How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

Men are complex. Sometimes they just can’t do without us but will still pretend like they don’t need us. Act like you don’t care and you see them going crazy. This is one of the smartest tricks to leave him crazy for you. Ignore! When men get a lot of attention from you they pretend like they can have just about anyone and they don’t need to make efforts. Does ignoring a guy make him want you more? Yes! Therefore, the best way to have the craving for your attention is to practice ignorance. How to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson and make him chase you? Here’s how:

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

f you give a guy too much of your attention, they take that for granted. They just like the adventure that goes into wooing a girl. They like to seek happiness in the fact that they won over someone who was too hard a catch. If you make yourself readily available they don’t consider you a prize. To be honest, men like having someone who is desired by all but ultimately he is the one who wins her over. If you are not difficult to have, you are not worth having. As hard as this sounds, this is how they think.

How to ignore a guy?

Ignite that madness

This is something that is true for all regardless of gender. When we have something easily we don’t really bother about that much. Don’t you get too determined to have something that you are passionate about and haven’t received it yet? This is the same psychology that works in love too. So, make him feel like he can’t have you. Make him feel like you are way beyond his league and see how he leaves everything to get you. This way you will always be a distant catch that he is ever ready to have in his life.

Crush their ego

Men have a huge ego. They like to feel at the top of the world. Stay in control is something the love. They like to exert their prowess in every field of life. That is also the same in the case of attracting a mate. He will do everything in his might to pursue you. The satisfaction he would get is unparalleled to him. When you act like no matter what he does for you, you just don’t feel that is enough, he will shower you with his attention more. He will seek for answers. If you think that he won’t really be interested if you act this way, you are wrong. Make him go through the pain of having you. Trust me he will value you more.

Reinstate your worthiness

What most of us do wrong is acting as men own us right at the first instance of showing interest. We would do everything possible to have their attention and sweet talk like nobody ever could. We just wish to have him get bowled over how hooked we are onto them. If the man you like is quite the one whom every girl desires, be sure that is has a ballooning ego. He is used to having eyeballs turn at his every move. Such men will definitely need some ignorance. You have to make him feel like he can’t have you like everyone else he did previously. You have to show those skills which no one else did previously.

Show him how it feels to be ignored

If you are in a relationship where your man seems the least bothered about you, then you need to make him feel the pain too. Sometimes, communication doesn’t work well with men who are stubborn. Just ignore him completely for a few days, avoid his texts and calls and see how he wants to be around you again. This is how you teach him a lesson. This gives him an even greater signal. Don’t worry about what he thinks when you ignore him. It shows him that you have enough worth to get what you want and that he needs to be grateful for what he has and give you what you deserve. Or else, you have no problem in walking away.

Consider showing off and having fun without him

Exchange a few glances with other men when he is with you. Dress well. Look fabulous and garner the attention of other men. Make him feel like he is lucky he has you. Skip plans with him and go out with your friends. Show him that you have a life of your own if you have been the clingy one in the relationship. When he suddenly realizes that he has lost control over you, he will want that back. Start flirting, show him that there are other men who are craving to have you in their lives. Once he realizes what he is about to lose if he doesn’t mend his ways, he will be pretty scared to lose you and will work on ways to make you feel important.

Advising on how to act around a guy you like isn’t easy as every guy is different. There are many ways in which you can make someone fall for you. While doing so, being yourself is the key to a long-lasting relationship.

Advising on how to act around a guy you like isn’t easy as every guy is different. There are many ways in which you can make someone fall for you. While doing so, being yourself is the key to a long-lasting relationship.

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
– Dr. Seuss

You saw this guy at a party and could soon sense some feelings surfacing. You tried to avoid them, but that something special kept making itself evident every now and then. Somehow you managed to get yourself an introduction through a common friend. You get talking and realize you are actually speaking a lot. Too many things in common is always a good thing, isn’t it? Both of you exchange numbers and meet up a few times over coffee. Your feelings for him won’t curb down and his on the other hand, don’t seem to leave the ground at all. You start wondering if something is really going wrong somewhere. Are you behaving in a manner that you shouldn’t?

Would you like to write for us? Well, we’re looking for good writers who want to spread the word. Get in touch with us and we’ll talk.

