How to apologize to a cat

How to apologize to a cat

It is common for cat owners to associate human reactions to the feline friend. It is only natural to ask whether a cat is holding a grudge against one if the owner somehow hurt it.

You need to understand the fact that every cat is different and has a different reaction to everything. Some cats are playful and more loving, while other cats are more conserved about their feelings.

So, it is difficult to answer the question with certainty. But it is safe to say that the cat will forgive you if it was a sudden mishap. Cats have long memories when there is constant abuse in their household.

In this article, we will understand how you can say whether the cat is upset and how to regain trust.

Will my cat forgive me for hitting her?

It is common to believe that cats hold grudges against anyone who defies it or has hurt it somehow. Cats can even tear one of the cushions or spray on the bed.

But you should know that cats do not take vengeance in that way, and it does not mean that the cat is angry at you.

So, we can confirm that one bad experience does not result in a grudge. The cat will easily forgive the owner after a treat and a little love.

However, cats do remember if there was abuse in the household. Cats have strong survival instincts, and these instincts force them to recollect abuse for a long time.

Cats will avoid being in the same situation ever. So, it may happen that it will avoid going near the owner.

For example, an outdoor remember to avoid the areas where the cats are aggressive towards it, avoiding going into that neighborhood.

It is an act of self-preservation. The same situation happens with a human if the cat considers its owner to be a threat. If a cat avoids its owner, it doesn’t mean that the cat is holding a grudge. It means that the cat is afraid of one.

It is crucial to understand whether the cat is angry at its owner. Cats show these behavioral traits if it is upset –

  • Avoiding one completely
  • Swishing tail while keeping it low
  • Hissing whenever one is around
  • Ears held low and flat against the head.
  • Swiping with paws
  • Staring at one with dilated pupil

If one sees the cat showing any of these behaviors, give it a little space then. One can apologize to it later as it will only exacerbate the situation if one approaches the cat.

How do you apologize to a cat?

The first step in apologizing to your cat is to wait for it to come to its owner. Give it enough space so that it could understand that the cat has the freedom it wants.

Give treats to your feline friend regularly, and scatter some surprise treats to show that one is apologizing for the harm.

The anxiety caused by the painful memory will dominate the cat’s mood and behavior until it finds peace.

One should get by with the daily chores and verbalize to the cat. Cats can recognize its owner’s voice clearly, and it will respond to the calls when it is calm.

When the cat approaches you, acknowledge it in a calm and friendly manner. Modulate your voice to make it sound more caring. A little high-pitched voice should do the trick in this case.

Cats recognize its owner’s voice quite well, and it will respond to it when it feels safe. When the cat is ready for you to make amends, do these three things to make it happy again –

  • Pet the cat where it likes to stay the most
  • Give its favorite treat as it comes near.
  • Give him the attention it needs

If the cat is still not responding to your calls and behaves in an agitated manner around its owner, it does not mean that the cat is holding a grudge.

It indicates that one is performing an act that is making the cat angry repeatedly. The cat was probably upset because of some harm in the past.

But now it is a cycle of new anger. It is also possible that the cat is responding to a threatening object in the environment. So, maintain a calm and playful surrounding in the following way –

  • Stick to the same routine
  • Calming fragrance in the house
  • Accompany it and play with it
  • Rotate the toys
  • Give the cat space when it needs to be alone.

If one is unable to reform the relationship with the chat, consider going to a behaviorist. If the cat suffers from chronic anxiety, a bit of expert advice should help in dealing with the problem.

The cat should be happy and well-behaved after a few meetings, and it will move past the previous trauma.

Make a harmonious relationship with the cat. Provide a caring and understanding environment for the cat. One should remember that cats do not hold grudges.

It wants to be a pet as much as one wants to reform the damaged relationship. A little care and attention should help it to get past the trauma.

Rebuilding a relationship with an abused cat is tough, as they have lost the trust entirely. One needs to be patient with it and give it as long as it needs.

If one treats a cat well and follows a strict routine, it may surely forgive you. But it will take a long time to regain trust.

