How to attract a christian girl

Does everybody seem to be hanging around in two’s? does it seem like the whole world has already paired up and you are the only one left standing? I bet it seems like the whole world is in couples! Welcome to singledom!

So this is your situation. Everyone seems to have a partner but you. You’d like to have one. I mean, you’ve been waiting patiently on God. You’ve been faithful and trust him and his promises. Surely there’s someone out there for you, but they’re not just going to fall from the sky into your lap are they. Be great if they did, but I’m sure there’s some health and safety issues with that concept.

So the question, how do you attract that lovely Christian girl? What you would like from this post is for me to pull out some magic formula from scripture. Just hidden away there, in one of the minor prophets. That nugget of golden information which will turn you into that Godly, Christian stud of a man. Alas, no such joy, though if you stumble upon any in the Bible do let me know.

At this point, the mature, wiser Christian will pipe up with something like “well God is all you need.” And possibly insinuate that you are not walking closely with the Lord because you feel the need for companionship. I will point out, that these Christians are normally married with children and cannot remember that feeling, but believe me, once upon a time they did! And of course they are not wrong but neither are they helpful in their take on the situation.

God himself recognised that man would be better with a close companion, someone to share the joys and glory of basking in the presence of God and his creation. Feeling lonely or wanting to find that special someone does not make you any less of a Christian. You are, the way God created you, with the same human needs as everyone else. Don’t beat yourself up or think that its wrong to feel like that, its fine – but lets make sure we support those feelings with Gods word, it makes all the difference.

Some quick points to aid you in attracting the Christian girl:

Be happy with who you are
A lot of people go around with the notion that you cant be truly happy unless you find a partner. Well that’s not entirely true. To be able to enjoy being with somebody else you have to be comfortable with yourself. You have to recognise that God fearfully and wonderfully made you. He sent his son to die on the cross for you – he obviously thinks your worth it. He has given you gifts and talents. Recognise you have your own special, individual personality created just for you by God. Being comfortable and confident in who God has made and is making is important.

Recognise that singleness is not a disease… in fact it can be great
I could spend all day talking about this, maybe I’ll write post dedicated to the plus’ of being single. For now, I’ll direct your attention to 1 Corinthians 7. I’d recommend reading the whole chapter to fully grasp whats being said, but its basically talking about those who are married and those who aren’t and what one is better. Verse 17 says:

“Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.”

If you take in the rest of the chapter, what is really being said here is: wherever you are, be there for the glory of God.

Paul is saying, singles – get up and walk. You are not crippled because you are single. You are not lacking if you are single, you are not being overlooked if you are single.

Life doesn’t begin when you find that certain someone. Marriage and singleness are gifts from God. Recognise your state is a gift and enjoy the moment you are in and make the most of it for the glory of God.

Be in love with Jesus
There is nothing more attractive than being passionate about what you believe.

And as a Christian, what do you believe? Do you believe that Christ died for you? Do you believe Gods word is infallible and for every part of your life? As a single person, you have more time to yourself. Forget the Xbox, forget surfing the net hour after hour. Grab your bible, pick it apart, study it diligently. Pray, for anyone and everyone. Grow closer to Father God, fall in love with Christ again!

Serve
Later on in 1 Corinthians it talks about the body of Christ and how it should work (verse 14 onwards). Which is basically saying how we should get involved and serve the local church. You are single, you have no split commitments. Your focus, your energies can be channelled into the church you belong to. You have one over someone who is married. You can throw yourself 100% into church life and church work without having one eye on other responsibilities. So serve! With all your heart. You can do great things if you have a spirit of servitude.

Are you noticing a pattern? None of the advice actually relates directly to you and that special someone. If you are looking for a good Godly woman (which I really hope you are), then the biggest characteristic that they should be looking for is a good Godly man. Which doesn’t mean, wearing the latest trends, having the biggest muscles or being the life and soul of the party. It means they should be looking for someone who puts God first in everything. Who base their life, their decisions, their outlook and attitude, on what pleases Father God.

I realise that there is a lot more to finding a partner, like physical attraction and different personalities, but I believe if you focus on the points covered you will already be attractive, not just to a girl romantically but to the world in your lifestyle and attitude.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Seducing religious women is a very interesting topic and my answer is even more so. So jump in, have a look, and comment below, as always, please:

Peace and piece,

P.S. This video is one of the 120+ laser-focused girl-getting modules you find when you claim your instant access to the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection today.

