When you have a burning desire to be with someone you find attractive, and who you consider to be special, you have a crush. Having a crush on someone can be exciting and exhilarating, and terrifying and confusing all at the same time. Asking your crush out on a date requires confidence, positive self-belief and courage. But it can also be easy to do…
Figure It Out
Before you start to make plans, and work out how to ask your crush out on a date, it is wise to figure out how serious your crush is. Crushes can make you feel excited, giddy, shy, nervous and overcome with emotion. It is important to remember that they are also passing fancies and infatuations. It is therefore essential that you check out how strong your feelings are before sharing them with someone you think is hot.
What’s Your Crush?
There are different types of crushes and it is worth identifying yours before you make plans about how to ask your crush out.
• The Friendly Crush
Not all of the strong feelings you may feel for someone are necessarily romantic or lustful. Being drawn to someone because you like this person for no special reason is perfectly acceptable, and can turn a close connection into a best friends situation. Having a friendly crush simply means that you want to hang out with your BFF whenever possible.
• The Admiration Crush
When you admire and idolise someone your feelings can become intense. Sometimes the intensity can cause you to mistake adulation for romantic fascination. Being in awe of someone, who you think is cool and amazing, is natural and acceptable provided that your admiration for this person teaches you something.
• The Romantic Crush
A romantic crush is likely to make you feel like you have a hundred butterflies dancing in your stomach, and you spend most of the day fantasising about your dream life with this person. When you have a romantic crush you like someone in more than a friendly way, and making him or her your boyfriend/girlfriend is all that you can think about.
• The Passing Crush
It is common and natural to be attracted to people, with or without any particular reason. This attraction is what is known as the passing crush and is mostly motivated by a physical attraction to someone you think is exciting and hot.
The Best Approach
How to ask your crush out should be easy to figure out once you have identified the type of crush you have, and how you tend to behave when you are around the object of your affection and attention.
• The Shy Approach
If you find yourself blushing uncontrollably and tripping up over your words, when you are in the presence of your crush, you will need to overcome your panic if you want to know how to ask your crush out.
If you’re a little shy take things slow and find out things about your crush. What they like and dislike, activities they enjoy and anything that gives you some insight will help you find common ground on which to make your best approach. Starting a friendship first will allow you to get to know more about your crush, and their personality, before you take a chance and ask your crush out.
• The Outgoing Approach
Feeling confident and chatty when your crush is around means that an outgoing approach is ideal for you. Talk to your crush and get to know his/her personality and likes and dislikes. Whilst a little playful banter and friendly teasing is fine make sure you don’t go overboard, as this may make your crush feel uncomfortable.
Avoid being creepy by taking the time to get to know your crush before you ask him or her out. He/she is not likely to agree to a date with someone who has randomly asked them out. Be yourself and be friendly and charming. Don’t try to impress or to speed things up. Be outgoing and let the connection happen naturally. You’ll know exactly when the perfect moment comes to ask your crush out.
• The Flirty Approach
The flirty approach is best if you find that you are always giggly and jokey around your crush. Using subtle body language signs is an effective way of getting your message of interest across without having to make a huge amount of effort. Soft and gentle physical touch, on the hand or arm, is acceptable when you’re engaged in friendly conversation with your crush.
If you’re a girl show off your interest by playing with your hair as you maintain eye contact with your crush. If you’re a guy use your body language to close the physical space between you and your crush, as you make her laugh with your flirty banter. By being yourself how to ask your crush out will be easy and effortless.
This article was co-authored by Collette Gee. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of “Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending.” Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette’s coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, several readers have written to tell us that this article was helpful to them, earning it our reader-approved status.
This article has been viewed 293,577 times.
Asking your crush out can seem scary, but it doesn’t have to be! There are many quick ways you can easily and directly ask your crush out. If you’re a little too nervous to ask them out directly, you can drop some hints instead that tell them you’re interested in going out and let you see how they respond; from there you can figure out how you should proceed.
When you have a crush on someone, you can’t just stay still or they will be snatched out by someone else. You have to make a move. But honestly, whether you are a girl or a boy, asking your crush out is probably the most difficult part in a relationship. It takes more than courage to do it and nothing less important is: how to ask your crush out without embarrassing yourself.
You can’t figure out how is your crush feeling about you all along. If they are kind to you, maybe because they are naturally kind and they treat others just the same. There is no guarantee that they will not reject you. Of course, the fear of rejection is the biggest thing that holding you back from confessing your feeling.
But at least you should give it a go. So that you are no longer wondering whether they like you or not. Rejection is painful but it’s better to have it rather than later when your feeling for them grow stronger. Hey, what if they like you back and you end up going out together? It’s always worth to try.