Bang! Realization finally hits! But then, what do you do now? Are there some laid-down rules you need to follow? Well, not really! However, there are certain things you should completely avoid in front of a guy you like; a few of these are mentioned below. These will surely help you stay in his mind for good. Just follow the 5 simple tips mentioned below and in no time, you will observe great positive changes!

How You Should Act Around a Guy You Like

Keep It Simple, Silly

The first lesson is to keep everything simple. Guys like girls who are sorted out and easy to be with, but difficult to get. Keep your opinions, suggestions and advice on most things simple and clear. When you are with him, don’t complicate things unnecessarily. Don’t try to ask him too much about himself and don’t tell too much about yourself. If he asks you a question, answer it and if you don’t want to, tell him you can’t and why you can’t do so. Too much of information right from the start, leaves less to discover later. If you don’t like something about him, tell him nicely. Do not act in a way that implies what you think, keep it straight. Even the relationship status should be simple. Either you are friends or you are dating. A girl who is very easy, is hardly ever taken seriously! Even if you love the guy, no dignity for yourself, will mean less respect in his eyes!

Say No to the Jealousy Act

While knowing how to act around a guy you like, always remember this one lesson. Never try to make him jealous. No guy likes competition in the slightest form. There will be times when you might want to show him that you can get anyone you want. However, at such times, he’s just going to think that you can settle for anyone and have no feelings for him. If you like a guy, the first you need to do is maintain a healthy distance from other guys. Let him know that you are a girl who takes time in knowing someone. There may be men who fall for you during this time, but if you have your eyes on this one guy, set good boundaries for others. Since at the moment you aren’t getting much attention from him, you might like it from someone else. However, you have to consciously remember that this will work against you!

Healthy Flirting

Just being sweet and simple is not enough as this doesn’t show your feelings for that guy. It’s all about maintaining a perfect balance. Maybe he is waiting for some sort of a signal from your side to proceed. Guys take time to understand, so it’s important that you show him you like him. Flirt a little, but keep it more witty and intelligent than romantic or sensuous. Healthy flirting should exist in every relationship. Flirt with him once in a while, and he’ll know you are thinking exactly what he’s thinking. Also, he will understand a different side of yours and would want to know more. Flirting helps in many ways and there is not one reason why you shouldn’t resort to it. Say something with double meaning once in a while and smile slyly. This will surely surprise him. However, don’t look desperate.

Show Him What You Are

If you want a guy to notice the good in you, you have to show it to him. Even then, he might take some time to realize. Get your attitude in front of him and flaunt it. The more he likes something about you, the more he likes you. Make sure he doesn’t see your weak points that often, like, your temper or your vulnerability. If you are a good student, make sure he knows about it. If you are a good cook, tell him about that too. This would also be a great excuse to invite him over for dinner. This way, he’ll know a lot of stuff about you that is good. This might make you look like a great prospect, if you don’t already seem like one. Once in a while, also let him know about the things you like in him.

Dress to Attract

This isn’t the most important tip, but it surely cannot be ignored. Guys understand physical attraction better than anything. They are immediately attracted to girls who look good. Attracting guys can take time, of course. If you are looking for a long-term, committed relationship, concentrate more on looking pretty and beautiful than looking hot. Pretty, well-dressed girls always come across as sweet. Your appearance and the way you dress is your first communication with a person, before you even speak. If you’re dressed in an erotic manner or are careless about hygiene, the guy will be repulsed immediately. He might reject you even before he speaks to you. When you are around him, always try to be the simple, pretty and (not very irritatingly) innocent girl.

Once you use these tips that tell you how to act around a guy you like, you will be able to tell the things that are improving the situation, and ones which aren’t. Always remember to respect the guy you like and make him feel comfortable. Guys take a long time to express their emotions and the only way they can do this sooner, is if they find a comfort zone. Try to build this comfort zone for him. Be his emotional backup and his companion in good times! That’s all you need to do. When you are with him, be physically and mentally present. Soon, he’ll value your company and eventually, he’ll start valuing you as a person. Best of Luck!

So you finally told your crush you like him or uhm your friends or enemies did, now what are you going to do? It depends on whether you think he likes you, or not. The ultimate goal, of course, is to convince him that he does. Whilst sometimes that’s impossible, it’s often just a matter of getting him to notice you in the right way.

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

Relax and Smile

If at first you feel a little nervous (which is expected!) then try to relax. What he will notice about you is the things any guy will notice about you – your smile, how confident you seem and just in general how much you are enjoying your life. Be happy to be you and he will be happy to be around you. Even if he doesn’t come to fancy you, he can still come to enjoy your company.