Ross Jeffries™ is the founder, creator and Master Teacher of the worldwide seduction community. Featured as the mentor to Neil Strauss in the best-selling book, “The Game”, RJ has taught, coached, and mentored thousands of men around the world, since 1991, guiding them to the success with women they truly desire and deserve.

Speed Seduction® shows you how to succeed with the women you really want, predictably and reliably, without guesswork or games – respecting yourself and the women you enjoy.

Forget the copycats and learn from the original – RJ!

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Ross Jeffries Uncensored: How To Seduce Religious Women…

Ross Jeffries shows you how to utilize her religious language to seduce her. Religious ecstasy is very similar to sexual ecstasy. Elicit some trance words from her by having her talk about her beliefs, and have her describe her emotional state caused…

[…] the original post: How To Seduce Religious Women No […]

even if you might not appreciate it, God bless you.
This example helped me, to understand more of what you are saying. Since I am a Christian myself I´m not so much interested in getting as many women as possible in to bed, but, to be able to understand how they/their minds work. So that, if I ever find that one in a million, I am able to keep her.

hello my OPEN MINDED FRIEND, please upload this weeks video onto youtube./speedseduction/channel as i can only view them there for some uneartly crazy ass reason. i really need my weekly seduction fix for the week. Amen.

God gave me a new direction.

So, if I’m getting this right. The head wind we think is resistance, is actually what is going to give us lift and get us off and going. If we have the skill and know how.

Been meaning to ask this for a while.
I know that you say that Speed Seduction is morally neutral but I still would like you to address this in more detail.

Where do you morally stand when it comes to seducing religious girls? And why?

The bigger picture view of course would be, what is morality to you? in what type of situation would you say “this is wrong” and not use SS?

Great! RJ, you’re funny 🙂 Favorite quote (after a “don’t do this” speech): “If you know how to meet women you shouldn’t have to rely on that… But, give it a shot.”

Seriously though, the example patterning is as strong as it is amusing 🙂

my wife is really religious , so u think she can be seduced ? would love to fuck her used & an abused little pussy hole

I’ve got to be honest I was raised catholic though I’m a non beliver religious girls with some exception are the most promiscuous I have ever met.I’ts strange the stories they have told me having sex in a public place is a taboo even in my book.

my uncle loves cats and aviation models and also had lot of grils so I enjoy to observe this attraction flow of my life… 😀

I’ve been waiting for the day you’d come up with this!

I wondered… if it was worth all the effort to overcome THEIR barriers

but I can say it is not wrong at all! It is not an evil manipulation, instead, it helps them to observe where their beliefs came from and enables them to see how it is ralated to their behavior so that they can overcome it. you just help them to perceive on a deeper level! just the fact that you invest your energy into giving them such an unique experience in their lifes should be considered as a generous gift from god to them, blah blah blah…. 😀

I think that Oleg asked a really good question and I’m interested in hearing your answer to his question, Ross.

I received this as a part of a larger text from a Muslim woman who is a chat friend from the internet. Do let me know what u think of this, but please ensure that nobody abuses her faith. If you see that coming I request you to not post this at all. I’m only posting this because I think this will help the other brothers and is an opportunity for all of us to learn from your experince and wisdom.

Ofcourse! U know me v well! I wish u find a girl far far better than me and that too v v soon. Yes! About me! I kept on thinking and pondering over the fact that y m I still bloody single , that ppl cum n actually ask me yyyy? Lol! U see I have a difeerent set of mind, with a different ideology. I seek a man , not of looks, not of power, not of wealth niether of deeds but I seek a man who excells in his love for our beloved creator cuz I just dunno but whoever he is I can assure u if one really really loves Allah and believes in Him, he not only is a good Muslim but also is an excellent human being. I dunno y but m always fascinated by men goig for their prayers unlike my other girlfriends . I know it sounds like promoting some kind of extremism but thats just not true. Muslims are the most peace loving creatures on Earth , just that some ppl have exploited Islam in a very harmful way and have depicted the same image all over the world. I can wait all my life for such a guy who is made out of pure love and respects me for who I m. He is pious and has not played with women as I haven’t had with any guy. Lets see what the future holds .