Here are the ways how to ask your crush out without embarrassing yourself in front of them:
1. Gather Your Courage
The most important thing is for you have gather all of your courage before you ask them out. It requires a big bravery from you as rejection is at stake. But make sure that this person is really worth the effort. It may look scary at first (because it is scary), but there come a big relieve soon after. See also How to Get Closer to Your Crush in School and Fall for You
2. Seek Advice from Your Friends
Share your worry with your friends, along with your plan to ask the out. Ask for some useful advice from them along with the encouragement that you can do it. You are in a big advantage if your friends happen to know your crush well.
3. Don’t Worry About What Others Think
Your love confession can be embarrassing only when you care about what others would think about it. You can’t control their mind, so that they always see things through their own perspective. Prepare yourself for this. Don’t worry about what they think. You are more important in this. See also How to Get Your Crush to Notice You for Guys
4. Don’t Worry About Their Answer
This is probably the biggest thing that holding you back. You are not sure about how your crush feeling toward you and you get scared of rejection. Think about all the possible answer before you meet them, and don’t worry about it much. Your courage to tell them is all matters.
5. Talk with Them Alone
No one ask you to do a public confession. This is why you need to stressed less about it. Ask a private meeting with them. Telling your crush in private minimize the embarrassment you may get or feel. It’s only between you and them. They are the only one who knows what you say and they won’t be feel burdensome since they can say their answer directly to you. They might feel the embarrassment too! See also Signs A Coworker Has A Crush On You Secretly
6. Start the Conversation Lightly
At this moment, thousand of butterflies surely flying in your stomach. Exciting but scary at the same time. Set the mood of the conversation by starting it lightly. You can also make some jokes to break your tension. After that, calmly say all the prepared speech to confess your feeling. And you’re done.
7. Respond to Their Answer
Yet another scary moment. Get ready to hear their answer. Whether it’s good or bad for you, give the reaction you have rehearsed. Don’t be surprised and stick with the plan. It’s how you can make it less embarrassing. See also Should I Give Up on My Crush If She Has A Boyfriend or Not?
8. Congratulate Yourself
Regardless of what their answer was, one sure thing is you have to congratulate yourself. Cheer on you for the courage you have shown. You have been braver than anyone else. And if they reciprocate your feeling, it’s double celebration.
What If They Reject You
The worst thing that could happen is rejection. Remember that rejection doesn’t mean failure. You’re still doing well for your braver. Here are some ways to cope with the rejection from your crush. See also How to Get Your Crush’s Attention Without Being Obvious at Him
- Don’t be Angry
You may be shocked after the rejection and it’s normal. You can be upset and heartbroken, but don’t be angry. It doesn’t make anything better. Anger only do damage to yourself and everyone around you. Wish them good luck and wear your nicest smile all the time even though you are broken on the inside.
- Spend Time with Your Friends
Find peace and joy in your friends. They will be understand about how messy your feeling and always know how to lift your mood back. Spend many times with them, do a lot of fun activities and laugh.
- Ask for Help
Heartbreak can take its toll on someone. Every person react differently to rejection. Some may have it easy but for others it can be the hardest thing they’ve ever experienced (especially when it’s a first). If it’s happen to you, seek for a help for someone you trust. You can go to counselor or therapist near you.
- Don’t Let It Traumatize You
One rejection doesn’t define who you are nor it’s a failure. Don’t be traumatic with it that you are afraid of rejection in the future. Open up to new person and new opportunity that comes along.
To avoid a big disappointment after you confess yourself to them, don’t let your hope too high on the first place. Keep in mind that you only want to give it try, so that you no longer wondering about how they feel. It’s the best way how to ask your crush out without embarrassing yourself. You can laugh it off later too.