If you find yourself getting nervous try thinking about it at home – how will you deal with his presence? Imagine him being there and you going about your day as normal. It may sound silly but sometimes we need a little practice in dealing with our crush.

Don’t Be Clingy

OK, so you might not run up to him and attach yourself to him. Especially if you don’t already know him very well. The point I’m making is that whilst it’s OK stealing glances at him ever so often, he might start getting uncomfortable if you are staring at him all the time when he’s around. Keep it cool. Don’t completely ignore him (that’s equally silly – you want him to notice you after all, how else will he fall for the fabulous you?), but also make sure he doesn’t get uncomfortable around you because you are giving him puppy eyes.

Remember men want to chase, not be chased. It’s sexy showing a little bit of interest and being flirtatious, being comfortable with flirting, but you also have to show you have a life. Show you aren’t intimidated by him knowing how you feel – you’re someone who shows interest to find out if there is interest. But you are too busy living your amazing life to care too much. If he’s interested, that’s great, but if he isn’t, you have more important things to do than waiting around. By showing you are happy, you don’t need his approval and that your life doesn’t stop in its tracks whenever he’s around, he will soon start trying to win you over if he has an interest.

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

If He Shows Interest, Take It Easy

When a guy you like shows interest in you, chances are you will get as excited as excited can be. Of course you will! Don’t throw yourself at him if he does though. Play it cool. After all, you are vetting him. Is he working hard enough to win you over? Having interest in someone means you have a certain level of attraction. It doesn’t mean you know if you would actually like to be dating them. He could prove to be a terrible friend, or have no clue of how to make you happy. Take your time to find out if he’s worth it.

Definitively don’t put the rest of your life on hold for him. Don’t answer every text you get immediately. Don’t reschedule you life to go on a date. Clearly show him you have a life you are happy with and if he gets to be part of it then he’s privileged.

Avoid Your Friends Giggling When He’s Around

If all your friends start giggling, pointing at him, or simply staring at him whenever he’s around, chances are he will be freaked out. Whilst some guys like that kind of attention, most don’t. Also, it puts him in a position where he knows how special he is to you. He shouldn’t be special until you find out how well he is going to treat you. Make your friends understand how important it is you that they behave nicely when he’s around.

Talk To Him

For anything to actually happen, you have to eventually talk to him. Take it easy. Start with passing comments and work your way to the point where you have a proper conversation. Show that you are cool around him. If he seems interested be flirtatious, but don’t overdo it. As mentioned earlier – let him work for it.

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

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How to avoid the boy who knows you like himBy Maria Montgomery Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

Hey Nikki,
I have this crush that is also my desk mate. He’s funny, cute, and nice to everyone. I’ve told my three BFFs and another good friend about it. Recently, my BFF told me that the good friend told my crush I like him.

Then today he asked me, “Who do you like from our class?”

I freaked out but acted cool and replied, “Nobody. Why?”

He said I was lying, which I was, and bugged me about it. Finally, I gave up and replied, “Yes, I like someone. FINE.” And he went silent. I didn’t know what to say.

Help me! What should I do to stop him from suspecting that I like him?

Hi Total Crushtastrophe,

I totally get why you freaked out. I mean, he kind of put you on the spot!

But I think maybe you’re looking at this the wrong way.

The fact that he asked means he’s curious if you really do like him. And that means he might actually like you back!

So why bother trying to throw him off the scent? (No, that doesn’t mean you smell! If you haven’t heard this expression before, it means confuse him so he doesn’t figure it out.)

Instead of being cool about it, I say be CUTE about it!

Next time you see him, say, “You were right. I DO like someone. I told you a secret. Now you have to tell ME one! It’s only fair! Do you like someone too??”

If he says no, then you probably want to end Operation Cute and say, “Do you have a pencil? Mine broke!”

But if he says yes, keep going! You could then say, “OK, now I guess it’s my turn! The person I like is super funny. Now you tell me something about the person you like!”

The cool thing about this is that you can keep the stuff you say kind of general, and you can stop at any time if you can tell he isn’t into you, or if you just don’t want to play this flirty game anymore.

The point is to keep it light and easy, and to try not to take it all so seriously. This is your buddy, your desk mate, your crush. Be playful and have fun with it. If you can’t do that with your crush, then what’s the point of having one, right?!