I ‘googled’ this topic because I find myself single again at a mature age. I have met a few fellows from senior dating sites and I have decided they are all getting the same advice – perhaps from you. They tell me that the rules are different for people our age and refer to 1Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” Obviously they have never actually read that passage in the bible. So thank for counseling men not to take advantage of a Christian girl’s vulnerability.

I’m a hardcore 72 y/o Atheist who has absolutely no qualms about seducing Christian religionist women. I also know a lot about comparative Theology. I’ll use whatever works as long as I’m not misrepresenting myself or using exploitative measures. Seduction is persuasion, not deception.

June 13, 2012

As a pastor, over the years I had my fair share of people approach me to find out if we were a “courtship” church or a “dating” church. The people invariably would tell me that their approach was “the biblical way.” I eventually become leery of such claims given that the Bible does not say much about how to find a wife, or does it? Perhaps you’ve seen this list floating around the world-wide-web, but it’s worth reviewing because it makes a very important point. So here it is, 16 ways to find a wife according to the Bible:

1) Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deut. 21:11-13)

2) “Lay hold on” a virgin who is not betrothed to another man, and “know” her, but afterwards pay her father a sum of money. Then she’s yours. (Deut. 22:28-29)

3) Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)

4) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.–Moses (Ex. 2:16-21)

5) Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.–Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

6) Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.–Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

7) Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.–Adam (Gen. 2:19-24)

8) Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife.–Jacob (Gen. 29:15-30)

9) Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife.–David (1 Sam. 18:27)

10) Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone.–Cain (Gen. 4:16-17)

11) Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.–Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

12) When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.”–Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

13) Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though.)–David (2 Sam. 11)

14) Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law!)–Onan and Boaz (Deut. or Lev., example in Ruth)

15) Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.–Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

16) A wife?–Paul (1st Corinthians, chapter 7)

Obviously, this list was written with humor in mind, and some of these “ways,” are not prescriptive but descriptive of the sinful ways that God’s people have conducted themselves in the past–they are in no way exemplary. But this does demonstrate an important point–people often want the Bible to say certain things, such as how to find a spouse and marry, but they ignore portions of Scripture that don’t fit their paradigm. The Bible has more to say about arranged marriages, for example, than it does “courtship” or dating. So then, how do we proceed?

We have to realize that the Bible does not speak to every issue we will face in life. Just ask Solomon, who had to use wisdom when the two prostitutes came to him claiming to both be the mother of one child. We must follow those things that God has given us. In all of our relationships we have the obligation to exercise the fruit of the Spirit and not mistreat anyone, that is especially true for a prospective spouse. We also have the clear biblical command that a Christian is free to marry whomever he or she chooses, so long as the prospective mate is “in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7.39). But in the end, choosing a spouse calls for wisdom.

The Bible does not give us a specific means by which we can find spouses. Some might be introduced by family or friends. Some might cultivate a letter-writing relationship (or as we might more commonly find it, e-mail, or some form of social media). In some cultures the thought of dating or courting is out of the question. I once walked in on one of my office mates in grad school–he was a Christian training for the ministry in Japan. He was intently reading a file; it looked like a personnel file. Out of curiousity I asked him what he was reading. He told me it was a file on a young woman that his father had sent him. His family, sight unseen (except for a few photos in the file) was arranging his marriage. I was stunned, but nevetheless made aware that godly Christians don’t all do things the same way. I.e., just because it’s American and Christians do it doesn’t mean its biblical or the only way.

The greater doctrinal point here is that in the pursuit of finding a spouse, we must be mindful two things: (1) that we are mindful of God’s revealed will in the moral law–we should not violate it in word, thought, or deed; and (2) Christian liberty–where God has spoken, we are bound, but where he has not spoken we are free. We are not bound by the commandments of men. This means that godly Christians may differ in how they live their lives, but it doesn’t mean that one is holier than another because she dates and doesn’t court.

We should also note that in its collective history, the church has never addressed the issue in its creeds or confessions about how to find a spouse. Perhaps this should tell us that it is a matter of Christian liberty and that in the end, we should rely on God’s grace, wisdom, prayer, and godly counsel rather than make claims that the Bible has never made.