“I was at dinner with my friends and our waiter was super hot. I flirted with him every time he came to our table and we talked before I left, but he didn’t ask for my number. Walking to the car, I felt bummed. But instead of letting the opportunity slip away, I wrote my name and number on a card and went back into the restaurant and gave it to him. I told him I thought we should hang out or get coffee sometime. He texted me later that night!” – Tarini, 17
“I was having a girls’ night with my friends and was telling them how much I liked my crush. They told me I should just go for it and ask him out – so I did! I called him and he said yes! We’ve been going out ever since.” – Melinda, 21
“I met this guy in my computer class and we had instant chemistry. We wouldflirt all the time during class, but he never asked me out. Finally, I got up the nerve to make a move. I told him I thought we should go out sometime, but didn’t want to ruin our friendship. His next words took my breath away: He said he had a crush on me ever since we met on the first day of class! I was scared to ask him out, but the seven months we ended up dating for made it totally worth it!” – Miranda, 16
“Freshman year of high school I met this guy named Alex through a mutual friend. We became really good friends, but after a while, I started to crush on him. One night, we were watching a movie in his basement and I knew it was the moment to make something happen. I was scared because we were friends, but I knew I had to go for it. I looked into his eyes and kissed him! Alex kissed me back. It was the perfect moment.” – Cameron, 16
“I had been crushing on my guy friend for the longest time and finally decided to ask him out. I did it in a playful way. We were playing the Question Game, which is basically just taking turns asking each other questions, and halfway through the game I asked him out. He said yes!” – Lollie, 14
“My crush loves Snapple, so I asked him out on a date by taping a playful message under his cap! It said: “Fact: Jess wants to take you out. Say yes.” He loved it! My advice is to ask your crush out in a fun way that relates to him.” – Jess, 19
“During my junior year of high school, I was crushing on this guy in my guitar class named Aaron. He was so dreamy. I would always sneak peeks at him in class, but never actually talked to him because I was too shy. On the last day of class, I wrote my number on a piece of paper, handed it to him and told him to text me. He texted me later that day and we’ve been dating for a year and a half now!” – Kayla, 18
When just receiving a phone call from someone these days can be seen as intimate, it’s hard not to assume romance is dead. But there are still people out there who believe in grand, romantic gestures and believe that confessions of love require a lil’ more effort than just a right swipe. These 11 stories from real people will remind you that there is hope out there for humanity.
“I once turned around to a guy who sat behind me in a lecture (with whom I was super in love despite exchanging zero words) and asked if he wanted to play me in Words With Friends. It completely worked and we ended up hooking up consistently and nearly dating.”—Dia B., 27
“My now-boyfriend slid a note under the door of my dorm room after we spent the night before talking about letters and childhood pen pals a the party where we met. He lived directly across the hall, which could’ve been a disaster, but thankfully worked out.”—Sarah W., 23
“In high school, my crush got my favorite candy, a York peppermint patty. He carefully opened it, slipped a note inside asking me to go out with him and re-sealed it and gave it to me at lunch. Still one of the cutest ways I’ve been asked out.”—Alli K., 23
“One time in college, I couldn’t go home for Easter weekend and I was really sad. My crush set up a mini Easter egg / scavenger hunt for me where each egg had a clue of where to find the next egg. In the last egg was a handwritten note that said ‘will you go to formal with me?’”—Becky K., 25
She caught his eye when she walked into Starbucks one day, but he didn’t have the courage to approach her — just to make her drink order. Same with the next day. And the next. Until one day, he snuck a little message onto the bottom of her cup and winked when handing it over.
He walked up to her with a quiet confidence and offered a piece of gum on the way to class. She took the one partially sticking out and found a surprise inside. The message on the wrapper read, “Will you go out with me?” and the two ended up dating for almost three years. [Editor’s note: This actually happened to the author!]
After taking a shot at a beautiful girl named Josie on a dating app, Taylor Blake started a journal to log each of their dates. They started out simple, but, as they got to know each other more, the entries became more intense — until, finally, she presented Josie with the journal, putting all her feelings on the table, and asked if she’d officially be her girlfriend. She said yes, of course.
After high school a cappella group OneVoice performed flawlessly on America’s Got Talent, one of the band members took the opportunity to ask his crush a special question — on national television, no less: Prom?
When his crush wasn’t looking, he took her phone, changed his name and photo in her contacts, and placed it back next to her. Then, he called. When she looked down to see who was calling, she couldn’t help but swoon.
The only thing better than opening a box with an engagement ring is opening a box of ooey, gooey, cheesy pizza. She’ll be drooling too much to say no.
9.12.14 ❤️ @itsonlyyforever
A photo posted by Jenna Anne (@jennaanne01) on Sep 11, 2014 at 7:02pm PDT
Asking someone to go to the movies is one thing. Asking someone to be your girlfriend is another. Instead of waiting the whole movie, through racing hearts and clammy hands, to pop the question, this girl let her golden ticket do all the talking before they even entered the theater.
Always seated at the front of the chem class taking notes and answering questions, she knew she had to be clever to get his attention. So, she turned to her textbook for inspiration. And, as it turned out, they had quite a lot of chemistry.
You can have crush on anyone, whether it’s to the same sex as yours or to the opposite sex. Problem is, what if your crush is straight but you are gay? It puts you in a dilemma as you want to talk to them but you also worry in case they run away when they know about your sexuality.
So how to talk to your crush if you are a gay and he’s straight? Is it impossible to get close to him? Is there any way for him to be comfortable with me? Sure, it is. There must be solutions to every problem.