Being aggressive towards a cat should not be how one deals with a problem, and it never leads to something good. Therefore, refrain from hitting an animal if it misbehaves.

Reconstructing the relationship is possible. If one has harmed the cat by mistake or an off-incident, then follow the simple steps to remedy the situation.

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Hi There, AJ Oren here. I am the founder of this amazing pet blog & a passionate writer who loves helping pet owners to learn more about their pets through my articles. I am also the content manager of this blog. I have experience in pet training and behavior, sheltering, and currently working for a veterinary clinic.

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Updated: March 8, 2021 by

It’s said that cats are indifferent and uncaring animals, but the fact is that sometimes, they seem to be the most well mannered animals in the world. At least with their most beloved person. Contrary to what many would believe, cats can say sorry. But how? How do cats apologize? What are the telltale signs you need to look for?

You only need to stay around your cat more and watch her actions and ‘manners’, especially after knocking down that pot by the window. But before learning about how do cats apologize, let’s understand the matter of guilt.

Do Cats Feel Guilt

Guilt is a complex human emotion that animals don’t have the capability to understand or replicate, because they are wired differently. They do have feelings, but they’re mainly just very basic ones.

Cats might look guilty from time to time, but that doesn’t mean they feel guilty. That look on their face when the pot they kicked just smashed on the floor doesn’t show guilt. It shows the fear of being reprimanded for what they did. And that behavior is a learned one.

Since that’s not the only time when they knock down something, if you do reprimand or punish them almost each time, they will learn to associate that behavior with the punishment, so the next time it happens, they’ll have that look on their face. Not that they understand it was something bad or why you’re upset. They just know what’s coming, fear it and want to get away or to escape it.

How Do Cats Apologize

Now, cats can be jerks. But when they develop a relationship with another fellow cat or their owner, they will try to fix things when they know they’ve upset their friend. And friends do apologize to one another when they screw up, don’t they?

Such is the case with cats. At least when they know they’ve upset us. And since they see us as just some other fellow cat – only bigger and clumsier – they will apologize exactly the way they apologize to any other cat. By rubbing on us, raising their tails and grooming us.

Sure, since we don’t understand them, they most often assume we’re a very tall, retarded and weird looking cat, bald and bearded in some cases, with huge clumsy paws who doesn’t deserve their respect, so they might not feel the need to apologize to us.

But if you and your furry little friend have become friends, you can expect your cat to come to you and show you she’s sorry right before you want to reprimand her. She may not know why you’re upset and what’s the big deal with that smashed pot on the floor, but she knows you’ll be mad and she comes rubbing on your legs to ease off her sentence.

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How to apologize to a cat

You screwed up. Now it’s time to own it. Knowing how to apologize is a crucial life and career skill. But when you write an apology letter, creating a permanent record of an event and your response to it, it’s all the more important that you get it right.

Why is writing an apology letter so hard?

Apologizing is an art form few of us seem to master. We don’t want to admit our mistakes because we think that making mistakes reflects badly on our character. But the truth is, not apologizing, or making a feeble non-apology, is often worse.

There are a few reasons you may struggle with apologies:

  • You assume that making mistakes means you’re a bad person. When you feel ashamed, you have a hard time recognizing that one goof doesn’t reflect on your character as a whole.
  • You get defensive. No one wants to feel ashamed. But a defense is not an apology.
  • You worry that you’ll have to own all the responsibility, or that you’ll open the floodgate for more accusations. It could happen, sure. But not apologizing builds resentment over time, and that’s toxic to personal and workplace environments.

The good news is that when you put your apology in writing, you have the luxury of polishing and editing your thoughts so that they say precisely what you mean to convey.

The Elements of a Good Apology Letter

Sorry does seem to be the hardest word, but if you can master these steps in the apology process, you’re sure to make a good impression. These guidelines apply whether you’re apologizing for a personal error, or you’re writing an apology on behalf of a team or business.