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

10 Types of Men to Avoid: Messed up Guys that Will Mess Up Your Life

To navigate the sometimes dangerous terrain of the dating world, you need a dose of medicine to prevent yourself from getting poisoned.

Here is a list of the 10 Types of Men to Avoid. These messed up guys will mess up your life! Investing time in becoming attached or interested in them will be deleterious to your emotional self or physical health.

Some are scummy, some are stupid, but all are poisonous to your well-being. Note: your mama was probably right!

Look instead for the type of man who will always stand by your side and help you when you’re down and out, not look to hurt you.

A sweet woman like yourself should turn and run if you see any men like this coming your way or already in your life. Trust us, it’s not you. It’s him.

Relationship Poll

10 Types of Men to Avoid

1. The Man Who Fathers Children Without Marriage. Unlike a divorced man, he somehow managed to like a woman or many women enough to get them pregnant, but not enough to marry them. This type of guy not only sends clear signals that he is not the marrying kind, but also not the kind of father who believes he should live with his children to rear them properly throughout life. If you get involved with this guy, your life will be an instant soap opera of nagging women, torn children, court dates, and child support. Don’t throw your life away.

2. Mister Drugs. He either sells them, abuses them, or creates them. The plethora of problems that comes with this kind of man is painful from the get-go. This type of individual will usually lack ethics, morality, or self-control. You can easily put yourself in danger by association. This man could also have behavioral issues when he is high or low that could put your life at risk. Mister Drugs might never be a man you can lean on to do the right thing. If he is in rehab or recovering, wish him luck, but similarly stay away. Once someone has been involved with illegal drug use their reliability will always be iffy.

3. The Man Who Never Has a Job. I don’t mean a man who has been laid off six months or even a year, I mean a guy who simply can’t hold a job more than a few weeks or is never able to snag one in the first place. He probably doesn’t even look for work at all. Any man you date should have a strong work ethic. A guy cannot hold his share of the load up if he has no way to pay for it all.

4. The Abusive Man. This guy is a hitter or makes an emotional wreck out of women. He has NO relationship promise and could endanger your life. He is quite possibly a sociopath or psychopath. Of all types of men to avoid, this is the biggest one.

5. The Guy That Stops Texting You. You like a guy and you start sending each other messages — then one day suddenly he stops replying to your texts. This guy is not the one for you and emotional investment in him will fall through.

6. The Guy Who Asks You to Pay His Rent. Any man who relies on a woman to pay for his rent, groceries, buy him clothes, etc., barring any unforeseen medical issues or accidents, is a user of women. A man that can’t support himself cannot support you in any way whatsoever.

7. The Cruel or Brutally “Honest” Man. Not too long after you start dating this guy, or perhaps after sleeping with him too soon, he becomes a total jerk. He tells you what he doesn’t like about you, insults you, and verbally throws you to the wolves. These men are also sometimes deemed sociopaths. These messed up guys have an over-inflated sense of ego and entitlement.

8. The Man who Keeps You Outside of His Circle. He won’t introduce you to anyone he knows and doesn’t allude to it ever happening. Men who are leading a double life often do this. He might only be interested in having sex with you, already be married, be secretly bisexual, or have another trick up his sleeve. Don’t stick around to find out.

9. The Sex-only Guy. From the first or second day you talk to him he alludes to sex. He only spends time with you if you can hook up or have sex. He also is reluctant to make any gestures of courtship at all. He seems hesitant to take you to dinner anywhere, though he might take you to the movies because he can grab at you in the dark. This man is entirely selfish, has no real interest in you, and having a sexual relationship with him will never lead to anything serious. He jumps from woman to woman, playing the same game over and over. He could also be deemed “The STD Guy.”

10. The Man Who Doesn’t Follow Through. He either doesn’t call you when he said he would, declines to meet you for an arranged date, stops e-mailing or texting you, or even leaves you stranded in the middle of a date. A man who doesn’t follow through is telling you he isn’t interested in you and that he also is incredibly rude and ungentlemanly.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.

Questions & Answers

Question: What is the best time to sleep with a guy for the first time?

Answer: When you’re married.

Question: I love a man who does not follow through. What should I do?

Answer: If by this you mean he doesn’t show up for dates, doesn’t keep important promises, etc., then you will want to look elsewhere for a good man. A man who doesn’t follow through is not prioritizing you in his life.