How to attract a christian girl

7 Things You Should Do If You Want To Attract Godly Relationships

It is so often easy to get caught up in the world’s way of doing things, especially when it comes to love relationships but a Christian single man who has the right intentions will not be attracted by worldly tactics.

Often people respond to this by saying that God isn’t interested in our love relationships and this is too small to bother God with but it most definitely is not too small for God.

The world attracts men using physical attraction and the result will almost certainly be a physical relationship.

How you present yourself will greatly determine the type of guy you will attract into relationships and if you are looking for a faithful and Christian relationship, it is important to make sure you are not using worldly tactics to attract a Godly man.

Here are 7 things you should do if you want to attract Godly relationships…

1. Present yourself well

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. – Proverbs 31:30

When relationships are built on superficial things such as your looks, your beautiful face, or your curves, what keeps him there once those things begin to fade away?

Nothing. But when he is attracted to the Godliness in you, you have a solid foundation to build a Godly relationship.

First impressions really do count and how you present yourself will speak volumes about your personality and the type of lady you are.

Modesty is key. Don’t go overboard trying to get a man to notice you. Because if he’s meant to be your Godly man, he will notice with little or no effort on your part.

2. Be confident and secure

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. – Proverbs 31:10

Confidence in a woman who knows what she is worth and that she is valuable will automatically make her more attractive.

Show inwardly and outwardly that you won’t just settle for anything or anyone.

Learn to love yourself for who you are and how you look, how you carry yourself and that will shine through in your personality.

This doesn’t mean you need to be full of yourself – just more sure of yourself.

3. Be Friendly and positive

It’s better to be friendly and to have a smile ready at all times.

No one wants to approach someone who looks miserable.

That will scare any guy away because you are not showing that you are open to smiling, never mind a conversation.

If you cultivate a reputation for being a caring and kind person that is easy to talk to, you will be able to strike up friendships and relationships easily.

How to attract a christian girl

4. Be respectful to everyone

If you are respectful and honor all those around you, it will reveal much about your character and personality and if this is who you really are you will be able to attract and keep this type of man in your life.

A Christian man looking for a potential partner will want to learn to see what the lady he is interested in is like, what her reputation is and how she treats others before engaging in a relationship with her.

If the lady in question is rude and has no respect for others, he may think that she will treat him in the same way.

More importantly, being rude and disrespectful to others may send a message to him that you are not the loving, Godly woman he is looking for.

5. Love God

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. – Matthew 22:37

Something that will attract a true man of God, is your true relationship with God.

A Christian man will admire a lady who loves God, is spirit-filled and isn’t afraid to get lost in worship and be free in the presence of God.

You don’t need to feel as though you may be making a fool of yourself when you outwardly express the love you have for your King, but can be assured that by expressing this feeling outwardly, you are first of all, doing something that is natural and loved by God, and any Christian man who is made aware of your complete love of God will see the beauty of your relationship with God as well.

6. Serve willingly

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. – Hebrews 13:16

While you may not feel your little job is important by being a member of the worship team or making tea or coffee after the service, it is.

Only people who are willing to take responsibility for others and who truly love the church volunteer for these jobs.

In large congregations, you may never meet all the people in your church but by serving, you are creating an opportunity to meet more members of the congregation and allowing them the opportunity to meet you as well.

The way in which you serve will also be of merit – if you grumble about how much mess there is to clean up etc. people will wonder why you are even bothering but if you serve out of love and wanting to help build God’s kingdom, you will show yourself to be genuine and will find it easier to build relationships with those around you who are serving in His kingdom for the same purpose.

All the good things can easily be added to you by God when you put yourself in a position for Him to lead you to a Godly relationship.

7. Be who you want people to believe you are

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.” – Matthew 6:1

A man of God will be able to recognize a true woman of God.

If you’re practicing good deeds and faking the faith only when people are watching, at some point you’re going to slip up and expose the real you.

A real man of God will be watching you to see if you are the Godly woman you claim to be.

So be the Godly person you want to attract.

Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly about you, no one would believe them!

Remember in all this, put God first, put yourself second and your potential partner will come along at the right time and in the right place and you will find yourself connecting with a true man of God who is attracted to you for you and not for how you dress and what he may get out of it.

