthday, we were curious as to all the options now open to us. The result? This unofficial (and in no way recommended) guide.

1) Register to Vote

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

If you are truly keen to get your foot in the voting door and have your say about the running of the country, making sure you are registered to vote when you turn 16 is a good way to go about it, leaving you ready to go 2 years in advance. There’s no such thing as being too early, right?

2) Get Married (with parental consent)

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Found your soulmate while still in secondary school? Lucky you! However, if you want to tie the knot before you’re 18 you need to convince your parents that it’s not just puppy love you’re feeling.

3) Leave Home

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

16 marks the age you can officially wave bon voyage to your family, moving out into the big wide world. However, you need to be deemed mature enough to do so by the courts and can be promptly dragged back again if you’re considered to be in danger.

4) Get Frisky

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

I don’t think we need to spell out what this one means.

5) Apply for a Passport

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

You can now officially apply for an adult passport, allowing you to travel unaccompanied without parental permission. Now, unless you have very generous/rich parents, you just need to save up your pocket money to afford the flight. We hear Cyprus is nice this time of year.

6) Drink (in extreme moderation)

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Can’t wait until you’re 18 to start drinking away your problems? Don’t worry! When visiting a restaurant with someone of age, you can enjoy a beverage with your meal.

7) Join the Army (with parental consent)

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Although you have to be 18 to be deployed and serve within the army, you can sign up and begin training at 16. Just be warned kids, it’s nothing like Call of Duty.

8) Buy a Pet

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Have your parents been refusing to buy you a puppy? No problem! Now you can buy one yourself and bring it home as a nice surprise for your family. Whether they will let you keep it (or trust you ever again) is another matter entirely.

9) Buy a Lottery Ticket

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Dreading having to start work and earn a living? Start investing in your future now by stocking up on lottery tickets, increasing your chances of becoming a millionaire.

10) Get a Piercing

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

There is no better way to advertise your rebellious teen status than getting a piercing (or 2). Take that, mum and dad.

11) Drive a Tractor

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Whether you want to be a farmer or just find an alternative way to travel, being 16 gives you the freedom to operate a tractor (although you need lessons first).

12) Pilot a Glider

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

If a tractor wasn’t cool enough for you, or you simply don’t want to be tied to land, once you turn 16 you can get your hands on a glider license, allowing you to be head and shoulders above your fellow teens.

13) Change your name by Deed Poll

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Not a fan of the name your parents gave you? Well, now you don’t have to live with it any longer as you can change your name to something more to your liking.

14) Register as a Blood Donor

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

We were going to try and throw in some kind of vampire joke, but all the ones we thought of sucked…

Anyway, you can register as a blood donor at 16 in preparation to donate on your next birthday.

15) Work as a Street Trader

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

Have you ever gone to a market and thought, ‘Wow, I wish I too could stand there screaming prices at potential customers’? You’re in luck! You can now sell yours or an employer’s wares on the street.

16) Sell Scrap Metal

How to convince your parents to let you move out when you turn 16

If you don’t fancy being a street trader, maybe this will be more up your alley. Why not sell scrap metal for some extra cash? It may not be a steady workflow but it surely gains you more cool points.

So that’s 16 things you can do when you turn 16. Did you have a go at any of these when you turned 16? Let us know in the comments! If not, why not find out how to fix your pesky first world problems next? If there’s anything teens love, its quick fixes for mild inconveniences.

Overcoming the negative influence of guilt with a troubled adult child.

As a psychologist working with children and teens for over 30 years, I have counseled many troubled, overly dependent adult children. It is heart-wrenching to see these young adults in a self-defeating holding pattern with little motivation. Further unfortunate, as I have seen as a coach for parents of struggling adult children, is how emotionally and financially draining this can become for their parents. Common among this adult child population, the parents, and consistent with the myriad of comments from my readers on this topic, are stories of substance misuse, depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem.