  • Say you’re sorry. Not, “I’m sorry, but . . .” Just plain ol’ “I’m sorry.”
  • Own the mistake. It’s important to show the wronged person that you’re willing to take responsibility for your actions.
  • Describe what happened. The wronged person needs to know that you understand what happened and why it was hurtful to them. Make sure you remain focused on your role rather than deflecting the blame.
  • Have a plan. Let the wronged person know how you intend to fix the situation.
  • Admit you were wrong. It takes a big person to own up to being wrong. But you’ve already reminded yourself that you’re a big person. You’ve got this.
  • Ask for forgiveness. A little vulnerability goes a long way toward proving that you mean what you say.

It’s as easy (and as hard) as that. No minimizing, no shifting blame, no defenses. Now, let’s take a look at some apology letter examples that follow this format.

Apology Letter Examples

Before you begin writing, there are a few pointers to keep in mind. First, keep your letter brief and to the point. Don’t ramble on about what happened—distill it to the essentials. Don’t exaggerate, either. There’s no need to fall on your sword. But do keep your language respectful, sincere, and professional.

The Third-Party Apology

If you supervise an employee who made a mistake and find yourself apologizing to a customer or client, it’s important that you take responsibility without dumping all the blame on the employee. After all, what your employees do reflects your leadership.

On behalf of ABC Office Equipment, I extend our sincerest apologies for the bad experience you had with our sales associate, James. I understand that James made unprofessional remarks when you visited our storefront to inquire about a new copier. You came to us in search of information, and instead were subjected to a pushy salesperson.

At ABC, it’s our goal to help you make an informed purchase decision without having to deal with aggressive sales tactics. James is a new employee that I’ve been training. I take full responsibility for his behavior. He has received a written reprimand and will be shadowing one of our senior sales associates until he has a better understanding of the ABC Office Equipment approach to customer service.

I’m grateful that you brought this issue to my attention and I ask your forgiveness. We’d love to earn your business. I’ve included a voucher for 20 percent off your next purchase in our store as a thank-you, should you decide to give us a second chance. We hope to see you again soon!

Jennifer Smith Equipment Sales Manager

The Personal Apology Letter

Sometimes, you have to own up to something you did that hurt or inconvenienced another person. We’ve all been there. Keep it simple. Don’t make excuses. Show that you’re trying to improve.

I apologize for not arriving on time to pick you up from the airport yesterday afternoon. I have no excuse for keeping you waiting and wondering when your ride would show up.

It’s important to me not to let people down when they’re depending on me. Next time, I’ll make better use of calendar alerts so I’ll be sure to leave in plenty of time to arrive as scheduled, or even ahead of schedule.

I humbly ask your forgiveness. I hope my mistake won’t prevent you from seeking my help in the future. I’m always happy to be of service.

The Mass Apology

It’s horrifying to think about, but sometimes you end up upsetting a group of people rather than just one person. As with all apology letters, It’s important not to say, “I’m sorry if anyone felt offended.” (That’s like saying, “It’s too bad some of you don’t know how to handle my personality.”) Instead, say, “I’m sorry that I offended anyone.”

I owe you all an apology. When I planned my costume for our annual company Halloween bash, I clearly wasn’t thinking. I now realize that what I wore was offensive to some of you, as well as to your families.

It was never my intention to cause anyone distress. Looking back, however, I can clearly see that I didn’t think things through before I decided on what to wear. Next time, I’ll be sure to weigh my warped sense of humor against my sense of propriety and choose something that isn’t controversial.

I hope you’ll forgive me for making you uncomfortable. Please accept the cupcakes in the breakroom as a sincere peace offering.

My old cat goes into the yard with me while I water (I don’t leave him outside otherwise). Apparently he has managed to scale a 6ft fence and go into the neighbours yard, because I had a fairly unpleasant encounter with my neighbour today.

I saw my cat pop up (from what I thought was behind the shed) and heard my neighbour mutter through the fence “I’m gonna kill that cat, stay out of my yard”.