Click HERE to watch the video.

I was one of those high school girls who was all about guys. A day didn’t go by where I wasn’t thinking about one of my crushes. I spent a lot of time flirting with guys, but even more than that I spent countless hours dreaming about them.

I clearly remember wondering what certain guys were thinking. Getting inside of a guy’s mind intrigued me and I wanted to know how they thought about girls. Have you ever wanted to know that?

Well, several years later my wishes became reality. I got married! Ever since then I’ve had a front row seat into the mind of a guy. Let’s just say it’s been an eye opening experience for me.

I used to think that being loud and flirtatious would attract the heart of a godly guy – wrong. It will definitely attract some guys…but they’re not going to be the godly, mature type.

I used to think that dressing edgy and seductive would catch the attention of a godly guy – wrong again. Showing off skin will definitely attract the guys…just not the godly ones.

I used to think that becoming independent and self-sufficient would attract the heart of a godly guy – triple wrong. Godly guys are attracted to girls who are family oriented and desire to be team players.

Chances are, you’re probably a little clueless too. In fact, most single Christian girls seem to be in the dark about how godly guys think.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have acted a lot differently in high school. Instead of leaving you in the dark like I was, we want to give you the inside scoop.

Becoming wise about guys isn’t going to happen all at once though. So, we decided to dedicate an entire week to the topic!

We will be releasing a brand new blog post every single day this week on the topic of guys, plus we’ll be giving away a few amazing books to help you become #GuyWise.

This is your chance to get the inside scoop on how godly guys think. We’re going to cover exciting topics such as how to handle your crushes, modesty from a guy’s perspective, is flirting okay, and how to encourage the guys in your life to become godly men.

The video at the top of this page is a brand new project we completed in honor of this special #GuyWise week. We interviewed five different godly guys ages 18-26 and asked them this simple question: How would you describe a godly girl?

Our goal with this video is to open your eyes to how a godly guy thinks and what he values in a Christian girl.

Click here to watch it.

To keep up with the #GuyWise week action, stay plugged in to our GirlDefined Facebook every day this week. We’ll be posting great content over there that you don’t want to miss. To enter your name in our book giveaway, all you have to do is share any of our posts on Facebook.

Our prayer for you this week is that you would grow in wisdom and godliness in the way you interact with the guys in your life. That you would desire to be blessing and not a hindrance to your brothers in Christ. That you would strive to challenge and encourage the guys in your life to become godly men in this generation.

Will you join us in becoming #GuyWise? We hope so!

Let us know your thoughts about the video in the comment section below.

Want to know how to attract any girl? It starts by getting the girl interested in you and curious about you. With that foundation you can gradually build a lasting attraction with any woman. As for how to spark that interest and curiosity; here are some tips that will help you do just that.

How to attract a christian girlProject confidence
Confidence is the one irresistible trait you must have if you want to attract women. And women can tell right away whether or not you’re confident just by looking at your body language. For example, if you’re fidgeting or making yourself “small” in your environment, women will see you as lacking confidence.

So the first step in how to attract any girl is to adopt confident body language. Keep your body movements calm and controlled. Make yourself big. Don’t be afraid to take up room and claim the space immediately around you. If that’s difficult due to feeling nervous or uncomfortable, take slow, deep breaths while focusing on the sensations in your body (can you feel your feet?). This will help you relax and allow that confident body language to come out naturally.

Get her laughing
Every girl wants a guy who can make her laugh. And there’s no better time to prove you have that ability than at the beginning of the conversation. Get a girl to smile early on and it’ll help her relax and feel comfortable talking to you. All while sparking that interest and attraction.

One technique you can use to start a conversation and get a girl laughing is playful teasing. This is particularly effective because most guys are too insecure to playfully tease a girl right off the bat. By starting your conversations this way you show you’re not intimidated by attractive women. You can get her laughing and show tremendous confidence at the same time.

Here are just two examples of how to start a conversation with playful teasing: (1) “You know you’d look cute in a purple Mohawk” (2) “Excuse me, I’m trying to have a guy’s night out and you totally ruined it. You’re too damn cute”. Lines like these can get a conversation started on a fun, playful note.