CAITLIN DUKE

One of your greatest fears has been realized: your crush found out that you like him. You might have been blindsided by his reaction, especially if you weren’t the one doing the telling, and now those warm, fuzzy feelings are underlined by the embarrassment of knowing that he knows. You can’t take it back or undo the damage, but you can overcome your self-consciousness if you taking a clear, calm assessment of the reality of the situation.

Explore this article

  • Release Your Fears
  • Work Through the Awkwardness
  • Focus On Your Feelings First
  • Be Yourself — No Matter What

1 Release Your Fears

You may have been terrified that your crush would discover how you feel, but now that it’s actually happened, you’re forced to admit that the world has continued spinning. When faced with feelings of anxiety, you should check your fears against the likely outcomes, clinical psychologist Melanie Greenberg writes in “The Six Best Ways to Decrease Your Anxiety” for Psychology Today. Remind yourself that your crush probably is not going to chase you around and taunt you the next time you see him.

2 Work Through the Awkwardness

You can’t expect your next interaction with your crush not to be awkward, but that is all the more reason to get it over with. Awkward interactions are an inescapable part of the human experience, and the only way to get past this phase with your crush is to go directly through it. Take it slow as you work up to the level of interaction you’re used to, whether that’s a smile as you pass in the hall or weekly movie nights.

3 Focus On Your Feelings First

Trying to guess exactly what others think of you is a huge waste of time, says Therese Borchard, Psych Central associate editor, in the PBS article “10 Real Ways to Overcome Embarrassment.” You could feel embarrassed because you’re worried about what you think your crush might think about you. This is an impossible task. Give up trying to read his mind and focus on enjoying the time you spend with your crush instead.

4 Be Yourself — No Matter What

You’ve been hearing that you should “be yourself” since before you could walk, and it applies here too. Of course, it is much easier said than done, but making what could be a good impression and avoiding embarrassment is far less important than being happy with your own actions. Having and divulging romantic feelings for another person should not be considered cause for shame or embarrassment. If your crush feels differently, it may be time to rethink your emotional investment in him.

If you have met a guy you like, you will need to avoid being obvious about it. Here are 25 ways to let him know that you like him in a subtle way.

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

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How do I show a guy I like him?

So you’ve met a very hot guy. You feel that he is the kind guy that you’ve been searching for. You can also feel that he is already interested in you. You already have your eyes set on this guy and want him to know that you like him. The challenge is on how to do it. A wrong move will make you look desperate. So, where do you start? What should you do to make him know that you like him without looking super obvious? Before you make your move, it’s important to realize that guys love challenges. The moment they sense that things are coming too easily, they will lose interest. In other words, if you show him openly that you like him, he might lose any interest he ever had in you. Guys enjoy chasing after girls as this is what makes the whole thing worthwhile. If you want to win over a guy that you like, you will need to show interest in a subtle way. Here are 20 subtle ways that will make him know that you like him without being so obvious.

1. Flirt to let the guy know you like him

It may not be enough to sit pretty and expect the guy to show interest in you just because you look like a princess. To show him that you are interested, why don’t you try flirting with him? Complimenting a guy will help to boost his ego. The moment you make a guy feel special, he will start noticing you. If you tell him that he looks like a certain handsome celebrity, that’s a great start to helping him figure out that you like him. You need to be careful not to show much interest in the dude. Instead, you can casually comment on things like his new hairstyle or his awesome 6-pack. You need to let him know that you would like to spend more time with him without being very obvious.

How to avoid the boy who knows you like him

In matters of love, uncertainty abounds, especially for men. Will she say yes if I ask her out? Will she let me kiss her after a first date? I know it can be tough for guys. No one likes to be rejected.

While I applaud guys for their courage in asking, I know that if I’m not interested, I have to be able to convey that. But it’s easier said than done for most of us, and I’m ashamed to say that I have been on a date or two simply because I didn’t know how to tell the guy no.

Wanting to avoid hurt feelings or embarrassing the other person is a deeply ingrained social norm. Saying no to someone can be so uncomfortable for some that it’s just plain easier to say yes. Research done on this topic indicates that rejecting people with whom we think we’re incompatible is hard. But failure to tell a man no doesn’t always come down to pure altruism. When I really took a good look at myself, I could see that the only person I was looking out for in this situation was me.