Troubled adult children often are master manipulators of their frustrated, desperate feeling parents. They know the guilt-triggering painful comments to say to their emotionally exhausted, vulnerable parents such as, “Okay, great if you are not going to help me then I will just end up on the street and die!” Or, “All you do is tell me to get a job, stop pressuring me or I will kill myself.” Sadly, your guilt, which in most cases is not justified, makes you vulnerable to the manipulations of your troubled adult child.

It has felt good to see some readers of my previous posts on this topic respond to one another’s comments and offer mutual support. This empowering social support often takes the place of coaching one another to feel empowered by setting limits.

Yet, sadly, a few readers have responded with hostility to one other due to the polarizing effect this topic seems to produce. That is, parents of struggling adult children often to go “all or nothing” in looking at their situation: Either the struggling adult child needs to be let sink or swim or the parents are okay nurturing the struggling adult along. The answers are not always so black or white.

Guilt muddies the waters for parents of troubled adult children. Guilt plays tricks on the mind. It can convince you that your child’s struggles are your fault. But given the role of genetics, negative peer influences, and personality characteristics that come in to play, parents would do well to serve themselves up some healthy doses of self-compassion.

As my best friend from kindergarten says, “The only perfect people are in the cemetery!” So, if you’ve done something about which you’re ashamed, apologize to your adult child and move on. Do your best not to dwell on it, otherwise it can continually serve as a manipulation tool by your adult child.

Following are five red flags that your adult child is manipulating you:

1. Your adult child holds you emotionally hostage by threatening to hurt or kill herself or himself. Adult children who are truly at risk for self-harm need to be taken seriously. But repeated, guilt inducing, manipulative, toxic plays for attention or leniency to get out of facing responsibilities needs to be directly called out and addressed.

2. Your hear lying through “selective memory. You swear you had a conversation about a plan and everyone was pumped up and on the same page, But then one day, your adult child pretends to remember the conversation completely differently, if at all.

3. Your adult child does not take life on—but you do. You are shouldering his or her debt, taking on a second job, or taking on additional responsibilities while your adult son or daughter is caught up in inertia, being seemingly endlessly non-productive. You and your spouse or other family members feel strain created by the excessive neediness from this overly dependent adult child.

4. Your adult child “borrows” money from you because she or he can’t maintain solid or consistent employment. He says he intends to pay you back but that never happens. Yes, it is okay to help adult children out financially at times, as long as you are not being exploited in doing so.

5. You’re resigned to disrespect. You think that because your adult child has “problems” that lets him or her off the hook from showing heartfelt respect. You may notice that he or she seems respectful when wanting something from you. Your adult child, however, turns on a dime or gets passive-aggressive if you refuse the request. You feel worn down and accept this emotional chaos as normal.

Tips for Breaking Free From Your Adult Child’s Manipulations

  • Be calm, firm, and non-controlling in your demeanor as you express these guiding expectations below to motivate your adult child toward healthy independence:
  • Set limits on how much time you spend helping your child resolve crises. Encourage the child to problem-solve by asking, “What are your ideas?” If he or she reflexively responds with, “I don’t know.” then politely say something like, “I believe in your resourcefulness and know you’ll feel better about yourself when you give this some further thought.”
  • Set firm boundaries with your child if he’s constantly using your guilt to manipulate you.
  • While living with you, encourage working children to contribute part of their pay for room and board. If unemployed, for starters, have them help out around the house with gardening, cleaning, or other chores.
  • Don’t indiscriminately give money. Providing spending money should be contingent on adult children’s efforts toward independence.
  • Develop a response that you can offer in the event that you are caught off guard. Agree that you won’t give an answer for certain time period whether it be the next morning or at least for 24 hours. For example, the next time you get an urgent text that says, “I need money,” respond by saying, “I’ll have to talk it over with your father [or, if you are single, ‘I’ll have to think it over’] and I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” This will allow you time to consider it and give you a chance to think and talk about it beforehand. It will also show that you are remaining steady in your course while presenting a united front.
  • Remember that you always have the right to say “I changed my mind” about a previous promise.
  • Remember you are not in a popularity contest. Be prepared for your child to reject you. He or she will most likely come around later.