Make her win you over
Projecting confidence and making a girl laugh are common tips for how to attract any girl. But there’s another tip that’s equally important that doesn’t get nearly as much discussion. It’s called qualification.

Qualification is all about getting the woman to prove that she’s a cool, interesting girl. It shows you’re a guy with standards who doesn’t invest his time and attention in just any attractive girl. When you actively filter women like this they see you as a high-value guy. They will then put more effort into keeping your interest and attention.

After bantering with a girl you can start qualifying by asking questions like “So what’s your deal?” or “What are three things I wouldn’t know about you by looking?” These questions are great because they’re open-ended and allow the girl to share as much information as she feels comfortable. They also give you a great chance to get to know her. You can then find out if she truly is a cool, interesting girl.

Create an emotional connection
In order to know how to attract any girl it’s important to know how to connect with any girl. That is, how to build an emotional connection so she feels close to you, and you feel close to her.

One way to build that emotional connection with a girl is to use the “I” perspective when speaking. Express your thoughts, opinions – and most importantly your emotions – directly. For example, saying “I love Game of Thrones” gives her a glimpse into your emotional world. But if you said “Game of Thrones is a great show” then that emotional component is taken out of the picture completely. Talking about your personal experiences, rather than objective facts, is going to get her feeling more deeply connected to you.

Build sexual tension
No article on how to attract any girl would be complete without a tip on how to build sexual tension. After all this is what keeps guys out of the friend-zone.

One of the most effective ways to build sexual tension with women is through touch. Start touching the girl early on in your conversation by lightly tapping the back of your hand against her elbow. If she’s okay with that contact, you can gradually move on to touch her for longer periods of time in more intimate areas (shoulder, back, thigh, face).

The key to knowing when you should touch more – or less – is to check for compliance. If she allows you to touch her, or starts touching you in response, then you can take things a step further with your touch. If however she recoils or moves away when you touch her, then give her space. Build more comfort through banter and creating an emotional connection. When she’s a bit more comfortable, try to build that sexual tension once again.

Be unattached to the outcome
One thing that is will help you tremendously when learning how to attract any woman is being unattached to the outcome. That is, don’t get hung up on whether or not you get a phone number, a date, or even get the girl to like you. Just enjoy the process of meeting women and focus on having fun. If you’re not looking to get anything from your interactions with women then you’ll have no trouble being confident, fun, open, and sexual with women.

The best way to make this your natural way of being is to get lots of experience talking and flirting with women. Make a point to talk to at least three women a day and practice the techniques mentioned in this article and elsewhere on the site. The more experience you get the less you’ll care about each individual interaction.

To learn more about how to flirt without being sleazy, get more dates, develop confident body language, and overcome your approach anxiety in just 5 days, check out The Art of Charm Bootcamp.

Immerse yourself in the world’s most advanced social skills training program. Learn why corporations, military special forces, executives, entrepreneurs, Silicon Valley engineers, and VCs trust our decade-plus of experience to increase their emotional intelligence.

Our Los Angeles program is full of scientifically proven drills and strategies to enhance your ability to command respect, communicate effectively, and build your charisma.

Go to theartofcharm.com/bootcamp to learn more and apply today. Finally get the skills to level up your career, relationships, and confidence in just 5 days.

Brian M – author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he’s made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use. View all posts by Brian M →

Originally posted October 24th, 2014.

My brother is in his final year as a college student at Texas A&M. I am writing this post for him and myriads of other young men like him—young, single men that I have conversations with almost daily about life and relationships. I know that God does not call every man to marriage, but for the many that he does, it is a good thing that they find a godly wife. Outside of salvation in Jesus Christ, a godly wife brings more joy and happiness to a man than anything else on earth. As the Scripture says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:10–12). What man does not want to find that? A woman that he can trust with every ounce of his being. An honest woman of upright integrity that desires her husband’s success. But where does a man begin if he wants to find a woman like that? Where does he start to begin the search for a woman of such value? By no means is this list exhaustive, nor or these necessarily in order of importance, although the first one is.