Now. I didn’t respond to him because I was shocked (no one has threatened me or my animals before). I had some time to cool down and I think I will leave him an apology card with a gift card to the garden center. I don’t want to talk to him in person because honestly he seems a bit unbalanced.

The majority of the message will be along the lines of “so sorry won’t happen again etc”. But part of me (a bitter part?) also wants to mention that he shouldn’t kill my cat if he sees it again. I don’t plan on letting my cat out, but things happens and I don’t want him dead. I also don’t want him throwing poison around and killing my dog.

What I hope to achieve is getting him not to kill my animals and perhaps act a bit more reasonably if he sees a cat in his yard (talk to me first without death threats through the fence?). I don’t know if I should just apologize and leave it at that, or mention that in the future I’d appreciate that he let me know there is a problem first before acting on his impulse? I am worried that adding all this will just make him angrier. On the other hand he already muttered threats so in a way I hope he realizes it might not be an appropriate thing to say.

How to apologize to my neighbour who threatened to kill my cat without annoying him and ending up with him hurting my pets?

How to apologize to a cat

For most people, the question of “how do cats apologise” is easy to answer: they don’t! They knock our picture frames off the shelves. They kick litter out of the box seemingly on purpose. If we leave them overnight with a cat-loving Pet Sitter, we get reports of them zooming around the house at 3am. As this article is being written, a cat is unapologetically trying to sit on the keyboard.

It seems they are simply incapable of apologies.

At least that’s what we all thought. But as it turns out, science shows us that cats are much more complex and emotionally attuned than we give them credit for. They may not say sorry the same way a human would. But they do apologise, in their own way. And once you learn “how do cats apologise,” maybe you won’t be quite so angry about them for looking you straight in the eye while they scratch up your furniture.

How to apologize to a cat

“Uhhhhh, hooman? I may have messed up…”

First of all, are cats capable of apologising?

It can seem like cats live in their own little world. We assume that in their mind, they rule the house. You’re simply a servant that gives them their food and cleans out their litter box. But, research of cat behaviour tells us that’s not totally true.

On the one hand, cats are self-sustaining and territorial. Give a cat a safe place to live and the opportunity to hunt and they don’t need to have a human around. But that doesn’t mean that cats are unable to form strong emotional bonds. According to International Cat Care, females in feral colonies will groom each other and care for kittens communally. They may hunt alone, but many chose to live together in social groups.

Interestingly, fights and aggression within feral colonies are quite rare. Cats may not have much of a need to apologise because they don’t tend to anger the cats within their colony.

When we bring cats into our homes, we have the potential of creating the social group that is common in a feral colony. If we invest time in bonding exercises and general cuddles, our fur babies may see us as part of their social group. If your cat is very social and secure in their territory and relationship with their Owners, they may warm up more easily to cat-loving Pet Sitters, as well.

When you get angry at your cat, on the other hand, they get scared and stressed out. All they want is for things to go back to normal. But do they apologise? Well, it’s probably more likely that your cat just wants to make sure that they can still feel safe in their social group. They’re not admitting guilt, but they’re likely testing the waters to make sure you’re still friends.

So when they want to make things right, how do cats apologise?

Now, in the heat of the argument, your cat’s first reaction is likely going to be to run away. They may hide or go to a place in the room where they feel safe. You’ll also notice them staring at you. A lot of owners mistake this as defiance in their cat, as if their cat is saying to them, “Yes, I did that, and I don’t care.” But it’s more likely that your feline friend is trying to read the situation. Only when you’re calm will they be able to relax as well.

When things cool off, that’s when you’re going to see “apologising” behaviour. Every cat is different, but there are a few feline behaviours that may be your cat’s way of saying they’d like to patch things up. They include,

  • Approaching you (it’s a little gesture, but it means they feel safe)
  • Head butting and rubbing
  • Purring
  • Blinking slowly

It’s impossible to say how long it will take for your cat to come around. But when they do, validate it! Only with an intact relationship will you be able to correct the behaviour that made you angry in the first place.

Perhaps more important than asking “how do cats apologise,” is asking ourselves, “why should they?”