Sure, I would rationalize my reluctant yes with all kinds of do-gooder thoughts for the other. Well, what was I supposed to say, no?! I would justify to myself. If I rejected him I would break his precious heart, he may lose all his self-esteem, and then he would never be able to ask another woman out . . . yes, yes, better to go on a second date, and then let things fizzle out.

What I needed to hear then was a stern yet loving, “Get over yourself.” And actually, my sister told me just that.

The truth is, I could have the body of Venus and the heart of Mother Teresa (and I don’t), and most men would still move on just fine if I told them I was not interested. A man who is mentally healthy can take rejection. It might sting a little, but he will recognize that you are not the only woman worth having. A man who is truly looking for someone to share his life with will realize quickly that a woman who is interested in him in return is far more attractive than a woman who is not.

And finally, remember that he was just asking you on a date. We are not talking marriage proposals or vows of loving fidelity. This guy just wants to grab dinner or a drink with you because he likes you and wants to get to know you better. You are not breaking his heart.

Even though going along with an undesirable situation can seem like the kindest and most comfortable thing to do in the moment, we always regret it in the end. If you’re just not into him, eventually you’ll have to end things, and it’s often messier after a few dates. And as far as being kind, well, think about how hurt you would feel to learn that the date you spent time planning and looking forward to was actually a pity date. In the long term, the truth is always kinder.

So, how do you say no when a man moves in for a kiss or wants to take you on a date when you would rather not? Here are some tips from a former “yes girl.”

Get used to the word no.

For starters, get comfortable with a kind, clear, and resounding no. It doesn’t have to be a rude letdown, but your refusal should always include the word no for absolute clarity. And, if your gentler rejection does not come through, you must quickly be prepared for a no-mistaking-it (which may sound rude) N.O.

Try out your gentle no nestled amongst some polite words. For instance, if a guy asks you, “Will you come to drinks with me tomorrow night?” you can respond with something like, “Thanks for the invitation, but no thank you. I really appreciate the offer though.” If you get pushback, whip out the plain old no, and let that be that.

Prepare for a request.

My favorite tactic to prepare for an uncomfortable moment used to be to convince myself that it wasn’t going to come. Nope, he wont make a move on me at the end of the date. No need to think about the second date because who knows if he even wants to see me again, right? Wrong.

If you have a hard time turning men down, prepare for the worst-case scenario. What will you say if he asks you out again? How will you say it? After you have your hypothetical answer worked up in your head, start building up the courage to break it to him kindly by using your clear no.

Learn to be affirming.

A big part of my fear of saying no is a fear of making a man feel dejected. And, even though he will likely bounce back, there is no denying that being turned down is difficult. So, to help me feel more comfortable rejecting men, I like to make a point to offer some sincere affirmation along with it.

“No, I’m not interested in going out again. But I do want to tell you how flattering it was that you invited me on a date.” Or “It is really refreshing to meet a guy who is not afraid to ask a girl out on a casual date.” All this is true; it doesn’t change my no, but it helps turn rejection into more of a high five.

Don’t say ‘I’m sorry.’

It’s tempting to apologize for saying no, but this is actually not a helpful thing to say. First of all, you have nothing to apologize for. Saying no does not mean that you are a bad person. And you do not owe this guy a date, a kiss, or anything else he might ask for.

Secondly, “I’m so sorry” implies pity and calls out the rejection, which can add to a guy’s embarrassment. Nine times out of ten, a guy would be happier if you made it seem like it was no big deal than if you were to act like you’re embarrassed for him.

Beware of manipulation.

By now most of us know that there are certain tricks some men have for getting us into a tight spot. The “Oh, just have one more drink” line can leave you compromised and less equipped to stand up for yourself if no is a word that you are uncomfortable using. “Let’s have dinner at my place” too early on in the relationship means that you will be at his place alone, and this will make saying no and a necessary exit that much more uncomfortable. There is also the “I will pick you up at your place” situation. While not always a trick, it can sometimes leave us open to manipulation and susceptible for caving under pressure. Say you don’t want to go out to another bar, follow dinner with dessert, or go back to his place. Being beholden to him for transportation can make you feel like it would be more polite to just go along with his plans.

As a general rule, it’s a good idea to meet up rather than the old-fashioned meet-at-the-door method. Obviously, most guys are not trying to be manipulative, but it’s important to be able to spot situations that may cause you to have a harder time saying no.