1) Pursue the Lord with all of your heart

This might seem contrary to the objective, but it is actually primary in reaching it. Before a man finds a godly woman, he first finds the living God. He begins to long to glorify Jesus Christ with his life and sees Christ as infinitely valuable and worth all of his time and energy (1 Corinthians 10:31). A godly woman will not settle for anything less! She wants a man that could be a spiritual leader for her, a man that she can respect (1 Peter 3:1). So be a man after God’s own heart and don’t look back!

2) Know your value in Christ

Your value is found in the fact that you are created in God’s image and that if you are a believer in Christ, God loves you as much as his beloved Son (John 17:23). If you are seeking your validity or worth in a woman, you will not find a godly woman, because you will be looking for qualities that the world esteems rather than the qualities that God esteems. Rather, you must find your value in God’s love for you displayed at the cross.

3) Pray every day for a godly wife

If you are not praying for a godly woman, do not expect God to bring you one. Seek the Lord in prayer and ask him to bring you a godly woman. It is OK to do that. Remember, you are asking the Lord for “a good thing.” Not a bad thing. And as Jesus reminds us, “How much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him” (Matthew 7:11)! Also, pray for wisdom and discernment. God is more than willing to give that to you as well if you will ask him for it (James 1:5–8). Also, start praying for your future wife. Pray for her protection and her own growth in godliness.

4) Search the Scriptures

Read the Scriptures daily and God will give you wisdom, and the Holy Spirit will use the Word to transform and renew your mind to be more like Christ’s (Romans 12:1–2). You will read passages like Proverbs 31 and Titus 2, and you will see and learn about what God considers to be a godly woman. A vision for what type of woman God is leading you to will begin to form in your mind as you listen to the Word of God. Most importantly, your own heart and character will begin to become more like Christ’s.

5) Join a church

Do not just attend a church. Join a church. And by joining a church, I mean a church where the Word is taught as the inerrant and infallible Word of God, where the Word is taught and preached, where the Gospel of Jesus Christ is cherished, and where people are on mission to bring the Gospel to the world. Not only will your relationships with other believers be edifying and challenging, you will now be surrounded by other godly men and women who will pour themselves into your life. Also, this should be obvious, but church is where the godly women are! If you want to see a football game, you go to the football stadium. If you want to find a godly girl, go to a church.

6) Embrace God’s call on your life

A godly woman wants a vision that is bigger than her. She wants to join a man on mission that is doing something with his life. She wants to be a part of something special. It is your job to figure out what this is. What are you to do with your life? Where are you to go? How are you going to invest in building the kingdom of God?

7) Work hard

A godly woman does not want to marry a lazy man. She wants to marry a hard worker whom she can respect. She’s looking for a Proverbs 22:29 man: “Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.” This means that it is time to put away childish things—like playing Call of Duty for hours every night—and for you to become good at something! Take ownership and pride in your work and work hard. Strive to become the best at what you do.

8) Do NOT assume that every relationship you have with a woman is romantic

You must first learn to treat all Christian women as “sisters in Christ.” It is selfish and myopic to think that just because a woman was kind and had a conversation with you that she is interested in you romantically. Instead, develop appropriate friendships with Christian women in the context of service in the church. A godly woman wants to first see your godly character on display before she wants to trust you emotionally and romantically in a serious relationship.

9) Stop asking out the pretty face

Young men will often meet a pretty girl and immediately begin to think about asking her out—without first knowing anything about her character or whether or not she is a follower of Christ. Before you ask a girl out you should know something of her character and her godliness. Find out what church she is a “member” of and how she is serving. Please, stop asking out the girls that just add “Jesus” to a long list of other interests, because there are godly women out there who value Christ above everything else. See number 5. You will most likely meet a godly girl at church or serving at another Christian organization or institution.

10) Seek older, godly men as mentors

Older men who know the Lord are probably wiser than you are. They have seen more, experienced more, and most importantly have walked with God longer than you have. They will be able to invest in your life and impart wisdom to you in ways that your peers cannot. Also, more often than not, older, godly men are married to older, godly women, who know and are mentoring young, godly women. See where I am going with this? Long story short, pursue relationships with older, wiser men. Where do you meet these men? Got back to step number 5, and join a church!

You, too, can help support the ministry of CBMW. We are a non-profit organization that is fully-funded by individual gifts and ministry partnerships. Your contribution will go directly toward the production of more gospel-centered, church-equipping resources.

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