At this point, a few things are clear. Cats don’t feel guilt. They do feel connected to us. And there are certain behaviours that show us they still think of us as part of their social group. And now that you’ve read this far to find out “how do cats apologise,” it might be time to ask yourself why you expected them to in the first place.

If your cat is peeing in the house, pooping outside the litter box, scratching up the furniture, or causing some other widespread chaos in your home, there’s a reason. Some behaviours are instinctual, like sharpening their claws and waking you up at 4am. Others are cries for help, like pooping outside the litter box because it’s dirty or the litter is bothering their paws.

When you learn about the behaviours of your cat, you’ll be able to address issues and make your home more cat-friendly. We’ve written articles about how to stop your cat from scratching the furniture and how to convince your cat to love you so that the bond between the two of you is stronger. Do more research about your cat’s unique behaviours to see if there’s anything you can do to make them feel more comfortable.

Overall, your cat wants to be on good terms with you. If you can compromise a little bit for your cat, there will be far fewer reasons for them to be apologising to you.

by How to apologize to a catJessica Evans December 4, 2019, 9:00 am updated December 4, 2019, 9:05 am

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Oh no! Your actions have deeply offended your cat, and now it does not even allow you to approach it! Fortunately, it’s possible to earn a cat’s forgiveness.

#1 Choose the right time to apologize.

How to apologize to a cat

If you see that the cat is angry, you need to give it a little time before approaching and apologizing.

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#2 Find out the cause of resentment.

How to apologize to a cat

If you offended a cat by teasing it, you should offer it a treat or praise it.

If you accidentally stepped on a cat’s tail or frightened it by dropping a pan, it might be enough just to hug it.

If you have taken a cat’s favorite place on the couch, you can give way and give the cat a treat.

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#3 Approach the cat slowly.

How to apologize to a cat

If a cat runs away from you, it may still be angry with you, upset, or scared. Do not chase the cat, instead try again a few minutes later.

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#4 Talk to the cat.

How to apologize to a cat

Tell: “Forgive me.” You can name the cat by name. Make sure your voice is soft and calm; use a slightly higher tone than usual. Although the cat does not understand your words, it will understand your tone. Do not speak in a loud, piercing voice: cats have a very sensitive hearing, and in this way you will only cause irritation.

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#5 Try to blink slowly.

How to apologize to a cat

The cat that trusts you blink slowly. By doing the same, you show the cat that you trust it.

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#6 Gently pet the cat where it likes.

How to apologize to a cat

Be sure to pay attention to the mood of the cat: if the cat seems angry or upset, do not touch it.

carolpetunia

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Thread starter

Dylan is a blue/grey tabby with golden eyes, very sleek and elegant, very much the head of my parents’ household. He’s four-and-a-half years old now, and they’ve had him since he was just eight weeks.

Right now, my two cats and I are staying with my parents (and their three) because my father is ill. Yesterday, a fight broke out among the cats — I don’t know what started it, but my Clyde and Pearl chased Dylan into the guest room, where he hopped on the windowsill and started hissing ferociously at one and all.

Now we all understand that Dylan’s status in the household is challenged by the presence of my cats, and we know he feels a lot of pressure because of it. So we try to reassure him as much as we can.

So I came in and got between my kitties and Dylan while my mom removed them from the room. After they were gone, I apologized to Dylan for the fact that my cats have intruded on his domain. Then I reached out to pet him, which was a mistake — he clamped down on my left hand and bit me badly, while also digging his claws into my right hand like fishhooks.

I don’t know whether it was the right thing to do or not, but I didn’t leave him — I stayed right there and bled and continued to talk to him very quietly until he seemed to settle down. Then I tried again, VERY carefully, and this time he let me stroke his cheek.

Then I went out and cleaned up my wounds, bandaged everything, and about a half-hour later I went and sat beside Dylan again. He looked at my hands and then looked up at me very directly. and bowed his head. He sat with his head bowed for a long time.