First thing you should know is that it’s pretty common for gays to develop crush to straight men. While the prospect of being in a relationship with him remains blurry, at least you can get closer to him.
- Ask a Therapist
This is probably the first and the best thing you can do. Especially when you live in a conservative community, you have to be careful with every steps you take. Find therapist to discuss about your problem, including your crush who is a straight guy.
They can help you to find better way to communicate with him, without making him worry or afraid of you. Also read How to Tell Someone You’re Gay Without Saying It
- Be His Friend
If he is not your friend, then you can start to get close by being his friend. Start it without intention of having relationship with him since it might trouble you later. As long as you can keep your manner, it will be okay.
Not that you have to conceal your true self, but you’re being careful here since you never know how would he react if he knows that you’re a gay.
- Share Interests with Him
Just like how any other boys grow close to each other, they usually share common interests. So this is what you can do. Find what’s his interests and see if you have something in common with him.
If you don’t, try to like one of his interests so you have something to talk about and do together. Thinking of it, wouldn’t it be really fun? Also read Best Dating App for Gay Relationship
- Avoid Becoming Demanding of Him
Another way how to talk to your crush if you are a gay and he’s straight. You have to control the way you behave to him. For example when you text him and it took hours for him to reply, just patiently wait.
No need to text him over and over again to make him reply sooner. It will make him uncomfortable and eventually he grows suspicious on you.
- Prepare Yourself for the Worst
So you know from the beginning that he’s a straight, don’t let yourself expect too much from him. The worst thing that could happen is he’ll be running away from you as soon as he know you have crush on him.
This is why it’s important for you to prepare for this. So you won’t be too depressed when it happens. Also read What Do I Do When My Crush Likes My Best Friend?
- Forget and Let Go
If you think the chance is really small, maybe the best thing is for you to walk away before your feeling grows deeper. This is indeed easier said than done, but moving on is a process you have to get through to prevent the worst heartbreak.
- Talk to Your Friends
If you really don’t know what to do and you don’t want to talk it to a therapist, then you could ask your best friend about it. They will listen to you sincerely and give you the best answers possible. Even if they don’t, you’re going to feel your burden is lighter.
If you are not comfortable with your friends, you can tell either your parents or sibling if they know your condition and they are okay with that. Sometimes other persons can help you put things in perspective. Also read Ways to Make Your Best Friends Feel Better
- Don’t Force Him to Change His Sexuality
No matter how much you like him, never try to change his sexuality. You have to respect their orientation and accepting that both of you are going onto different directions. If you ever try to change him, it could lead you to even bigger disappointment.
- Keep Yourself Busy
If he occupies your mind too much, you should drive your attention to something else. Try not to think about him all the time by doing other activities, find new hobbies, etc. That way you can avoid being obsessed with him. Also read Ways to Move On
So those are the ways how to talk to your crush if you are a gay and he’s straight. If you got any other ways, share with others through the comment section below.
Need some inspo so that you can get the courage to ask your crush out? We've gotcha covered. These 10 quotes are sure to make you feel more ready than ever. Bonus: they're screensaver worthy too!
So true, if you're not quite ready to ask your crush out, try becoming friends first!
Do you believe you can ask your crush out? You're already halfway there, babe!
Sometimes we all need a little reminder of our bravery, even if we're not asking out our crushes.
Yaaasss, confidence goes a long way.
It's so true, you've got your very own superpower. YOU!
We think you're da bomb, and we know your crush will too!
It's totally okay if it takes a little bit of time to get the courage to ask out your crush. You'll get there.
Even the tiniest things can go a long way towards improving your confidence or making the big moment easier.
And we believe you can.
Are you thinking of asking your crush out? Let us know in the comments!
Just do it, there will always be a “better” time but there’s no such thing as right or wrong.
From my experience, getting over with as soon as possible is usually the best choice, however if you’re concerned about making them uncomfortable then do it the day before a weekend or holiday so they have time to think it over before seeing you again.
Yes there definitely is a right time and place for confessing. (Asking out is step two if you’ve confessed and they’re aight with it or they like you back you don’t need a right time or place to ask them out)
Effective times to confess are any time you’re alone some people prefer to do it over text it’s not really as good but if you’re both introverts or shy then it’s probably actually more effective than in person
Not necessarily, but I might confirm they’re not going through a stressful time cause then that would put more on their plate. I’d probably do it during a week or month that we talk and interact a lot (as with my crush we sometimes talk more or less depending on our schedules). I’d probably make sure I’m in a good mindset as well, prepared for either outcome. So really, it’s just about preparation and being considerate, but this is just how I’d do it personally