This morning, while I was cleaning and rebandaging everything, Dylan hopped up on the counter and looked at the wounds, and again looked me right in the eye for a moment and then bowed his head.

And that’s exactly what he did a couple of years ago when he tore a long cut in my mom’s ankle. I honestly think this cat is apologizing! Has anyone else had a similar experience?

babyharley

TCS Member

How to apologize to a cat

How to apologize to a cat

How to apologize to a cat

I love it when he apologizes, I think its just too sweet!

How to apologize to a cat

shambelle

TCS Member

How to apologize to a cat

sweetiecat3

TCS Member

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

Dylan is a blue/grey tabby with golden eyes, very sleek and elegant, very much the head of my parents’ household. He’s four-and-a-half years old now, and they’ve had him since he was just eight weeks.

Right now, my two cats and I are staying with my parents (and their three) because my father is ill. Yesterday, a fight broke out among the cats — I don’t know what started it, but my Clyde and Pearl chased Dylan into the guest room, where he hopped on the windowsill and started hissing ferociously at one and all.

Now we all understand that Dylan’s status in the household is challenged by the presence of my cats, and we know he feels a lot of pressure because of it. So we try to reassure him as much as we can.

So I came in and got between my kitties and Dylan while my mom removed them from the room. After they were gone, I apologized to Dylan for the fact that my cats have intruded on his domain. Then I reached out to pet him, which was a mistake — he clamped down on my left hand and bit me badly, while also digging his claws into my right hand like fishhooks.

I don’t know whether it was the right thing to do or not, but I didn’t leave him — I stayed right there and bled and continued to talk to him very quietly until he seemed to settle down. Then I tried again, VERY carefully, and this time he let me stroke his cheek.

Then I went out and cleaned up my wounds, bandaged everything, and about a half-hour later I went and sat beside Dylan again. He looked at my hands and then looked up at me very directly. and bowed his head. He sat with his head bowed for a long time.

This morning, while I was cleaning and rebandaging everything, Dylan hopped up on the counter and looked at the wounds, and again looked me right in the eye for a moment and then bowed his head.

And that’s exactly what he did a couple of years ago when he tore a long cut in my mom’s ankle. I honestly think this cat is apologizing! Has anyone else had a similar experience?

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#1 iamsmiley

  • How to apologize to a cat
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  • today i was getting dressed and i accidently elbowed my little dog in the head rather hard.i immediately rubbed the spot,told him i was sorry then rubbed his belly and made a big fuss over him .

    when i was younger i would never have done this,mainly because i didn’t think an animal would understand my apology.i also have found that my animal training methods have gotten much kinder as i have begun to understand animal psychology better and find it much easier on both of us.i think when i was learning to train horses some of my methods where rather sadistic and this is always something i have had to watch in my personality.i rarely get frustrated with animals anymore and lose my temper,instead i wonder if i am asking them wrong.horses and dogs seem to want to please us for the most part in my experience.

    i have participated in dressage (think horse ballet)for a number of years and i got a comment from a judge once that said that my horse was very obedient but should be responding more out of joy than simple obedience.that comment was many years ago but i still think about it often.although i can “make” a horse do just about whatever i want,i now also want my horse to enjoy what it is that i’m asking it to do.i have even noticed that if my horse walks away when i am approaching her in the paddock,that maybe she is sore or that i am pushing her to hard.

    i think my next door neighbour maybe thinks i have taken my animal kindness methods to far when she was teaching me to butcher chickens.i gently picked up the chicken to cut its head off.she said “for Christ’s sake it’s a chicken,pick it up by its legs,it’s not a pet!”. she may need to think this way to kill her chickens and get into her “killer mode” but i think it’s unnecessary and i have found that my meat is more tender when an animal has no idea whats up and it’s quickly killed.

    so i’m wondering if you apologize to your animals if you hurt them by accident? or are they just “animals” who don’t deserve this kind of treatment? if you have “farm animals” do you treat them different than your “pets”

    Attached Thumbnails

    Edited by iamsmiley, 23 February 2011 – 12:54 PM.